Fruit of the Spirit - Gentleness
Galatians 5:22-23
May 27, 2018
VIDEO of a fight at Wisconsin Dells Water park this past Mothers Day. Found on youtube.
Sometimes you have to laugh, because if you don’t you’re certainly going to cry! That was a scene from the Wisconsin Dells this past Mother’s Day. So, what did you do on Mother’s Day? I bailed my family out of jail.
Why did this fight occur? Like any good fight at a crowded indoor water park, someone took a lounge chair from another person’s table and it was on. Not only did the two families fight it out, but other families got involved as well.
One other story about family love on Mother’s Day - - was the story about the wife of pro golfer, Lucas Glover. Glover’s wife got into a fist fight with his mother. That’s right with the mother in law. Yup, I wonder what their Mother’s Day dinner looked like? Why did they get into a fight, where the mother was bloodied?
According to the arrest report, Glover told the police that his wife yells at him, stating he’s a "loser" and other choice words, when he plays poorly in a tournament. Earlier in the day, Glover missed the 54-hole cut at the Players Championship and only earned a check for $21,000. She threatens to move out and take the kids with her. His mother was defending him and the two got into it. So far this year, he’s sadly earned just over $750k, and slightly over $20M in his career. Yup, he’s a loser!
Well, I thought I would show you what we are not supposed to be like. We are on our 8th week of looking at the Fruit of the Spirit. If you remember, Paul tells us in Galatians 5:22-23 ~
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 GENTLENESS, self-control; against such things there is no law.
This week we're looking at gentleness. Now, if many of us were to be honest, we might think - “really, Paul, do you know what happens to people who are described as GENTLE?”
They get walked over, stepped on, spit out, laughed at! They are the brunt of jokes about soft Christians. I don’t want any part of that. Maybe I’ll show faithfulness, and try to be patient, and be loving, but gentleness, NOPE, give that to that golfers wife, she needs it more than me.
We really struggle when we hear that word. We don’t like the thought of being gentle out in the world. The world is ruthless and we’re told to turn the other cheek and be gentle. That sounds like a prescription for disaster. Maybe at home with your family, you can be gentle, kind and good. But when I’m at work and dealing with those clowns and customers, gentle? Never!!
When you look up the word gentleness in the dictionary, it’s no wonder we avoid it like the flu. We hear words like ~
kindly; amiable; mild: a gentle wind; easily handled or managed; to mollify; calm; pacify.
If we were to be honest, most people, especially men, will run from that description. We hear words like mild, soft, delicate. It gives us a sense of being submissive and overly passive. We use those words for the soap and lotions we use. Most of us don’t want to really be described in that image.
When we look at this list of 9 character traits, virtues God wants us to live by, GENTLENESS is one of them. So, if it’s important to God, it must be important to us. Part of the issue when we hear these phrases is that we don’t really understand what the word means.
So, as we’ve been doing, what does the word really mean? If we looked at the Greek word, what was Paul trying to tell us?
The word which is used in the KJV of the Bible is meekness. And we usually associate meekness with weakness.
But that’s not what meekness or gentleness means.
The word literally means “possessing and demonstrating a gentle strength which expresses power with reserve and gentleness.
For the Christ follower, meekness (or gentle-force) is attained through the Lord’s inspiration, direction and empowerment. It’s a divinely - balanced virtue that can only operate through faith.
Biblical meekness is not weakness but refers to exercising God's strength under His control. So, that’s a biblical understanding of gentleness.
In one of his books, Pastor and author, Charles Swindoll wrote ~
In our rough and rugged individualism, we think of gentleness as weakness — being soft and virtually spineless. But that is not so. Gentleness includes such enviable qualities as having strength under control, being calm and peaceful when surrounded by a heated atmosphere, emitting a soothing effect on those who may be angry or otherwise beside themselves, and possessing tact and gracious courtesy that causes others to retain their self esteem and dignity.
That’s worth striving for. When we think about power or strength under control, can we picture this?
You can picture the power of hurricanes, like Katrina and others which have caused mass devastation. That was water and wind totally out of control.
But when you can control water, such as the power of water as it rushes over a dam turning the turbines that generate power and electricity to surrounding cities. That’s power under control.
Or what about the times when we’ve seen our anger become out of control. Times where maybe we yelled and screamed and broke something because we jumped to conclusions about something. The results are never pretty, they’re never good, even if you get what you wanted. You’ve still caused damage.
But what about the times when we’ve been just as angry, we’ve been hurt, wounded in our heart, or we’ve seen our child, spouse, or parent hurt by someone, and we want to lash out, but we don’t, we have that anger, but we use it in a way which shows a gentle power and the results are much more positive.
You know what it’s like to see that abrasive person walking towards you . . . Your stomach starts to churn and you think the worst. You try to avoid all contact with them. And when that nongentle person has something to say to you - - it’s usually not mild on your stomach.
But a gentle person is not necessarily one who tells you what you want to hear – but they find a way to do it — that is mild on your stomach. You look forward to meeting with them, you trust them, and you know they have your good intentions at heart and they will be gentle in their handling with you.
Often times a person who lacks gentleness, particularly with the way in which they treat people, doesn’t recognize it or see it in themselves. Part of the issue is the fact that they have not been confronted in a gentle way to help them understand the damage they are doing to others. So, for many people their lack of gentleness is not a result of being mean spirited, it’s because they don’t know anything different.
And, so, I think the big ah-ha for a person who lacks gentleness is that they probably don’t know it, and the people in their life aren’t going to tell them because the people in their life are afraid of them. I mean, who wants to confront an non-gentle person to tell them they’re a non-gentle person.
SO . . . with that in mind, let me give you a couple of examples of gentleness from the Bible.
In Matthew 11Jesus gave us these great comforting words . . . 28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am GENTLE and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30
Jesus is using the word GENTLE to show us He has this great power and strength but seeks to harness and control it. He wants us to take comfort in His power which is always available to help us when we are feeling weak and weary. He wants us to know He has the power and ability to give us the rest we desire.
When Jesus says He is gentle, don’t think this means He’s feeble. Picture the scene in the garden of Gethsemane when the soldiers came to arrest Him, but fell backwards after Jesus simply identified Himself as the Messiah. Jesus was proving to them He had the power to crush them without lifting a finger. This illustrates the Greek word “gentleness” IS “power under control.”
In Galatians 6:1 — Paul wrote ~
1 Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. – Galatians 6:1
What Paul wants us to understand is that when a brother or sister in Christ has been found to sin, we, who are supposed to be spiritual, the Christ followers . . . filled with the Holy Spirit . . .
. . . We are to seek to restore that person, but we do it with a spirit of gentleness because we’re filled with the Holy Spirit and the fruit of the spirit of gentleness. So, we use the power of gentleness to restore the person.
It often seems like we live in a war zone. We’re surrounded by exploding lives and personalities and relationships. We hear the cries of those who are suffering, we see those who have made wrong choices and are crying out in desperation.
We have the opportunity to walk alongside them . . . not to berate them, but to help them, to restore them to wholeness.
God is saying, When you see people who are caught in sin - like the woman at the well, like the woman caught in adultery, like Zacchaeus, like so many others . . .
God tells us . . . in fact, I believe He commands us . . . “When you see people in those desperate situations, in their deepest nightmares and crises . . . dear Church . . . be gentle! Be careful! Their lives are so fragile. They could easily be broken. Handle with care! Yet, they can also be restored. So treat them with gentleness. Pick them up and hold them gently. Show them the way back. Help them see they’re loved. Help them come to X. Again, Jesus said, I am gentle and I will give them true rest. Remember, they are mine. I created them.”
Paul also reminds Timothy and Titus to be gentle in their dealings with people who are not always easy to be nice to. He said ~
24 And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to EVERYONE, able to teach, patiently enduring evil,
25 correcting his opponents with GENTLENESS. – 2 Timothy 2:24-25
Do you hear those words from Paul? It’s not always easy to be kind to everyone... or patiently endure evil and correct your opponents with gentleness. Yet, there’s so much power in the way we react and handle those difficult situations, that the Christ follower can stand above others because they show Christ in the way they deal with those issues.
Hear what Paul told Titus ~
1 Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work,
2 to speak evil of NO ONE, to avoid quarreling, to be GENTLE, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people. — Titus 3:1-2
Those are not always easy lessons to learn. It’s easy to disagree with someone and we let the venom fly. We do it when we don’t fully understand a situation. We jump to conclusions. It’s easy to do, especially in written communication like emails, text messages, twitter and whatever else is out there. Instead of letting our emotions get the best of us, how can we handle situations which show we are Christ followers and we have His strength, but seek to harness it.
Show perfect courtesy to all people, be GENTLE!
Lastly, we need to be gentle when we talk to others about Jesus. Peter wrote ~
15 in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense
to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, — 1 Peter 3:15
When someone sees a difference in your life because of Christ - and they ask you about it - Peter reminds us to proclaim Christ as the reason, but don’t beat them up with it. Be gentle and show respect as you tell them the reason for your hope.
It’s a harsh and cold world. And humanity needs to see that Jesus makes a difference. They need to see Jesus has made a real and tangible difference in our lives. Jesus has the power to help us show the strength behind gentleness.
But . . . will we allow Jesus to have control of our lives, or are we wanting to control our lives, and thereby control the lives of others.
Are you a gentle person? Have you treated others with gentleness? Can you use the power of gentleness to love others, even those who are a little unloveable? Can you do that? And maybe, just maybe, they will see Christ in you and be moved to come to Him.
