"No Longer Hiding in Shame"
John 21:1-19
It has been defined as "a painful feeling of humiliation or distress."
Many scholars agree that it is "the most disturbing experience individuals ever have about themselves; no emotion feels more deeply disturbing..." because "the self feels wounded from within."
It is the feeling or thoughts that we are somehow wrong, defective, inadequate, not good enough, or not strong enough.
It has been called the "master emotion" because so much of our experience is filtered through this lens.
It warps and confounds our understanding of ourselves and others and leaves so many of us living with the question: "What's wrong with me?"
When it is repressed it is usually expressed in indirect ways such as anger or boasting.
It may be what is behind a personality that appears to be rigid or judgmental.
It can lead to a host of psycho-social problems: depression, anxiety disorders, alcohol and drug abuse, infidelity, withdrawing from society, and even suicide.
It is one of the most painful and difficult emotions we deal with.
It is internalized and deeply connected to our sense of who we are.
It is different from guilt.
Guilt can lead to healing.
This emotion is never healthy or useful.
I would imagine many of you have figured out what I am referring to by now.
I'm talking about shame.
While everyone feels shame, most of us don't recognize it in its many forms.
We can experience fleeting shame at burping too loud in an elevator.
Or we can feel chronic shame, thinking that, as a whole person, we are flawed and inferior.
The most intense feeling of shame is humiliation.
Humiliation is so painful that we can think: "This is so painful I wish I could just die!"
Why am I bringing all this up?
I am bringing this up because, although there are many aspects of this morning's Gospel Lesson that I could preach on--Shame--is one aspect that I have never approached--but it is here!!!
As a matter of fact, it has been in the Bible ever since Genesis.
I believe it was hard-wired into our DNA when Adam and Eve disobeyed God in the Garden.
Remember what happened?
As soon as they ate the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, "they both saw clearly and knew that they were naked.
So they sewed fig leaves together and made garments for themselves."
Then when the Lord Who loved them and created them and knew them better than they knew themselves came walking in the garden: they hid themselves because they were ashamed.
"Where are you," the Lord God called out.
"[We were] naked, and hid [ourselves]" was their answer.
And we have been hiding ever since.
It never seems to end, or does it--or can it?
In our Gospel Lesson for this morning, Peter and John are in a boat.
They and some of the other disciples had been fishing all night, but they hadn't caught a thing.
Early in the morning, "Jesus stood on the shore."
He called out to them to cast their net on the other side of the boat.
He promises them that they will catch some fish if they do so.
And so they did, and they caught so many fish they "couldn't haul in the net."
Then, the disciple John recognized Jesus and said to Peter: "It's the Lord!"
And we are told in verse 7 that "When Simon Peter heard it was the Lord, he wrapped his coat around himself (for he was naked) and jumped into the water."
Isn't that a peculiar detail to put in this story?
Usually, if there is a specific detail in the Bible, there is a good reason for it.
We are not usually told what people are wearing or not wearing in the Bible.
And for instance, we aren't even told the color of any of the disciple's hair.
We don't know what Jesus looked like, although the Prophet Isaiah did insinuate that there would be nothing particularly attractive or special about His appearance.
So why are we told, in John Chapter 21:7, that Peter liked to fish naked?
Or that he had fished naked that particular evening, and then before he jumped in the water to swim to the Lord he wrapped his coat around him to cover his nakedness?
He didn't seem to mind being naked in front of John and the other disciples.
Why would Jesus be any different?
Well, we must remember that Jesus is God.
And so, Peter, becomes self-conscious of his nakedness, just as Adam and Eve did before God.
The difference between Adam and Eve and Peter is that, although all three dressed themselves--Peter didn't hide when God appeared.
Peter jumped in the water and swam as fast as he could toward the One he knew loved him more than anyone in the world!!!
Peter doesn't allow his shame to stop him from moving toward Jesus.
Peter knows that Jesus loves him, no matter what he has done, no matter who he is...
...no matter what his self image is...
...and although Peter hasn't yet "arrived" or has not yet been made perfect in love and faith he is on his way.
You know why I say this?
Because shame is no longer Peter's "master emotion."
It doesn't control him.
He doesn't hide from God.
He understands that God loves him despite his flaws, despite his sins, despite his imperfections!!!
And that, my friends, is the first step toward salvation!!!
That is the first step toward healing of the human soul.
As I read earlier from Romans Chapter 5: "God shows his love for us, because while we were still sinners Christ died for us," and in verse 5 it says that "this hope doesn't put us to shame."
While we were still naked and hiding in our shame--Christ loved us--and showed this love to us by dying on a Cross for us.
"For God so loved the world" of naked, ashamed and hiding people "that he gave his one and only Son so that whosoever will believe in him," no longer needs to be 'cut off from him' due to their shame!!!!
Do you feel shame this morning?
What causes shame in your life?
Does shame control you?
Does it have a strangle hold on your ability to really live and enjoy life?
Does it affect your relationship with God and other people?
Does it keep you from being all you can be?
Whereas guilt has to do with our actions, shame is about who we are.
It is a message we have learned and internalized about our value, worth and lovability.
Shame says: "I am not good enough. I am not lovable. I am not okay."
Shame leads to a disconnection from others; it prevents us from feeling strong enough to confess our mistakes, making us defensive when others point them out.
Shame is based on a negative assessment of our entire being.
If shame makes us feel worthless, we are more likely to develop depression.
Shame is a trap.
The devil loves shame.
Ask yourself this question this morning: "Are you trapped by shame?"
Do you have a feeling of inferiority that is all-encompassing?
Listen, we all experience shame.
Again, it has been hard-wired into our DNA ever since Adam and Eve fell in the Garden.
One expert on the subject gives this interesting analysis: "We didn't know until recently, but infants are born hard-wired with the ability to experience shame.
Here is an example.
Baby is sitting on the kitchen counter in her infant seat.
Mom steps out of the room for a minute.
When mom starts walking back into the room, baby hears Mom's steps, and anticipates making joyful eye contact with her when she gets back.
But this time Mom is preoccupied, and when she comes back into the room, she does not meet baby's eyes.
As a result, the muscles in baby's neck lose their strength, and her head drops down.
She turns her face away from Mom.
Her eyes are cast downward and she may even drool.
This is shame/humiliation.
Mom did not meet baby's high interest; she did not make the connection.
Baby's shame is the result."
When John exclaimed: "It's the Lord!"
Peter was still aware of his nakedness and he still experienced some shame.
His feeling of shame caused him to wrap his coat around himself because he was naked.
But his feeling of shame did not stop him from moving as fast as he could toward the Lord!!!
And this is the same for all of us.
Jesus died to set us free from our shame and guilt.
Jesus came to undo the shame of Adam.
Jesus came to break us free from shame in order that we can leap forward toward wholeness!!!!
Later in our Gospel Lesson, Jesus asks Peter 3 times, "Do you love, me?"
Peter replies, "Lord, you know that I love you."
And each time, Jesus gives Peter a job to do for the Kingdom: "Feed my lambs" "Take care of my sheep" "Feed my sheep."
After telling Peter that His allegiance to Jesus will ultimately cost him his life, Jesus none-the-less says to Peter "Follow me."
And Peter does just that!!!
Jesus asks the same questions of us.
"Do you love me?"
If our answer is "yes" He lets us know what job He has for us to do.
Then, He is honest about the cost.
But, my friends, the cost of following Christ is nothing compared to the freedom in it!!!
Bonhoeffer was correct in saying: "When Christ calls us he bids us to come and die"--but in doing so--we actually are being called to live!!!
What will you do with the call of Christ on your life?
Do you want to live?
Will you follow Him?
You need not be ashamed.
