Thanks to Jeff Strite for thje illustration and Bill Glass for the outline
Wayfaring Strangers
a study of 1 Peter
part 11
and “In the same way, you wives”
Scripture: 1 Peter 3:1-6
1 Peter 3:1-6
Let me read you a letter to a wife sent to tech support
Dear Tech Support, last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0
I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance
Most specifically in the flower and jewelry applications.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs
Such as
Romance 9.5
Personal Attention 6.5
and then installed undesirable programs such as
internet 5.0
television 3.0
and
Sports 4.1.
Because of these installs
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do? Signed, Desperate Woman.”
Response
Dear Desperate Woman, first, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package
while Husband 1.0 is an older more reliable operating system.
Try to download Tears 6.2.
If this application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above applications can cause a default to Silence 2.5.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources).
In summary, you might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.”
A magazine for Christian leaders published a cartoon that showed a pastor peering out anxiously from inside a World-War-II-style bunker, which was behind the pulpit.
The well-protected pastor announced, “My text for today is 1 Peter 3:1-6.”
I’m not looking for a bunker today because I’m committed to preach what the Bible says, no matter what grenades may come my way.
But before we read our passage, I do want to make some preliminary points.
The context of this passage deals with how a Christian wife can witness to a husband who is not saved…yet.
Some of you are in that exact situation and you long for your mate to share your faith.
I pray that this passage will give you hope and a godly game plan.
A good marriage is more than being with the right person;
it’s being the right person.
Listen
If you are single, make a choice based on God’s word not to enter a spiritually mismatched marriage.
2 Corinthians 6:14 says clearly
Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?
Some of you are single
divorced
or widowed
and may feel that this passage does not apply to you.
Hebrews 13:4:
Give honor to marriage and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.
It is a shame that marriage is no longer honored in our society
It’s dismissed as irrelevant
It is demeaned
denounced
discouraged by many.
Marriage is being ridiculed and has been redefined.
Listen
God declares that marriage is between one man and one woman for life.
And no supreme court or set of laws can change God’s word
This passage does not contain all that Scripture teaches about marriage
So, this sermon will not address everything that the Bible has to say about this topic.
We will only cover Peter’ teaching on marriage today
Please listen to me
If you are in an abusive and dangerous relationship, please find a safe place and get some help.
In this passage of scripture there are six verses directed to wives
And only one verse is directed to husbands.
Originally, I was going to preach about both wives and husbands today but in order to do our passage justice I’ve decided to handle husbands next week
If it seems that wives have more to work on in this passage, remember that other sections of Scripture, like Ephesians 5, lean heavily toward a husband’s duties.
Peter is giving more attention to wives because of the suffering they’re enduring.
In the context of this passage
Many women are accepting Christ
Desiring to live a better life
And fellowship with other believers
And they are being mistreated by their unbelieving husbands in the process
With that, let’s dive in to 1 Peter 3:1-6:
Please open your bibles to 1 Peter 3:1-6
Please remember for the last 2 weeks we have been teaching on submission even in unjust conditions
“In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over 2 by observing your pure and reverent lives.
3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 5 This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands. 6 For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do
We see right away that this is the third instance of the word “submission” in this section of 1 Peter.
Our main idea today is this: Spouses are called to serve one another.
The words “In the same way”
Ties this part of the passage to the theme of this entire section
Let’s back up to 1 Peter 2:22-25
22 He never sinned,
nor ever deceived anyone.[a]
23 He did not retaliate when he was insulted,
nor threaten revenge when he suffered.
He left his case in the hands of God,
who always judges fairly.
24 He personally carried our sins
in his body on the cross
so that we can be dead to sin
and live for what is right.
By his wounds
you are healed.
25 Once you were like sheep
who wandered away.
But now you have turned to your Shepherd,
the Guardian of your souls.
In these verses we see how our Savior handled suffering.
As Christ-followers we’re called to follow His steps, right?
Words to Wives
Peter begins with six ways that wives can work at winning their unbelieving husbands to Christ.
By being submissive to your husband.
Verse 1a
“In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands”.
This verse in no way
States that women are inferior to men
It in no way states that women are to accept the leadership of all me
It also does not state that women are to be abused
Neglected
Or used as a door mat
It says
Submit to the authority of your husband
Who is the head of the family
As Christ is head of the church
Listen to me submission does not mean slavery
Guys your wife is not being un-submissive when she disagrees with you
Or doesn’t jump when you rattle your tea glass
Submission will always be a struggle
The tension goes back to Genesis 3:16 where we read in the NLT:
“And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.”
As 1 Timothy 2:13-14 says
“For God made Adam first, and afterward he made Eve. 14 And it was not Adam who was deceived by Satan. The woman was deceived, and sin was the result
Listen
Often Christian wives believe the worldview that submission is a curse.
It is not a curse.
Submitting to your husbands is designed to be a blessing.
God has lovingly established a framework for order and authority and it extends right into our families.
According to Ephesians , marriage is intended to reflect Christ and the church
The Bible clearly teaches that as the Church submits to Christ, wives are to submit to our husbands.
It is a picture of His love relationship with the Church, not a curse on the Church.
But what does that mean for wives?
Do you have a say in marriage? - Yes
Do your thoughts and points of view matter? – Yes
Does it mean that your husbands control us and treat us without dignity? - No
Wives have a lot to offer.
Women and men are both created in the image of God.
He has given women gifts, abilities, intelligence, insights and ideas.
Some women have a lot of education, are well-read, informed
As half of the “One Flesh” you bring all of this to your marriage relationship.
Discussions that include both husband and wife sharing their points of view is healthy.
The first thing to settle if you’re serious about winning your husband to Christ is to submit to him
The second way is to make sure you’re living the right way.
Verse 1b-2
Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over 2 by observing your pure and reverent lives
Many men do not step up to the plate when it comes to leading their families
The man is supposed to be the head
And as a result, it is his responsibility to lead his family in a godly manner
Unfortunately
Many Don’t
And in addition
They adamantly oppose the woman’s desire to follow God
So, Peter says
Practice what you preach
Listen
No one is ever nagged or argued into salvation
As a matter of fact
Sometimes words can even get in the way
Especially when a wife is coming on too strong spiritually.
The temptation may be to talk incessantly about spiritual matters because you long for your spouse to share your faith
But it can come across as an irritation.
Verse 2 tells us that your husband is watching what you do even if he’s not listening to what you say
“They will be won over 2 by observing your pure and reverent lives.”
Unbelieving husbands can be won to Christ by the pure conduct of their wives.
Part of that conduct is showing respect
A man’s primary need is for respect
A woman’s primary need is for love
Since a husband’s primary need is for respect, when a wife gives it to him, she is following what God says and fulfilling what her man needs.
Wives, you can win your husband to Christ by first, submitting to him.
Secondly, by your pure conduct and by showing respect to him;
and fourthly
by your inner beauty.
Verses 3-4
. “Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.”
Listen
there’s nothing wrong with looking nice
But we must all be beautiful on the inside as well as the outside
Many in the world believe this verse promotes homeliness
Not so
Peter is calling on wives to not focus on the physical beauty
But
to instead to build spiritual beauty
I will say this
Some women
If you fit this category
Please listen
Women you can dress nice
Without being provocative
Nuff said
Peter says
“Be known for beauty that comes from within.”
That is so hard to do in a society that worships physical beauty.
Peter says that the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit is incorruptible and will not fade away, no matter what happens to one’s physical appearance.
There’s no Botox or plastic surgery needed to keep this kind of beauty.
Verse 4b
The beauty of a gentle and quite spirit
The word “gentle” is one of the Fruits of the Spirit
Jesus referred to Himself as gentle in Matthew 11:29.
And “quiet spirit” refers to a wife not given to outbursts of wrath.
It means to be tranquil, not combative.
Peter says that these qualities are
Verse 4c
“which is so precious in the sight of God.”
God puts an extraordinary value on a woman who cultivates her inner life more than her outward appearance.
And that’s what ultimately will move an unbelieving husband to take steps towards faith in Christ
So, here’s a question:
Men this can apply to you as well
Where are you focusing your attention?
On the external or the internal?
And here’s a challenge:
Spend as much time growing and strengthening your inner life as you do cosmetically beautifying the outward.
By trusting God
Peter takes us next to the example of Sarah in verses 5-6:
“Verses 5-6
5 This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands. 6 For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master.
The key here is that Sarah trusted God even as she submitted to her husband.
We know Sarah was a knockout.
Genesis 12:11 says that she was “a woman of beautiful countenance.
” But what set her apart was that she adorned herself inwardly and determined to follow Abraham’s God-given leadership, even when it didn’t make sense to her.
Some of you wives have been waiting a long time for your husband to get saved.
Don’t give up.
Keep on trusting God
Have patience
It has been said that
“Patience isn’t the ability to wait. It’s how you behave while waiting.”
And lastly
By doing good.
No matter what happens, God wants wives to be doers of good, not evil as the last part of verse 6 says
Verse 6b
“You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.”
” If you are a wife, are you committed to doing good things for your husband?
Proverbs 12:4:
A worthy wife is a crown for her husband,
but a disgraceful woman is like cancer in his bones
Summary
We’ve learned today that spouses are to serve one another.
Wives, you can work at winning your husbands to Christ…
1. By being submissive.
2. By pure conduct and respect
3. By inner beauty.
4. By trusting God.
5. By doing good.
I want to be clear that there are no guarantees that your husband will come to faith in Christ if you do these five things.
These are principles to follow more than a promise you can count on.
Some of you feel stuck.
You’ve been searching for that software that will somehow make your husband improve.
Others of you are wondering if God can fix your relationship.
Maybe you feel like your marriage is broken and there’s no hope.
Listen
It’s not bad to be broken.
God goes to work when we’re out of whack.
Are you willing to admit your brokenness before a holy God right now?
I like to remember that my response is my responsibility
We can’t control the other half of our “one flesh/ our spouses
We can’t make our husband or wife act a certain way
But we can take responsibility for ourselves.
Close from the heart
Pray
