Summary: Most married couples have a barrier between them. But they don't even realize it. Thus, they operate with a major handicap. What can be done about it? God only knows. But the walls can come down by the grace of God!

I. Realize your problem – Obvious symptoms.

A. Blame - He had an affair; it’s all his fault. I wasn’t supportive, encouraging, etc.

B. Denial - Worked hard, good provider, don’t know why?

C. Bitter - Saw my father do that, not me! Interpret everything in light of the

past.

D. Vindictive - say cruel things, take it out on kids, hostile at work, even road rage

E. You must deal with past baggage & faulty coping mechanisms . . . God’s way!

II. Resolve your past - Dealing with those responsible . . . God’s way!

A. Receive God’s forgiveness. Assume responsibility for your own failure in the marriage. James 5:16

1. Repent - Change your thinking, admit you’re wrong or at fault.

2. Replace - Exchange false beliefs for the truth. Mark 1:15, Luke 24:47 (repentance and remission of sin)

B. Extending God’s forgiveness. Romans 12:19-21

1. You are not judge, jury or executioner.

2. Vengeance is God’s responsibility.

3. Go and be reconciled. Matthew 5:23-25

4. “I forgive you person’s name.” Ephesians 4:32 Jesus said upon the cross

“Father forgive them.” Luke 23:34

True forgiveness goes the 2nd mile, overcoming evil with good. Not

because they deserve it, but because the love of God compels you.

III. Release the captive - free indeed . . . God’s way!

A. Freedom from guilt - I am forgiven!

B. Freedom from shame - I am clean!

C. Freedom from condemnation - I am loved!

D. Freedom from rejection - I am accepted!

IV. Restore your dignity - you attitude toward yourself . . . God’s way!

A. God forgives me - I forgive myself.

B. God accepts me - I accept myself.

C. God loves me - I love myself.

Copyright©2003 Dr. Lewis Gregory, Source Ministries International

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