ENGAGE
In our relationships it seems like there are two kinds of people – those who look at our lives and see our weaknesses and tell us what we can’t do, and those who look at our lives and look past those weaknesses to our strengths and tell us what we can do. That is true in our families, our jobs, in the church and in our communities.
TENSION
I’d like for you to think of your own lives for a moment and see if you can identify at least one person that fits into each of those categories. I’ve given you space on your sermon outline to write down some names if you’d like.
People who looked at the weaknesses in my life and told me what I could not do:
People who looked past my weaknesses to my strengths and told me what I could do:
Now what I want you to do is to think about those people and consider which ones have had the most positive impact on your life. I think the answer is pretty obvious isn’t it? Those people who have encouraged us to do things that we maybe didn’t even think we could certainly have a more positive impact on our lives than those who have discouraged us from taking the kind of risks in our lives that lead to us becoming the very best we can be.
So if that is the case, don’t you think that all of us need to work on being that kind of encourager rather than holding others back by always focusing on what they can’t do rather than on what they can do? This morning, we’ll see how loving like Jesus requires us to develop that kind of mindset in our relationships with others.
TRUTH
As we’ve done each week in this series, we’ll begin with Paul’s description of Biblical love in 1 Corinthians 13. The next phrase in that passage is:
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things…
(1 Corinthians 13:7 ESV)
After spending a lot of time explaining what love is not, Paul now returns to looking at what love is with this triplet. Let’s examine briefly each of those three phrases:
On the surface, the phrase “bears all things” seems pretty similar to where we began when Paul wrote that love is “patient”. But the word Paul uses here literally means…
“bears all things” =
“to cover all things”
The idea here is that love covers the faults and shortcomings in the lives of others. We can better understand what that means if we consider how God has loved us by covering our sins. God certainly does not ignore or excuse our sins. But He has provided a way that they can be covered through the blood of Jesus.
Likewise, when we bear, or cover, all things, we do not ignore or excuse sin. But there is a sense in which we choose not to publicly reveal the sins of others and in which we overlook their weaknesses in the process of serving their needs.
We need to really be careful with the next phrase – “believes all things”. That phrase does not mean what it sounds like in English. It doesn’t mean that we are to be gullible and just blindly believe anything that someone else tells us.
“believes all things” =
“has full confidence”
Paul is not speaking here of just blind faith, but rather confidence that has a basis in the truth, which as we saw last week, is a person – Jesus – and not just a correct set of facts.
The last phrase – “hopes all things” means much more than just wishful thinking. As we saw in our study of 1 Peter, Biblical hope is confident expectation that God will carry out all that He has promised. So here we see that when it comes to love…
“hopes all things” =
“full of confident expectation”
As with each and every aspect of Jesus’ love that we have been studying in this series, we could find a number of passages where Jesus demonstrated a love that bears all things, believes all things and hopes all things. The passage we’ll look at this morning is at the very end of Matthew’s gospel account in chapter 28, beginning in verse 16. My guess is that this is a very familiar passage for most of us.
Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. And when they saw him they worshiped him, but some doubted. And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
(Matthew 28:16-20 ESV)
Probably most of the time that you have read or studied this passage, you focused on the topic of evangelism, which is certainly appropriate. But this morning, I want us to look at this passage from a slightly different perspective and see haw Jesus loved His disciples by giving them the task of making more disciples. So we won’t focus so much here on that task itself, but rather on the process by which Jesus communicated that task to His disciples. And when we do that, we find…
When I love like Jesus loves
I set others free
to be the best that they can be
APPLICATION
HOW TO SET OTHERS FREE TO BE THE BEST THEY CAN BE
1. Look for capabilities rather than liabilities
There is a detail at the end of verse 17 that is easy to overlook. Matthew records that as the disciples met with Jesus on the mountain in Galilee after His resurrection, they worshiped Him. That is expected. But what I not expected is that Mathew tells us that some of them still doubted Jesus.
In order to understand that idea, some context is needed. We can’t determine the exact timing of this event, but when we put it together with the other gospel accounts, this incident probably took placesometime after Jesus appeared to the disciples while they were fishing in the account in John chapter 21 that we looked at as we began this series. So that would place it somewhere between about 3 weeks after the resurrection and Jesus’ ascension, which took place 40 days after the resurrection. Therefore, Jesus has already appeared to His disciples on several different occasions. So the question is why they would still doubt Jesus.
Some commentators, and I tend to agree with them, believe this is the event that Paul referred to in 1 Corinthians 15, when he reported that Jesus appeared to 500 of His disciples at one time. If that is the case, then the 11 are just part of the crowd. So if that is the case, most of those there that day had not yet seen the risen Jesus, which would certainly explain their doubt.
But we should also note that the verb “doubt” used here is not the same one normally used in the New Testament to express a lack of belief. This particular verb means “to hesitate” or “to waver”. It has to do more with hesitating to act than it does with mental unbelief. So even if this is not the time that Jesus appeared to the 500, and some of the 11 doubted, it was not unbelief as much as it was their hesitation to worship Jesus.
That’s not really surprising if you think about it. None of these men had ever seen a resurrected body before. So they were uncertain about whether to actually worship Him, and if so, how exactly they were to do that.
But regardless of who it was that doubted here, what I want us to see is that Jesus didn’t allow that doubt to deter Him from the purpose of this meeting, which was to entrust His disciples with the task of making more disciples. Jesus looked past their liabilities – in this case their doubt – and focused instead on their capabilities.
Jesus had spent the last three and a half years with these men, preparing them for the task that He was now giving to them. And in that time, He had come to know both their strengths and their weaknesses. But here He chooses to “cover” or “bear” their faults and focus instead on their capabilities that would enable them to complete the task ahead of them.
Obviously I’m not suggesting here that we just ignore the weaknesses in the lives of others or that we merely excuse sin in their life. Sometimes a weakness is so significant that it would be prohibitive. For instance, if I were to get the idea in my head that I was going to become an NBA basketball player, my lack of physical abilities and basketball skills is not going to be overcome just because someone encourages me to work hard to achieve that goal.
But I do believe that there are probably far too many times when we focus so much on another person’s liabilities that it clouds our capacity to see their capabilities. And perhaps that occurs most often with the people we are closest to and know best. And when we do that, we unnecessarily hold back our spouses, children, co-workers and our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ from being the best that they can be.
Possible action step:
• Think about my closest relationships. Is there anyone that I am holding back because I’m more focused on their liabilities than their capabilities. If so, ask God to help me change my mindset and then take action to encourage those other people.
When I love like Jesus loves
I set others free
to be the best that they can be
And that requires that I look for capabilities rather than liabilities.
2. Offer risk-taking trust
Notice what Jesus does here. He takes the authority that has been entrusted to Him and He passes on that authority to His disciples. In verse 18 He reminds them that all authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Him. And with the command in verse 19, He is essentially passing that authority on to those eleven disciples.
Jesus has spent the last three and a half years of His life building into their lives in order to make them His disciples and now He is passing that responsibility to make disciples of all nations on to them. Just think about the risk that Jesus took when He entrusted the perpetuation of His kingdom here on earth to this group of uneducated men who were not highly thought of in their culture. These are certainly not the people we would have picked to carry out that task.
And Jesus had no backup plan. The continuation of His ministry here on this earth was 100% dependent on the ability of these eleven to carry out the task that Jesus gave them. But the trust that Jesus demonstrated by entrusting these men with that task enabled them to do something that probably none of them thought they were capable of doing. And they were going to need that kind of confidence because the task was not going to be easy and every single one of them would die carrying out Jesus’ command.
This is an area where I don’t particularly excel. Far too many times in my life I have taken the safe route and just done something myself rather than entrust the task to someone else. That has been true in my family, in my work and in my ministry at times. As I worked on the message this week, I realized just how many times I have been guilty of holding others back from being all that they could be because I wasn’t willing to take the risk of fully trusting them to carry out some task. And I had to seek God’s forgiveness for that.
I think this concept is particularly important with our children. Obviously I’m not suggesting that we allow our children, especially our young children, to be put in a situation where they might be harmed permanently. But on the other hand, “helicopter parents” who do everything for their kids and who try to protect them from every possible harm, are actually not loving their children with a love that bears all things, believes all things and hopes all things.
Sometimes, just as is true with us as adults, our children learn a whole lot more from their failures than their successes. And, at the same time, when we allow our children to try some new things that we don’t think they could possibly do, it often reveals abilities and aptitudes that even we didn’t see.
Obviously taking the risk to entrust them with some tasks and responsibility that might stretch them quite a bit the needs to be balanced with our responsibility to protect them from unnecessary harm. And finding that balance takes a lot of prayer. But if we do that wisely, we’ll find that as our kids grow up, we’ll be able to entrust them with more and more which enable them to be the best that they can be.
Remember, it was only after three and a half years of on-the-job training, where he continually entrusted His disciples with more and more responsibility, that Jesus left them with this life mission of making disciples. Fortunately, most of us have a lot longer than that with our kids, but we sure need to make the most of that time.
Possible action step:
• In my relationships, are there people that I have been holding back because I have been unwilling to take the risk of entrusting them with an important task? If so, confess that to God, and to the other person if necessary. Where possible, take steps to entrust others with appropriate responsibilities now.
When I love like Jesus loves
I set others free
to be the best that they can be
And that requires offering risk-taking trust.
3. Have the other person’s back
Although Jesus was about to physically leave the earth to return to His Father, He wasn’t going to just leave His disciples to carry out the task that He had given them on their own. With His final words, He promises to be with them to the very end of the age.
It is quite interesting that Matthew’s gospel begins and ends with the presence of Jesus. In chapter 1, Matthew cites the prophecy of Isaiah that identified Jesus as Immanuel – God with us. And now, here at the end of the gospel, Jesus leaves His disciples with the promise to be with them always.
I imagine that when Jesus ascended to the Father a short time later, these men might have wondered about Jesus’ promise here. But Jesus had actually told them on several prior occasions how He was going to do that. When He left to go to the Father, He would send the Holy Spirit to dwell permanently in their lives. In many ways, that was even better than Jesus’ presence with them on earth because in His humanity He had been limited to being only on one place at one time so there was no way He could be with all the disciples all the time.
Essentially what Jesus was telling them was “I’ve got your back.” Even though He would no longer be physically present with them like He had been, He had made provisions to make sure they had everything they needed to complete the task He had given them.
Once again, this principle requires some balance. Having someone’s back doesn’t necessarily mean micro-managing them once you’ve entrusted them with some responsibility. Jesus certainly didn’t do that with His disciples. He turned them free to complete the task He had given them by utilizing their talents, skills and abilities in a way that was consistent with who God made them to be.
We know that even though all eleven did carry out the task of making disciples, they did it in completely different ways. Some, like Peter, did that in a very public manner, preaching boldly in front of large crowds. Many of the other disciples obviously made disciples in a much less public way, although we do have some idea of their ministry from both Biblical and extra-biblical historical records. But all of them did that knowing that they could rely upon the Holy Spirit.
Loving like Jesus requires us to have the other person’s back in an appropriate way. And that is going to be different in every situation. When my kids were young, that did mean micromanaging much of their life. And I hope that Peter and Pam know that I still have their back now, even though that obviously takes a much different form now that they are adults with their own kids.
Possible action step:
• Consider what practical steps I can take to support those I have entrusted with a task in my home, work, church, and community.
When I love like Jesus loves
I set others free
to be the best that they can be
And that requires that I have the other person’s back in an appropriate way.
INSPIRATION
I would not be here as your pastor today without the people who loved me with the kind of love we have been talking about today. When God first began calling me to this kind of ministry, there were some people who couldn’t see past my liabilities. After all, I had no seminary degree and very little church ministry experience. But fortunately, there were others who could see beyond those limitations and who took the risk to trust me to be their pastor and who have had my back along the way. And I’m so grateful for those people.
In particular, there has been one person who has consistently loved me like that and helped me to be the best that I can be.
Most of the pastors I know began their vocational ministry, or at least the preparation for that ministry before they were married. So when they got married their wives knew that they were going to be a pastor’s wife. And even though they might not have understood all that would entail, they at least had some idea of what they were getting themselves into.
When Mary agreed to marry me, she did not sign on to be a pastor’s wife, because at that point in my life that was not even a remote possibility in my mind. But when God began to call me to pastoral ministry, she was my biggest encourager. She was able to see beyond my liabilities and encourage me to use my capabilities. She encouraged me to take the risk to take an unconventional path to becoming a pastor. And all along the way she has had my back.
And she has done all that at a tremendous personal cost. Unless you have been a pastor’s wife, there is no way that you can possibly imagine the stresses that a pastor’s wife, and his children as well, face. If any of you men go get a job, I don’t know any employer who expects that they also get the added benefit of having your wife work for the company for free as well. But for some reason, churches often seem to have this unreasonable expectation that the pastor and his wife are a “package deal”. So the wife is expected to play the piano, be at every church function and participate in every ministry.
But not only has Mary faced those normal stresses of being a pastor’s wife, on top of all of that she had to work her own full time job to support our family financially, especially during the time when I was a church planter and was lucky if the church had enough money each month just to pay for our health insurance. By loving me with a love that bears all things, believes all things and hopes all things, Mary has freed me to become the best that I can be.
ACTION
My prayer this morning is that you’ll look for some ways that you can love your spouse, your children, your co-workers and your brothers and sisters in Christ like that so that they, too, can become the very best that they can be. As we close our time in prayer this morning, will you join me is asking God to show you how He wants you to put into practice this week one or more of the action steps we have considered this morning, so that you can love like Jesus loves.
