JUST BE KIND - Kind Words
November 3, 2019
Ephesians 4:29-32 (p. 816)
Introduction:
I have to tell you one of my least favorite excuses to hear for horrible behavior is…“Oh, that’s just how they are!”
I can understand this excuse if you’re not a Christian or if we’re talking about squeezing the toothpaste from the middle instead of the end…but if we’re talking about someone who claims to follow Christ…or something “dead” serious in its consequences…like “Oh, he’s an ax murderer…but that’s just how he is!”…then that excuse just doesn’t make any sense to me.
And it didn’t make any sense to the Apostle Paul when he wrote his letter to the church at Ephesus…He had an expectation that if you’ve been born again in Christ then you would grow in your maturity to be more like Him.
EPHESIANS 4:14-25 (p. 815)
Can you grasp what God’s Word is saying here? Infants have no stability in their faith…people can influence them like the wind…like waves do a boat.
False words…deceitful words…schemes…move them away from the body of Christ and unity…
Instead, if we speak the truth in love, people will grow up…become mature and solid…and the church is unified.
The world and unbelievers think and speak in ways that separate people from God…there is darkness and ignorance…a hardening of hearts. There’s no sensitivity.
And then Paul says,
“That’s not the way of life you learned when you heard about Christ and were taught in Him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus.” (Eph. 4:20)
The reason that excuse of “Oh, that’s just how she is” or “that’s just how he’s always been” is a bunch of garbage when applied to “Christians” is because…“we are no longer the same in Christ.”
We’ve put off the “old self,” we’ve put on the “new self.” We’ve been made new, in the attitude of our minds. We’ve begun to speak truth with love. The filter that our words go through are the Holy Spirit and the needs of the body of Christ.
Why is this so, so important?
Jesus powerfully tells us…
I. A TREE IS RECOGNIZED BY ITS FRUIT
Listen to what our Lord says:
MATTHEW 12:33-37 (p. 683)
We would agree with this simple theology right? Only Jesus can make a tree good. He makes us good by the indwelling of His presence…His Spirit of holiness and righteousness, given to us at our new birth, radically transforms us. Death to life…darkness to light…sinners to saints.
What the Holy Spirit does within us is even described as “fruit.” “And the mouth always speaks of what the heart is full of” according to the Son of God.
It’s our words that will convict us of being good or bad trees. It's our words that will acquit us or condemn us.
[Listen guys and gals…I’ve got an apple tree in my backyard…it’s been there since before I was born. Every year I walk out and it’s covered in its fruit. I’ve got no doubt about what kind of tree it is. This is simply what Jesus and the Apostle Paul are saying…“A tree is recognized by its fruit.]
The tree that’s been made good by the gift of the Holy Spirit bears fruit…It’s recognizable.
GALATIANS 5:22-26 (p. 813)
Do you believe that love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control will be clearly evident in our words and conversations to people and about people?
Jesus clearly does. The Word of God plainly teaches this powerful truth. TREES are recognized by the fruit they produce. And for God’s people our words carry the evidence of our love for God and for others…
So what kind of accountability do we have for our conversations and speech? How much responsibility do we have to speak kindly?
II. IT’S OUR CHOICE IF WE GRIEVE THE HOLY SPIRIT OR OTHERS
Listen to how Ephesians chapter four concludes.
EPHESIANS 4:29-32 (p. 816)
Verses 29 and 30 both start like this: “Do not.”
Those are words none of us like, but especially when we’re young or immature.
[I was watching Oaklynn the other morning while Kari was at the doctor. She grabbed these two little foam Nerf balls off the ground and proceeded to jam them in her mouth. I looked at her and said, “Do not do that…you’ll get choked!!!” And for the next 4 minutes I had to chase her down as she continued to jam those things in her mouth. By the way…you can flush little Nerf balls down the toilet.]
As her Papaw I knew if she continued to do this it might choke her…hurt her badly…That “Do not” wasn’t a joke…I was dead serious about it.
Christ followers who engage in “unwholesome” talk do two horrible things…They tear down others and they grieve the Holy Spirit.
The Greek word used here for “unwholesome” is the exact same word Jesus uses to describe bad fruit…“sapros.” It literally means “rotten” or “putrid.”
Like if you found a baby bottle filled with milk under your seat after a month…the best biblical word to describe what you’d experience if you opened it would be “sapros.” “Rotten…putrid,” this is the word chosen by Jesus and Paul to describe our conversation if it tears people down or grieves the Holy Spirit.
Proverbs 18:21 says, “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
There are those who love the fruit of encouragement, comfort and edification. There are people who breathe life into our souls with the words they speak.
And there are people who speak words that divide, words of gossip, slander and criticism…words that cause the death of integrity and unity.
Both have fruit…one is from the Holy Spirit and one is rotten and putrid and from Satan himself.
James tells us “the tongue is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of ones life on fire, and is itself set on fire by Hell.” (James 3:6)
James goes on to say:
JAMES 3:9-18 (p. 848)
Singing praises to God on Sunday and then tearing down people on Monday truly shows what kind of wisdom dictates your actions. And that wisdom doesn’t come down from heaven. It grieves the Holy Spirit…It grieves others who hear it…It destroys churches and it’s unspiritual and demonic.
No wonder we hear, “Do not” let these putrid words be found coming from your lips…Do not grieve God’s Spirit…or the soul of someone made in His image.
Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, brawling and slander…along with every form of malice.
How do you get rid of all that putrid garbage?
You replace unwholesomeness with wholesomeness. You stop listening and participating in things that grieve God’s Spirit. You inspect the fruit produced by your crew and if its not wholesome…you change crews…“Do not be misled my brothers and sisters…bad company corrupts good morals.” (1 Cor. 15:33) As Eph. 4:27 says, “Don’t give the Devil a foothold.”
What are the 3 things that you can choose to do that changes the trajectory of your life and others?
III. BE KIND…BE COMPASSIONATE…BE FORGIVING
EPHESIANS 4:32 (p. 816)
Kindness flows from the heart…it’s an action and reaction to the needs of others.
It’s a heart that’s moved to buy the lady who’s struggling in front of you her groceries…It’s a choice to help instead of criticize the dad who’s doing the best he can with 3 kids at Chick fil a…Kindness is a response to hatred that brings peace instead of escalation. Kindness is not passing by…it’s getting off your donkey and helping the bloody, assaulted man in the ditch. It’s even the act of paying for his healing in a hotel room. Kindness is a revelation of the Holy Spirit listened to and acted upon…
Compassion is the springboard to do this. It comes from your heart…It’s a feeling of mercy instead of condemnation.
Compassion literally means to “put yourself in the skin of another” which is exactly what God did for us in Christ. “The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us.” (John 1:14)
And forgiveness is the key to it all when it comes to our words about others. Most putrid and rotten words come out of us because we want to hurt someone who’s hurt us…or disparage someone we disagree with…Forgiveness is the choice to love others instead of demanding payment for the hurt or perceived hurt…
Forgiveness is exactly what God did for us through His Son Christ Jesus. God chose kindness…and if we’ve received His kindness…so should we.
