“The Perversion of Love”
The Enabler
II Sam 13:1-
Now Ab′salom, David’s son, had a beautiful sister, whose name was Tamar; and after a time Amnon, David’s son, loved her. 2 And Amnon was so tormented that he made himself ill because of his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible to Amnon to do anything to her. 3 But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jon′adab, the son of Shim′e-ah, David’s brother; and Jon′adab was a very crafty man. 4 And he said to him, “O son of the king, why are you so haggard morning after morning? Will you not tell me?” Amnon said to him, “I love Tamar, my brother Ab′salom’s sister.” 5 Jon′adab said to him, “Lie down on your bed, and pretend to be ill; and when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Let my sister Tamar come and give me bread to eat, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it, and eat it from her hand.’”
• Wow; what a heavy story to deal with when we are talking about the Love month of Lent. But God really laid this on my heart a few weeks ago because there are 5 elements in this story that the church needs engage.
• The Church has been to quiet with regards to the “Perversion of Love” and there are 5 identities that I believe that the church needs to address and learn the correct response.
• Over the next few weeks my sermons are going to be very plain spoken, in some ways PG-13. But……
• I would rather people hear the truth from the pulpit than to buy into a lie from the world! X 2
• The season of Lent begins on Wed, but Lent is all about making preparation in receiving Christ. We as the church need to be prepared in how we receive people in a broken world!
• There are 5 identities in this story that I believe that God wants to “pull the veil back” and allow us to see the brokenness and perversion of love that exists in the lives of people. And we as the church need to learn how speak to them and make connection that reveals the real love of Christ that was demonstated on the Cross of Calvary.
• 5 Identities: Jon-adab; Ammon; Tamar; Servant, and Absalom
• This morning I want to deal with Jon-adab- The Enabler
II Sam 13:3
But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jon′adab, the son of Shim′e-ah, David’s brother; and Jon′adab was a very crafty man
• Jon-adab is the grandson of Jesse; one of King David’s brother Shemah sons. So he is Ammon’s cousin. It isn’t surprising that they are close friends. But what a friend he is.
• The Bible says he was “a crafty man”. In other words he was sly, he was slick, he had ulterior motives, but in some ways he was attempting to help out his friend.
• Jon-adab was an Enabler. An enabler is someone who promotes a specific type of behavior in another person. The term is most often associated with people who allow loved ones to behave in ways that are destructive to themselves or others.
• Let me be clear this morning; Ammon lusted after his sister Tamar and knew full well that itd be “impossible” to wed her. Ammon knew full well that he could not marry his sister. Yet, he still “burned with lust” for her. He knew it was wrong.
• Ammon knew it was wrong, but guess what so does Jon-adab. But what do we know about Jon-adab? He was a “crafty man”.
II Sam 13:4
And he said to him, “O son of the king, why are you so haggard morning after morning? Will you not tell me?” Amnon said to him, “I love Tamar, my brother Ab′salom’s sister.”
• Can you tell if one of your friends or family is troubled about something? You can, why? Because you know them. This scripture tells us that Jon-adab is more than just Ammon’s cousin but a very close friend.
• And Jonadab calls him out on it. He asks whats up with you? And look how Ammon responds…” “I love Tamar, my brother Ab′salom’s sister.”.
• Weird way of putting it. Tamar and Ammon are half siblings. Tamar and Ammon share the same Daddy- King David; but Tamar is a full sister to Absolmon they have the same mother
• Regardless; in the Kings family there is ZERo tolerance for sexual relations or intermarriage amongst siblings in Israel the Law forbids it.
• Ammon knows it, Jon-adab knows it, Tamar knows it; King David knows it, Absalom knows it, the servants know it and even the people of Israel know it! Everyone knows it is wrong, but yet look how Jon-adab responds
II Sam 13:5
Jon′adab said to him, “Lie down on your bed, and pretend to be ill; and when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Let my sister Tamar come and give me bread to eat, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it, and eat it from her hand.’”
• You have to understand this one caveat in the story. There was a real threat in Davids reign that he or one of his family could be assassinated through poisoning. So it wouldn’t be an uncommon request.
• But the uncommonity of this suggestion is the deceit that is improvised into the request. Again both Ammon and Jon-adab know that this is wrong, and yet Jon-adab conceives and births a plan to enable his friend Ammon to get what he wants.
• Ammon doesn’t love his sister Tamar cause when we read the story we know what happens after the fact ; Ammon throws Tamar out and has the door bolted and locked behind her. Ammon doesn’t love her; rather he lusts for her.
• Church there is a difference between love and lust and to often the world confuses the two as the same thing and it perverts what love really is.
• Lust- is a psychological force producing intense wanting for an person; object, or circumstance fulfilling the emotions.It is where one covets something other than what he or she doesn’t have.
• Love- is an interpersonal affection that is only relieved through a personal attachment that perputates kindness, compassion, and affection that promotes the well being of the object.
• Church, nothing in this chapter exudes anything to do with Love, all of it is the product of lust.
• Our society has perverted the word love. We love everything; I love my car, I love Orange Hostess Cupcakes… Example differ
• Orange Hostess Cupcake is temporary. I eat it, swallow it, digest it, and it remains come out. A few hundred calories remain, but I crave the next Orange Hostess Cupcake…It is a lust
• Love is something that attaches us towards the well being.
• Jon-adab conspires in his heart and mind and devises a plan for Ammon to achieve his lustful desired goal of having his sister Tamar. Jon-adab enables Ammon to take advantage of his sister. He is just as guilty as Ammon’s sin towards his sister as Ammon is.
• But let’s put this in perspective…Jon-adab is an Enabler
• His love is more about sustaining himself in and through the life of Ammon, and perversely abuses his relationship by helping Ammon not just in light of Ammon’s wishes but self serving in itself that he is needed.
• Jon-adab is an Enabler and when you enable someone to indulge into their lust; their desires or addiction you are just as guilty of that sin in the eyes of God as Ammon is. Pr KH PR
• Many people and Chrisitians alike enable people intentionally and unintentionally. But my challenge this morning to you is to take a good look at how you might be an Enabler and take those feelings and ideas and lay them at the feet of Jesus. INV
