At the 2017 UN Commission on the Status of Women (CSW), language was introduced into the Agreed Conclusions document that labels “unpaid care work” (including the work of mothers) as a “burden” that should be eliminated through “recognizing, reducing, and redistributing,” including through “National Care Systems” (That is: government-sponsored daycare). While childcare can be a great help to those who need it, claiming that the government is a better parent than a stay-at-home mother is degrading to women. Not only that, but it is simply not true. And while some feminists proudly support this claim, what they do not realize is that it actually disempowers women. The anti-motherhood movement says that women who choose to stay home have no value, because daycare could do a better job raising their children. According to them, by staying home these women are failing to contribute to society. Motherhood is tough enough without the added struggle to even justify the role itself. (http://www.citizengo.org/en/fm/57355-empowermothers-tell-un-motherhood-not-burden)
Rebekah, as recorded in Genesis 25, struggled with infertility, family conflict and the future for her boys Esau and Jacob. Starting from the point of God’s apparent abandonment, well beyond her child bearing years, she wondered how God would fulfill His promises to her family. Even when God did seem to grant her prayers that her husband brought before God, God did so, in a way that seemed to just bring more trouble. So much trouble that she wondered why this was all happening to her. God’s answer to her plight only seemed to bring more confusion. Her story is a story of struggle, faith and mistakes. It is such a real story that we can see ourselves in the struggle.
Rebekah’s story should cause us to ask real and tough questions of ourselves. How do we properly respond when things don’t seem to be progressing? What do we do when difficulties only seem to get worse? How do we learn from past mistakes, and what do we do to avoid falling into the same trap? Rebekah’s story shows the reality of motherhood in all its struggles, conflict and pain. But it is a story of God’s faithfulness even when everything seems to be going wrong. It should direct us, encourage us and cause us all to be awed in the wisdom, workings and majesty of God.
Rebekah the Mother of Esau and Jacob, is a lesson in struggling through:
1) A disappointed home (Genesis 25:19-21), 2) A distressed home (Genesis 25:22–23) and 3) A divided home (Genesis 25:24–28).
Rebekah the Mother of Esau and Jacob, is a lesson in struggling through:
1) A Disappointed home (Genesis 25:19–21).
Genesis 25:19–21 19 These are the generations of Isaac, Abraham’s son: Abraham fathered Isaac, 20 and Isaac was forty years old when he took Rebekah, the daughter of Bethuel the Aramean of Paddan-aram, the sister of Laban the Aramean, to be his wife. 21 And Isaac prayed to the LORD for his wife, because she was barren. And the LORD granted his prayer, and Rebekah his wife conceived. (ESV)
Barrenness in those days was a real reproach for the couple but especially for the woman. And for Isaac and Rebekah it was also a real test of their faith, for God had promised Isaac that the promised seed (Christ the Messiah would come through him [Genesis 21:12]), but without any children that promise seemed impossible to fulfill. (Butler, J. G. (2008). Analytical Bible Expositor: Genesis (p. 238). Clinton, IA: LBC Publications.)
• Life is often full of disappointments. But it is faithfulness through these challenges that the Glory of God shines. Real faith is not getting everything we want when we want it, but trusting God to give us what is good, in His timing. The faith of Rebekah stands as an example of perseverance through temporal disappointment.
The reference in verse 20 to ‘Bethuel’, the father of Rebekah and Laban (25:20), takes us back to Isaac’s marriage to Rebekah and prepares us for the account of Jacob’s journey to Padan Aram. Isaac was forty when he took/married Rebekah. According to the rabbis, men normally took a wife/married before they were twenty. Verse 26 gives us the added detail that Isaac was ‘sixty years old’ when his wife first gave birth (25:26). Not only did he marry twenty years later than most men, but he was married for twenty years before they had children.
• The statistical trend is for people to have children later in life. Although there are biological challenges to this decision, the Story of Rebekah is that Motherhood can indeed be rewarding even in the later years of life.
Rebekah had left her father’s home with the blessing of having many children ringing in her ears (24:60). It was a miserable position for any woman from the ancient Near East to be in; how much more so for people who believed the divine promises concerning many descendants! This is almost a rerun of the problem that confronted Abraham and Sarah. Isaac and Rebekah could have gone in for the ancient equivalent of surrogate motherhood, but they did not. Isaac may appear to have been a rather passive figure, but in his favour it must be said that he did not make the mistake of his parents. He did not seek to force God’s hand. It was a real test of faith as the years went by and they remained childless. In carrying forward his plans God also trains his people. His apparent delays are for their good. The husband and wife may have been specially selected to be participants in the program for God’s chosen people, but they had to wait for God to open the womb.( Redford, D. (2008). The Pentateuch (Vol. 1, p. 102). Cincinnati, OH: Standard Publishing.)
• Mother’s Day can be difficult for those who perhaps have lost a child or are still waiting for a child. The story of Rebekah is not that God guarantees children, but that His apparent delay has a purpose. He will bless those who faithfully wait on Him.
Isaac and Rebekah waited twenty years for a family, but no children came. The entire Book of Genesis emphasizes the sovereignty of God and the wisdom of His “delays.” Abraham and Sarah had to wait twenty-five years for Isaac to be born; Jacob had to labor fourteen years to obtain his two wives; and Joseph had to wait over twenty years before he was reconciled to his brothers. Our times are in His hands (Ps. 31:15), and His timing is never wrong.
Please turn to Genesis 12 (p.8)
Like Abraham, verse 21 notes that Isaac was a man of prayer; so he interceded with the Lord on behalf of his barren wife. Isaac had every right to ask God for children because of the covenant promises the Lord had made to his father and mother, promises Isaac had heard repeated in the family circle and that he believed.
• Apply the passage at this point, particularly if you are going through a barren period or are not prospering. Has your career reached a dead end? Has it been years since God moved in your life in any dramatic way? Have you been left behind while others have surged ahead? This does not mean that God has abandoned you, or even that you are less well off than others. God is teaching you to depend on him. He is showing you that he is more interested in what is happening inside you than what is happening around you (Boice, J. M. (1998). Genesis: an expositional commentary (p. 732). Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books.).
In terms of the promises of God, in Genesis 25, if Rebekah remained barren, how could Abraham’s seed multiply as the dust of the earth and the stars of the heavens? How could Abraham’s seed become a blessing to the whole world? (Gen. 12:1–3; 13:16; 15:5; 17:6) It has well been said that the purpose of prayer is not to get our will done in heaven but to get God’s will done on earth. Even though every Jewish couple wanted children. Confronted by 20 years of his wife’s barrenness (vv. 19, 26), Isaac rose to the test and earnestly turned to God in prayer, obviously acknowledging thereby God’s involvement and timing in the seed-promise (MacArthur, J., Jr. (Ed.). (1997). The MacArthur Study Bible (electronic ed., p. 50). Nashville, TN: Word Pub.).
Genesis 12:1-3 Now the LORD said to Abram, “Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you. 2 And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. 3 I will bless those who bless you, and him who dishonors you I will curse, and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.” (ESV)
Isaac wasn’t praying selfishly. He was concerned about God’s plan for fulfilling His covenant and blessing the whole world through the promised Messiah (Gen. 3:15; 12:1–3). True prayer means being concerned about God’s will, not our own wants, and claiming God’s promises in the Word.
• The strength of a godly mother is enabled in encouraging prayer on her behalf. The strength of a mother is not in how much she can bear, but in how much she surrenders. She often will willingly surrender her time and energy but finds it hardest to surrender her burdens. God has designed the family to encourage others to intercede. The most effective intercession is to petition God to be faithful to His promises. He delights in showing how His will is not accomplished by the most capable, or busy, but by the most submissive to Him and His plan.
The Lord granted/answered Isaac’s prayer and enabled Rebekah to conceive. God uses our prayers to fulfil his purposes. In salvation history, the conception and birth of children is a divinely ordained event that has significant consequences. This was true of the birth of Isaac (chaps. 18, 21), the twelve sons of Jacob (29:30–30:24), Moses (Ex. 1), Samuel (1 Sam. 1–2), David (Ruth 4:17–22), and our Lord Jesus Christ (Gal. 4:4–5). Conception, birth, and death are divine appointments, not human accidents, a part of God’s wise and loving plan for His own people (Pss. 116:15; 139:13–16). Just as God orchestrated Isaac’s own conception and birth, so also the conception and birth of Isaac’s sons will be possible only through divine (action) (Barry, J. D., Mangum, D., Brown, D. R., Heiser, M. S., Custis, M., Ritzema, E., … Bomar, D. (2012, 2016). Faithlife Study Bible (Ge 25:21). Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press.). The people of God do not exist by natural birth but are born of the Spirit. They exist because God brought them into existence as his people.( Ross, A. P. (1998). Creation and blessing: a guide to the study and exposition of Genesis (p. 438). Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books.)
Illustration: The Spiritual Impact of a Mother
A London editor submitted to Winston Churchill for his approval a list of all those who had been Churchill’s teachers. Churchill returned the list with this comment: “You have omitted to mention the greatest of my teachers—my mother.”914(Michael P. Green. (2000). 1500 illustrations for biblical preaching (p. 251). Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books.)
It is not uncommon to find behind the greatest men, a mother who had a direct, life changing impact on her son guiding his spiritual development to become a man who changed the world.
Rebekah the Mother of Esau and Jacob, is a lesson in struggling through:
2) A distressed home (Genesis 25:22–23).
Genesis 25:22–23 22 The children struggled together within her, and she said, “If it is thus, why is this happening to me?” So she went to inquire of the LORD. 23 And the LORD said to her, “Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you shall be divided; the one shall be stronger than the other, the older shall serve the younger.” (ESV)
One problem soon led to another, because Rebekah’s pregnancy was a difficult one: The babies in her womb struggled together within her. The Hebrew word means “to crush or oppress,” suggesting that the fetal movements were not normal. The pregnancy is so painful that she wonders if there is any point going on living. After they had grown up, Rebekah had similar thoughts (27:46; cf. Job). “What a unique conflict we have here! A conflict of twins which rages even in the womb and so vehemently that their mother is driven to despair. ‘Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity’ a psalmist says, but to Jacob and Esau any room is too small when they are together. Their first battlefield is their mother’s womb. How cruelly the sweet expectations of children, the greater after twenty years of hope and despair, are dashed for Isaac and Rebekah! As early as the pregnancy their parental happiness is threatened. ‘What shall I do’ Rebekah wonders in despair” (Wenham, G. J. (1998). Genesis 16–50 (Vol. 2, p. 175). Dallas: Word, Incorporated.).
• Sometimes people will tell expectant mothers that this is a great time of hope and anticipation. But the reality can mean financial worries, anxiety considering if they are up to the task, or medical complications. There is no one better than a mother that has gone through it to not scare expectant mothers, but help them through the realities of what is going on. Simplistic assurances do little to alleviate the burdens.
Since Rebekah wondered if the Lord was trying to say something to her, she went to inquire. Isaac was blessed to have a wife who not only knew how to pray but who also wanted to understand God’s will for herself and her children. The struggle was a particularly unpleasant and painful experience, so that Rebekah cried out in anguish, ‘If this is thus/If all is well, why is this happening to me/why am I this way?’ Her words suggest that she began to despair of life. The initial joy of realizing they were to have a child had been turned into despair. This was not what they expected.
Sometimes God’s answers are not what we imagined and we begin to wonder what God is doing. It throws us back on the Lord. This is what Rebekah did. ‘She went to enquire of the LORD’ (25:22) and He indicated in verse 23, what was happening in her womb. 23 And the LORD said to her, “Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you shall be divided; the one shall be stronger than the other, the older shall serve the younger.” The first part of the oracle emphasized the promises made to Abraham (Gen. 17:16). Knowing what was happening inside her would have helped her to bear the discomfort with more fortitude. But imagine Rebekah’s surprise when she learned that the two children would struggle with each other all their lives! Each child would produce a nation, and these two nations (Edom and Israel) would compete, but the younger would master the older. Israelites and Arabs basically comprise the two nations. The fact that two nations were predicted would delight Rebekah, for it said indirectly that her boys would have many descendants (Butler, J. G. (2008). Analytical Bible Expositor: Genesis (p. 240). Clinton, IA: LBC Publications.).
Just as God had chosen Isaac, the second-born, and not Ishmael, the firstborn, so He choose Jacob, the second-born, and not Esau, the firstborn. God’s choice of Jacob (the younger) over Esau (the older) is a paradigmatic example of divine sovereign election (Rom. 9:9–13, 18–23). God deals justly with all, but He has mercy on some (Matt. 20:1–16) (Whitlock, L. G., Sproul, R. C., Waltke, B. K., & Silva, M. (1995). The Reformation study Bible: bringing the light of the Reformation to Scripture: New King James Version (Ge 25:23). Nashville: T. Nelson.)
Please turn to Romans 9 (p.945)
As for the choice of the younger over the older, another biblical principle shines out. God’s blessings are not by natural right. Membership of God’s family is not due to any claims we may think we have on God. It is due solely to God’s grace. Paul uses this passage in Romans 9:10–13 when discussing the purposes of God in election.
Romans 9:6–16 6 But it is not as though the word of God has failed. For not all who are descended from Israel belong to Israel, 7 and not all are children of Abraham because they are his offspring, but “Through Isaac shall your offspring be named.” 8 This means that it is not the children of the flesh who are the children of God, but the children of the promise are counted as offspring. 9 For this is what the promise said: “About this time next year I will return, and Sarah shall have a son.” 10 And not only so, but also when Rebekah had conceived children by one man, our forefather Isaac, 11 though they were not yet born and had done nothing either good or bad—in order that God’s purpose of election might continue, not because of works but because of him who calls— 12 she was told, “The older will serve the younger.” 13 As it is written, “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.” 14 What shall we say then? Is there injustice on God’s part? By no means! 15 For he says to Moses, “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.” 16 So then it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy. (ESV)
• Unlike Ishmael and Isaac, Esau and Jacob were twins, having the same mother and father. Yet, despite the fact that Esau came out of the womb first, God bypassed Esau and chose Jacob. Paul refers to Genesis 25 in his epistle to the Romans, to illustrate the truth that God’s election is an election of grace (v.11, 12). The fact that back in eternity God chose us as his dear children, before we had done anything good or bad, before we were ever born or had come to faith, is traceable only to the grace of God (Jeske, J. C. (2001). Genesis (2nd ed., p. 212). Milwaukee, WI: Northwestern Pub. House.).
Illustration: Years ago, a mother was walking across the hills of southern Wales carrying her baby when she was overtaken by a blizzard. When the storm subsided, her body was found beneath a mound of snow. Before she died, however, she had taken off all her outer clothing and wrapped it around her baby. When unwrapped, the baby boy was found alive and well. Years later, that child, David Lloyd George, became the prime minister of Great Britain and one of England’s greatest statesmen. (J. John and Mark Stibbe, A Box of Delights (Kregel, 2001)
There are so many that see motherhood as giving up your life. But the service of one’s life in the fulfillment of God’s promises, epitomizes the Kingdom of God and is a beautiful picture of grace. Those who joyful fully serve as mothers show the world of the greatness that can be accomplished in the service of another.
Finally, Rebekah the Mother of Esau and Jacob, is a lesson in struggling through:
3) A divided home (Genesis 25:24–28).
Genesis 25:24–28 24 When her days to give birth were completed, behold, there were twins in her womb. 25 The first came out red, all his body like a hairy cloak, so they called his name Esau. 26 Afterward his brother came out with his hand holding Esau’s heel, so his name was called Jacob. Isaac was sixty years old when she bore them. 27 When the boys grew up, Esau was a skillful hunter, a man of the field, while Jacob was a quiet man, dwelling in tents. 28 Isaac loved Esau because he ate of his game, but Rebekah loved Jacob. (ESV)
When Rebekah gave birth the prophecy was confirmed: ‘Behold/Indeed there were twins in her womb’ (25:24). Esau and Jacob were born ca. 2005 B.C.( MacArthur, J., Jr. (Ed.). (1997). The MacArthur Study Bible (electronic ed., p. 50). Nashville, TN: Word Pub.)
The way they were born prepared for all that was to follow in verse 25. The first came out red, all his body like a hairy cloak, so they called his name Esau. This information is important for what happened later (27:11). The reference to his coming out ‘red’ points us towards Esau’s other name, ‘Edom’, which sounds like the word for ‘reddish’ (25:25). Esau probably means “hairy.” He also had the nickname “Edom,” which means “red,” referring to his red hair and the red lentil soup Jacob sold him (vv. 25, 30).
His twin brother came out with his hand holding/clutching Esau’s heel (25:26). The names of the two boys were given for birth reasons. While Esau was named after his appearance, Jacob was named after his action. Esau, which means “hairy,” was given because of Esau’s appearance when he was born. Jacob means “heal-gripper.” This describes one tripping up another, a “supplanter” which Esau later called Jacob (Genesis 27:36) (Butler, J. G. (2008). Analytical Bible Expositor: Genesis (p. 240). Clinton, IA: LBC Publications.).
As verse 27 indicates, Esau was an out-of-doors person—‘a man of the field’. His home was in the uncultivated areas, with the wild animals. ‘Esau was a skilful hunter’, a man of adventure, who got his excitement from hunting down food in the wild. Jacob was quite the opposite. He remained in and around the campsite, in the cultivated part, with the domesticated animals. That Jacob was described as a quiet man, may suggest that Jacob was a more self-contained character than his brother. Whereas Esau needed the open countryside to gain satisfaction and ‘a kick out of life’, Jacob was more placid and level-headed. The name “Jacob” comes from a Hebrew word (yaaqob) that means “may God protect”; but because it sounds like the words aqeb (“heel”) and aqab (“watch from behind” or “overtake”), his name became a nickname: “he grasps the heel” or “he deceives.” Before birth, Jacob and Esau had contended; and at birth, Jacob grasped his brother’s heel. This latter action was interpreted to mean that Jacob would trip up his brother and take advantage of him. The prediction proved true.
This description of the two young men becomes symbolic of their spiritual state. It suggests that Jacob belonged to the people of God whereas Esau did not. The Garden of Eden was separated off from the uncultivated, open field where the non-domesticated animals roamed. Later, the tents of the Israelite camp were separated off from the unclean, open area outside the camp. Jacob belonged with his people in the camp, ‘dwelling in tents’, but Esau belonged outside. Jacob, like Abraham and Isaac, ‘sojourned in the land of promise … dwelling in tents’ (Heb. 11:9). The fact that God had already determined to give the covenant blessings to Jacob didn’t absolve anybody in the family from their obligations to the Lord. They were all responsible for their actions, because divine sovereignty doesn’t destroy human responsibility. In fact, knowing that we’re the chosen of God means we have a greater responsibility to do His will. Unlike Esau, Jacob became a man of faith. God’s promises meant more to him than physical pleasures.
• Although there are some who are physically unable to bear children, or their spouse does not want children, it must be said that the vast majority of women today who refuse to bear children do so for purely selfish reasons. They fear that kids will get in the way of career ambitions, financial freedom or lifestyle. A mother that God honors seeks to fulfill the dominion mandate to “be fruitful and multiply”.
Up to this moment, everything we have read about Isaac has been positive. He appears a perfect gentleman and a spiritually-minded man who waited on the Lord until his prayers were answered. But the best of gentlemen are sinners and here we are told of one of his weaknesses in verse 28, which clouded his thinking and spiritual discernment: ‘Isaac loved Esau because he ate of his game’ (25:28). Isaac was not content with lamb, goat or beef. He liked the taste of the wild meat that Esau brought him. Isaac’s love of exotic foods made Esau his favourite son and he no doubt made excuses for his undisciplined lifestyle. His love of Esau made him oblivious to his spiritual condition.
No reason is given why ‘Rebekah loved Jacob’. It may have been because he was around the camp more than his brother. On the other hand, it may have been because Jacob was more interested in the promises that God had made to his father and grandfather. Here were two unwise parents who helped fuel the problems that already existed and which would increase between Esau and Jacob. It is a warning to parents not to have favourites. Treat your children fairly. Take care that some attractive quality in one child does not cloud your mind and prevent you from treating all your children equally.
Please turn to Luke 20 (p.879)
It happens too often that the mother will take a liking to one child and the father to another. This does not encourage family harmony and spiritual growth. Concern for the things of God, and putting the welfare of others, specifically our children, first, reflects the nature of Christ.
Even the enemies of Jesus knew this of Him:
Luke 20:20–26 20 So they watched him and sent spies, who pretended to be sincere, that they might catch him in something he said, so as to deliver him up to the authority and jurisdiction of the governor. 21 So they asked him, “Teacher, we know that you speak and teach rightly, and show no partiality, but truly teach the way of God. 22 Is it lawful for us to give tribute to Caesar, or not?” 23 But he perceived their craftiness, and said to them, 24 “Show me a denarius. Whose likeness and inscription does it have?” They said, “Caesar’s.” 25 He said to them, “Then render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.” 26 And they were not able in the presence of the people to catch him in what he said, but marveling at his answer they became silent. (ESV)
• Jesus was able to detect the insincere compliment in verse 21.
Although it was true, this flattery was an attempt to deceive him. Children need our honesty and love. They need to discern an insincere attempt at flattery. That is why, to their question, Jesus adds a more important command: people should give to God that which bears his image and likeness, namely, themselves (cf. note on Rom. 12:1). (Crossway Bibles. (2008). The ESV Study Bible (p. 2001). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles.)
• Showing favouritism, in one child over another, sets that child up to fail. When they are concerned with God’s esteem over their self-esteem, then their focus both protects them and sets them up to be truly used by God.
Godly mothers can have a tremendous impact on a child’s holiness, but the story of Rebekah, the mother of Easu and Jacob is a warning of partiality and preference in the midst of a home of struggle. It is not a story of defeat, but of faith. Through their prayers and confidence in God, they saw God fulfill His promises. The lesson from Rebekah is a lesson for us all: keep the faith regardless of the struggle. God will fulfill His promises in His way and in His timing.
(Format note: Outline from Wiersbe, W. W. (1997). Be authentic (pp. 11–15). Colorado Springs, CO: Chariot Victor Pub. Some base commentary from Eveson, P. H. (2001). The Book of Origins: Genesis Simply Explained (pp. 383–384). Darlington, England: Evangelical Press.)
