Intro
• What is love?
• The word love has got to be one of the hardest words ever to define.
• We talk about love and sing about love but really and truly what is love?
• As hard as it is to define though, we know love when we see it.
• Much like the fact that we cannot see the wind or know what it looks like, we know it exists because we see its effects.
• We recognize love when it is expressed.
• Many in our society today would say that love is nothing more than the physical intimacy that is shared between a man and a woman.(make love)
• Is this truly all there is to love?
• Love is much more than just physical intimacy.
• Love is expressed through the commitments that we make and keep.
• Love is expressed through our thoughts and words for one another.
• Love truly is expressed for one another because of what we think and feel for one another in our deepest parts; our heart.
• It may be a hard word to truly define, but we know love when it is expressed.
• Likewise, we know what hatred is when it is expressed as well.
• As we have followed the song of this groom and bride we have seen true love’s joy in the love that they have for one another.
• We have seen their desire for each other grow but even so we have seen them not give into to sexual temptation for each other; we have seen where true love waits.
• Today, we will see where true love is expressed between this groom and bride during their wedding and wedding night.
• True Love is Expressed at #1 The Appropriate Time with #2 The Right Person by #3 The Uniting of One Flesh.
• Prayer
#1 The Appropriate Time
• Song of Songs 3:6-11
• So far in Song of Songs, we have seen twice now where the woman has challenged the chorus of Jerusalem girls to “not stir up or awaken love until the appropriate time.” (2:7 & 3:5)
• Here in 3:6-11 one can see that the appropriate time has arrived.
• In verse 6, the chorus of Jerusalem girls, sitting with the bride to be, ask the question “What is this?”
• What we see here in this section of scripture is a picture of the wedding processional where the groom has come for his bride (Matt 25:1-13)
• It is quite an awe inspiring picture that the girls give here as well: coming from the wilderness, like columns of smoke, scented (as if they can smell it), Surrounded by 60 warriors.
• This is a very dramatic picture of the groom arriving for his bride and ready to begin the wedding.
• Remember, this book is very symbolic and it should not be taken literally that this is actually King Solomon however it is a picture of how every bride should feel about their groom.
• The groom’s arrival is nothing short of impressive as if he truly was King Solomon.
• He also brings here protection and strength with him; the bride can rest securely in the one that will truly watch after her.
• In verse 9-10 we see the wonderful picture of the palanquin that the groom arrived in to begin their wedding festivities.
• Twice now, we have seen this groom and bride resist the sexual temptations that they have had for one another. (First of all while they were engaged in an embrace in 2:6 and also as they spoke through the window in 2:8-17)
• This, being their wedding day, was the appropriate time to enjoy each other in a sexual manner.
• This was not just the appropriate time in ancient Israel but it is still the appropriate time today!
• Even though our world calls this belief outdated, God’s plan is for people to still only enjoy each other sexually within the confines of marriage.
• The message of our world today is very much the opposite of God’s plan.
• Today, people are not only encouraged to have sex with anyone or anything at any time, but it is celebrated in every aspect of life.
• People who save themselves for marriage today are made fun of and ridiculed; Must be something wrong with them if still a virgin.
• God’s original plan is still in effect today; that has not changed.
• As Christians, we are to only express true love at the appropriate time.
#2 The Right Person
• Song of Songs 4:1-15
• Somewhere in between the end of chapter 3 and the beginning of chapter 4 the marriage of this man and woman takes place.
• We move from the wedding processional to the wedding night.
• Most of this chapter is filled with the man’s praise for his bride.
• Even though she is veiled, he cannot help but to pronounce her beauty.
• The man begins to paint a picture of his bride however this is not a picture of how she truly looks, but how he feels about her.
• He likens her eyes to doves (innocence) as he did in 1:15. (v1)
• Her hair is likened to a “flock of goats streaming down Mt. Gilead.” (v1)
• Her teeth were as white as “newly shorn sheep”; not one missing (v2)
• Her face is desirable; “mouth is lovely”; “lips scarlet cord”; “pomeg.” (v3)
• Her neck is like the tower of David – Admiration, Strength & Dignity (v4)
• Her breasts are two fawns – Tenderness like delicate animals (v5)
• The man is enamored with her beauty and is ready to consummate the marriage. He makes this appeal to her next. (v6-7)
• Here in v8 the man appeals to her; invites her to consummate their marriage. Cannot force though, must be freely given. (v8)
• We also see where the man is hopelessly in love with his bride and at the same time he is aroused by her. (v9-11)
• He refers to her as a “locked garden” and a “sealed spring” but he wishes that she would give into his appeal to be unlocked and unsealed; her love is full of pleasure, abundant and he is ready to partake. (v12-15)
• When looking at this scripture at first glimpse, one might perceive that this is nothing more than just pillow talk, but there is much more to it.
• Notice how the man feels about his bride; to him, there is no one more beautiful, no other woman can compare, she is the perfect one for him!
• This man did not simply think that his bride was beautiful, but that she was the most beautiful woman ever (see description).
• Even though others might not find her beautiful (1:5-6) He thought that she truly was the most beautiful woman in the world. (2:2)
• He cared about her and her feelings (made the appeal but did not force himself, guilt her or devise a plan to fool her into having sex)
• That is the type of spouse that we should be looking for!
• We need a spouse who only sees us among the others and holds us in higher esteem than all the others.
• Although you may not describe your spouse as this man described his bride, we need to speak well of our spouse. Often times couples do nothing but take jabs and make fun of the other.
• As Christians, we need to realize that expressing true love is more than sexual; it involves how we think and talk about our spouse. (right person)
#3 The Uniting Of One Flesh
• Song of Songs 4:16-5:1
• After the groom’s appeal to consummate the marriage, the newlywed couple do just that.
• These two verses are actually the highpoint of this song.
• If you were to look at the structure of this song then you could see how it was the very middle of the song and the very highpoint of it as well.
• The bride calls on the winds to spread her fragrance to her groom in order to draw him to her.
• Then she invites him to come and “eat” of the garden’s “choicest fruits”.
• The groom responds to her invitation and he is ready to indulge in the luxury of her pleasures.
• As they are then drawn to each other, the chorus of Jerusalem girls encourages them to finally indulge in one another’s love.
• This then, is the consummation of their marriage.
• On their wedding night, this bride and groom expressed true love for one another by uniting their flesh as one.
• The Bible teaches us that when marriage is consummated then the husband and wife become one flesh.
• Gen 2:22-24; Matthew 19:4-6
• When you and your spouse become one flesh, your life together begins.
• You now are to leave from your parents and cleave to each other.
• Marriages can be hindered if either spouse place greater weight on what their parents say or instruct instead of each other.
• Also, becoming one flesh means that you become one in everything: Spiritually (Under God), Emotionally (for each other), Physically (Sex/Children), Financially (Nothing is mine; it’s ours).
• As Christians, true love for God and each other is expressed through the uniting of one flesh after marriage.
Conclusion
• Challenge
• True Love is Expressed at #1 The Appropriate Time with #2 The Right Person by #3 The Uniting of One Flesh.
• Challenge:
o Wait for the appropriate time to express your love sexually (After marriage) – Maybe some need to restart
o Wait for the right person (Your Spouse); Pray for your Spouse or potential spouse – How they treat you
o Maybe some need to seek forgiveness; commit to talk better
o Commit to God and your spouse by the uniting of your flesh
o Maybe some need to commit today to oneness in their marriage
