Loneliness
By
Bishop Melvin L. Maughmer, Jr.
OPENING:- This is not necessarily a sermon designed for those that are single, because you can feel lonely in any circumstance, at any age, you can even feel loneliness when you are surrounded by people, in a relationship, or when you have many friends and acquaintances. Loneliness is the soul feeling isolated from meaningful human connections, feeling misunderstood, out of place, etc.
There was a study done in 2018 that surveyed 20,00 adults, 18 and up. This survey stated that many adults feel lonely, disconnected, left out, misunderstood and devoid of meaningful relationships. Understand this study was done in 2018 before COVID-19. Since then millions of people have been confined to their homes, unable to socialize like they were used to, unable to have contact with relationships they enjoyed like golf, sports, worship services and so on. Social distancing encourages people keep at least 6 feet from others. As a result, it’s quite possible that people are more lonely now than ever before.
Loneliness is an unpleasant emotional response to perceived isolation. Loneliness is also described as social pain a psychological mechanism which motivates individuals to seek social connections. It is often associated with an unwanted lack of connection and intimacy. Loneliness overlaps and yet is distinct from solitude. Solitude is simply the state of being apart from others, not everyone who experiences solitude feels lonely. As a subjective emotion, loneliness can be felt even when surrounded by other people; one who feels lonely or is lonely. The causes of loneliness varies. They include spiritual, social, mental, emotional, and environmental factors.
Monophobia, or the fear of being alone, is a catch-all term for several discrete fears. Some people are afraid of being apart from a person. Others have the fear of living alone, being home alone, or being in public by themselves.
Today I am going to deal with loneliness and show you in scripture that in Christ you are never alone or lonely.
PRAYER:
SCRIPTURES:- Genesis 2:18 “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him”. God said it is not good for man (mankind) to be alone so He created a help meet for him. So we have this natural desire in us to be connected to others.
1 Peter 5:7 “Cast all your cares upon Him for he careth for you”.
I ask the question - Have you ever found yourself feeling lonely? trapped? Frustrated? Full of anxiety? Discouraged? Short tempered? I am sure especially over the past few months there has been some of this feeling of loneliness by nearly everyone. However, so many times we struggle trying to carry a very heavy load all by ourselves. I know that I do but the fact is we were never meant to carry the load by ourselves. Even Jesus had help from Simon of Cyrene in carrying the cross up Golgotha’s hill.
Psychologists state that human beings have a fundamental need for inclusion in group life and for close relationships. We seem to function best when this social need is met and it is easier to stay motivated, to meet the varied challenges of life. When the need for inclusion is non-existent, we fall apart mentally, spiritually, and even physically.
We should understand first that there are different types of loneliness.
First: - Social loneliness: the most common type. You could be feeling socially lonely right now when you are stuck in your home and cannot see your friends or family. You can also experience it when you lack social connections or activities.
Second: - Emotional loneliness: does not necessarily involve being alone or lacking connections. You could have friends and family but feel emotionally disconnected from them. It comes from a lack of understanding and the inability to relate to those around you.
Third: - Intellectual loneliness: the inability to discuss things that feel important and interesting to you with other people. Similarly to emotional loneliness, it can come from a lack of understanding – but in an intellectual sense of it. A lack of intellectually compatible or like-minded individuals to share your interests and views with.
Fourth: - This is the most dangerous of all the different types - Spiritual loneliness: doesn’t come from a lack of social or emotional connections. An overall feeling of detachment from everyone and belonging nowhere. Feeling that your life is incomplete and lacks meaning. A vague sense of longing, but you cannot say what or who you long for. This feeling haunts you for a lifetime. You may not experience it every day, but you know it is always there and sooner or later, it will show up again. It is a void that can only be filled by the unfailing Love of Christ.
You may be feeling this right now let me show you how you don’t ever have to feel loneliness again.
Matthew 11:28 says “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest”. Jesus tells all who labor and heavy laden, those that have become weighted down by the frustrations of life and feel like they are all alone to come to Him. Only He can give us rest by taking the load off our shoulders.
When you’re overloaded by the cares of the world, you feel like you are all alone, disconnected, longing for something but you just can’t figure out what it is come to Jesus and cast it all upon Him.
Jesus understands the full breadth of human loneliness because he himself experienced it. WATCH THIS:- Matthew 26:36-45 says “Then cometh Jesus with them unto a place called Gethsemane, and saith unto the disciples, Sit ye here, while I go and pray yonder. And he took with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to be sorrowful and very heavy. Then saith he unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch with me. He is struggling carry a load all by himself. He takes 3 of His closet disciples and says “Watch with me”. “And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt. And he cometh unto the disciples, and findeth them asleep, and saith unto Peter, What, could ye not watch with me one hour? Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. He went away again the second time, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done. And he came and found them asleep again: for their eyes were heavy. And he left them, and went away again, and prayed the third time, saying the same words. Then cometh he to his disciples, and saith unto them, Sleep on now, and take your rest: behold, the hour is at hand, and the Son of man is betrayed into the hands of sinners”. “Through His death, Jesus Christ dealt with the primary cause of human loneliness which is separation from God.”
So He understands what it feels like to be lonely.
Because He knows what it is like to feel lonely He makes this promise and He can’t lie so you can take this to the bank. Hebrews 13:5 “for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee”. Deuteronomy 31:8 says “And the LORD, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed”.
Jesus stays with us when no one else will. His love penetrates deep into our hearts so that we never feel alone. “for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee”. 2 Timothy 4:16-17 says “At my first answer no man stood with me, but all men forsook me: I pray God that it may not be laid to their charge. Notwithstanding the Lord stood with me, and strengthened me; that by me the preaching might be fully known, and that all the Gentiles might hear: and I was delivered out of the mouth of the lion”.
WATCH THIS:- Sometimes you may call you spouse, family, or friends and be at a place in your life that you really need someone and they don’t answer, like the disciples they might be sleep, but God says in Psalm 91:15 says “He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him”.
Psalm 94:17-18 says “Unless the LORD had been my help, my soul had almost dwelt in silence. When I said, My foot slippeth; thy mercy, O LORD, held me up”.
I am trying to encourage somebody today! I have encouraged myself in the Lord already!
WATCH THIS:- Isaiah 43:1-5 says “But now thus saith the LORD that created thee,(Can I preach this like I fell it – put your name here) O ________Jacob, and he that formed thee, O ____________Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the LORD thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour: I gave Egypt for thy ransom, Ethiopia and Seba for thee. Since thou wast precious in my sight, thou hast been honourable, and I have loved thee: therefore will I give men for thee, and people for thy life. Fear not: for I am with thee:…”.
God does not want you to feel lonely Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end”. It was never His plan for people to feel isolated or left out of fellowship, but that’s the result of sin in our lives. It separates us from a Holy God and robs us of true joy, and peace. Creates loneliness, fear, anxiety, etc.
During His time on earth Jesus spent quite a bit of time ministering to the isolated, the outcasts, the lonely, like the woman at the well. John 4 Jesus makes a detour through Samaria. He purposely goes to encounter a lonely woman that was the outcast of society. She had a bad reputation, was totally disconnected from social activities. She had five husbands and the one she was with now was not hers. However, Jesus decided to deal with her and her loneliness and she was so excited after the encounter that she ran and told everyone John 4:29 “Come, see a man, which told me all things that ever I did: is not this the Christ”? He wants to bear your burdens, too.
Your loneliness can end today Revelation 3:20 says “Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me”.
The cure of loneliness doesn’t come from having a bunch of Facebook friends, a meaningful relationship, being a socialite or even daily personal encounters. Loneliness is not an entertainment issue, it’s a sin issue, heart issue, and one that can be resolved by choosing the peace Jesus brings.
Conclusion:- Today Jesus wants to take your loneliness and give you comfort, joy, peace. He wants you to cast all your care upon Him for he careth for you.
There was a song we used to sign years ago and the words are so true.
A friend of Jesus! Oh, what bliss That one so weak as I Should ever have a Friend like this
To lead me to the sky!
Refrain: Friendship with Jesus! Fellowship divine! Oh, what blessed, sweet communion!
Jesus is a Friend of mine.
A Friend when other friendships cease, A Friend when others fail, A Friend who gives me joy and peace, A Friend when foes assail!
A Friend when sickness lays me low, A Friend when death draws near, A Friend as through the vale I go, A Friend to help and cheer!
A Friend when life’s short race is o’er A Friend when earth is past, A Friend to meet on Heaven’s shore, A Friend when home at last!
Will you make Jesus a friend today and watch all loneliness pass away.
Prayer: Spirit of the living God in the name of Jesus. Lord people all over the world are hurting, lonely and burdened. Right now in Jesus name I pray asking for comfort and connection that only you can give. Help the hurting, comfort the comfortless, mend broken hearts, dry crying eyes, and fix fears. Lord you said cast all of our cares upon you for you careth for us, so Lord I am asking that the cares of the people be cast upon you. Do what only you can do. Give rest and peace that only you can give.
And Lord, You have promised that even though mother, father and all our loved ones forsake us, You will never ever leave us nor forsake us. Thank You for the many precious promises that are specially for those that are lonely, and I pray that You would meet each one at their very point of need. I ask this in Jesus' name, Amen.
Bishop Melvin L. Maughmer, Jr.
