Letting Go - Control
December 22, 2019
It’s not easy to let go of much . . . is it? It’s not easy to give up those favorite old sweatshirts that know every curve and twist of your body. Even though it’s pretty ripped apart. And if you get a new one, we tend to still wear the old one. Giving up distractions means I can’t watch TV and talk to Debbie at the same time. Nope, that doesn’t work!
Letting go of bitterness and anger and offering forgiveness is another one. I like being angry and bitter. Tis the season, ‘bah humbug.’ Yup, that’s what we’ve been looking at for the past 3 weeks. Next week, we’re going to end the year looking at what it means to let go of ourselves! That should be fun!
We’re in a series called Letting Go, and we’re talking about letting go of some of the things in this world that hold us back spiritually. Today, I’m going to focus on one simple thought. It’s not an easy one. Most of us struggle with it.
We’re going to let Luke 1 speak to us about letting go of - - - - CONTROL.
I’m curious, how many of you would honestly say that there’s at least one area of your life, that you love to control. Raise your hands up right now. No finger pointing at your neighbor.
As we move towards celebrating the birth of Jesus, I want to read a longer section of scripture from Luke 1. I’ll be reading from Luke 1:26-38 - -
26 In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, 27 to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. And the virgin’s name was Mary. 28 And he came to her and said, “Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you!” 29 But she was greatly troubled at the saying, and tried to discern what sort of greeting this might be. 30 And the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. 31 And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. 32 He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, 33 and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.” 34 And Mary said to the angel, “How will this be, since I am a virgin?” 35 And the angel answered her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be called holy—the Son of God. 36 And behold, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son, and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren. 37 For nothing will be impossible with God.” 38 And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her. - Luke 1:26-38
Some of you may be confused about something going on in your life. You’re asking, Why is this happening? I never thought I would experience this. Lord, I can’t handle this, I don’t know what to do. I want to take control. I need to figure this out. I need control. Mary was in that situation as well.
Did you know Mary quoted the Beatles. She said Let it be. Let it be to me according to your word.
Verse 29 tells us Mary was greatly agitated, disturbed, confused! And yet she says let it be. Let it be. Some of you may be thinking - this is the perfect message for my spouse. This is for my mother-in-law. I’m glad they’re gonna hear this one. You’re thinking, ‘I’m not controlling. I’m just aggressively helpful. I’m not controlling, I’m just thoroughly organized.’
Some of us want to control everything. Your kids know it. You want to control what they look like, where they go, who they hang out with, what they do, where they go to college, who they marry, how many kids they’re gonna have, how they’re gonna take care of you when you’re old. You want to control them.
We’re wearing out our spouses. How you chew, how you dress, what you say, what you want, where you go, how you load the dishwasher, how you vacuum.
We want to control what people think about us. Social media is your greatest weapon. You get to show them the life you want them to see, filtered, edited. It took you 37 attempts to get the Christmas photo by the tree. You almost gave away a kid and divorced your spouse, you were so mad at each other, but your hashtag is #blessed! I’ve been down that road.
The more you try to be in control, the more you fear losing control. The more you fear losing control, the more you seek control. It’s a vicious cycle. That’s why as we look at letting go of control . . . I want to give you just one idea.
It takes faith, but on the other side of your faith, you will always see the faithfulness of God, the God who is with you. Here’s the idea - You don’t always have the power to control, but you always have the power to surrender.
You don’t always have the power to control, you don’t always have the power to make him do what you want, to make her behave like you want, to get your marriage where you want it to be, to get your finances in line, to get your future lined up, to get your health where you want it, to have your kids doing everything you want them to do.
You don’t always have the power to control, but you always have the power to surrender.
An angel appeared to the virgin Mary, a lot of people hear this and think, well, it was easy for her, she was Mary. After all, there’s statues and cathedrals named after her. She’s the Virgin Mary. There’s even a pass in football called “hail Mary.” We need to understand, that when the angel appeared to her, she was an ordinary, everyday, teenage girl. It’s believed she was around 13 or 14, maybe 15 years old.
She had hopes and dreams just like any other little girl. She was dreaming about her future, about getting married. She didn’t have any options like we do. She couldn’t send a snapchat, or friend that cute guy on instagram. There wasn’t match.com. She’s got a limited community to choose from, and she would have been like any other girl. She wanted a guy with just a few simple, basic qualities.
She would have wanted a man who was strong, handsome, charming - - who drove a nice, newer reliable donkey. A man with dreams, a man with strong hands and a soft heart, someone who’s close to mom but not a momma’s boy. A guy that was bold, yet humble; decisive, yet flexible, well-groomed but not obsessive.
Someone who had life goals, yet was easygoing, someone that made her feel safe, someone who liked chocolate covered strawberries, long walks on the beach, and old movies. Most of all, she wanted a guy who was godly. This would be the man that would be the daddy to her children.
She had dreams. She’d meet him, and he would propose, and the photographer would get the perfect Instagram moment - and they’d get married and life would be perfect. She had hopes and dreams, and then the angel comes to her and said, no, no, no, God has something different for you. And she was greatly troubled / agitated.
Some of you had a plan, you had hopes and dreams. You were done at two kids, and you got a bonus round. You didn’t see that coming. Or the opposite, you hoped for three kids, and you found that you couldn’t conceive your first, and you were greatly troubled. You thought the job was the perfect job when you took it. It wasn’t! Now, you’re greatly troubled about paying the bills.
It could be a relational issue. Your marriage isn’t where you believe it’s supposed to be. There could be an empty chair at the Christmas table this year. The person was there last year, and for whatever reason, they’re not there this year. You never thought it would happen.
It could be a health issue. It could be financial. It could be any number of things. You’re troubled by the circumstances of life. You didn’t think this is the way it would be. You’re like Mary.
Mary didn’t know the end of the story. She didn’t know three decades later her first born would be on the cross and that He would die and then God would raise Him from the dead, and all the angels would sing, and He’d ascend to heaven, and He’d be seated at the right hand of God the Father. She didn’t know that.
And you don’t know what’s gonna happen in your particular situation. Mary had a choice to make. You don’t always have the power to control, but you always have the power to surrender. She had to make a choice between her dreams and God’s destiny. She had to make a decision between her plans and God’s purpose. She had to choose between her control and God’s calling.
And what I love about Mary is this. Even though she didn’t understand the plan, she trusted that her Father had a purpose. God’s doing something. You always have the power to surrender. What’s interesting to me, when I think about it, is there’s no such thing as partial surrender.
You’re either surrendered to Jesus, I give it all to you, Jesus. . . . OR - - you’re not. There’s no degrees of surrender. Like, I’m 87% surrendered. There’s no - I trust in Him to save my soul, but I still like to have my own way. I’m not giving up my past sins. They’re fun! There’s no I trust Jesus to make my past okay, but I can’t trust Him with my money. I trust Jesus to give me peace when I’m hurting, but not with my kids. These are my kids. There’s no partial surrender.
What is our desire to control rooted in? When I look at all the different areas of my life to control, my desire to control is rooted in a lack of faith.
The more I try to control life, the more I overestimate my ability to control, and the more I underestimate the power and the goodness of God.
It’s not easy, because everything in culture tells us, you’ve gotta make it happen. If it’s going to happen, it’s up to me to make it happen. I’ve gotta be strong. I’ve gotta make it happen.
But Jesus says something that is diametrically opposed to everything that culture says. In Matthew 16, listen to what Jesus said - -
24 Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.
25 For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.
26 For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? - Matthew 16:24-26
In essence, Jesus is telling us - - if you cling to your life, if you try to control your life, you’re actually going to lose it. But if instead, if you give up your life, if you surrender it for me, Jesus says, you will find it.
In other words, to fully follow Jesus is to surrender control. Let it be, Lord, Let it be. The interesting thing is this: surrendering control is not just a one-time decision. You know, back in 2012, I surrendered the control to Jesus, and it’s all good. It’s a daily choice, it’s a daily decision.
When we look at Mary’s surrender, what’s interesting is every time she chose to surrender something, she would experience God’s faithfulness. Think about it! You’re a virgin, and you’re gonna be pregnant. I’m just being honest with you - Guys - your girl friend comes up to you and says “I’m pregnant, but all’s good, the Holy Ghost got me pregnant!” Really, I think we’ve got problems.
Mary’s gotta tell Joseph this, and she says let it be. She surrenders. And what does God do? She doesn’t know! God doesn’t lay out His plan for her approval. But God sends Gabriel the angel, who appears to Joseph in a dream and says, this whole thing is legit. She surrenders, she sees the faithfulness of God.
People around town, you know they’re whispering. Oh, yeah, Mary - - I saw her donkey over at his house at two in the morning. We know what they were doing. And she’s shamed for this, and then what happens? The Holy Spirit confirms it to her relative Elizabeth. This is of God, and there’s comfort there.
You just think about Jesus missing at the age of 12. You ever had a kid missing somewhere, they’re panicking, and we surrender him to you. And where do they find Jesus? They find Him in the temple, teaching adults. Oh yeah, we forgot, He’s the Son of God. He does things like this. There you are, God.
When Mary’s giving birth, she’s nine months pregnant, riding on a donkey, the lights not on at the Motel 6. There’s no rooms. This isn’t ideal. She trusts God. He provides a stall, a cave, next to farm animals. Not ideal. Shepherds show up to worship. Oh, yeah, God is with us.
Herod, the king, gets word. Who’s this baby? We’ve gotta make sure He’s dead. Think about this. The king and all the forces want to kill your baby. Every day, Mary says, God, I trust you with my child. I trust you with my child. On the run, fleeing to Egypt, I trust you, I trust you, God.
How do you pay the bills when you’re on the run like that? I don’t know. But, Lord, I trust you. Three wise men show up and bring gifts. Gold, frankincense, and myrrh, to worship the Son of God. I may be reading into it, but I think gold will help you when you’re on the run. Surrender, faithfulness.
Fast forward. Jesus knows what’s going to happen to Him. He’s the Son of God. He’s in the garden of Gethsemane, and he’s agonizing, knowing what’s about to happen. He cries out to his Daddy, His heavenly Father, and Jesus asks if there’s any other way that God could remove this cup. Jesus is talking about the cup of suffering that’s coming. Daddy, is there another way? Then Jesus says this --
42 “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, YOUR WILL BE DONE.” - Matthew 26:42
That phrase YOUR WILL BE DONE - is the exact same Greek word His mother said.
They were both saying the same thing - - your will be done, Lord, not mine. And Jesus goes to the cross for you and I. Jesus could have acted and taken control. He could have called legions of angels to wipe out the Romans. Jesus submitted to the Father. He surrendered His Spirit.
Let me ask you a question. God left heaven and came to earth.
If there’s a burden on your heart, and I don’t know what it might be. It could be a relationship. It could be a marriage. It could be a child that you’re aching for. It could be a bad diagnosis. It could be that financial weight that’s crushing you. It could be a fear. It could be a hurt because of something that you’ve lost. It could be an addiction that you just can’t seem to beat. It could be the guilt that you’re carrying from something that you did that you can’t undo.
Whatever it is, I want you to give it to God. Give God the burden of what you’re trying to control.
Peter wrote in 1 Peter 5:6-7 -
6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, 7 casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.
What’s so special to me about the story of Mary is this, the angel appears to her, and what did the angel say? The angel said, the Lord is with you. He’s with you. Who is Jesus? He’s Emmanuel, which means God is with us. And I hope you’ll more than feel that today. I hope you will experience Him and believe that God is with you.
Here’s what I’ve had to learn over the years . . . I can’t control you, not at all. I would love it if I could talk you into giving your life to Jesus, to surrender everything to Him. I would love for everyone to say YES, I surrender all to Jesus. Here’s a promise, our God can do way more through your surrender than you could ever do through your control. He can do way more.
So, I’ve learned I can’t control you. In the same way I really can no longer control Joshua and Zachary. I can offer lots of suggestions and recommendations. But, when they’re off at school, I literally have little to no control.
So, I can’t force Jesus on them, as well as on you! I can’t control you. I can’t make it happen. All I really have is prayer. Not that prayer is a bad thing. But sometimes, if we could admit it, prayer seems so limiting, because we want to control life. We want to control every moment. We know what we want. It’s so difficult to surrender to God, isn’t it?
So, my prayer for you, for my boys, for Debbie and myself is the same . . . that we would surrender to the work and power of the Holy Spirit.
Only God’s Spirit can move you to surrender. You don’t always have the power to control, but you always have the power to surrender. I promise you, God can do way more through your surrender than you could ever do through your control.
