From Fearing Man to Fearing God
Series: Moving Forward: The Choices that Free Us
Brad Bailey – January 21, 2018
Note: In the process of preparing to address this topic I found that what developed was an extent that would be better served as the basis for a 2 to 4 message series. Therefore, what follows is more material than I was able to share well in a single message…but should serve others with plenty to draw from for either a message or expanding towards series.
Intro - Throughout my teenage years I had a Golden Retriever dog named Genny. Golden Retrievers are known for their particular love for one thing… the tennis ball.
The tennis ball was her life focus… actually it was retrieving it and bringing it back to her master. When she retrieved it… gave her clear direction.
One year… threw a birthday party… friends came…and one had collected aa mass of tennis balls…we saved it for her last gift. At that point he poured out across the lawn the mass of tennis balls…and we watched. We looked the mass…and picked up a ball… but then stopped…as her every instinct couldn’t just pass over the others…so she stopped…eventually had to drop the one to get another…and this continued….and continued.
It was a world of equal expectations…equal focus…with no central focus.
• Focus (Another picture of Golden Retriever with single ball)
• No focus (Another picture of Golden Retriever with MASS OF BALLS)
When every tennis ball is calling you…your stuck…not by too little calling you…but too much.
In the same way…
? Can’t move forward when internally when we are surrounded by equally significant expectations from every life around us.
This first month of the new year… focusing on Moving Forward: the choices that can free us.
When Israel was brought to the edge of the Promised Land…
Deuteronomy 1:6-8 (NLT)
“The LORD our God said to us, ‘You have stayed at this mountain long enough. It is time to break camp and move on. … Look, I am giving all this land to you! Go in and occupy it...”
Many of us may sense a similar word to us…
You have stayed at this mountain long enough.
It is time to break camp and move on.
Most of us want to move forward. We sense there is more potential than we have reached yet…more that God wants us to become. We may have moments of quietly declaring it’s time to change… but we often find that we are stuck…and we just don’t move forward as we had felt so determined to do.
One of powers that we face…is the fear of others.
When Israel reached the edge of the Promised Land…
• Moses sends 12 spies into Canaan. All 12 tell how good the land is, but then 10 go on to state their fear of those who lived there…and that fear spread through all the people.
• Tragically… they will now spend 40 years in the wilderness, until the generation bound in fear has passed. (Numbers 11, 12, 13 and 14:38)
A whole generation never entered the Promised Land because they feared men more than trusted God.
This is a power at work that hold any of us back more than we know. It’s
The Fear of Man
I am using the term “man” only in literary way…the fear we have of others…includes our fear of both fellow men and women.
While it can speak of fearing the physical harm that others could bring upon us…the fear is more broadly all the ways in which we fear others.
It speaks of who we believe we should most deeply honor and serve…what we NEED to please to appease.
It speaks to whose approval we need most and whose disapproval we fear most.
It as a dangerous trap
Proverbs 29:25 (NLT)
Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the LORD means safety. [1]
It’s a dangerous trap. Many translations use the word “snare”
The Hebrew word used for “trap” or “snare” refers to traps hunters used to catch animals or birds. These traps bind us. Snares are dangerous. If we get caught, we must do whatever it takes to free ourselves.
“The greatest prison people live in is the fear of what other people think.”
In truth…I believe we are all bound by the fear of man…the fear of what others may think.
We were created to live in the adventure of life in relationship to the Creator… but we have created a world in which we tend to perform to fellow actors… from a script that has been handed to us.
When the world within us becomes a world of people to perform to…we become nothing more actors.
Life becomes a stage…we must enter over and over…to perform to fellow actors …and then retreat from … because we find it’s an audience of expectations we can never meet. [1b]
I know some of the most regretful decisions I made were losing my center… I recall compromising my consistency of following Christ and … later in life the very friends I wanted to join with when I did…expressed how they actually respected that commitment to Christ that had made me different.
It is not a matter of superiority but courage to make choices with a center.
We can build facades to protect us from ever thinking outside the script too much… always meeting the expectations.
It’s common to hear people speak of this as a matter of “People Pleasing.”
The term people pleasing implies that someone has a need to please other people that is unhealthy.
We could say that there is a “DISEASE TO PLEASE”…
Like how a disease attacks your internal being…so people pleasing can eat away at your true nature as a human being and individual with real power to choose real truth and rightness…. we will not allow ourselves to be the person that God has called us to be because we are afraid of how we look in front of others.
We become a shell. People pleasing leaves us in the malaise of a world with no center…. No truth to lead us.
It’s certainly true that we can become so afraid of what others think… or if they like us… or if they are happy with us…that we become too worried about pleasing them…even when it’s not appropriate.
But I want to suggest that this is more a symptom… than the root of the problem.
The great declaration of courage in our current culture is to declare: “I don’t care what anyone thinks.”
• I appreciate the courage that that may be expressed…but I would encourage a bit of caution in letting that define us.
• Can be an excuse… a way of protecting ourselves from the pain we have experienced by never feeling accepted… affirmed. Sometimes when I hear someone express with great passion: “I don’t care what anyone thinks” ... I hear pain. I hear someone who cares a lot about what people think.
• Can be an excuse for being uncaring… which is not a virtue in itself.
You don’t serve an audience of one by dismissing others…. Jesus said love God and SECOND love your neighbor…it is second…not equal but not opposite. [2]
• Simply not caring what others think…is not the end in itself. just leaves us with no center. [2b]
As Jon Bloom describes so well….
“It’s important we understand why our desire for approval and fear of disapproval is so strong.
Due to our sin, weaknesses, and perhaps traumatic past experiences, we might assume these things are merely consequences of the fall. But at the core, they’re not.
God actually designed us to be motivated by these emotionally powerful forces, for they uniquely reveal what we love.
Each of us instinctively knows, as creatures, that who we are and what we’re worth are not things we define for ourselves. We didn’t create ourselves. We are not autonomous but contingent creatures.
And each of us also instinctively knows our existence fits into a larger purpose or story and, despite attempts to convince us otherwise, it is impossible for us to create our own ultimate meaning. Deep down, we know such self-created meaning is absurd.
So, we cannot help but derive our identity, value, and meaning from external sources. Moreover, we instinctively seek them from external personal sources; we know deep down they are bestowed on us by a Person.” [3]
That is why we seek the love of others…and fear them if we deem them the ultimate source of love…and of validating our existence.
This is why God can be called jealous…like a parent who sees another steal away the heart of their child who they love…God is the ultimate source of all life and love. He is the only true source and center.
Deuteronomy 10:12-13 (NIV)
And now, O Israel, what does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, 13 and to observe the LORD's commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good?
We normally think of fear as fearing what is against us…but God is for us…to fear him is not a matter of fearing who wants to harm us…but who is for us…the one in whom we exist in relationship to.
Jesus said… Matthew 10:28 (GW)
Don't be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Instead, fear the one who can destroy both body and soul in hell.
He does not say that you fear God because God is against you…wants to do bad things like a human bully…but rather that God is the one for whom your existence eternally depends upon.
Both Moses and Jesus command us to love God supremely and both of them command us to fear God supremely. They’re not mutually exclusive commands; they’re two sides of the same coin.
Who do you live your life out to? Who matters most? Who do you truly belong to?
This is what Solomon meant when he wrote…
Proverbs 9:10 (NIV)
"The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
As Tim Keller describes,
“You’re only as durable as the thing you love most.”
If I love something most that can never pass away, I will never pass away. If I can love something most that will last forever, I will last forever, but if I love anything that’s vulnerable, I’m vulnerable. I’m as durable as that which I love most.
The human soul is only free when it directs it’s love and fear to God.
How do I become free from being bound by the fear of others?
1. Choose God as my primary audience… the One whom my life is contingent upon.
Our first step is simply to choose who your primary audience should be.
Again, the truth is that we do live our lives out before others…the problem is when they are the primary audience. When people are our primary audience… we will fear them.
Our problem is not simply wanting to please others…but about needing to…and needing it most.
Our problem is not simply caring about what others think about us…but having no other audience that matters more.
So it begins with choosing who your primary audience should be: and realizing God the true Source of Life and Unconditional Love
The Apostle Paul is a great example to us… He became the man primarily responsible for bringing Christ beyond the Jewish community. He wrote half of the books in our New Testament. He is someone who lived to please God.
But that wasn’t always the case. When we’re first introduced to Paul in the book of Acts he was watching and condoning the mob execution of a believer named Stephen. Paul was very much opposed to the early church and made it his mission to arrest or kill as many Christians as he could.
At the time, he was going by the name of Saul. And he was a very religious person. He followed all the religious laws and was quite proud of it. And as he traveled around trying to wipe out the early Christians, he gained the approval of many of the Jewish religious leaders and Roman officials who felt threatened by Christianity. And he did all he could to continue to please them.
Until the living God interrupted his life…revealed that Christ was indeed his Savior… and he gave his life to Jesus, chose to live for him alone.
From that point on, Paul ticked off a lot of people. In fact, he received death threats, had rocks thrown at him, was arrested and imprisoned, and eventually he was killed for his faith.
As he himself expressed…
Galatians 1:10 (NLT)
Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.
Paul wrote elsewhere,
“I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed I do not even judge myself…it is the Lord who judges me.” - 1 Corinthians 4:2-4
Those are not the words of someone who just wants to declare their independence… and how they march to their own drumbeat. Paul doesn’t think he is any better to judge.
And this is what we see in all it’s fulness in Christ.
Jesus said, "I only seek to please Him who sent me." - John 5:30 (LB)
Later as he prayed at the end of his ministry… just before he would finally be crucified….he prayed to the Father…
John 17:4
I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do.
Such a sense of completion may be the most elusive key to experiencing peace in life… for how often do we enjoy that sense of fulfillment?
‘How could Jesus talk about a "completed" work? His three-year ministry seems painfully brief. One prostitute at a banquet was given forgiveness and a new life, but many others still ply their trade. For every withered muscle that flexed into strength, hundreds remain crippled.
The blind, maimed and deceased abound throughout the country. Yet on that last night, with many urgent human needs unmet and useful tasks undone, the Lord has peace.
The answer to our question lies in the words that follow: "the work you gave me to do”
Jesus did not meet all the human needs he encountered-many urgently desired by family and friends, and by others along his path. But he completed the mission his Father gave him.’ [4]
Our calling transcends the life circumstances we have often considered necessary for personal fulfillment (i.e. marriage, parenting, and work.)
In our culture we often direct our sense of personal fulfillment to marriage, parenting, and work.
Jesus had no marriage, no children, and no regular job during the very years by which he defined his sense of fulfillment.
When Jesus claimed fulfillment…. Completion… it reflected something that transcended such circumstances and roles.
This calling was internalized into his daily life daily reality.
Context: Jesus stops to get water… Samaritan woman…
"My food," Jesus said to them, "is to obey the will of the one who sent me and to finish the work he gave me to do.” - John 4:34 (TEV)
“Food” = My satisfaction… fulfillment… inwardly he was feeling full.
Yes he had a sense of the fact that more may lie ahead… but he was enjoying the fulfillment of the moment… faithful participation. = faithfulness success.
The Apostle Paul would express how such a desire is to develop in each of us…
2 Corinthians 5:9
So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it.
We must allow God to become our guiding companion by quieting our souls enough to listen.
And this leads to the second step…
2. Develop an inner relationship with my primary audience: The Living Truth and Presence of God.
Acknowledging that God should be our primary audience…and living as such are not the same.
It’s not easy. We are surrounded by people… often more real to us.
Our natural disposition is to perform for them… so it involves developing a spiritual inner life.
Most of us live so externally… but God sees the heart. So when we develop a relationship with Him…. it is not an outward performance….but a connection of the heart.
“People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at a person’s thoughts and intentions.” 1 Samuel 16:7 (NLT)
He sees your deeds, and more importantly He sees your heart. He knows your thoughts and your motives. Nothing is hidden from Him. So what you need to ask yourself is, “Is God pleased with what He sees?”
Hebrews 4:12-13 (GNT)
The word of God is alive and active, sharper than any double-edged sword. It cuts all the way through, to where soul and spirit meet, to where joints and marrow come together. It judges the desires and thoughts of the heart. 13 There is nothing that can be hid from God; everything in all creation is exposed and lies open before his eyes. And it is to him that we must all give an account of ourselves.
Okay, so God sees and knows everything about you and me. We can’t hide from Him, we can’t deceive Him, we can’t fool Him… He sees everything clearly and knows everything about us. So if that’s true, what is God looking for?
What qualities and characteristics do you think He wants to see in our lives? What would please Him?
PARTICIPATION - (e.g. Humility, devotion, honesty, selflessness, holiness, faithfulness, mercy, love…)
This leads to a third point…
3. Discover the Life of Secret Rewards
Jesus knows that the fear of man offers nothing… and he sees how it can play out in even religious ways. He knows that there is another way…one that can truly satisfy… with unseen rewards. So he explains….
Matthew 6:1 (MSG)
“Be especially careful when you are trying to be good so that you don’t make a performance out of it. It might be good theater, but the God who made you won’t be applauding.”
Matthew 6:2-4 (NIV)
"So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
The word “hypocrite” refers to the theater…in which the actor performs… with their mask.
There is a false self…that we each will have to face. It has been refining it’s performance so long …. It’s hard to call it a performance. [5]
Jesus is encouraging us to monitor our motives by what is unseen by others
- Women…elevator.. “Are you the REAL Robert Redford?” He smiled and said, “Only when I’m alone.”
? A great truth reflected in these words … OUR REAL LIVES ARE NOT DISCOVERED IN THE PUBLIC ARENA BUT IN THE PRIVATE.
Jesus tells us about the power of what is unseen. He tells us about having that secret place.
Enter God’s “Secret Service”
Make it your goal this week to serve someone …share something…without anyone else knowing. Do something that only God sees.
The alternative to hypocrisy is this, and Jesus says it three times: The alternative to hypocrisy is the reward that comes from One who can truly judge and truly reward.
He will reward you.
Do we live for that reward?
Do we have the focus of a single tennis ball… or are we surrounded by them?
Do we have an audience of one to please… or a mass of lives whose approval can never be fulfilled?
When we fear man… we perform…and we will find that we will never be more than actors with mixed reviews. We will never know who we really are. But the reward of God… who sees everything…it is the only reward truly given to our most genuine self.
Closing:
The Biblical Book of Hebrews… speaks to those who are being rejected… persecuted… who naturally feel the fear of man rising up within them.
Tells them to look at those who went before them. What had allowed them to go forward….Abraham…Moses… ? They knew that they were not home yet…that this world was not their home. This not their stage. They lived for another.
And above all…
Hebrews 12:2 (Voice)
Now stay focused on Jesus, who designed and perfected our faith. He endured the cross and ignored the shame of that death because He focused on the joy that was set before Him.
How dramatically the choice played out as He was brought before Pilate…the local ruler
Pilate was to maintain peace… he had to maintain the expectations of Caesar… and the people who he ruled over. So when the religious leaders brought Jesus… we see the plight of one who knows only the fear of man.
He appeases…but they say you are no friend of Ceasar’s… Ceasar had no need to execute an innocent man…one who seemed to transecend…
SO he spoke to Jesus… who are you.
Jesus declared truth…at which Pilate was lost…”Truth…what is truth?” There we hear the words of despair that the fear of man leads to…we must forgo any truth…and center… just a meaningless world.
He tries to appease… there is Caesar… wife says …the people begin to play him.
Jesus… who long ago had been baptized…immersed into the life in which the Father had declared “This is my son in whom I am well pleased.
“This is my Son, whom I love; I am well pleased with him.” - Matthew 3:17 (CJB)
Those are the words that led him. Words of love. Of being delighted in.
One…was left stuck in the malaise. Pilate found there was no way to please the world around him. He lost his soul… with the idea that there was no ultimate truth to guide him.
One went forward… Jesus finished his life faithful to who he was.
Almost everyone who feels they are ‘sort of’ believers… lacking passion… between worlds… at the core the problem is trying to live life to two equal audiences.
May we join the Apostle Paul in saying:
2 Corinthians 5:9 (NASB)
“Therefore we also have as our ambition, whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him”
Some potential closing songs:
Audience of One" by Big Daddy Weave
Chris Tomlin – God and God Alone
Chris Tomlin - Whom Shall I Fear [God of Angel Armies]
Resources: While most of this is not drawn from any outside source, I did read what many have done on this topic and am indebted to some good points from The Audience Of One Series
contributed by Greg Hanson and Lay Aside the Fear of Man article by Jon Bloom
Notes:
1. Some other translations:
Proverbs 29:25 (NIRV)
If you are afraid of people, it will trap you. But if you trust in the Lord, he will keep you safe.
Prov 29:25 (NET)
The fear of people becomes a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD will be set on high.
Proverbs 29:25 (TEV)
It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you, but if you trust the LORD, you are safe.
1b. A great illustration is the movie “TRUMAN SHOW” – A man living before an audience of millions his whole life…until he finds himself at the door of the set ready to get out. It’s a great picture of how we live our lives out to an audience…and the power of leaving the stage.
2. The Scriptures do speak of valuing how others perceive us.
1 Peter 2:12 Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God when he judges the world.
2 Corinthians 8:21 For we are taking great care to do what is right, not only in the eyes of the Lord, but also in the eyes of men.
1 Timothy 3:7 Furthermore, he must have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the snare of the devil.
Romans 15:1-2 We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up.
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18 (NIV)
2b. I would note that while only God an be our ultimate source of true and durable center, we can see how the love and security of others…parents in particular in formative years, becomes that which one does internalize and carries into how they relate to others.
A young girl who has had a healthy relationship wither father… in which she was treated well… will have more likelihood of not allowing young men to treat her poorly when the time comes…because she has a more defined reference point.
Similarly, those who were loved more unconditionally… may have developed more inner strength and boundaries as they engage the world…they may not be as driven to please others.
But even this is only an echo of knowing the One who is truly the source of one’s life…and love.
3. From Lay Aside the Fear of Man Article by Jon Bloom - Staff writer, desiringGod.org)
Similarly, Thomas R. Kelly writes, "Life is meant to be lived from a Center, a divine Center... There is a divine abyss within us all, a holy infinite Center, a Heart, a Life who speaks in us and through us to the world. We all have heard this Whisper at times. At times we have followed the Whisper, and amazing equilibrium of life, amazing effectiveness of living sets in. But too many of us have heeded the Voice only at times. Only at times have we submitted to His holy guidance. We have not counted this Holy Thing within us to be the most precious thing in the world. We have not surrendered all else to attend to it alone..."
4. This is a quote from Charles E. Hummel-Freedom From Tyranny of the Urgent: Page 23, which I only drew / paraphrased.
5. There is a false self we find in Scripture….and within ourselves that we must face.
• Cain' pretended' to' worship' by' offering' a' kind' of' sacrifice' God' did' not' want.' When' his' hypocrisy' was' unmasked, 'he killed his brother Abel out of resentment (Gen.'4:5K8).
Absalom' vowed' allegiance' to' his' father,' King' David,' while 'plotting' 'overthrow' his kingdom' (2'Sam'15:7K10).
• Judas pretended to love Jesus while betraying him. • Ananias' and' Sapphira' pretended to give more money' to' the' church' than' they' really' gave,' and' God' struck' them down as a result'(Acts'5:1K10).
We must face the ‘false self’ that protects itself by avoiding God.
1999 Best New Artist Grammy winner Lauryn Hill on prayer:
There was a point when I had decided that I wasn't gonna pray anymore. I stopped praying because there were some things in my life that I knew weren't good for me. But I had decided that I needed those things. I knew that if I prayed, God would take them away from me. So I was afraid. I was devastatingly terrified of prayer. And the moment I did pray, lo and behold, he removed all the negativity. Quicker than a snap. In the same speed, he loosened my tongue, and a creative voice just came and wrote.
Citation: Toure, "Lady Soul," Rolling Stone (2-12-99); submitted by Melissa Parks, Des Plaines, Illinois
Brennan Manning -
Have you ever felt baffled by your internal resistance to prayer? By the existential dread of silence, solitude, and being alone with God? By the way you drag yourself out of bed for morning praise, shuffle off to worship with the sacramental slump of the terminally ill, endure nightly prayer with stoic resignation, knowing that "this too shall pass"?
Beware the impostor!
The false self specializes in treacherous disguise. He is the lazy part of self, resisting the effort, asceticism, and discipline that intimacy with God requires. He inspires rationalizations, such as, "My work is my prayer; I'm too busy; prayer should be spontaneous so I just pray when I am moved by the Spirit." The false self's lame excuses allow us to maintain the status quo.
The false self dreads being alone, knowing "that if he would become silent within and without he would discover himself to be nothing. He would be left with nothing but his own nothingness, and to the false self which claims to be everything, such a discovery would be his undoing."
Obviously, the impostor is antsy in prayer. He hungers for excitement, craves some mood-altering experience. He is depressed when deprived of the spotlight. The false self is frustrated because he never hears God's voice. He cannot, since God sees no one there. Prayer is death to every identity that does not come from God. The false self fears silence and solitude because they remind him of death.
-Brennan Manning, "Abba's Child", p. 39-40
