REALISTICALLY OPTIMISTIC
According to Statista, a leading survey company, in 2013, 50% of adult Americans considered themselves optimistic. Only 4% identified as pessimists and 43% said they were somewhere in between. 3% declined to identify as anything. I'm interested to know how often those 43% inbetweeners, would they say they look at the glass half full vs. half empty.
But I can understand the combination factor. I think we all can have times when we can go either way. But the question is, what is our dominant attitude toward things? I guess I would consider myself an optimist with pessimistic tendencies!
As we get ready to step into the new year, perhaps we can do something to shift our thinking to being optimistic more often. Go from being a part-time pessimist to being rarely pessimistic; realistically.
1) Pessimism.
The definition of a pessimist is, a person who tends to see the worst aspect of things or believes that the worst will happen. Pessimism is negative thinking. The glass is always half empty. The worst case scenario will always come to pass. I’m going to fail. And negative thinking turns into negative action. For as a person thinks; therefore he behaves.
If I believe I’m going to fail then I probably will. Self-fulfilling prophecy. If I look at myself or my situation this way then I probably won’t try in the first place. In this I deprive myself of the opportunity to succeed and climb out of the rut. If I always see the glass as half empty then I’ll never appreciate the fact that it’s half full.
Pessimism is pretty destructive. This is the thinking and behavior associated with the old nature; a life without the power of Christ. And it’s futile. Eph. 4:17-18, “So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts.”
"The futility of their thinking." Futile means useless, fruitless, unsuccessful, ineffective, wasted. These are terms that could easily be associated with pessimism. So, think of these verses with the mindset of pessimism. We must no longer live with pessimistic thinking. We need to get out of the darkness of what my pessimistic mind is doing to me. I need to understand how destructive it is.
I need to get away from the ignorance that it's not hurting me; away from the misunderstanding that pessimism is actually a benefit to me. Some pessimists think that negative thinking is protective thinking. "If I never get my hopes up I'll never be disappointed. If I think the worst will happen and it doesn't, that's good. And, if it does happen, then I won't be surprised."
That's misplaced realism. True realism hopes for the best but plans for the worst; they are optimistic about the future but understand that bad things can happen at any moment. But they don't dwell on the bad things; they aren't looking for them. If I go through life expecting things to go wrong then I will be miserable all the time.
I understand that when a series of bad situations happen to us we can be programmed to believe this is our lot in life, but we shouldn't be projecting the future based on the past. And sometimes when tragedy strikes we can lose hope that things will ever get any better. But if there's nothing within us to hold onto the hope that things can get better then what kind of life is that?
Pessimistic thinking is destructive thinking; there's no benefit to it. When my thinking is futile I turn my negative thoughts into negative actions and it’s just a vicious cycle that gets worse as time goes on. Think about some of the things that are associated with pessimism; things like anxiety, worry, fear, doubt, anger, depression, misery.
I don't see where there can be any positive terms associated with pessimism. Some people might think pessimism is a good defense mechanism but we need to understand that being optimistic does not make me vulnerable. Optimism is not living on cloud 9; it's being hopeful despite the circumstances.
2) Optimism.
The definition of an optimist is, a person who tends to be hopeful and confident about the future or the success of something. The pessimist looks at situations as hopeless while the optimist has the hope that things can get better. A pessimist can change their outlook to become more optimistic. But that will take a transformation of the mind.
Romans 12:2a, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
Thinking positively doesn’t just happen automatically; we have to choose it-we have to work at it. We need to make the choice to no longer think negatively but rather renew our thinking; exchanging negative thoughts for positive ones. But first we have to believe that we can do this. I don't care if you've been a pessimist all your life; if you're a Christian then the Holy Spirit can transform your thinking.
In 2nd Cor. 10:5, Paul talked about taking every thought captive and making it obedient to Christ. We can take those negative, pessimistic thoughts and lasso them; render them ineffective-keep them from becoming destructive-keep them from becoming an action.
Then they can be replaced with something constructive; something positive-something Christlike. We might not be able to keep a negative thought from entering our minds but we can keep them from renting space in our heads and wreaking havoc in our lives.
But that doesn't mean we won't ever struggle. In Psalm 13:2, David asked, "How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?"
Have you ever felt like this? David wrestled the thoughts that were plaguing him. Many of us can relate to feeling like you are in a wrestling match with your thoughts. You counter a negative thought; try to push it out of your mind and you're successful for a minute and then it comes back. Back and forth you go; the fight rages on. And by the end you're exhausted and frustrated.
But there is hope. At the end of that same Psalm David is found saying, 5-6, "But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me."
Here is David's optimistic response. He trusted in the Lord, despite the pressure of the enemy. His heart rejoiced in God's salvation despite his negative thoughts. He would sing to the Lord despite having sorrows. He knows the Lord has been good to him even though he was currently experiencing discouragement.
When we find ourselves wrestling with our pessimistic thoughts, we can take them captive and turn them into thoughts about Jesus. And by doing so my mind will be transformed; instead of routinely thinking negatively my pattern of thought can be positive. Positive thoughts turns into positive action.
Paul was a visionary. He had his eyes on the prize; he had the goal in mind. He had a positive focus on God’s will for his life and he set about doing it. Were there obstacles; yes. But his focus wasn’t on the obstacles as much as it was on the objective. The ones who make an impact in life are the ones who keep their focus on what stands to be accomplished; not what stands in the way. Trouble does not extinguish their fire; in fact often times it fuels it. Paul knew the power of positive thinking.
Phil. 4:8, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Let's not forget that Paul wrote these words while he was in prison. Here he could've easily developed a pessimistic mindset; but he didn't.
If we were to truly put this formula into practice we would be able to counter all negative thought. Everything we could think of that is positive will fit into one of these categories. And in all this we understand that the power of positive thinking leads to the power of positive doing.
Thinking about what is true can lead to doing what is true. Thinking about what is noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy will motivate us to do the very things that fit into these categories. And the example and impact we can have because we are positive thinkers and doers is immeasurable. That's the power of positive; that's the benefit of optimism.
3) Realism.
We have optimism, we have pessimism and then there's realism. Maybe you've heard people say, "I'm not an optimist or a pessimist; I'm a realist." What is realism? It's accepting a situation as it is and being prepared to deal with it accordingly. This is a good approach to things.
But there's a misconception if one thinks you can't be both an optimist and a realist. The idea that an optimist has their head in the clouds while the world caves in around them is not true. That's called denial; not optimism.
And the misconception that a realist is a pessimist is wrong too. The realist isn't projecting doom and gloom, they're dealing with the doom and gloom when it comes. To state the reality of the situation isn't a negative focus; it's a realistic focus. However, if I exaggerate it, making it out to be worse than it is, or, if I minimize it and make it out to be better than what it is while ignoring the facts, then I'm being unrealistic.
Optimism looks at the bad situation and tries to look for and encourage a positive outcome. They understand what's really going on, but they believe things can get better. They look for something positive in the negative situation. Sometimes we think that things are hopeless because our situation is bad; it will never get any better than it is now. An optimistic realist takes a situation and seeks to make the most of it.
Jer. 29:4-13, "This is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: “Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease.
Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.” Yes, this is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says: “Do not let the prophets and diviners among you deceive you. Do not listen to the dreams you encourage them to have. They are prophesying lies to you in my name. I have not sent them,” declares the LORD.
This is what the LORD says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
The Israelites had been taken into captivity to Babylon. Their circumstances were not ideal. It was going to be 70 years before deliverance would come. They had some choices to make. Would they have a miserable attitude the whole time or would they make the most of it? God wanted them to accept the situation he allowed them to be in and realize that they could prosper in it.
John Mayes writes, “All believers are invited to discover abundant living. It is available to all God’s children, no matter what their circumstances are in life. This is a hard concept for many Christians to accept. Many assume the abundant life depends on circumstances, or fate or luck, or their bank account, or their status in life, or their health.
Wealth, power, status, and worldly pleasure have nothing to do with living the abundant life. As you look around this world, you will notice many who have far less than you or I, but have overcome their situations of poverty, physical limitations, abuse or other difficulties and discovered the abundant life that Jesus has promised.”
No matter what your resources are, no matter where God has you, you can prosper. Living the abundant life is not dependent on your circumstances, it’s dependent on your attitude. Seek, find, love and serve the Lord with all your heart, no matter what, and you can be living the abundant life that he desires for you. This is how an optimistic realist approaches a situation and in doing so, reaps the rewards of determined effort.
It’s easy to have the wind taken out of our sails. It’s easy to think we can’t do something. We can be a victim of bogged-down thinking to where we're already convinced that 2020 will be more of the same-old-same-old. We need a new outlook; one that’s filled with optimism.
Think of where our world would be if certain people listened to negativity. "Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You’re crazy."--Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist in his project to drill for oil in 1859.
"This ’telephone’ has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us."--Western Union internal memo, 1876.
"Everything that can be invented has been invented."--Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899.
"So we went to Atari and said, ’Hey, we’ve got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, what do you think about funding us? Or we’ll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary; we’ll come work for you.’ And they said, ‘No’. So, we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, ‘Hey, we don’t need you. You haven’t got through college yet.’"--Apple founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get Atari and H-P interested in his and Steve Wozniak’s personal computer."
We need to be visionaries; forward thinking Christians. I’m not talking pipe dreams; I’m talking passionate, determined minds that contemplate what can be accomplished through hard work and determination. Christians who are ready to take an idea and run with it-not in a scattered, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants way, but in a planned, well thought out way.
Proverbs 21:5, “The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.” To be diligent means I am hard-working but careful in how I do it. As opposed to the hasty person who may have a decent idea but doesn’t think it through and it comes to nothing. A new outlook needs to be tempered with conscientious wisdom. It’s good to be passionate but it needs to be controlled-realistic optimism.
"Haste leads to poverty". When our pessimistic wheels start turning we can talk ourselves out of taking advantage of a good opportunity. When we don't try because we're afraid to fail we need to understand that we really don't fail when we try. Many successful people had many unsuccessful attempts prior to getting it right. But when it didn't work out they learned what not to do; which led to their success. So we need to believe that God can and will do great things through us; we just have to get out there and try.
Ecc. 11:4, “Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever looks at the clouds will not reap.” What this means is if you plan on waiting for conditions to be favorable before you start then nothing will be accomplished. You have to start where you’re at and trust God to get you where you need to be. Why not you, why not Cornerstone, why not Syracuse?
So, have you given any thought to where you fit in with taking Cornerstone to the next level in 2020? What ideas do you have? Have you asked yourself, “How can I bring more people to church; how can I make a difference in people’s lives?” That’s what I want us to be thinking about for the new year. We need to be mindful of and take advantage of the opportunities that are in accordance with the Lord’s will and timing. It means being in tune with and in step with the Holy Spirit so that we can turn all these opportunities into successes.
With that said, we have to be careful that we don't fall into the trap of performance. If we get caught-up in accomplishing we can become perfectionists and lose sight of what’s most important. When we set out to do something and mess-up along the way or don’t do something exactly right or a certain project doesn’t bring overnight success we can become discouraged and want to give up as well as get down on ourselves and beat ourselves up over our set-backs. This isn’t healthy and it won’t produce the determination we need to persevere and press on towards reaching God’s goals.
So, let's push pessimism aside and move forward as an optimistic realist-seeing the reality of the situation but believing in the ability to succeed despite it.
