Fruit of the Spirit – Self-Control
How to Gain More Self-Control
Today we finish up the characteristics of the fruit of the Spirit. We are looking at self-control. Next week we will deal with the phrase – “against such things there is no law.” Let’s go ahead and read our focal verses at this point. Galatians 5:22-23 says:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” Gal 5:22-23 (NASB)
Many of your problems and mine are caused by a lack of self-control. We ask questions like: Why can’t I lose weight? Why can’t I keep the house clean? Why can’t I get more done? Why can’t I break that bad habit? Why can’t I get out of debt? I can’t do these things because I lack self-control. My biggest problem is me!
Perhaps you feel that your life is out of control – and maybe it is. You feel overwhelmed by your situation and circumstance. That is a scary feeling. Proverbs 25:28 says:
“Like a city that is broken into and without walls Is a man who has no control over his spirit.” Pro 25:28 (NASB)
Self-control and self-discipline are key factors in success in this life. Without self-discipline or self-control – you are unlikely to achieve anything of lasting value. The apostle Paul compared life to competing in sports. He said:
“Every man who takes part in the sports has self-control in all things. Now they do it to get a crown which is of this world, but we for an eternal crown.” 1 Co 9:25 (BBE)
Another way to say it is – “No pain, no gain”. Every fitness trainer will tell you that it takes self-discipline and self-control to be a winner. Olympic athletes train for years to have a chance to win a brief moment of glory. But the race we are running is far more important than any earthly athletic event. Self-control is not optional for Christians.
Folks here is a fact: there is no “quick and easy” way to self-control. It is a process that takes years to master. But let me suggest six steps to self-control.
1. Admit You Have A PROBLEM
The first step in developing self-control is to admit you have a problem. Your problem is – your lack of self-control. Admit your problem. James 1:13-14 says:
“Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am being tempted by God"; for God cannot be tempted by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust.” Jas 1:13-14 (NASB)
These verses tell me that the biggest problem I have – is me. I do the things I do – because I like to do it. When I do something I know is bad for me – many times I still do it because I like to do it. I want to do it. It’s an inner desire.
But the bad thing is – we often try to ignore or deny we have a problem. “Me – what problem? I don’t have a problem.” Or we often rationalize – “It’s just the way I am.” Or we might say, “Everybody else is doing it.” But sometimes we blame others – “The devil made me do it.” We do not want to admit that we have a problem. We want to play the blame game. But playing the blame game does not fix the problem.
Have you ever read this verse? It says:
“Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.” Gal 6:7 (NASB)
The starting point for developing self-control is to face the fact that a lot of our problems begin with ourselves. The first step to gaining more self-control is to admit that we have a problem – Lord I am out of control – grant me some self-control.
The second step is:
2. Put The Past BEHIND You
The second step in developing self-control – is put the past behind you. Paul says in Philippians 3:13-14:
“Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Php 3:13-14 (NASB)
This passage exposes a misconception that will keep you from gaining self-control – once a failure, always a failure.
You may say, “Oh, I tried to quite my bad habits. In fact, I have tried fifteen times. I guess I will never be able to get control of this.” That is a misconception.
Folks here is a fact – failure in the past does not mean you will never be able to change.
Focusing on past is not a good thing. It is like driving a car and looking in the rearview mirror the whole time. You are going to have a wreck because you are not paying attention to what is ahead of you. You have to put the past in the past and move ahead.
Have you watched a toddler just learning to walk? They fall down a lot – but they don’t stay down. They keep on trying and eventually they succeed. They learn to walk by persistence.
Can you image where you would be if you had given up when you fell two or three times?
“It’s hopeless. I’m a failure. I’ll never be a walker. Let’s just face it – some people are meant to walk – some people are meant to crawl. I just know I’m not meant to walk because I have tried and failed – three times.”
No! You got up and kept on trying. Do you remember how many times you fell down? No! You have forgotten. You put the past in the past. You have moved on.
It doesn’t matter how many times you have failed. Try again. Only this time try a new way – admitting you have a problem. When Thomas Edison developed the light bulb – time after time he ran into problem after problem. But he always tried again. He kept on trying. He once said, “I don’t call any of the attempts a failure – I call it an education! Now I know what doesn’t work!” Put the past behind you and move on.
Next:
3. Master Your EMOTIONS
The next step in becoming more self-controlled is to master your emotions. Challenge them.
We put far too much emphasis on our feelings today. We think everything has to feel good or it is not worthwhile.
“I don’t feel like working.” “I don’t feel like studying.” “I don’t feel like getting out of bed.” “I don’t feel like reading my Bible.” “I feel like doing nothing.” “I feel like having another drink.” “I feel like watching TV.” “I feel like sleeping until noon.” Don’t give your feelings so much authority. Feelings are highly unreliable.
Do you let your moods manipulate you? God doesn’t want you to be controlled by our feelings. He wants you to master your moods. With Christ as the Master of your life – you can learn to master your feelings. Take charge! God says he wants you to learn how to master your emotions – to learn self-control.
Titus 2:12-13 in the Message Bible says:
“We're being shown how to turn our backs on a godless, indulgent life, and how to take on a God-filled, God-honoring life. This new life is starting right now, and is whetting our appetites for the glorious day when our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, appears.” Tit 2:12
Some things we need to turn our backs on – other things we need to look forward to. Don’t let your emotions manipulate you away from what lies ahead.
Some of the greatest accomplishments in my life have happened – even though I did not feel like doing them at the time.
Master your emotions. Keep on moving toward the goal.
Then:
4. Believe You Can CHANGE
If you are going to change and become more self-controlled – you have to start believing you can change. Your beliefs do control your behavior. The seed must be planted in your mind. The way you think determines the way you feel and the way you feel determines the way you act.
The person who says, “I can’t do it,” and the person who says, “I can do it,” are both right. Your belief becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Remember Romans 12:2? I’ve mentioned it a few times in this series. It says:
“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” Rom 12:2 (NASB)
A major step in gaining self-control is changing the way you think. Be transformed – by the renewing of you mind. When your self-control is being tested – you need to fill your mind with the promises of God. Believe you can change.
Let’s look at one of God’s beautiful promises.
First Corinthians 10:13 says:
“No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.” 1 Co 10:13 (NASB)
If you are a Christian you cannot ever say, “The temptation was too strong – I couldn’t help myself.”
The Bible says God is faithful. If you are a Christian – he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.
Philippians 4:13 says:
“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”
Php 4:13 (NASB)
You can change. You can be different. Stop setting yourself up for failure by constantly criticizing yourself. Believe you can change – with the help of God.
Next:
5. Avoid TEMPTATION
The next step to gaining more self-control is plain common sense – avoid the things that tempt you. Stay away from situations that weaken your self-control. If you do not want to be stung – stay away from the bees.
Plan in advance to avoid situations that you know are going to cause temptation in your life. Don’t keep candy in the cupboard if you are trying to diet. Don’t acquire credit cards if you are an impulsive spender. Plan your life to avoid the things that weaken your self-control.
What in your life do you need to avoid? What do you need to get rid of? If you know there are things that cause you problems – stay away from them. In Ephesians chapter four says:
“Do not give the devil an opportunity.” Eph 4:27
If you know something gives you a problem – get rid of it.
A wonderful children’s book entitled “Frog and Toad Together” by Arnold Lobel teaches a powerful lesson about the insufficiency of willpower. The following is from a section called “Cookies”:
Toad baked some cookies. “These cookies smell very good,” said Toad. He ate one. “And they taste even better,” he said. Toad ran to Frog’s house. “Frog, Frog, cried Toad, “taste these cookies that I have made.”
Frog ate one of the cookies. “These are the best cookies I have ever eaten!” said Frog. Frog and Toad ate many cookies, one after another. “You know, Toad,” said Frog with his mouth full, “I think we should stop eating. We will soon be sick.”
“You are right,” said Toad. “Let’s eat one last cookie, and then we will stop.” Frog and Toad ate one last cookie. There were many cookies left in the bowl. “Frog,” said Toad, “let’s eat one very last cookie and then we will stop.” Frog and Toad ate one very last cookie. “We must stop eating,” cried Toad as he ate another.
“Yes,” said Frog, reaching for a cookie, “we need will power.”
“What is will power?” asked Toad.
“Will power is trying hard not to do something that you really want to do.”
“You mean like trying not to eat all of those cookies?” asked Toad.
“Right,” said Frog. Frog put the cookies in a box. “There,” he said. “Now we won’t eat any more cookies.”
“But we can open the box,” said Toad.
“That is true,” said Frog. Frog tied some string around the box. “There,” he said. “Now we will not eat any more cookies.”
“But we can cut the string and open the box,” said Toad.
“That is true,” said Frog. Frog got a ladder. He put the box up on a high shelf. “There,” said Frog. “Now we will not eat any more cookies.”
“But we can climb the ladder and take the box down from the shelf and cut the sting and open the box,” said Toad.
“That is true,” said Frog. Frog climbed the ladder and took the box down from the self. He cut the sting and opened the box. Frog took the box outside. He shouted in a large, loud voice, “Hey, Birds, Here are cookies.” Birds come from everywhere. They picked up all the cookies in their beaks and flew away.
“Now we have no more cookies to eat,” said Toad sadly. “Not even one.”
“Yes,” said Frog, “but we have lots and lots of will power!”
“You may keep it all, Frog,” said Toad, “I’m going home to bake a cake.”*
Toad’s willpower – his self-control is about as strong as many of us!
What do you need to avoid? You know what tempts you. Self-control involves – avoiding temptation.
And finally:
6. Depend On Christ’s POWER
If you want to develop self-control, learn to depend on Christ’s power to help you. Galatians 5:16 says:
“Walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.” Gal 5:16 (NASB)
The Contemporary English Version says it this way:
“If you are guided by the Spirit, you won't obey your selfish desires.” Gal 5:16 (CEV)
The sequence in this sentence is very important. Let the Spirit guide your life – that’s the first part – and you will not obey your selfish desires. Notice – it does not say you won’t have those desires. Spirit-filled people are still going to have the desires of the flesh. It’s just that they won’t satisfy them.
We usually get the sequence backward. What we usually say is, “I am not good enough to have God’s Spirit in my life. I am not worthy to have him direct me. My life is a mess. Once I get my act together – I am going to really live for him. I am going to let the Holy Spirit control my life.”
But that’s not the sequence. God doesn’t say, “Get your act together and then I will help you.” Rather – he says, “Let me into your life. Follow the Holy Spirit while you are struggling with the problem. Then I will help you change.” The sequence makes all the difference.
What would you think if I said, “I am going to get well first – then I am going to go see the doctor.” You would say I was crazy. It is a ridiculous idea. But we do that many times with our spiritual lives. We try to fix ourselves first instead of coming to God who can fix us. He has the power to change us. You don’t need to try to change yourself – you just need to trust God. He is in the life change business. That is what he does.
Philippians 2:13 says:
“It is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.” Php 2:13 (NASB)
The secret of self-control is Christ’s control. If you have not yet done so ask him to take control of your life right now. Then, as you face temptations that are too strong for you to resist, remember that he is with you and turn them over to him. Remember, Christ provides the power to change your life.
*Arnold Lobe, “Frog and Toad Together” (New York: Harper & Row, 1979)
(I want to thank Rick Warren for the sermon starter ideas.)
