BALANCE
“Be Friendly”
Luke 2:52, 1st Samuel 23:16 and Psalm 139:1-4
One of the most popular topics in songwriting today has been the subject of friendship. Many decades ago Beatles sang a song titled I get by with a little help from my friends James Taylor and
Carol King sang a song titled you’ve got a friend. Words read...
when you're down and troubled and you need a helping hand
And nothing, whoa, nothing is going right. Close your eyes and think of me and soon I will be there. To brighten up even your darkest nights. You just call out my name, and you know wherever I am. I'll come running, oh yeah baby, to see you again
Winter, spring, summer, or fall. All you got to do is call and I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got a friend
One of the primary figures of the OT was a man named David. And this was a man who basically had it all. The Bible tells us that David was…
• Handsome. Even Goliath said David was handsome and he despised David.
• Strong. When a lion turned on him he seized the lion by its hair and killed it. When a bear carried off one of the lambs from his flock, David chased the bear down, punched the bear (who does that?) And took the Lamb back.
• It also know he was a hero. When Goliath threatened Israel for 40 days, Goliath would come out every morning and every evening, just to intimidate. The people... And it worked. But David stepped up and with one Rock he killed Goliath.
Handsome, strong; a hero... Everyone loved David... And he was chosen to be king. So what more could someone want? Well there was another word used to describe David and that was the word lonely. How can someone who seem to have it all, feel so lonely? Listen to what he says and Psalm 142:4. Then in Psalm 22 he said my God why have you forsaken me? Are you so far from the? Ever feel like that? Loneliness is a terrible thing and there’s just one solution. You must find friends. You must befriend people. And to do so, you must learn to be friendly. Because, here’s the deal. There is perhaps no feeling we face in life that is more difficult than when we are completely alone.
Recent poll says that four out of every 10 people in America admit to frequent feelings of intense loneliness. One ad in a local newspaper read this way: call me. I will listen to Utah for 30 minutes without making any comments for just five dollars. Sounds like a joke. But they were serious. And get this. It wasn’t long before this individual was receiving nearly 20 calls a day.
Is a good reason why most of us experience loneliness from time to time is not because we’re weak... It’s not because we have a character flaw— the reason is simple... God created us for community; we are better together. One of the biggest mistakes we have made I think is forgetting what God said in Genesis. He had created the sun, moon, stars---animals and of course man and once you get he looked at all of it and said, this is good. But then he says but it is not good for man to be alone. Every one of us has a built-in need for a deep satisfying relationship with another person. God created us for community. To make friends.
This is the conclusion of a major study done by Harvard University. The study interviewed almost 30,000 adults in over 40 different cities in the United States. Listen. The study indicated that the degree to which we socialize with one another, trust one another and join with one another in community life predicts a cities quality-of-life better than education or income. So it is not about how smart we are or how wealthy we are that will give us quality-of-life-is based on friendship.
Just one more thing about loneliness. With over 7.5 billion people on this planet, there are good reasons why we are more lonely than ever. There are at least four reasons. Here they are.
(1) Computers and cell phones. Social media can become our only way we communicate. And we lose the sense of touch.
(2) Television. Average person watches 4-5 hours of television a day. We have a new term called binge watching.
(3) Longer work hours. Most people I know work more than eight hours a day or 40 hours a week.
(4) Two income families. And sometimes husbands and wives work two different shifts. One works 7-3 while the other works 3-11 they sleep and start over.
Here’s some good news. God would not place a need in your life without a plan to meet that need. The answer is learning to be a true friend. Here are some things to look for in a friendship.
1. Look for a common bond. An affinity. A bond is like a magnet. They stick together. There is just something about that person you may not even be able to put into words. The word affinity means that you share something in common. You hit it off as soon as you meet. They are easy to be with. That is affinity. There is an example of this in the OT. One of the finest friendships recorded in the Bible was between David and Jonathan.
1st Samuel 23:16 says that “Jonathan went to find David and encouraged him to stay strong in his faith. Please write this down.
Friendship begins when 2 people share similar beliefs and values.
Why? Because if they don’t, they will argue too much. It happens in friendship. It happens in marriage. You have to start with affinity. What do you have in common? So the church CAN be a great place to build a friendship. As your pastor, if anyone comes through our front door, feeling alone, then let me assure you that is not the way we want you to leave here. The Psalmist said, God is a Father to the fatherless. He is a defender of widows and He sets/puts the lonely into families. And that is what I want everyone to sense that when they come through these doors. That this is family.
2. Look for real/genuine acceptance. Solomon said a true friend is always loyal and a brother is born to help in time of need. Now that’s a lot to ask but true friends stay with you. No matter what. All of us have had friends who just when things got tough/difficult—we look around and they’re gone. Those are what we call conditional friends. As long as the conditions are right they stick with you. But it’s not what I want. I want unconditional friendship.
I took a few minutes and I looked at a 20 year span of my life. We have been in Florida for 25 years but prior to here we lived in 6 different states. During those years I could write down the names of about 6 people whim I consider to be really close friends. Then I thought what, if anything did all of these people have in common? All 6 knew the Lord. Affinity. All 6 were very kind people. All 6 accepted me as I was but they also helped me become better. All of this is important to me because I’m not just looking for someone to hang out with. Write this down.
Friendship continues when 2 people practice unconditional love and acceptance.
3. Look for consistency. Look for people who are real/genuine. Some people are just concerned about making an impression or keeping up an appearance. Those people do not make very god friends. We all need someone with whom we can be completely honest. Completely transparent. No competition between the two of them. Because when two people compete they can’t encourage the other one to grow. When people compete they are too busy knocking each other down instead of building them up. Write this down.
Friendship only grows when two people challenge one another to be better. By the way, this applies to marriage as well.
Solomon said as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Two are better than one.
Stu Weber tells the story of a time when he was in the military at Ft Benning. An old, kind of rough Sergeant shouted at him constantly and kept sayin’ the same thing over and over …. You are never to go into battle alone! It was time for their first assignment. They had been working out and getting in shape for long hours … so they felt like they were prepared for whatever was going to happen. Most of them figured they were about to have to run ten miles in full battle gear or perhaps climb down a cliff. Something difficult. So what he said to them caught them off guard. He simply said, I want all of you find a buddy. Her said, that is step one. You need to find a good buddy and then stick together. You will never leave each other. You will encourage them every day; you will live with one another, help one another; you will get to know one another and if necessary you will even carry one another BUT there is one thing you must never do…..you must NEVER, EVER be alone. Because it is impossible to face the tough things in life alone. Together is always better. Two is always better than one.
Jesus said it this way….”greater love has no man than this; that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants because a servant does not know his mater’s business. Instead I have called you friends for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.
We must deepen our relationship with Jesus. How would you like to have a friend who would say these things to you…..
• When you are facing a storm and feel like an orphan, I will not leave you. John 14:18
• If your Mom and Dad leave you I won’t. Psalm 27:10
• I won’t leave you until the world ends.
• The mountains might disappear but I will always be kind to you. Isaiah 54:10
• I will be with you whenever you are afraid. Isaiah 41:13.
• I will never let you down or leave you. Deuteronomy 31:6
How would you like a friend like that? What I have done there is to summarize 6 verses out of the Bible of words Jesus/God has spoken to us. Those are 6 promises our Father makes to us in the scripture. If you are struggling with loneliness you first need to make friends with Jesus. Because He wants to be your best friend. Everything you need in a best friend, He has it. So today I want to invite you to make Jesus your best friend.
