TEXT - Mark 10:6-9
6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
God's motive for marriage is for two to become one flesh because two is better than one.
Deuteronomy 32:30 says one can chase a thousand and two can put ten thousand to flight. Matthew 18:19 says if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.
The only way two can become one is if God is in the middle of the relationship!
In Matthew 18:20, God says where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them and Ecclesiastes 4:12 says if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Mark 3:25 also tells us that if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand.
This is why it’s so important to build the foundation of the family upon the union and unity of a husband and wife.
1. ROLES AND BOUNDARY
Mark 10:6
6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
WHAT ARE THE ROLES? Mark 10:6 defines the roles as a male and a female. The roles seemed more defined before women entered the workforce. The man took care of business and the woman took care of home. Because there are now different situations in different homes, roles become more individualized but it’s still a male and a female. Our idea of roles is more so defined by what we saw at home and what we see on TV. The challenge is lining up what the man thinks the roles should be with what the female thinks the roles should be. Even though the roles have changed, the importance of working together to accomplish common goals remains the same.
HUSBANDMAN AND HELPMEET
HUSBANDMAN
Mark 12:1-9 tells us that the husbandman is a gardener. A gardener plants and prunes to cultivate a garden for maximum productivity. The family is a garden and the man is the husbandman. Even though the man is the husbandman, God is still the Lord of the vineyard… I’m just a steward. Matthew 25 tells us that God has an expectation of anything he gives us stewardship over. If the vineyard is not productive, it’s my fault! Even if it’s not my fault, it’s my responsibility! Give an account! What did you do with the talents? Did you train the children up in the way they should go? Did you nurture that talent so it could grow? Did you plant and prune for maximum productivity?
JOSEPH AND JOSEPH
There are two Josephs in the Bible. The one in the Old Testament worked his way up from the bottom of the corporate and political arena to attain a position of prominence before he and saved his family. The Joseph in the New Testament married his wife, Mary, when she was already pregnant with a child that was not his. He is primarily known for his assistance in his wife’s mission and ministry. Which Joseph was more important? Both played a crucial role in the birth of the Lord Jesus Christ. Different roles but the same mission. The roles have less to do with generating income and more to do with affecting outcomes.
HELPMEET
Genesis 2:18 says And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. The woman is the help meet. Her job is to help her husband meet his maximum potential by submitting to HER OWN husband. When the woman agrees to be the second-in-command, she automatically promoted her husband to a leadership position. Psalm 133:3 says that when she submits to him, then God commands a blessing upon their unity and everything flows from the top down. We she doesn’t, it causes division from the bottom up.
1 Peter 3:6-10
6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:
9 Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.
The roles of man and woman, husband and wife, husbandman and helpmeet cause the two to be better together!
BOUNDARIES
When we understand the importance of our roles, then the boundaries are removed. The marriage is no longer a 50/50 contract. It’s a 100/100 covenant! Both the husband and the wife will do whatever is necessary to make the marriage work to include leaving their parent's house and cleaving to one another.
2. LEAVING AND CLEAVING
Mark 10:7
7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife.
The book of Ruth gives us a great definition of what it means to cleave.
Ruth 1:14-17
14 And they (The sisters Ruth and Orpah and their mother-in-law Naomi) lifted up their voice, and wept again: and Orpah kissed her mother in law; but Ruth clave unto her.
15 And she said, Behold, thy sister in law is gone back unto her people, and unto her gods: return thou after thy sister in law.
16 And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee:
for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God:
17 Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the Lord do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me.
When things were at their worst, Orpah kissed Naomi and decided to leave while Ruth decided to cleave. To cleave is to stick and stay forever through whatever. Many people forget the vows of for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.
There are two exceptions to “until death do us part.”
1. Not pleased to dwell – 2 Cor 7:12-13 – If Papa is a rolling stone and where he lays his hat is his home, let him stay there! If someone is committing adultery, let them dwell wherever they have been dwelling when they were not pleased to dwell at home.
2. Hardness of Heart – Mark 10:2-5 You don’t have to stay in a relationship with a spouse that is abusive to you or the children.
Leaving and cleaving leads to a change in loyalties and priorities. To leave and cleave means my loyalties and priorities are now to the people God has assigned to me. Each family member finds their identities through our loyalties and priorities. Realigned loyalties and priorities through leaving and cleaving answer the following questions for the family:
Am I safe?
Am I important?
Am I loved?
3. SUBMISSION AND SACRIFICE
Mark 10:8
8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
For two people to be one flesh, each must prefer and defer to the other in love. Men and women spell love differently.
Men spell love R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
Women spell love S-E-C-U-R-I-T-Y.
Ephesians 5:21-25
21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; (Phil 4:19)(John 11:22)
Men spell love R-E-S-P-E-C-T so God tells the wife to submit to his leadership.
Women spell love S-E-C-U-R-I-T-Y so God tells the husband to sacrifice his wants and desires for her so she feels secure in the fact that he will never leave her for someone or something he wants and desires more than her. This on-going preferring and deferring to demands that both the man and the woman continue to better themselves even after they say "I do!" Marriage is not two half-people coming together to make a one whole person. It’s two whole people coming together to make each other better so they can work together to be fruitful, multiply, replenish, subdue, and have dominion. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
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