Have you ever thought about the correlation between risk and
trust? You can’t have one without the other. I turn 60 this summer and
on my 60th birthday, if I can get Sue to agree, I want to go skydiving.
Don’t worry, the bank made the church take out a key-man policy on me
this last year that pays the church $1.5 M if I die, so I’m worth much
more dead than I am alive. So all through the process of putting on the
chute, getting on the itybity plane, flying up to 5000 feet, stepping to the
opening and then finally jumping out, what am I doing? I’m assessing
risk and I’m placing trust. Parachuting is a risky prospect because there
are no guarantees. The more risk I assess, the more trust I must display.
If there were no risk, then there would be no need for trust. And where
will my trust be? Well, part of it will be in that thing called a parachute.
But ultimately, my trust is not in that parachute, it’s in God.
Relationships and particularly marriage, are risky business.
What are the risks in marriage? I asked my staff to list a few:
She might turn out like her mother
Can’t adjust to their annoying habits.
Might get tired of him/her and want a new model.
He/she might get tired of you and want a newer model.
They might leave and take your money
Loss of freedom: can’t do what you want to do: eat where you
want to eat; buy what you want to buy; drive what you want to
drive; wear what you want to wear; play when you want to play,
etc.
Marriage failure. What if you don’t beat the odds?
Marriage mediocrity: not keeping it fresh and exciting
Heartbreak that comes with the suffering or death of someone
that you've given your heart to in marriage
Infidelity: seeking pleasure from someone beside you.
Rejection: they might see me for who I really am and not want
me
Not be loved in return; that is, put it all out on the line and then
not get love in return.
There are no guarantees, are there? Right now the survival rate
in marriage is about 50-50. The survival rate for parachuting is much
higher than that, about 99.8%. If the survival rate for marriage is 50-50,
then the percentage of successful, fulfilling marriages is even less. DO
YOU WANT TO JUST SURVIVE IN YOUR MARRIAGE, OR DO YOU
WANT TO THRIVE? It’s going to take extraordinary risk-taking and trust
on the part of both of you.
Turn with me to Ruth 3. This morning we continue to study the
book of Ruth and the great love story between Ruth and Boaz. In all
great relationships, there are songs that are sung loud and clear, and we
hear these songs in the book of Ruth. In Week 1 we listened to the song
of faithfulness and discovered this key principle: IN EVERY
RELATIONSHIP, PARTICULARLY MARRIAGE, THERE ARE TIMES
WHEN THOSE IN THE RELATIONSHIP MUST BE FAITHFUL,
REGARDLESS OF THE CHALLENGE. In Week 2 we listened to the
song of grace and discovered this key principle: RELATIONSHIPS,
PARTICULARLY MARRIAGE, CAN ONLY SURVIVE WITH LARGE
AMOUNTS OF GRACE
And now this morning we’re going to listen to another critical
song that must be heard loud and clear in healthy relationships and
marriages: the song of trust. ALL RELATIONSHIPS, PARTICULARLY
MARRIAGE, ARE BRIMMING WITH RISK, PROMPTING PARTNERS
TO TRUST AND BE TRUSTWORTHY, ULTIMATELY TRUSTING GOD
FOR THE OUTCOMES
So let’s dig in and read the 3rd chapter together (ON SCREEN)
v.1 “should I not try…” After Naomi hears what happened in ch.2, how
Boaz had cared for Ruth in the field, she seized on the opportunity to try
to find a husband for Ruth, someone who would provide for her and carry
on the family line, which is what the next of kin, the kinsman redeemer
was to do.
v.2 “winnowing barley on the threshing floor…” Now let me pause there
and explain the process to those of us who are city slickers. The
threshing floor would where the valuable grain was separated from the
worthless chaff. (PIC) The barley would be piled on a hard surface,
probably stone, and either an ox or the workers would tread on the grain,
separating the inner kernels from the worthless outer chaff. The workers
would pick up a bunch of the stuff, throw it into the air where the wind
would carry away the chaff and the heavier kernels would fall back on
the floor. This would be repeated until all the grain was gathered and the
chaff was blown away. This image, this process is used over and over
again to describe the futility of anything and anyone not godly. Psalm 1
“NOT SO THE WICKED!
THEY ARE LIKE CHAFF THAT THE WIND
BLOWS AWAY. THEREFORE THE WICKED WILL NOT STAND IN
THE JUDGMENT, NOR SINNERS IN THE ASSEMBLY OF THE
RIGHTEOUS. FOR THE LORD WATCHES OVER THE WAY OF THE
RIGHTEOUS, BUT THE WAY OF THE WICKED WILL PERISH.”
PSALM 1:4-6
v.3 ‘wash and perfume yourself…best clothes.” Naomi knew what all
wise women know: a man’s senses are the gateway to his heart. One of
the things that helps me stay in love with Sue is that she keeps such
good care of herself. You might be saying, ‘Russ, shouldn’t your love be
deeper than physical appearance?” My response is, “You bet. My love
is deeper than physical appearance, but that’s not all it’s based on. A
man, even the godliest, wants his woman to put the effort into looking
good for him. Naomi knows this, and prompts Ruth to put effort into
looking and smelling good for Boaz.
v.4 “He will tell you what to do.” This was a risky move. He could have
flat rejected her (I don’t’ want you). He could have beaten her. He could
have had her thrown off his land and then they’d have no food to live on.
v.6 “her mother in law told her to do.” We’ve seen the risk; now here is
the trust. Ruth is placing a lot of trust in the wisdom of her mother in law.
v.7 “lie down by the grain pile.” Why was Boaz lying down there? Two
probable reasons: 1) To protect the grain from thieves; 2) normally they
would harvest during the day and thresh the grain at night, so he would
sleep until it was his turn.
v.7 “uncovered his feet and lay down.” She doesn’t lie down beside him.
She lays at his feet, signifying her submission to him. It was customary
for servants to lay at their master’s feet.
v.9 “spread the corner of your garment over me” There is that concept
of covering that we studied in our last series, The Skin I’m In.
Remember this statement for next week.
v.9 “kinsmen redeemer.” Now let’s pause. This is high drama. There is
no guarantee that Boaz will respond they way she hoped he would. Her
heart must have been pounding loud enough for him to hear. Would he
kick her; beat her; throw her out?
v.10 “rich or poor”. He’s actually touched that she would seek him out.
Now his heart must have been pounding loud enough for her to here:
“This hot young thing wants me to be her husband.” He’s thinking: do I
risk giving my heart to her?
v.11 “woman of noble character” Now, if this were a contemporary
story, they would end up rolling around on the threshing floor in an xrated
display of sexual passion. But not so with these two persons of integrity
and noble character.
Let me say a word to those of you who are single: sex outside of
marriage has been, is, and always be wrong. It’s a sin against God and
as such, it is destructive for you. 1 CORINTHIANS 6:18 (NLT) SAYS,
“RUN FROM SEXUAL SIN! NO OTHER SIN SO CLEARLY AFFECTS
THE BODY AS THIS ONE DOES. FOR SEXUAL IMMORALITY IS A
SIN AGAINST YOUR OWN BODY.” As the day dawns, it dawns on the
sexual purity of Ruth and Boaz. May it be said of you as well. For the
glory of God and for your own good, may the day dawn each day on your
sexual purity.
v.14 “that a woman came to the threshing floor” It’s unclear if he is
directing this to her or to the workers. He is not asking them to lie;
discretion means that there are some things better left unsaid.
v.18 “settled today.” So now the stage is set for the final act.
ALL RELATIONSHIPS, PARTICULARLY MARRIAGE, ARE
BRIMMING WITH RISK, PROMPTING PARTNERS TO TRUST AND
BE TRUSTWORTHY, ULTIMATELY TRUSTING GOD FOR THE
OUTCOMES
We’ve outlined the risks taken in this relationship between Ruth
and Boaz, but as I said earlier, risk and trust go together.
Trust is the response to risk. Don’t miss this: TRUST IS THE
BASIS FOR ALL LOVE RELATIONSHIPS. How does trust strengthen
a marriage?
1. IT PROMPTS US TO RISK. Ruth trusted the judgment of
Naomi, and she trusted the righteous character of Boaz.
2. IT PULLS BACK THE PRIDE. Ruth and Boaz both were
humble people who realized they needed something they did not have by
themselves. When we trust, we are by definition relying on someone
else for something we can’t provide for ourselves. That’s what being a
help-mate is all about: rounding each other out to make each of us
better.
3. IT PROMPTS US TO REVEAL. Both Ruth and Boaz laid it out
there hoping and trusting that the other would accept them. Each of us
want to reveal who we are, in all our neediness, and trust prompts us to
do so.
CALL BAND X 224
4. IT PROMPTS US TO BUILD. Ruth and Boaz were building a
future together—and the future was based on a healthy trust. Trust is the
basis for all love relationships.
How do you build trust? Well, it’s not rocket science.
CONSISTENCY, INTEGRITY, & FAITHFULNESS Trust is built
when we can be relied upon to do what we’ve said we’ll do with
consistency.
But what about when trust is destroyed? What do you do then?
To talk about that, please welcome to the stage Chris and Melissa Titus.
(interview)
ALL RELATIONSHIPS, PARTICULARLY MARRIAGE, ARE
BRIMMING WITH RISK, PROMPTING PARTNERS TO TRUST AND
BE TRUSTWORTHY, ULTIMATELY TRUSTING GOD FOR THE
OUTCOMES
