STOP RIDING ON THE COMPLAIN TRAIN
Last week my sermon was on making sure we don't lose our song. Jesus put a new song in our hearts-a song of salvation, a song of joy, a song of thanksgiving. But when we suffer hardship or loss it's easy to lose our song. But we need to maintain our song when it's hardest not to. One of the things that will contribute to losing our song is being a complainer. We've all been guilty of it. And we know the bad attitude it can cause. Have you ever been around someone who seems to complain about everything? Would you consider such a person to be happy? Content? Thankful? Being someone who grumbles or complains is detrimental to our spiritual well-being. Let's see what we can do about that.
1) The Israelites were complainers.
Exodus 16:1-3, "The whole Israelite community set out from Elim and came to the Desert of Sin, which is between Elim and Sinai, on the fifteenth day of the second month after they had come out of Egypt. In the desert the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. The Israelites said to them, “If only we had died by the LORD'S hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death.”
The Israelites had many complaints against Moses. When they were being chased by Pharaoh's army they thought they were doomed. So they complained that Moses should've left them alone to die in Egypt (14:11). Moses addressed their fears and then parted the Red Sea.
After that miracle, they were complaining again when they had gone three days without water and were disappointed when the water they did find was bitter (15:24). Then Moses threw a piece of wood into the water and it became sweet.
And we have the complaint here in chpt. 16 and another in chpt. 17 when they were thirsty again. Now, although it would be understandable to complain when they thought they were about to be killed and when they had gone without water for three days and to finally find some but couldn't drink it and again when they were hungry. But at the same time their complaining demonstrated a lack of gratitude for their blessings and a lack of confidence in God's power.
Exodus 16:6-8, "So Moses and Aaron said to all the Israelites, “In the evening you will know that it was the LORD who brought you out of Egypt, and in the morning you will see the glory of the LORD, because he has heard your grumbling against him. Who are we, that you should grumble against us?” Moses also said, “You will know that it was the LORD when he gives you meat to eat in the evening and all the bread you want in the morning, because he has heard your grumbling against him. Who are we? You are not grumbling against us, but against the LORD.”
Notice that Moses states their grumbling was against God. How much of our grumbling and complaining is really directed at God? We grumble and complain about our jobs, our circumstances, about what we think we should have, etc. We're so disappointed about the circumstances of life but who do we hold ultimately responsible? God.
We might not be directly complaining about God or to God but in essence that's what we're doing. Because if God is all powerful and he's ultimately in control then why isn't he doing anything about my situation? Why is he allowing these disappointments to keep happening? Realizing that our grumbling is ultimately against God should put things in perspective for us.
When we look at Psalm 106 we can see some reasons why the Israelites grumbled.
Psalm 106:16-27, "In the camp they grew envious of Moses and of Aaron, who was consecrated to the LORD. The earth opened up and swallowed Dathan; it buried the company of Abiram. Fire blazed among their followers; a flame consumed the wicked. At Horeb they made a calf and worshiped an idol cast from metal. They exchanged their Glory for an image of a bull, which eats grass. They forgot the God who saved them, who had done great things in Egypt, miracles in the land of Ham and awesome deeds by the Red Sea.
So he said he would destroy them—had not Moses, his chosen one, stood in the breach before him to keep his wrath from destroying them. Then they despised the pleasant land; they did not believe his promise. They grumbled in their tents and did not obey the LORD. So he swore to them with uplifted hand that he would make them fall in the desert, make their descendants fall among the nations and scatter them throughout the lands."
Their grumbling was due to things like envy, a lack of faith, forgetting about the great things God had done for them. They even despised the pleasant land. This sounds absurd but if you have developed a deep heart of grumbling and complaining then even when there's something good in your life you'll find something to criticize.
They didn't believe in God's promise for them. They were pessimistic, negative and disobedient. So, the Lord did not give them the land he had promised to them; he let them all die in the desert and their descendents inherited the promised land instead. When we have a spirit of grumbling and complaining we'll be deprived of more of God's blessings and providence. That's the irony-we grumble against God for not giving us what we want but in the attitude of grumbling and complaining we set the stage for things to get worse.
The Israelites were blind to their blessings and opportunities. If we were to see things in the proper light we would see that our lives aren't doomed to failure just because a few bad things have happened to us along the way. We wouldn't see God as out to get us. Removing the heart of grumbling and complaining allows us to see the great things God has done instead of always focusing on what we feel he hasn't done.
We would be able to see the blessings instead of gravitating toward the negative. Having an attitude of grumbling and complaining sabotages us. We're so focused on finding fault or waiting for things to go wrong when we find something good we don't see it for what it is or when something goes right we don't enjoy it like we could. The Israelites grumbled and so deprived themselves of certain blessings and so when we grumble and complain we deprive ourselves too.
2) The workers in the vineyard were complainers.
In Matt. 20, Jesus gave the parable of the workers in the vineyard. He told how the farmer went out early in the morning and hired some workers. Later in the day he went out and hired more workers. Then, when the day was almost done he hired even more workers. That's where we'll pick it up.
Matt. 20:8-15, “When evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, ‘Call the workers and pay them their wages, beginning with the last ones hired and going on to the first.’ “The workers who were hired about the eleventh hour came and each received a denarius. So when those came who were hired first, they expected to receive more. But each one of them also received a denarius.
When they received it, they began to grumble against the landowner. ‘These men who were hired last worked only one hour,’ they said, ‘and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the work and the heat of the day.’ “But he answered one of them, ‘Friend, I am not being unfair to you. Didn’t you agree to work for a denarius? Take your pay and go. I want to give the man who was hired last the same as I gave you. Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?’”
Have you ever grumbled about your job? Have you ever complained about your boss? Did you ever think you deserved more pay? I'm sure we have all done this at some time in our work history. So we might be a little sympathetic with these workers who appear to be getting shortchanged. They put in a hard day's work. The ones coming late in the day worked an hour; probably barely broke a sweat. And they received the same pay as the ones who had been busting their hump from morning to evening. No fair! We've been cheated; robbed! Where's the union rep?! I don't care if you're generous-just lay some of that generosity on me too!"
But it comes back to what the person agreed to work for-not under threat, not under compulsion-but in willful agreement. This parable is about the kingdom of heaven, as Jesus stated in vs. one. So, where are we in regards to this? We have come to Christ-not under compulsion, we're not forced labor; we've agreed to the contract. We've chosen to be servants of Christ. What has he promised? Eternal life for those that follow him.
But along the way, things get difficult. Our life isn't a bed of roses. So what do we do? We complain; we grumble. This isn't how I thought things were going to go once I became a Christian. I thought living for Jesus would mean things would get better. Or how do we feel about the person who was a sinner their whole life and became a Christian in their final moments getting the same reward as the one who followed Jesus for most of their life? Seem fair? In the end what were we promised? Eternal life if we follow Jesus.
After Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved him and Peter answered, 'yes', Jesus said this in John 21:18-22, "I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!”
Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, “Lord, who is going to betray you?”) When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?” Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me."
I don't think Peter didn't liked being told his life would not end too pretty. So he sees John and asks, "what about him"? If I had to elaborate I think Peter might've said, "Is he going to have to suffer like me or is he going to live a long, happy life?" And Jesus responds with, "What's that to you? That's my business. Didn't you just say you loved me? Didn't you just get upset because I asked you if you loved me three times? If you love me then follow me; don't worry about anyone else. I'm not treating you unfairly; this isn't favoritism. I'm a just God and you will surely receive your reward. Is your devotion contingent on what I do or don't do for you or what you see me do for others?"
When we get caught up in what God is doing for someone else we feel like we've been shortchanged. The workers thought they were being shortchanged but they weren't. Peter may have thought he was shortchanged but he wasn't. We might feel the same way but Jesus would ask us-how have I shortchanged you? What legitimacy is there to our complaint? Have we been given eternal life? Do we have the right to tell the landowner what to do with his resources? We need to remember that God loves us and provides for us and has already given us more than we deserve. We have no complaint.
3) Get off the complain train.
Phil. 2:14-16, "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing."
Paul is talking about our overall attitude toward life and fulfilling our duties. He's not talking about legitimate grievances. When there's a problem, filing a complaint is sometimes the appropriate course of action to take. But even in these circumstances we need to pick our battles. The chronic complainer is never satisfied with anything and therefore aims to file a grievance over just about anything. It's been said that the easiest thing to find is fault. It is apparently on record that a lady actually complained to the government that the extra hour of sunlight during Daylight Savings Time was burning up her lawn.
"Do everything without complaining or arguing". Some people do everything with complaining. And sometimes we're not aware of how much we complain until it gets pointed out. "Beverly was shocked when her husband finally addressed her negativity. "It's hard to come home from work and listen to you complain." "Me, complain?" she thought. She had never thought of herself as a complainer. Her husband continued, "I listen to you grumble that you were caught in traffic, or that your editor trashed the lead on which you worked so hard or that my mother demanded your time."
"I thought I was just telling you about my day," Beverly replied. "But it comes through in your tone and body language." For several weeks Beverly tried to utter no grumbles or complaints. But, when she had a particularly hard day the complaints came forth like a torrent. The next morning in her bible study she read how the Israelites had grumbled in their wanderings and how it was displeasing to God. Then she read Phil. 2:14. She focused on the word everything.
Beverly later wrote, 'now, evening conversations with my husband are more pleasant. I hear a lot more about his concerns by encouraging him to tell me his feelings before I leap with my problems. When I am tempted to launch into a monologue of the day's woes I remind myself that I don't want to quench the Holy Spirit with my complaining. And I pray that God will help me to reflect his love."
It's pretty hard to not complain about anything. It's easy to complain about some things-people, the weather, Murphy's law, etc. But Paul challenges us to do everything without complaining about it. I shared the story last week how the author saw his mom and dad still singing their song despite hard chores or the crop not coming in. And we saw how Paul and Silas were praying and singing despite being severely beaten and thrown in jail. So it's possible to have a positive attitude in a harsh environment.
"So that". Paul wants us to stop arguing and complaining because these will get in the way of us living a pure and blameless life. We might not think these issues would have so much to do with the quality of our walk but they do. Paul could've highlighted a host of other sins that would get in the way but he hones in on arguing and complaining. So obviously these are pretty important factors when striving to live for Christ but why?
If I find myself being argumentative with people-especially God's people, there may be something more severe going on beneath the surface. If I'm a complainer, I may be complaining about whatever is in front of me at the moment but there's usually a deeper meaning and driving force behind my complaints. The negativity inside me is manifesting itself by being argumentative and complaining. Arguing and complaining is a problem, but it's indicative of a more serious one. I'm not joyful; I'm not grateful. I'm losing touch with Christ. I'm not close to him, his word or his people. Through arguing and complaining I'm distancing myself from these things.
And I can be in denial about what the real problem is. I can think everything and everyone else is the problem but I haven't taken a good look at myself. If I think everything stinks maybe I haven't checked under my own nose. Paul Meier said, "A person who has a negative attitude toward himself will also be quite critical of others."
"Shine like stars". We are living in a world full of wickedness. We are called to be lights shining in the darkness. How bright can we be when we're arguing and complaining? How good is our witness when we're fighting with each other? What message does that send to those outside of the church? Quote: "An argument produces a lot of heat but not much light."
"As you hold out the word of life'. This can also be worded, 'as you hold onto the word of life'. In the Greek it means to apply it. This is key. As we hold onto and hold out the word of life, we'll be able to accomplish the blameless and pure life Paul talks about. However, if we find ourselves arguing and complaining, that will be counterproductive in accomplishing these goals. But, if we look at what Paul said at the beginning of the chapter, we see a great formula for being able to avoid complaining.
Phil. 2:1-5, "If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus."
Paul may be using the word "if" but they are really rhetorical questions. Since we've been encouraged and comforted; since we are privileged to have fellowship with the Holy Spirit, since we have received tenderness and compassion, we need to be the same way toward others. Be like Christ and follow his example of humility and sacrifice for the good of others. If this is our attitude then there will be no room for arguing and complaining, only shining the light.
