Seeing Yourself Through His Eyes
#20/20 Vision
Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to be baptized by John. But John tried to deter him, saying, “I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?” Jesus replied, “Let it be so now; it is proper for us to do this to fulfill all righteousness.” Then John consented.
As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting on him. 17And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”
Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.” Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”
Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. “If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down. For it is written: “ ‘He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’”
Jesus answered him, “It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’” Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.”
Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’” Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.
– Matthew 3:13-4:11
Prayer…
OKAY – welcome to week 3 in our series, ‘20/20 Vision’
AND REMEMBER
This series is all about having visual acuity (having clarity of vision) in 6 of the most important areas of our lives…
Jesus, The Church, Ourselves, Our Relationships, Our Work and Our Assets.
NOW – so far we have talked about…
• Seeing Jesus For Who He Is
• Seeing The Church As The Hope Of The World
AND LISTEN – if you missed either or both of those conversations, you really should check them out online, because these are two areas in your life where you must have 20/20 visual, visual acuity.
GET IT?
NOW – this morning, we are going to talk about…
Seeing Yourself Through His Eyes.
AND YOU KNOW – I have really been looking forward to this conversation all week…
BECAUSE – the truth is that my visual acuity (how I see myself) at times in far from the 20/20 Vision that God wants me to have.
OKAY – let’s do this…
NOW THERE – are 5 points in your notes this morning…
The first is; .
I. What We See…
SO – did you take a look at yourself in the funhouse mirror I have hanging up on the wall in the foyer?
AND - how did you look?
YOU KNOW - I have always thought that those kind of mirrors, are fun…
(and I know that I am not the only one… Yesterday one of elders Tom Z outside the office door doing some crazy things with his arms and body…)
AND - to be honest, after we attached it to the wall on Friday I have stood in front of it many times…
AND LISTEN – if you looked in that mirror, I have some good news for you… “It’s not you, it’s the mirror”
YOU SEE - it is a distortion of reality…
OKAY – throughout this message, whenever I say;
“It’s not you” - I want you to say, “It’s the mirror”
LET’S DO - a practice run…
UNDERSTAND - you don’t really look that crazy…
You’re not that short; you don’t have 2 heads and your arms are not 6 feet long…
YOU SEE – these mirrors are curved…
AND BASICALLY – when they curve in… you get stretched… when they curved out you get squished…
AND – when you have curved in and curved outs… you get squished and stretched..
AGAIN - It’s fun to look in these kind of mirrors…
HOWEVER – there is another mirror that is not so fun to look at… OKAY HERE’S THE DEAL…
I am convinced that most people today have a distorted image of themselves…
YES - I am convinced that when most people look in a mirror, when they look at themselves… they do not see who they really are.
AND – I am also convinced, that what many people do see…
THEY - do not like all that much.
YOU SEE - I agree with what Brennan Manning in the forward of his book, ‘A Glimpse of Jesus’ (yeah, always read the forward to books) - that not liking what we see when we look at ourselves… (something that he calls ‘self-hatred’) is at epidemic proportions in our world today…
QUESTION MGCC…
WHAT - do you see when you look in the mirror?
WHAT - do you see when you look at yourself?
LISTEN - chances are that what you see is distorted.
BUT – remember…
“It’s not you – It’s the mirror”
The next point in your notes is;
II. What It Causes
AND – basically what this distorted image of ourselves causes is shame.
NOW - in my studies for this message I read an awesome book written by Lewis Smedes, called, “Shame & Grace, Healing The Shame We Don’t Deserve.”
(a professor of integrated studies in the graduate school of phycology at Fuller Theological Seminary)
Checkout what he said about shame.
“Shame comes when no one else is looking at you but yourself and what you see is a phony, a coward, a bore, a failure, a dumbbell, a person whose nose is too big and whose legs are too boney, or a mother who is incompetent at mothering and, all in all, a poor dope with little hope of ever being an acceptable human being.
The feeling of shame is about our very selves, not about some bad thing we did or said but about what we are. It tells us that we are unworthy. Totally unworthy.
It is not as if a few seams in the garment of ourselves need stitching; the whole fabric is frayed. We feel that we are unacceptable. And to feel that is a life-wearing heaviness.
Shame-burdened people are the sort who Jesus had in mind when he invited the ‘weary and heavy burdened’ to trade their heaviness for His lightness.”
UNDERSTAND – a lot of people when they look in the mirror; when they take a look at who they are…
FEEL – shame. FEEL – unworthy. FEEL – unacceptable.
AND – they live in fear.
FEAR – that they will be rejected…
FEAR – that they one day will be put on the scales, weighed and found wanting…
NOW IN - a chapter called, ‘A Very Heavy Feeling,’ Smedes lists some feelings, that people have expressed to him and that he has felt himself from time-to-time.
PERHAPS - you have had some of these same feeling about yourself… (I know I have…)
OKAY – so, go ahead right now and take a look at yourself…
What do you see?
How – did you feel about what you see?
OKAY - here’s Smedes list…
• I sometimes feel as if I’m a fake
• I feel if people who admire me really knew me they might have contempt for me
• I feel inadequate; I seldom feel as if I am up to what is expected of me
• When I look inside myself, I seldom feel any joy at what I am
• I feel inferior to the really good people that I know
• I feel as if God must be disgusted at me.
• I feel flawed inside, blemished somehow, dirty sometimes
• I feel as if I just cannot measure up to what I ought to be.
• I feel as if I will never be acceptable.
UNDERSTAND – when we persistently feel any of the feelings that are expressed in this list (or feelings like them) what we are feeling is shame.
AND - what we are afraid of is rejection…
AND AGAIN - Shame is not about some bad thing we did or said but about who we are. Shame tells us that we are unworthy and unacceptable.
OKAY – here’s the deal…
#1 – I’m convinced that a lot of people in this world (and maybe even in this room) don’t feel all that good about themselves…
AND… #2 – I’m convinced that not one of us feel as good about ourselves as we should..
YOU KNOW – I think, the early 20th century comic Charlie Chaplin may have been right; when as a sad old man, he gave a deep sigh and said; ‘The trouble with the world is that we despise ourselves..” Kind of depressing… isn’t it?
YES – when most people look in the mirror of who they are…
They don’t like what they see.
AND - what they see makes them feel unacceptable and they fear rejection…
BUT - I got have good news for you…
What you see is not who you really are.
UNDERSTAND – it’s not you it’s the mirror…
THE NEXT point in your notes is;
III. Why We See It…
WHY – when we look at ourselves is the image so often distorted? LIKE - what kind of things cause us to look squished, stretched and distorted when we look at ourselves?
THERE - are many…
LET - me share just a few.
A) Secular Culture
Distorts how we see ourselves…
UNDERSTAND - our culture basically tells you that in order to be worthy and acceptable (in order to NOT look squished, stretched and distorted)… YOU MUST - must look good, and you must have the goods.
IN OTHER WORDS – you are worthy & acceptable;
• if you’re good looking
• if you can slam dunk a basketball, hit a 3 pointer, knock the ball out of the park or play in the NFL
• if you have a DR before your name or a PHD after your name
• if your record goes platinum
• if you drive an expensive car, live in a huge house
• if you make a lot of money
QUESTION – where does this distortion leave the average person?
I THINK – we know where at a place where they always feel like they;
• are not good looking enough… can’t do enough
• don’t have enough… and haven’t accomplished enough
UNDERSTAND - too often we base our self-worth on what the world views as valuable.
• SO - the world thinks that money is a barometer of value, and if we do not have it in great amounts we feel bad about ourselves.
• Physical beauty has almost become a religion unto itself, and those without it feel no value in a society that judges by the looks on the outside.
• In this age of the celebrity, fame is often used to determine who is to be esteemed and who is to be shown the basement.
UNDERSTAND MGCC - the more we focus on the world’s standards and values, the more negative we will feel about ourselves.
AGAIN - it’s not you it’s the mirror…
UNDERSTAND - one reason you look stretched, squished and distorted is because secular culture distorts how you see yourself… AND – so does;
B) Unaccepting Parents…
YOU KNOW – parents can be pretty crazy and they can say some pretty crazy things.
I’ve been a parent for almost 36 years…
AND - some of things that I have said as a parent I would never have imagine in my ‘saner’ days that words like that would come out of my mouth NOW - this week I found an article online called
40 things parents should not have to say to their kids, but do…
• Stop licking yourself.
• Why are you eating boogers?
• At what point did you think it was a good idea to poop in the front yard?
• Wearing underwear isn't optional. You must wear underwear.
• When you shower you need to use soap, every time!
• We don't pee on our friends.
• It isn't necessary to name your poops. Just flush the toilet.
• I understand that you love your fish, but you cannot snuggle him.
• If you keep putting LEGOS up your nose, you won't have enough pieces left to finish the kit.
• What did you think the bottom of the shoe was going to taste like?
• Don't be sad. Accidents happen. I pee when I sneeze.
• We go to bed every night. I don't understand why you are shocked. We went to bed last night, the night before that, and the night before that. This is not new information.
• Yes I will love you even if you grow up to be a dinosaur. I promise.
• Do not put the dog in a choke hold. She does not like that. That is why she runs away from you ever time she sees you.
• I love you, but go away.
• I know she was mean to you, but you can't stab her with a Lincoln log. Lincoln logs are not weapons.
• I don't cook vegetables because I hate you. I cook them because I love you.
• Get in the car. Get in the car. GET IN THE CAR!
• Buckle your seat belt. Buckle your seat belt. BUCKLE YOUR SEAT BELT!
• Did you really just ask me what happens when I get to three?
• Take your food out of your pants.
YES – parents can say some crazy thing, funny things and insane things… AND – they can also say some pretty cruel things, some image distorting things…
• Why can’t you be more like your brother
• Can’t you do anything right
• I wish you were never born
• You always disappoint me…
• You will never amount to anything
• I can’t wait until you grow up and get out of here
• Yeah I’m glad I married your mom but it’s too bad you had to part of the bargain
• I never wanted you in the first place
WHY – do you look squished, stretched and distorted when you look at yourself? Many times it’s because your parents have distorted how you see yourself..
UNDERSTAND – parents are a major cause of the distortion that we see when we look at ourselves..
AND – basically what parents are saying in this distortion is, “I reject you, I disown you…”
In a chapter called; ‘How Parents Shame Us’ Smedes writes;
“A man I know disowned his children. When I learned what he had done, I thought that he had decided not to leave his children any of his money, of which he had more than his share, after he died. But this is not what he really meant. He meant to purge them from his life, make it official that he despised and rejected them.
Disowning a child is the sure way to get a child to feel that he is not worth owning. The tragedy of being disowned is compounded by the fact that very decent people disown their own children. They may not do it totally, and they may not tell anyone about it. They may do it in bits and pieces, with facial expressions, chiding voices and pious rebukes, without ever saying, “I disown you.” However they get the message across to their children as clearly as if they announced it in the newspaper.”
NOW – in order to understand what it means to disown a child we need to first understand what it means to own a child.
YOU SEE – owning a child has nothing to do with possessing and controlling them…
It’s more about a commitment of unconditional love that tells the child that they will never be rejected or despised.
AND - owning a child is expressed in 3 ways…
• By taking responsibility for them and their needs
• By feeling pride and by eagerly letting the world know, hey this is my kid
• By finding joy in having them in your life
UNDERSTAND – our world is full of people who have been abandoned by one or both parents…
AND – the fact that their parents didn’t…care enough about them to take responsibility for caring for them distorts the image they have of themselves..
AND – that image is also distorted when parents let their know that they are not proud of them or that being proud is constantly tied to their performance… LIKE…
WHEN THEY - hit a homerun, get a good grade, make the team, get into that prestigious college…
“that’s my son, that’s my daughter…”
HOWEVER WHEN – they make mistakes and fail…
They are no longer proud but rather they are ashamed and embarrassed…
AND – they don’t really want to claim them…as their kids…
AND LISTEN - parents further distort the image a child has of themselves, by simply showing no joy in their existence.
When they make it clear that they would rather not be around them…
YES - unaccepting parents can make us look stretched, squished and distorted…
BUT LISTEN - “It’s not you it’s the mirror“
I don’t know but maybe someone in this room needs hear some truth this morning, needs to hear things like…
• It was not your fault
• You were and not are not unlovable
• You are good enough
• You are not a mistake
• You can make something of your life
• You don’t have to be like anyone else to matter
• Who you are is a good thing
• What they said was untrue – what they did was wrong… and it is on them, not on you
Another cause of image distortion is…
C) Graceless Religion
(ever experience it?)
UNDERSTAND…
Graceless religion tells us that we have to live up to certain rules, rituals and practices in order to be worthy and acceptable. Graceless religion creates a false view of God…
AND LISTEN – this false image of God takes shape in our minds… AND THEN WE - begin to project this image on to the true God.
AND MGCC – this projection creates a God who is almost impossible to please and who is nearly always disappoint with us.
UNDERSTAND
Religion without grace ties shame around our souls, like an anchor that takes us down and never lets us up to take a breath.
QUESTION…
• Do you feel like God is always disappointed with you?
• Do you feel like you never measure up?
• Do you feel shamed sometimes to be in His presence?
• Do you feel that He is always angry at you and probably doesn’t even like you?
“It’s not you – it’s the mirror”
Another source of your image distortion is;
D) Guilt
YOU SEE – guilt basically says, “I did, therefore I am.”
Guilt says one bad act defines who we are…
BUT THIS - makes about as much sense as hammering one nail makes you a carpenter…
UNDERSTAND – some people (and maybe you are one of them) WHEN THEY - look in the mirror of who they are…
ALL – they see is their sin, their failure and mistakes.
BUT LISTEN – no matter what you’ve done…
And you may have done some pretty bad stuff…
No matter you have done, you are NOT your sins and failures.
“I am not my sin and failures!”
LISTEN – you will never find who you are by looking in the mirror of your last mistake.
God doesn’t see you through the lens of your mistakes!
He see you through the lens of His grace.
OKAY – one cause of our image distortion…
E) Compulsive Comparison
UNDERSTAND – countless people in our culture suffer from the disease of compulsive comparisons..
AND – when you have this disease the image you have of yourself is distorted because you are constantly comparing yourself to others.
UNDERSTAND – when you compare…
• How you look
• What you have
• Where you live
• What you know
• What you’ve accomplished
• What you do
To other people your vision of who you are will be distorted
QUESTION – has anyone ever compared yourself to other people?
NOW – I have said this many times before, but it bears repeating again and again…
More than any other time in history, we live in a culture of incessant comparison.
I MEAN – (through media… social and traditional) we have instant access to the lives of those we know, those we don’t, those we can’t stand, those we wish we were, those we’d give anything to measure up to.
Well, we don’t exactly have access to their lives. We have access to the parts of their lives they’d like us to see.
We have access to their highlight reels.
“It’s not you – it’s the mirror”
OKAY….
Secular culture, unaccepting parents, graceless religion, guilt and compulsive comparison.
ARE - some of the things that distort how we see ourselves… NOW - there are others things we could also talk about like; mistreatment by other people (especially those closest to us); unrealistic expectations of who we should be.
BUT – I think you get my point…
The image we have of ourselves like the image we see in the mirror on the wall in the foyer is distorted…
AND – here’s the bottom line… these things make us feel a lot like Cinderella felt B.P.C.
NOW – we all know the story of Cinderella. She had a wicked stepmother and some very wicked and ugly step sisters who put the ‘N’ in nasty and the ‘C’ in cruel.
These wicked women, made Cinderella their servant and they constantly put her down… I MEAN – they were so relentless – that they were able to convince Cinderella that she would never be anything more than a hand-maid.
NOW – I don’t know about you but when I looked at Cinderella (even as a child), I couldn’t help but think…
“Doesn’t she see how beautiful she is? Can’t she see how different she is from those ugly step-sisters both inside and out? Why doesn’t she just look in the mirror, and see who she really is?”
BUT TRAICALLY – the voices of her step-sisters and step mother were much too loud.
THEREFORE – Cinderella believed that she was not good enough, and that she would never be anything more than a servant.
AND – she also believed that the only chance she would have to go to the ball was if she had some costume to hide behind, to cover up who she really was. An outfit to put on.
AND - her ‘fairy god-mother’ provides just the costume…
BUT – the whole time Cinderella was at the ball she was watching the clock. AND when it struck midnight, she ran out of there, as fast as she could for fear of being exposed for the homely house maid she believed that she was.
MGCC – like Cinderella we have an enemy that whispers in our ears and shouts deep in our hearts that we are not worthy…
AN ENEMY – who uses many things to distort how we see ourselves…
AN ENEMY – who tells us that we are not worthy or acceptable as we are…
AN ENEMY – who is more cruel then those step-sisters who shouts in our hearts that all we are and can ever hope to be is a homely hand maiden.
“It’s not you, It’s the mirror”
UNDERSTAND – 2,000 years ago Jesus came to remove all those distortions…
So that we could see ourselves through His eyes!
He came to tell us…
“It’s not you – it’s the mirror”
AND – the reason that He can is able to do this for us…
IS – because as the next point in your notes says; He was
IV. The One Whose Image Was Not Distorted
UNDERSTAND – when Jesus looked into the mirror of who he was he did not see a distortion like Cinderella saw and like you and I see…
INSTEAD - Jesus saw clearly who He was, every single time he took a look.
WHY – is that?
WHY – did Jesus see himself so clearly?
WHAT – was it that made Jesus so sure of who He was…
NOW - I am convinced that the key to understanding this is found in the passage that I read from Matthew chapter 3 as we began this morning.
REMEMBER – Jesus’ baptism and temptation…
OKAY - Jesus who is without sin stands in line with sinners to baptized.
AND - when His turns comes, His cousin John kind of freaks out… YOU SEE – John knows 2 things… He knows who Jesus is…
AND – He knows who he is…
SO – John says, “Jesus this doesn’t seem right, I shouldn’t be baptizing you… You should be baptizing me…”
AND – Jesus replies, ‘No John you are wrong this is exactly the right thing to do” AND – Mark records these words;
As Jesus was coming up out of the water, he saw heaven being torn open and the Spirit descending on him like a dove. And a voice came from heaven: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.” - Mark 1:10,11
Henry Nouwen in his book, “Jesus A Gospel.”
It’s a pretty awesome book that looks at the Gospel of Jesus through the words of Nouwen and the art of Rembrandt.
“I very much believe that the core moment of Jesus’ public life was the baptism in the Jordan, when Jesus heard the affirmation, “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.” That is the core experience of Jesus. He is reminded in a deep way of who he is.
The temptations in the desert are temptations to move Him away from that spiritual identity. He was tempted to believe He was someone else.
• You are the one who can turn stone into bread.
• You are the one who can jump from the temple.
• You are the one who can make others bow to your power.
Jesus said, “No, No, I am the one loved by God.”
I think His whole life is continually claiming that identity in the midst of everything. – Henri Nouwen
WOW – that is so power!
“No, No, I am the one loved by God.”
I think His whole life is continually claiming that identity in the midst of everything.
UNDERSTAND…
WHEN - the Father ripped open the sky,
WHEN - the Spirit descended like a dove…
AND WHEN - the Father shouted form the sky…
“You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.”
Jesus was given a mirror that if He would continue to look in… would NEVER allow the image of who He really was to ever be distorted…
UNDERSTAND….
• When the devil tempted Him,
• When the people rejected Him,
• When His own would not receive Him
• When they wanted to make Him a worldly king
• When they praised Him for His miracles
• When the leaders turn against Him
• When a friend betrayed Him
• And when everyone abandoned Him
Jesus still knew who He was.
He was never tempted to be someone else.
No, No, I am not…
• the rejected one
• a worldly king
• the one who people praise when their bellies are full and miracles flow
• the one everyone abandons…
NO - I am the one loved by my Father.”
LISTEN – the only thing that Jesus let define who He was, the only mirror He look in to see Himself, was the love of the Father!
What did Jesus see? Who He really was…
What did it cause? It caused Jesus to feel worthy and accepted with no fear of rejection
Why did Jesus see it? Because the love of the Father was the mirror in which he saw himself…
OKAY – now for the final point in your notes;
V. Seeing Yourself in A Different Mirror
MGCC - 2,000 years ago Jesus came to show us who we are… LISTEN – the very moment that Jesus’ sandals hit the dusty streets of this world and He encountered people he held up to them a mirror that was radically different than the one they had been looking in…
AND – it was such a refreshing look compared to the distorted mirrors of their past…
I MEAN – for the first time the images that they saw were not, squished, stretched or distorted…
TRY – to imagine what it was like the very first time… they looked in His mirror and saw who they really were…
I am not a failure; I am not just someone who men use and throw away when they are done… I am a person of worth who God loves… I am someone that He spoke to, I am the first person He ever told that He was the Messiah…
(the woman at the well in John 4)
I am not stuck, I am not trap in this system that I helped to create and no longer even believe in, I am not some legalistic Pharisee who God wants to throw away… No, I am someone who He invites to be born again into His Kingdom.
(Nicodemus John Chapter 3)
I am not alone. I am not unacceptable. I do not have to go through living the way I have been living and feeling the way I have been feeling… Jesus says he wants to be my friend. (Zacchaeus Lk 19)
I am not just a criminal, I am not just a useless human being, a thief only worthy of death… No, I am one he invites to go with Him to paradise… (The thief on the cross)
To those and others, to lepers, sinners, demon possessed, tax collectors sinners and prostitutes Jesus saw them who they really were…. AND – the good news is, the great news is that Jesus (just as invited them) He invites us to look into the same mirror that He himself looked into as he walked this earth…
God loved the people of this world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who has faith in him will have eternal life and never really die. – John 3:16
the Father himself loves you dearly because you love me and believe that I came from God. John 16:27
UNDERSTAND – today February 2, 2020, The Father is once again ripping open the heavens…
AND – He is saying it’s not you, it’s the mirror that you have been looking in…
Choose to see yourself though my eyes…
• You are my child
• The One I love
• The One I adopted into my family
• The one I chose before the foundations of the earth were even laid
• You are the one who though you have flaws and failures are still worthy of my grace.
• Worthy even of the death of the Son that I love…
MGCC – we need to look in a different mirror…
The mirror of our Father’s love and acceptance.
AND LISTEN – to do that…
To hear His voice you need to be in the Word…
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.
How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand. And when I wake up, you are still with me!
- Psalm 139:14-18
QUESTION – who made you?
My maker is my mirror!
Listen, if they did not make you they do not get to define you!
YES – once again… at this very moment the father is ripping open the sky and inviting you to see yourself through His eyes, and through His unrelenting love!
