INTRODUCTION
• SLIDE #1
• One of the things you may or may not have noticed when you read the writings of Paul is the fact that he generally starts off his letters with a great deal of theological content, then midway or so through the letter, he shifts gears to application.
• He takes the theological content and tells us how to apply the teachings on one’s life.
• Today as we continue with our series MASTERPIECE IN PROGRESS, we are going to move to a section of the letter to the church at Ephesus that will give us some important practice instruction in an area where it is desperately needed.
• Here Paul offers practical instructions about relationships. Within the family, he talks about the effect the gospel has between husbands and wives as well as parents and children (5:21–6:4).
• These instructions reveal several things to us, but mainly the good news that God is interested in our relationships and wants us to live out abundant life in every way.
• To be honest with you, some of this message will be difficult for some of us to hear because of past issues within our childhoods as well as past issues within our marriages.
• What I will lay out before you today is solid Biblical teachings, of which, you have to decide if you are going to listen and seek to apply, or are you merely going to tune me out and write this off because your husband, wife, children, or parents are not who they should be at this point in the relationship.
• I want to open with verse 21 from our passage because that verse sets the stage for the rest of the lesson this morning.
• SLIDE #2
• Ephesians 5:21 (CSB) — 21 submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.
• This command is part of what one who is filled with the Holy Spirit will do.
• To SUBMIT denotes subordination to those considered worthy of respect, either because of their inherent qualities or more often, because of their position.
• When there is no willingness to be submissive, anarchy can result.
• We also see in this foundational verse that submission is a two-way street.
• We are called to be submissive in the areas we will examine because of our reverence for Jesus.
• Today will be a REAL CHALLENGE for some here today, I am going to begin the challenge by asking you to stick with me and listen to the Word this morning, as well as considering the implications of that Word.
• Let’s turn to verses 22-24 in Ephesians 5 together.
• SLIDE #3
• Ephesians 5:22–24 (CSB) — 22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, 23 because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything.
• SLIDE #4
SERMON
I. Implications that submitting to Jesus has for a wife.
• HERE WE GO!
• In our society today, this is a tough passage to swallow. I remember being a YOUNG, DUMB husband hearing this passage.
• I would joyfully point out the passage.
• Actually, I am lucky to be still alive to tell this. ?
• Here are some things we all need to understand when it comes to this passage.
• First, the Biblical concept of being submissive is not a FORCED submission, it is voluntary.
• You do not have to even submit to God, but there is a consequence.
• I will tell you that you do not have to be submissive to your husband either, but there will a price you will pay in the relationship for not being willing to do so.
• Submission to the husband in no way makes you inferior, or less of a partner.
• This is about being obedient to Jesus.
• Submission does not mean BLIND OBEDIENCE, but rather, it implies a voluntary giving up of self-centered interests and agendas for the well-being of the other person. Submission does not mean that you are a doormat.
• Verse 23 tells us in the home the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.
• This means in the manner that the church takes her direction from Jesus, the wife is to take direction from her husband.
• The natural order of things is God-Jesus-husband-wife.
• SLIDE #5
• 1 Corinthians 11:3 (CSB) — 3 But I want you to know that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of the woman, and God is the head of Christ.
• In this passage, does it imply inferiority? I think not.
• Paul offers the motivation for the wife choosing to be submissive to her husband. And lest I forget it, this command is not for the women to be submissive to ALL men, just her husband.
• The motivation is found in verse 22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord,
• The appeal from Paul is for the wife to treat her husband like you would treat Jesus. In no way is the husband on the same level as Jesus, but the wife is called to do this because Jesus has asked her to do so.
• I know what you are thinking, YOU DO NOT KNOW MY HUSBAND. You are correct, but what I do know is he is not perfect.
• So how perfect does he have to be before you are willing to be submissive?
• Then I will also ask you, why are you not willing to be submissive?
• Is it that you know better than him? Is it pride?
• It could be that your husband is not being the spiritual head of the house. I can understand that one.
• The way I see this is that for the wife, making the choice to be submissive to your husband put you in a very vulnerable position.
• You have to trust he will not take advantage of you.
• For our single women, you need to hear me on this.
• If you do not respect a man enough to be submissive in the home to him, if you think he will take advantage of your submission, THAT MAN IS NOT THE MAN FOR YOU TO MARRY!
• This is for both married and unmarried women.
• Do you want to destroy a man? I will tell you how to do it in one easy step, treat him with no respect.
• Question EVERYTHING HE DOES, EVERY DECISION HE MAKES, every thought he has, ever plan he shares with you.
• God knows how men are wired, in verse 33, God tells women to RESPECT her husband. That is what God tells women to do WAY more often than to love their husband.
• You can guide a wayward husband with respectful discussion and behavior.
• By the way, a SMART husband will listen to his wife.
• Now let’s turn to men. I want you ladies to notice something.
• Too often, we place the most emphasis from this passage on a wife’s submission to her husband, and Paul does spend four out of the total twelve verses to explain what he means by this.
• Yet the majority of Paul’s instructions are to husbands; he spends seven out of twelve verses explaining to husbands their role to love their wives and lay down their lives for them as Christ modeled.
• SLIDE #6
• Ephesians 5:25–32 (CSB) — 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the Word. 27 He did this to present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless. 28 In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, 30 since we are members of his body. 31 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. 32 This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church.
• SLIDE #7
II. Implications that submitting to Jesus has for a husband.
• Whereas the wife put herself in a potentially vulnerable position, the husband is placed in a position of GREAT responsibility before God.
• Husbands, we will be held accountable for the home.
• So how do we make sure that our wives do not have to fear being taken advantage of in the home?
• 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her
• Husbands. Your job is to love your wife!
• You to have the type of love for her that leads you to ALWAYS do what is spiritually best for her.
• Agape love is not the romantic or sexual love, but rather, it is an intense, active, thoughtful goodwill that persuaded God to send His Son and it led Jesus to lay down His life for us so that we can have eternal life! John 3:16, John 10:10-15!
• We are to love our wives as Christ loved the church. Jesus loved the church so much that He laid down His life for the church!
• My wife will have ZERO problem being submissive to me (unless she has a spiritual or pride problem) if she KNOWS without a doubt that I love her in this manner.
• If she knows I will provide, protect, and that EVERY decision I make, will be to the best of my ability, to be what is spiritually best for her, she will be submissive.
• If I have a wife who is not submissive to me, maybe I need to look in the mirror to see if perhaps the problem is with me?
• Too many modern men and still selfish little kids, who think their wife is their cook, maid, and physical gratification toy.
• Men, do you want to wife to respect you, do you want your wife to take care of your needs? Then love her the way God commands and expects you to love them.
• I will be held accountable before God for the type of wife I have because it is up to how I treat her as to how she will see me.
• Men, do you feel your wife does not respect you? Act and live respectfully. Does she question all your decisions, try making better ones!
• It is far too easy to blame the wife for being an ice queen at night, to blame her for not respecting me. If it is her fault, then I have nothing to work on.
• I need to make sure she sees that I love her as Christ loved the church!
• Single guys. Hear me if you are with a woman that you do cannot love in that manner, no matter how hot she is, she is not the woman for you!
• Men are you having issues at home with your wife.
• I can almost across the board tell you it is because of your behavior and lack of responsible leadership that has caused it. There are a few exceptions, but you probably are not one of them.
• I am not going to dig into all the meat of this passage because of time, but suffice to say, that men, we have some work to do.
• Jesus did everything for the church so that He would be a blessing to the church.
• Husbands, it is time to grow up and to love your wife in such a way that she can trust you have her best interests at heart!
• Husbands and wives are extensions of each other. The husband is to love his wife like his own flesh, because she is, verses 28-31
• Let’s finish with a quick thought for the youth!
• SLIDE #8
• Ephesians 6:1–4 (CSB) — 1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, because this is right. 2 Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, 3 so that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life in the land. 4 Fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
• SLIDE #9
III. Implications that submitting to Jesus has for children.
• Youth, since you have a short attention span, let’s keep it REALLY short and sweet.
• You are called to honor your parents. To honor them means you value them for who they are.
• You do this by being obedient to them. You do this by being willing to hear under authority. Obedience is to be a habitual action. It pictures a readiness to listen to good advice given by your parents.
• Now, back to the men. Verse 4 lays the responsibility for fathers not to stir up the anger of our children.
• We are to be loving in fair when we have to discipline them.
• Fathers, you have to make sure to treat all your children equally, to love them all the same.
• They need to KNOW that their father loves them if they do not know that, your daughters will be promiscuous, and your sons will be angry for a lifetime.
• Fathers, if we are just going through the motions of empty religiosity, our children will be the first to spot our hypocrisy, and it will affect their future commitment to faith.
• According to LifeWay Research, around 70% of teenagers drop out of church between the ages of 17–19, but there are definite factors that contribute to their successful return to the church.
• “When teenagers see an active, practiced faith in their parents and other positive examples at church, they will stop being dropouts and start being disciples”
• (Ed Stetzer, “Dropouts and Disciples: How Many Students Are Really Leaving the Church?,” The Exchange [blog], Christianity Today, May 14, 2014, http://www.christianitytoday.com/edstetzer/2014/may/dropouts-and-disciples-how-many-students-are-really-leaving.html).
CONCLUSION
• God offers us a way to practice our faith in the home.
• Maybe your home is not what it should be. What are you going to do about it?
• Are you going to give up or are you going to get the help you need to fix it?
• Husbands. Believe it or not, your wife wants to respect you, she wants to be submissive to you, but she has to trust you.
• Start working on showing her how much you love her. She will come around, she married you for a reason.
• Take care of her needs and she will be there for you also.
• No matter what your home is like today, it can change tomorrow.
