THE GRACE FOR FORGIVENESS
Study Text: Matthew 18:21-22
Introduction:
- After listening to Jesus’ teaching on reconciliation, unity, restoration and forgiveness, Peter asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”
- Peter thought seven times would be very generous. He expected to be commended for his gracious attitude. Jesus’ answer surprised Peter. Peter’s problem was that he was still thinking in terms of justice and legality.
- Jesus’ reply was not based on law and justice, but based on the gospel of grace. “Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times,'” (Matt. 18:22) meaning without limit!
- You see a lot of ugliness in life from an unwillingness to forgive. When we can’t or won’t forgive each other relationships are destroyed more and more as time passes.
- Husbands and wives who won’t forgive, find the marriage drifting apart more and more. They might live under the same roof but there is no love. There’s hardly communication. And when they do communicate, it’s usually more fuel on the fire.
- People who won’t forgive wrongs done in the workplace grow increasingly bitter. They resent the employee or employer who wronged them. And that grows into bitterness that clouds our vision so we can’t be objective anymore.
- Is it any wonder that God tells his people to forgive one another. He loves us too much to want us to go down the destructive road of unforgiveness. That’s why he gives us a call to forgive.
- Our inability to forgive takes a huge toll on us emotional which not only causes us to suffer but it strains every relationship we have. We may think that the only relationship that suffers is the one with the person who has offended us, but that is not true. When we are unwilling to forgive, bitterness and anger spills over into every other relationship in our lives – including our relationship with God.
- On a spiritual level, not being willing to forgive others has a huge effect on us because it breaks down our ability to connect with God. Earlier in Matthew, Jesus said that if we are not willing to forgive others, then God is not willing to forgive us. Matthew 6:15.
- Without God’s forgiveness and grace flowing into our lives, our spiritual lives stop growing and begins to decline. The longer we hold that grudge the farther away from God we move.
- Over time, an unforgiving spirit not only poisons every relationship but every part of our lives. It destroys us. We think not forgiving someone will not have any negative effect on us but hurt the other person but the truth is that many times the other person doesn’t even know we are holding a grudge so they are fine, but we are the ones slowly dying because of the stress, depression and spiritual isolation that our un-forgiveness creates.
- We must be willing to forgive others at all times and be willing to seek forgiveness when we wronged
- We shall discuss the topic under three sub-headings:
1. The Pathway to Forgiveness
2. The Parable on Forgiveness
3. The Practice of Forgiveness
1. The Pathway to Forgiveness
- We need to stop thinking about how often we need to forgive others and remember why Jesus tells us to forgive.
- We need to forgive because it is the only way we will be healthy in body, mind and spirit.
- In Luke 17:3-4, Jesus likewise taught, “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.”
- Again, the disciples were surprised and said, “Increase our faith!” (Luke 17:5). This is proper. Only when we grow in grace and the knowledge of Christ, and increase in faith, will we also increase in forgiveness and mercy. Then we will understand that we live every moment of our lives, not on the basis of justice, but on the basis of mercy received from heaven.
- Justice would have sent us to hell. How soon Christians forget and begin to act on the basis of law and justice! We need greater faith, greater love for God and greater appreciation of God’s grace, in order that we may rise to this level of practicing unlimited forgiveness to our brothers and sisters.
- The following steps will lead to true and lasting forgiveness:
i. Seek to understand.
- What is it that shapes the other person’s heart and life. Many people hurt or offend others because there is some unresolved hurt or pain in their lives. Many times there are clear reasons why people have hurt us and when we seek to understand them it opens the door to forgiveness.
ii. Pray for the person.
- We don’t pray for their destruction or downfall and we don’t pray that they come to their senses and apologize to us, we pray for their heart and soul. We pray that God heals their spirits and blesses their lives in some way that restores relationships.
- We also might need to pray to understand them better and pray that God opens our hearts to forgiveness regardless of what the other person does.
iii. Look for the best in them.
Most of the time when we feel hurt or offended our first reaction is to get defensive and assume the worst in them. We assume they intended to hurt us and maybe even planned and plotted to harm us. Those assumptions poison our heart and life and many times they may not even be true.
- So instead of assuming the worst in others, assume the best. Assume they were having a bad day when they were short. Assume they were not feeling well or were stressed over some other issue when they lashed out.
- When we assume the best in people it helps us see them in a different light. It helps us see not only their value and worth but it helps us see them as children of God who also need support and love. Assuming the best can defuse a difficult situation and open the door to forgiveness.
iv. Remember our own sin.
- When we stop and remember all the things we have done wrong and all the times we have offended others and all the ways God has forgiven us and others have forgiven us, it begins to change our perspective. Jesus tells a story that illustrates this point in Matthew 18:23-33.
- The problem with the servant who was unwilling to forgive was that he had forgotten all that he had been forgiven of. When we remember our own sin and all the ways that other people forgive our offenses and failures it helps us offer forgiveness and grace to others.
- Some Questions about Forgiveness
i. When we forgive others are we condoning their sin?
- Does forgiveness mean that we are saying their sin or offenses are not that bad – or not bad at all. Clearly the answer to this is no. Forgiveness is not approving of people’s words or actions it is letting go of our right to seek retribution and revenge.
- God’s forgiveness of us doesn’t mean that God approves of what we have done, I think our sin causes God real hurt and pain, but God chooses to let go of his right to seek revenge.
- It is important for us to make sure we say to ourselves that the offense we have experienced is real and that many times it causes genuine pain and hurt and that forgiveness doesn’t excuse their behaviour, we are just making the choice to let it go and not seek retaliation.
ii. Does forgiveness mean that there will be no consequences or punishment for wrong doing?
- Forgiveness doesn’t mean that we excuse people’s actions and behaviors it just means that we let go of the anger and resentment toward others.
- Forgiveness doesn’t mean we let them go free, but we can let go of our anger and any desire we have to see the complete destruction of those who have harmed us.
- This doesn’t come easily or quickly – but as we seek to understand and pray – our hearts and minds can change.
iii. Are we supposed to forgive people even when they don’t ask for it?
- When Jesus was hanging on the cross he looked out and said, Father forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing. Jesus forgave the Roman soldiers who nailed him to the cross.
- Jesus forgave his disciples who had failed him; the religious leaders who had given him an unjust trial and the crowd that turned again him. Jesus forgave all those gathered there that day before anyone asked. So, yes, we need to learn to forgive people before they ask for it.
- The truth is that we need to learn to forgive people whether they ask for us to forgive them or not because if we don’t we continue to poison our hearts and lives.
- But there is another reason we should forgive others before they ask, sometimes it is our forgiveness that can bring them to a place of repentance. When we offer forgiveness before others ask or even know they need it, it can change their hearts and lives as well.
- Four Reasons to extend forgiveness even when not asked
1.) The person may not know they wronged you or what the problem is
2.) The person may no longer have contact with you
3.) The situation continues to hurt you until you let it go
4) You open yourself for further sin – anger, bitterness and resentment
iv. How can we forgive our enemies?
- In Christ, you can forgive–no matter what has been done to you. If you’re easily offended or there’s a person in your life who just annoys you, not only do you have to decide to forgive and live in peace, but you are going to have to depend on God for the grace to do it and make it a matter of prayer.
2. The Parable on Forgiveness
- To drive home his teaching about unlimited forgiveness, Jesus told a parable to his disciples. (Matt. 18:23-35)
- There was a king, representing the King of heaven, to whom people owed great debts. A man who owed 10,000 talents was brought before him. The words used to describe this debt demonstrated its enormity.
- The idea is this: that this man’s debt was infinite, and he was absolutely incapable of paying it. In the same way, the debt we owe God is of infinite proportion.
- This man could not pay up, and the great king commanded that the servant, his wife, his children, and all he owned be sold to cover the debt. The man fell down before the king. “‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.'” (Matt. 18:26)
- Of course, he could not do that. It was impossible, and the king knew it. We are told, though, that the king was moved with compassion to release the man and forgive him all his debt. The man was free! He owed absolutely nothing. Through the king’s great mercy alone, he was forgiven his infinite debt.
- But in Matthew 18:28 we see the forgiven man looking for a fellow servant who owed him 100 denarii. Compared to his own infinite debt, this was nothing! But when he found the man, he grabbed him, choked him and demanded his money.
- This other man also fell down and begged for patience. But the forgiven servant was not moved by any kind of compassion. His heart had not been changed in any way by his master’s merciful actions. Even though the debt was comparatively nothing, he showed no mercy and threw the man into prison until the debt could be paid.
- The great king was told about this wretched man’s cruel behaviour. “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I cancelled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?'”
- Then the master dealt with the unforgiving man according to law instead of mercy. “In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.” That represents eternal hell.
- Then Jesus made this stunning declaration: “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.” (Matt. 18:32-35) In effect, Jesus answered Peter’s question: “You have received unlimited mercy from God through me; therefore, you must demonstrate unlimited mercy.”
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3. The Practice of Forgiveness
- How can we put this teaching about forgiveness into practice?
i. You must experience it yourself.
- If you have never received God’s forgiveness, you will not be able to understand what it means and how to carry it out.
ii. Develop a heart for forgiveness.
- If you are a Christian, always demonstrate a spirit of forgiveness toward all; this will happen if you value Christ’s death on your behalf.
- A truly forgiven person is always thinking about the cross of Jesus Christ, upon which God displayed his infinite love. We cannot understand the length or the width or the height or the depth of it. This love is absolutely incomprehensible!
iii. Trust God for the Grace
- Forgiveness is difficult to practice especially when one is greatly hurt or disappointed. We cannot forgive by our power, but must trust God for the grace to do so. Phil 4:13.
