HoHum:
Psychology Today once asked 52,000 Americans, “What does it take to make you happy?” Their answers varied, but the interesting thing is that most of them talked about favorable circumstances instead of issues of the heart. The popular idea of happiness involves having the right circumstances. It’s what could be called “when and then” thinking. For instance:
When I get out of school, then I’ll be happy.
When I get a job, then I’ll be happy.
When I get maried, then I’ll be happy.
When I have children, then I’ll be happy.
When the kids leave home, then I’ll be happy.
When I am able to retire, then I’ll be happy.
Perhaps happiness is a wrong goal. At least not the way most people think about happiness.
WBTU:
Joy is much better goal because it describes a state we can have regardless of our circumstances
Joy is a choice. We choose to be joyful- often in spite of our circumstances. Right now, regardless of what we are facing in our lives, we are as joyful as we choose to be.
Life is difficult. Parenting is difficult. Marriage can be difficult. Work is difficult. There are many things that don’t go right and don’t go our way in life. If our joy depends upon everyhing going our way, we will be miserable for most of our lives.
As a hospice chaplain, I have been to see people who have joy in spite of their circumstances. How can that be? “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Romans 12:12. They know that they are going to a better place (hope) so they have joy in their afflictions.
The greatest instructions on how to be joyful can be found in the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus began his message with 8 ways to find joy and the first one is the most important. “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5:3, NIV.
Blessed- Sometimes translated as “Happy”- but it goes beyond the modern understanding of happiness. The idea is that if one has more money and more toys then one is more happy. This is a myth and untrue. This was even true in Jesus’ day. Literally to be blessed meant one is happy because of good fortune. However, to be poor is not good fortune. Must be internal- something that happens in spite of circumstances. Answering a question from Joann Moore. Can be translated like this, “Happy are those with the good fortune to be poor”- really what Jesus is saying in another sermon Luke 6:20. Sounds silly but that is what is being said
Poor in spirit- We might say that someone is spirited. Does being poor in spirit mean that one has to give up their personality or their spunkyness and have no backbone at all? This is the idea that says, “I am not worth anything. I can’t do anything. My makeup, personality, is unfortunately against me so just give up and don’t try.” No, we are all different and the Bible mentions that these differences are good. We need each other and some happen to have personalities that are hard to forget. Nothing wrong with this. To be poor in spirit simply means to be totally dependent on God. The poor are dependent on others to meet their basic needs. This is true humility; admitting that we don’t have it all together; that we haven’t arrived, that we havent learned it all; that we are a long way from perfection, and that we are not God, but dependent upon God. Jesus turns the popular idea of happiness upside down.
Instead of happiness a better word is joy. Joy and humility go together! They are twins, soul mates. If we want to have lasting joy in life, then we need to learn true humility.
Thesis: How can humility increase my happiness?
For instances:
Humility reduces stress
When we are humble we realize that we do not have all the answers. We realize that the world, and even the church, does not depend on us for its existence. Humility allows us to resign as the general managers of the universe. We can let God be God.
When we choose to humble ourselves, we are able to live with the tension between the real and the ideal- our ideal for marriage, our children, and our church, as opposed to the way things really are right now. We will always have that tension. Humility is accepting life with gratitdue even though things are not as they should be.
Interesting that the words human, humanity, humor, and humility all come from the same root word. Humility is, in essence, being in touch with our humanity. It is having a realitist view of both our strengths and our weaknesses.
Humility is also not taking ourselves too seriously. Humble people can laugh at themselves. Prideful people often are humorless people. They are too impressed with themselves or too insecure to laugh at themselves.
I like this description of Jesus by Bruce Marchiano- “Jesus smiled and Jesus laughed. Jesus smiled wider and laughed heartier than any human being who has ever walked the planet. He radiated good cheer. Jesus was a man of such merriment, such gladness of heart, such freedom and openness, than he proved irresistible. He became known through Galilee for His strength, the sparkle in His eyes, the spring in his gait, the heartiness in His laugh; the genuineness of His touch; His passion, playfulness, excitement, and vitality: His Joy! He made a dazzling display of love. He set hearts afire. He was an elated, triumphant man with an incredible quality of life... so different from the solemn religious types He constantly met.” I don’t know about that, well then, why did the children love him?
We need to be more like Jesus. When we walk in humble dependence upon the Lord, our stress goes down and our joy goes up.
Humility improves relationships
No one wants to be around arrogant people. Selfish, self absorbed people are an irritation. They wreck relationships and destroy fellowship. Because self centered people are unhapp;y, they make everybody else unhappy too.
On the other hand, all of us love being around genuinely humble individuals. When we are humble, we get along better with other people. Humility does not mean we think less of ourselves; we just think more about others! “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” Philippians 2:3, NIV.
When we are poor in spirit, it reduces our stress and improves our relationships because we are more inclined to ask for forgiveness when we are wrong. We do not have to be right all the time. It is easier to say the two hardest words, “Forgive me” or the three hardest words, “I was wrong” or the four hardest words, “I need your help.”
When we are walking in humility before the Lord, being who God made us to be and depending upon God, we are more immune to insults. They don’t bother us as much because our focus is on pleasing the Lord, not gaining the approval of others. Whenever we become extra sensitive to criticism, that is a sign that we have stopped walking in humility.
“Pride only breeds quarrels” Proverbs 13:10, NIV. Wherever there is contention and dissension, someone has a pride problem. “For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.” James 3:16, NIV.
Mac Davis wrote, “O Lord, it’s hard to be humble, when you’re perfect in every way” If anyone was perfect it was Jesus and look what he did. Jesus humbled himself by becoming a man and submitting even to death (Philippians 2:5-8) and how many have a relationship with Jesus?
Humility releases God’s power
Pride was the downfall of the Pharisees in Jesus’ day. They made a classic mistake of caring too much about what people thought of them. “How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet make no effort to obtain the praise that comes from the only God?” John 5:44, NIV.
James 4:6, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Notice that the word that is used here to describe God’s opposition to the proud literally means, “to place oneself in opposition” or “to battle against.” God does not ignore churches and indivuduals who are proud; he actively fights against them. Imagine the implications for the church: How can God bless a ministry or a church that is composed of or led by people who are proud? The fact that God is opposed to the proud but gives grace to the humble ought to cause us to reexamine our hearts and evaluate if we are part of the problem to the church’s health and growth?
Would we like to have God’s grace poured out in our life? The secret many times is to walk humbly with God, focusing on others and depending on God. God’s power is seen in our lives not because of who we are but because of who God is! The secret of strength is admitting our weaknesses. The secret of power is admiting helplessness. The secret of joy is humility. And the secret of victory is total surrender to God.
There is nothing that God won’t do for the person who denies himself/herself, takes up his cross and follows God. If we do, then the kingdom of heaven is ours. Repeat Matthew 5:3, NIV.
So what?
Donald Barhhouse says, “One of the first words learned by the traveler in India is “baksheesh.” Multitudes of begars hold out their hands and say this one word. Preaching through an interpreter, I had occasion to speak of salvation as the gift of God. I emphasized the word. It is a gift. I paused while my translator spoke his line. “Baksheesh, baksheesh,” I heard him say. The reason more people do not have salvation is because they are not willing to take their place among those who are poor in spirit; spiritual bankrupt, possessing nothing, wholly dependent upon the baksheesh of God, which he is so willing to give to those who come and accept.”
