Matthew 23:1-12
The Source of Self-worth
Do you ever wonder why some people are such jerks? Sometimes people can be so cruel to others! And yet, behind the facade of the bully lies a deep insecurity, a fear of rejection.
Our bookstores are full of books about self-worth. I did a quick search on Amazon and came up with over 7,000 titles. There’s even a coloring book for adults to improve confidence and self-worth. I’m thinking of buying it. No, not really. Maybe the Bible has something to say about where we get our self-worth.
In today’s scripture, Jesus addresses the crowd, along with his 12 disciples, and he says where NOT to get your self-worth, and then where to GET your self-worth. He begins with three sources that will not work in the long run. First, he says ...
1. Don’t live hypocritically.
He says, in verses 2 and 3, “The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. So you must be careful to do everything they tell you. But DO NOT DO WHAT THEY DO, for they do not practice what they preach.” In other words, “Do what I say, not what I do.” If only that worked in parenting! But it doesn’t. Kids see right through it, and Jesus saw right through these religious leaders’ hypocritical lifestyles. When he says, “They sit in Moses’ seat,” he is referring to the seat of honor in the Synagogue, right up next to the sacred scrolls. It conveys authority, as they carry on the teachings of the great prophet Moses. It’s kind of like a university professor in an endowed chair. Jesus says, “These guys TEACH accurately; they just don’t LIVE accurately.”
James 1:22-25 talks about this when it says, “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. DO WHAT IT SAYS. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.”
I just finished a John Grisham novel where three drop-out law students pretended to be licensed lawyers. For a while all went well, but eventually the truth caught up to them. You can pretend to be somebody you’re not, but someone at some point will see through it. Don’t act. It’s not worth it. You may puff up your pride temporarily, but when you’re found out, it will hurt in the end. So don’t live hypocritically, and ...
2. Don’t put others down.
Jesus talks more about the teachers of the law and the Pharisees in verse 4. He says, “They tie up heavy, cumbersome loads and put them on other people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.” Jesus is not talking about physical loads here. He’s talking about the mental, emotional, and spiritual load of legalism, of expecting someone to be perfect, to always get it right, and then publicly condemning them when they don’t. The Pharisees pretended to be perfect and they loaded up their followers with unrealistic expectations. There was no room for failure. People were busy following rules that they never had time for a relationship with God. And their religious leaders showed them no compassion.
Now we all do this to some degree. Each of us has our own set of unspoken rules, what God approves of and what God disapproves of, and we forget that Christianity is about relationship more than rules. We think, “If you act this way and do this, then God will love you more.” When the truth is, God already loves you completely! Nothing will add to or take away from that already perfect love he has for you. As a “recovering Baptist,” I was raised with the unofficial creed: “I will never smoke, drink, or chew, or kiss the girls who do.” That’s pretty good advice ... but not really. It misses out on grace. Do you know why Baptists are against pre-marital sex? Because it might lead to dancing! I told you before, we couldn’t dance, growing up. It was never written down anywhere. It was just an unspoken rule, that Baptists don’t dance. You might wiggle just a little, but only in worship. That’s called the “Baptist bump.” In my small town growing up, if the teens wanted to dance, we had to walk down the block to the Methodist church, because they had all the fun. And so we did. Rules, rules, rules. We all have them.
And we like to impose our rules on others. Have you noticed that the things you judge others on sometimes trace back to your own insecurities? We think that putting others down will make us feel better about ourselves. Don’t do it! That is NOT healthy self-esteem.
Don’t live hypocritically and don’t put others down. And lastly,
3. Don’t seek attention.
Jesus spends half of today’s passage giving examples of how religious people back then sought attention. He says, in verse 5, “Everything they do is done for people to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long.” A phylactery is a little leather box that holds four scriptures from Exodus and Deuteronomy. Jewish men would strap it to their forehead or wrist. The idea began with the Passover event in the history of Israel. Exodus 13:9 says, “This observance will be for you like a sign on your hand and a reminder on your forehead that this law of the Lord is to be on your lips.”
Now to me, it sounds like God is speaking figuratively here. Like we might say, “The word I’m looking for is on the tip of my tongue.” God wanted his word to be at the foremost of their thoughts. But centuries later, the Jewish religious leaders were practicing this scripture quite literally. Nothing wrong with that if their motivation was to remind themselves of the importance of God’s word. But it got out of hand. Everybody wanted to have the biggest phylactery. “My phylactery is bigger than your phylactery! I’m more religious than you!” Ridiculous!
And the same thing was happening with tassels. That idea started with Numbers 15:38, which says, “Throughout the generations to come you are to make tassels on the corners of your garments.” The tassels also were to remind people of the importance of God’s word. Even Jesus wore them. The woman with the issue of blood in Matthew 9:20 reached out to touch the hem of his garment for healing. That hem was the tassel. But Jesus says these folks were out of control. They put larger and larger tassels on their garments. Why? So people would notice them.
Jesus gives more examples. He says some go for the best seats in church or at a banquet. Some love to be greeted at H-E-B (read “marketplace”). They love to be called names like, “Rabbi,” “Father,” “Instructor.” There’s nothing inherently wrong with those titles, but there is something profoundly wrong with desiring attention through them. Personally, I prefer you call me the “Right Reverend Doctor Bishop, Your Highness, Pastor Haynes.” How about that?
Some of these Pharisees were probably in the crowd at Jesus’ famous Sermon on the Mount. There, he said these words, captured well in the Message paraphrase of Matthew 6:1: “Be especially careful when you are trying to be good so that you don’t make a performance out of it. It might be good theater, but the God who made you won’t be applauding.”
The truth is, we all love attention, but don’t seek it out! Let it come to you naturally. And when it does, redirect it to the God who enabled you to accomplish what you did.
The antidote to seeking too much attention is to give attention away to others. Then, you will discover the very best way to build self-worth. Don’t live hypocritically, don’t put others down, don’t seek attention. But do just one thing. And in this one thing you will find all the worth you need. And it is this:
The best source for self-worth? Serve God by serving others.
Yes, it’s that simple. Serve God by serving others. Jesus concludes, in verses 11-12, “The greatest among you will be your servant. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” This little principle is found throughout scripture: If you lift yourself up in pride, God will bring you down. But if you serve humbly, God will lift you up, if not in this life, then in the life to come.
Be a secret servant of God. Make it a habit to serve God by serving others, and when possible, do it in a way that does not draw attention to yourself. Be a ninja servant! It might be leaving that last parking space to another driver you know is right behind you. Or it could be learning a new person’s name and making them feel valued. Or maybe treating someone better than they deserve, instead of repaying rudeness with rudeness. As you serve others without drawing attention to yourself, you serve God. And believe me, God takes note!
Jesus is not a hypocrite, folks. He practices what he preaches. Later he shared with his disciples, in Matthew 20:26-28, “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave—just as the Son of Man [that’s Jesus] did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” The cross was the single greatest act of service ever, as Jesus became sin on our behalf so we might be restored to God.
You find your true self-worth in being God’s child, relishing in God’s complete love, doing God’s will, serving God as you serve others. Let’s pray about it:
Lord, you know how easily we buy into the attention of others. We want to look good. We want people to like us. We want people to respect us. But what we really need is to bask in your love for us. The proper response to your complete love for us is to yield ourselves to your complete service, serving whoever you put in our path. Help us to be servants like our King Jesus, who came not to be served but to serve. Help us to find our self-worth in him, as we pray in his name, amen.
