Our names say a lot about us. We put thought into what we name our children and our pets. Some of us even name our cars. Everything has to have a name. Some names are strong and powerful, some are humble and meek, and others…well…
In April of 1940, a baby was born in New Jersey. This boy was one of many born that day, but his story is much different. His name is much different. It’s a name that carries the weight of an absent father, a name that has a story of betrayal, deceit, and abandonment. His name is Philander Rodman. Think about those names. Some of you may think of one or two things, some of you have no clue what they mean. Philander is the memory of a philandering father. A father who had a lot of girlfriends and children. A father who went from one relationship to the other. The other name, Rodman, may remind us of Hall of Fame basketball bad boy Dennis Rodman. The same Dennis Rodman who had colored hair, wore a wedding dress in Sports Illustrated, and had numerous flings with Playboy models.
Philander Rodman is the father of Dennis Rodman. Philander was reminded his whole life about what his name meant. People who didn’t know him, would make remarks about his name. His mother ad grandmother would always make comments about the man who left them and broke all his promises. They joked about how many kids he had, and would often take their aggression out on Philander. All of this led to Philander being everything his name said about him. As of 2016, Philander James Rodman has 29 kids with 16 women. He currently lives in the Phillipines with his two wives. He has only met Dennis once since he left him and his mother when he was 8.
You see, Philander chose to live up to the name he was given. He was reminded over and over again about his father. His grandma and mom would talk about his father, and how they looked alike. Whenever Philander would mess up, he would hear them say “just like his daddy.” Its hard to outlive someone like that, when its all you here.
We all have names. Some of us know what Philander has gone through in his life. The weight that a name carries. Maybe it isn’t something bad, it could be the name of someone great, and there are expectations of greatness. I want to look at two particular portions of Scripture today. One was read for us in Ephesians and the other is found in Romans 8:14-17.
As we move through this teaching today, I want us to focus on this idea of adoption. It has meaning to us. Even if we are not adopted, or have never adopted anyone, we still know what it means. We are taken in, to a place that isn’t our own, loved and given a new name. No matter who we are, where we came from, or what happened to us, we are given new life. A new opportunity to be more than our name or our circumstances.
Romans 8:13-14 says “For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.” There is more to our portion of Scripture, but I want to start here. We all have something inescapable. Its this part of us that we are born with. This gross sinful nature that leads us to do things we really shouldn’t be doing. Up until some point in our life, this sinful nature is what leads us to get in trouble. You don’t have to teach children to be bad, you have to teach them to be good. We are born sinful. If we don’t teach our kids about the consequences of lying, they will continue to lie, and so on. Kids do what they can to protect themselves when they do something wrong. They don’t really have a moral compass that leads them to certain decisions. Some adults, unfortunately, still live this way. As children. Some, like Philander, cant move past all the weight that their names carry.
On August 20, 1979, a young teenage mom had an appointment for an abortion. Very few people knew. She felt alone and scared. She knew how God felt about it, but she didn’t know how she was going to take care of a baby. Abortions are expensive and she didn’t know how she was going to pay for it. She had a dad, but he was gone from her life for most of it and she didn’t know how to ask him. She spoke to him with guilty words and said that if he gave her the money then she would name her first born son after him. Feeling as though he owed it to his little girl, he gave her the money. No strings attached. Her father came from a family of wonderful people. His sisters and parents were amazingly Godly people, who lived only to serve Jesus. He was the black sheep who smoked, drank heavily, and slept around on his wife. He was never around for his three girls, and thought that he could buy their love. This teenage girl’s best friend had just had a son of her own a few months before. She also was unmarried and scared, but had decided to keep him. Two days before the abortion, this girl was scheduled in the nursery at church. Her friend brought her new son to church that day. As this girl contemplated the next few days as she sat in the nursery, she laid down next to this little boy and played. They smiled together, she fed him, and she finally laid him in her arms for a nap. In those moments, on that day, she decided that whatever would happen in her future, she wanted her baby to be a part of it. The next morning she cancelled her appointment, and seven months later, on March 30, 1980, she had her son. Even though she didn’t go through with the abortion, she had made a promise to her father that she would name her first born son after him. When the nurse came in later that day, she had her write Robert William Key on the birth certificate. Just like his grandfather. Robert, nickname Bobby.
This is only part of my story. This name, Robert (Bobby), has been significant in my life. Those who knew my grandfather, would always say how much I looked like him. They would tell me the not so great stories about him. When I was a teenager, and doing normal stupid teenage boy stuff, I would hear “He’s just like his grandfather.” The stories of the things he had done followed me around for a long time. At one point in my life, I had heard so many stories. I had heard so many people say that I was just like him, that I decided to be “just like him.” I mean, everyone always thought that about me anyways. So why not. In college I drank heavily, did more drugs than I can remember, and slept around. I was becoming exactly who everyone said I was going to be. I was my namesake. All the weight and history that it carried. All of the bad things. All the stories. I don’t have one good story about my grandfather.
Just like Philander, my grandfather was led by his sinful nature. To them, the world offered more than Jesus. I don’t know if Philander ever knew Jesus, but I know my grandfather did. It has taken me almost 35 years to change my name. Not in the legal sense of name changing. I have become what Romans and Ephesians both talk about. I am a son of God, adopted by my heavenly Father who has changed my story. I may have the same name as before, and the same story, but I am no longer defined by any of that. My adoption day continues to lead me closer and closer to my Father in heaven. He chose to make me one of his own, and I am a new creation! I am no longer led by my sinful nature, but by “the Sprit…because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God…I get to call Him ‘Abba, Father.’” I am His child.
Last Christmas I took one of those ancestry DNA tests. Im not so concerned about my family history, I just wanted to know what countries I came from. No big deal, right. A little of this, a little of that. With this kit I received a free year of ancestry.com. I spent a few days putting in the information I knew. I called my aunts and grandma to get a few dates correct. That’s about it. When you do this tree thing, the membership is connected to your email. Over the course of the last year, I’ve received a few emails from distant cousins in California and Texas. Blah, blah, blah. But…heres the next part of the story. Where this history that my name carries with it comes back into play. About a month ago I received an email from a woman named Dianna. She said that she had done an ancestry DNA about the same time I did one. As she was working through her tree, she found out some life-changing news. The man that raised her, the man she called dad, the man who had her same last name, wasn’t her real dad. My grandfather, 3 months after my mom was born, began a relationship with another woman named Kathryn. Kathryn got pregnant by my grandpa, while he was still married, and Kathryn was born on August 1, 1963. And…another daughter was born three years later. Kathryn married at the time, continued this relationship with my grandfather. On June 22, 1966, Joni was born.
My grandpa died in 2003, my senior year of college. 15 years ago. Until a month ago, no one knew about any of this. My name Robert (Bobby), has another brand new opportunity to neat me down. It has the chance to make me think that I am going to be just like that. That no matter what Ive done up to this point in my life, I can be reminded of who my namesake is and what he did.
Being back in my home division is a little strange at times. There are people here who remember me as this arrogant, selfish, insensitive little punk kid who was trying so hard to live up to everything his grandfather was, without even knowing it. I hear stories like “ I remember you when you…” “You remember that one time you…” The stories are never ending. There are also people here who have been hurt by me. And those who put their faith and trust in me, only to be disappointed in the end.
But here’s the thing. I have had every opportunity to live like Philander Rodman. I have had every opportunity to be just like my grandpa. There were times when I thought that’s exactly who I was destined to become. And then I came face to face with my Savior. A meeting with my heavenly Father who told me that I was more than my name. I was more than what the world said of me, more than anything that it could ever offer. I could continue to be a child led by my sinful nature, or, I could stand before The Judge, next to a Father, and have a name change. I could have a new life. I could have an inheritance that is beautiful and eternal. An inheritance that I do not deserve. Romans 8:17 says everything about who I am in Him “Now if we are children, then we are heirs-heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may share in His glory.” I am a child of God. Same face, same body, same name, but with a different story. A different history.
Who are you? Where do you live? Do you live in the shadow of a name, of a family history, of a past sin or regret? Are you who the world says you are, or are you who He says you are? The world holds you captive. Youre never going to be enough. Never pretty enough, smart enough, wealthy enough. Jesus says that you are more than any of that stuff. You are beautiful, intelligent, creative, rich. You are everything He is. You are more than a name. You are his child. Created to love and be loved.
Do you believe this? Do you really believe this? How will respond when people talk about your past. Or your present? Are you who everyone says you are or thinks youre going to be? Or are you a new creation? Can you boldly say “Youre right! I used to be the way. I accept that. But that’s not who I am anymore.” Live like Philander and my grandpa? Or live like a child of the King?
Today can be your adoption day. Maybe it’s a new adoption, maybe it’s an adoption that needs to go before the judge and be renewed.
