Summary: People manipulate opinions with their tongues. Offensive words cause people to get offended and not return to church. People must repent to control the out of control fires they start.as words have consequences.

Pray Before You Say Or Pay (The Consequences) Kelly Durant 9-11-16

James 3:2 For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body. 3 Behold, we put bits in the horses' mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body. 4 Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth. 5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.

2. When you were young did you ever hear this from a friend, “Look at that gal!” when they saw the most attractive person ever, with the perfect body, perfect hair but then when they went to talk to them just after a few minutes all the attractiveness gets disinflated? A person may look so good on the outside but by their speech you can discern if they are shallow, ignorant, arrogant, or offensive. People reveal who they really are by their speech, be it dumb, shallow, ignorant, or offensive! How do people see you? Are your words for extending God’s Word or for your own advancement?

What we speak matters! Isn’t it true that most of time we have small talk with others because we don’t want to get into another’s business to make them uncomfortable? For example, ‘It’s been raining a lot, don’t you think? It’s been hotter than usual, right?’ These are good conversation starters but if we only talk about the weather all the time people are going to think that you and I are either dumb, shallow, ignorant, or crazy, right? Or sometimes people do not talk to you because they may not trust you being afraid you might repeat something said and distort it and spread it around. And some people are too loud and aggressive so they are avoided.

As Christians we must discipline ourselves every day to become wise in our speech or we will come off as a hypocrite or a fool. We are the ‘salt of the earth’, and what we say should add a good flavor to any conversation. Some people instead, however, in place of adding salt they add too much of their own bitter lemons, or too many chili peppers and then that everyone leaves with a bad taste in their mouth! If you are a person that likes to pridefully show off, offend or humiliate, argue or be smart-mouthed then you need a serious repentance. Speech reveals the heart, and a Christian lacking in having a holy pure heart needs to ask God to break them and remake them, otherwise you are harming God’s work by making others stumble!

3. Do you think everyone here could all use more wisdom in what they say? That they need to pray before they say? Some people bring unity and togetherness with their loving, inspired-by-Jesus sincere words, but then there are some others that with their words are like superglue remover, who seem to dissolve with negative comments the unity and love God wants us to have together. Remember, it is better that people wonder why you did not speak, than to wonder why you said what you said!

Isn’t it sad when a person is saying to you, look at that person over there, they only come here to take advantage of what you give away, and you can discern they are saying it with the jealous motive of hoping you will stop giving to them so they can take advantage of you and get more for their selves? When people make any comments remember this verse, Proverbs 23:7 “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.” When a person speaks of something and accuses of something, the first one you should try to analyze the person speaking, not the one accused.

We all are commanded by Jesus to forgive one another as many times we all mess up by saying something wrong, we can being selfishly motivated or controlling at times, so admit it to yourself, I probably have said some dumb, ignorant, and offensive things to others! You and I must learn to pray before we say or we will bring on suffering! The suffering of others and also the suffering of your own sinful guilt and rejection. Ask yourself, ‘If my words were like those written from a pencil would my eraser get worn out before the pencil is too short?’

Is anyone’s opinion always right? Sometimes you are right in your words and other times wrong, like any of us, but you must ask yourself, do I really pray before I say things? Speaking all your mind is not wise because people react to what is said and it can get messy. Proverbs 10:19 In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise. So when are you going to start making things right with God and your brothers by controlling your tongue more?

4. When a person opens their mouth about something and the listeners know that it is not fully correct information, or it appears to be words intended to skew opinions, or it’s just an ego inflated exaggeration, the embarrassment boomerangs back on the person speaking. Proverbs 6:2 Thou art snared with the words of thy mouth, thou art taken with the words of thy mouth.

The consequence of being wreckless with words is that the listeners will either start sharing in your opinions that may not be totally correct and this could bring discord, or the opposite, people start being angry at you for speaking something that you should have just left unsaid.

Words divide or unite us and if an offense is intended by any words you speak, then this lack of love gets embarrassingly exposed. The problem with offending with words is it is like road rage. When one person is rude, then the other one gets rude back and then it keeps escalating until there is a wreck! So Lord, please, please help each one of us here to learn to pray before we say so we do not pay the consequences in damaged relationships! Proverbs 16:7 When a man's ways please the Lord, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him.

5. James 5:4 Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth. When we are in meetings, or just talking amongst ourselves please steer the ship into safe deep waters. No crew member should let the wrong person control the rudder and take the ship into turbulent waters, jeopardizing the whole crew!

James 5:5 ‘Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!’ It is not right that everyone has to stop what they are doing to run to put out a fire that someone started by opening their mouth when they should have kept it shut!

Aren’t some people are evil? They like to start fires and then run away! They think it is funny when everyone is excited, angry, and yelling over something they said! People who love to start fires and dramas and burn things dividing families and churches will have to face God’s judgment! Matthew 12:37 For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.

6. Here is another issue with words, people tell stories about others not knowing if they are true or not. Proverbs 18:8 The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly. In other words, it does matter a lot what we say about others as we are figuratively stabbing them in the gut! The person who goes around spreading stories about another is causing wounds and God sees all. Telling stories to get followers and haters is what the corrupt political people do, and we are all so tired of it! But liars and people baring false witnesses are people condemned by God, and the contrast is we are supposed to be the opposite, “blessed peacemakers!’

Proverbs 20:19 He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips. Have you ever known people who just love to tell secrets? Do you know what this revels? It reveals that this person may be sick spiritually and weak inside and they get to feel powerful when they tell you something you did not know about another. The talebearer seeks pride for the power of manipulation and God hates the proud but gives grace to the humble. Proverbs 17:9 He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.

The words we circulate matter! A secret teller may be inventing something to discredit another or bringing up something in the past and it may be true but either way we must discern how to react. The problem is a secret from a person’s past, maybe even 10 years ago, may have nothing to do with their present such as, ‘Did you know so and so has been to jail?’ People who reveal these types of secrets about their repentant brothers or sisters are bringing division. Why bring it up? If a person already suffered for something, how is it that now you are going to betray their image and healing process? Most everyone has something shameful in their past and I assume we could talk about any one of us here but Jesus is not about highlighting sins (that’s what Satan, the accuser of the saints does). Jesus is about forgiveness, and the bright future He has ahead for us for our change of heart to live in holiness, and for our transformation of the mind and bridling of the tongue. Psalm 32:9 Be ye not as the horse, or as the mule, which have no understanding: whose mouth must be held in with bit and bridle, lest they come near unto thee.

7. People reap what they sew with their words and I have seen some families with an exaggerated amount of hate, troubles, sickness, and division amongst their selves that they brought upon their own selves just for having offensive mouths! Most people are influenced by the world and think it is normal to continually mock, and poke fun of others. In my B.C. (before Christ) era I imitated the world’s speech and I used to mock and even use the ‘s…’ and ‘f…’ word in every sentence as the people of the world do, but when I changed my heart with Jesus my speech cleaned up as well.

I, like anyone, have also been guilty of pestering and provoking and I hope all of you know by now know that this is dumb and unwise. Proverbs 30:33 Surely the churning of milk bringeth forth butter, and the wringing of the nose bringeth forth blood: so the forcing of wrath bringeth forth strife.

Satan loves to divide and offend by using you or me as his mouthpiece, and we see this in politics and business, but we should never allow it amongst our Christian brother! Jesus rebuked Peter when he was speaking for Satan! Haven’t we all seen offended people quit coming to the Corps (church), because someone said something ugly and they got mad at the person, or mother-in-law, and left?

8. Most of the time the reason a person does not want to come back to church is not because they have moved, but because someone offended them, did you know this is what I have discovered? So why don’t we find out who is offending others amongst ourselves and pray they either change or take their mouth and spirit not-of-Jesus somewhere else? What is the motive for the rudeness anyway? Can you think of a person right now who does not come anymore and you suspect it is because of something you may have commented? Before fully following Jesus we all were a terrible offensive mess, so if God was merciful to you, you had better be merciful to others or God’s judgement is coming to you.

What a crime it is that someone’s big mouth may create big problems, right? A church and this Corps exists so that the family of believers can fellowship in love and receive blessings; so all of this Christian system exists so hurting others can come to hear the Word of God and get help however they need it and this brings them hope, healing, salvation, wisdom, rebuke and intelligence. But if someone says the wrong thing, it destroys all the good that was done!

How many people have you and I seen destroyed by offensive people with big mouths and manipulative words that have driven them to sickness and insanity? And no one can stop these loosed tongued people, only Jesus can break and remake them! These kinds offend, and keep on offending because they are not desperate to do God’s will so their fruit for God is not there. Often people don’t stop because they have not yet fully payed for the consequences of their actions. The consequences to be reaped for ill spoken words include the feeling of a guilty dirty spirit, rejection by others, loneliness because others don’t trust them, depression, despair, sickness, and the knowledge that God’s judgment will be severe on them for creating hell with all their mouths!

9. The consequences of offensive words is serious! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. James had it right, the people who like to start fires with their comments will have to deal with the hell that comes with it.

Do you realize how many pastors or Captains have left the ministry because they just got tired of having to deal with horrible offensive people who would just keep hammering away with their crafty words at them or others? And it was usually behind their backs and it was all because someone had an embittered, jealous, angry, prideful unrepentant heart!

So how do you and I put out a fire? With water! The water of God’s Word! The most important prayer Jesus taught us contains this difficult part that says Matt 6:12 And forgive us our debts (other versions ‘offenses’), As we forgive our debtors.13 And do not lead us into temptation, But deliver us from the evil one. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. 14 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Like it or not you and I are commanded to forgive all things. God commands it for our own good, for our own freedom from anger, bitterness, and revenge. And it is not our place to demand a person ask for forgiveness either, that is pride and that is seeing the speck in your brothers eye while ignoring the huge log in your eye. Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. Put water on the fire and pray before you say!