Dieter. F. Uchtdorf the German aviator, airline executive and religious leader once stated: “Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God's love encompasses us completely. ... He loves every one of us, even those who are flawed, rejected, awkward, sorrowful, or broken.”
1 John 3:1 states: “See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him.”
The love of God is freely given in abundance to all, whoever they may be. In our troubled world, the issues relating to ageing, disease, malnutrition and poverty, to name but a few, surround us. They are part of our everyday lives. Wherever we live we cannot avoid the impact and repercussions from our turbulent age. It has been said by some that love conquers all, but it is important to note that it has to be real. If it is Godly devotion combined with a true love for one another then the world becomes our oyster. It can be said that nothing can deter the inner sensation of elation when we know that we have God's love within us. We will feel extreme joy and happiness in our minds and body. God's love is real and unending. When we feel despair it is something to cling to, the lifebelt to save us from drowning. It becomes our hope, our escape and above all our inner tranquillity. Zephaniah 3:17 reminds us: “The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.”
In the dark swirling waters of life, it is often difficult to think of love when one is suffering from misfortunes. The crisis that is current, tends to supersede all other thoughts and becomes the focal point. Everything else seems to be pushed on to the back burner and becomes irrelevant for the immediate future. It is at times like these that we need to turn to God and ask for His help through prayer. God will always answer all of our prayers. He will never forsake us in our time of need. Although the answer and the end result may not always be what we expect or want, we have to accept and trust that it is God’s will and is always for a reason which may be revealed in a time to come. Jeremiah 29:11 confirms to us: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
Sarah had always loved her parents since her birth. They, in return, tried to give her a childhood full of love and happiness. As an only child, the responsibilities that would befall her in later life could not be envisaged. It was a terrible shock to both Sarah and her mother when her father suddenly died at the tender age of 62 after a very short illness. Sarah's mother, who had always been an independent person, suddenly found that life became difficult to cope with living on her own without her loving and reliable lifelong companion who she had been devoted to.
She asked Sarah if she would be good enough to come back and live at home again to give her the necessary support that she now required. Being a loving daughter, Sarah readily agreed and for several years they lived happily with never a cross word between them.
Sarah first noticed a change in her mother's behaviour and attitude when her mother reached the age of 65. It began slowly with occasional bouts of forgetfulness and confusion which started to increase as time went on.
Sarah tried to persuade her mother to visit their doctor's surgery for a check-up to establish if there was anything more serious than just her age that was causing the problem. Her mother insisted that she was all right and there was no need for her to worry or become concerned. Over a further period, the problems gradually increased until the strain became too much for Sarah to cope with. Her mother's day-to-day functions had become erratic which not only made her own life more difficult, but gave her extreme cause for concern as she felt her mother was displaying the early signs of dementia.
Dramatic changes in behaviour can often be encountered with a disorder such as this, the functional ability of the brain can become impaired, depression, distress and confusion often increase, repetition of the same question frequently occurs, and an overall general feeling of directionless combined with fear are habitually considered ensuing factors.
One day she had a long chat with her mother and while assuring her of her continued love, she explained that she did feel the necessity for a medical examination. Reluctantly, her mother agreed and they made the appointment to see her doctor. The examination and the tests confirmed that her mother was in the early stages of dementia which would, unfortunately, progress further as time went by.
To love someone so dearly and watch them deteriorate from the cheerful carefree person that they once were, to the final stages of dementia is a tragic, heartbreaking and worrying endurance. True love from within, compassion and concern has little effect on the final outcome but does, in its way, help to relieve some of the sufferings that the victim has to undergo. The inner feeling of support and the knowledge that they have someone on hand to listen, help and comfort them in times of need can be of immense reassurance. It is, unfortunately, true that the care of people with this type of illness can result in an ultimate test of their love and dedication.
General understanding and the ability to relate to the condition and behaviour of those afflicted becomes paramount if any positive help is to be achieved between patient and carer. Many symptoms can evolve during the latter stages of dementia, which can include incontinence, severe behavioural inconsistencies and the difficulty to communicate with others. Whether the final abode is at home, in a hospice or hospital is another factor that has also to be determined in due course. It takes much strength and the love of God to commit to and accomplish such a daunting task with understanding, compassion and above all, continued true love. 1 John 4:16 reminds us: “So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.”
Amen.
