It’s Not You; It’s Me
OKAY – we are in this series called, ‘Such Things Were Written’ our theme verse is…
‘Such things were written in the Scriptures long ago to teach us. They give us hope and encouragement as we wait patiently for God’s promises. – Romans 15:4
AND LISTEN – here’s the deal, since July 19… we have been taught, warned… and given hope and encouragement from.
• The story of Naomi and Ruth
• David and Goliath
• The Life of Jeremiah
• A surprising warrior named Gideon
• Two periods of Israel history (Wilderness/Conquest)
• The life of Solomon
• The time that the nation of evil experienced a breakup, forming 2 separate kingdoms, and
• 4 chapters in the life of David that taught us that…. our God can use anyone, His power can do anything, His timing is anytime, and His grace can be found anywhere.
AND – this morning we are going to unpack a conversation called, “What are you doing here?” A conversation
NOW – this is a conversation about a breakup, about a division, about the time when the Northern part of Israel (10 tribes) and the Southern part of Israel (2 tribes) called it quits and went their separate ways, forming 2 different nations that would pretty remain in a state of conflict and civil war for 200+ years… until both were destroyed and conquered by foreign enemies.
Israel (the north) by Assyria in 722 BC
Judah (the south) by Babylon in 586 BC
HEY – it’s no you; it’s me…
NOW – I am sure that you’ve heard of those 5 words before
MAYBE – you have said them to someone before
MAYBE – someone said them to you
WHEN – a break up happened in your life.
YOU KNOW - there are only a few things worse than a breakup: an allergic reaction to a bee sting, your pet dying and a flat tire on a deserted freeway after midnight with no jack or spare.
Needless to say, breaking up is not a good time, but it also a pretty common thing…
Ever happen to you.
I MEAN – just think about how many songs there are about breaking up…
A list of some top break up songs
1) You've lost that long feeling - Righteous Brothers
2) Cry me a river - Justin Timberlake
3) Ain't no sunshine - Billy Withers
4) I'll never love again - Lady Gaga
5) I will shrive - Gloria Gaynor
6) Behind these Hazel Eyes - Kelly Clarkson
7) You gave love a bad name - Bon Jovi
Let's sing that together
"Shot to the heart and your to blame
you gave love a bad name
I played my part and you played your game
you gave a bad name
you gave lo o o o ove"
YES – breaking up is not only hard, but it can also be hard to do. LIKE – what… do… you… say…
When you know that it is time to end it and walkaway.
IT – can be hard to find the words.
OKAY – if you ever struggled as to what to say at such times, well, here are a few of the most common break up lines.
NOW – to be honest sometimes these lines can be a bit confusing… I MEAN – you hear these words and at times you are left wondering… “What does it mean?” “What are they trying to say?” HEY – if you ever been there, fret no more, because here are all the top breakup lines decoded for you. With both the optimistic and realistic versions.
“I need space.”
Optimist: I just need to take a step back and reexamine our relationship.
Realist: I need to get far, far away from you.
“I think we should see other people.”
Optimist: It didn’t work out; it’s quite unfortunate. I see a potential for us both to find new mates and be happier.
Realist: I’m already seeing other people and think you should catch up.
“I’m not ready for commitment.”
Optimist: You are a great catch but at this point in my life; I’m just not ready for a serious relationship—maybe after a short, ambiguous period of time.
Realist: Imagining a future with you terrifies me.
“You deserve better.”
Optimist: You’re the greatest catch; anyone would be lucky to have you. I don’t feel good enough for you and I can’t live with these feelings of inadequacy.
Realist: I want to let you down gently so you don’t go all crazy
“I think we’re better off as friends.”
Optimist: I wouldn’t want to jeopardize our great friendship with a relationship.
Realist: I am not attracted to you at all. And the thought of a Romantic relationship with you, well, it makes my skin crawl.
“It’s not you; it’s me.”
Optimist: You’re not the problem; you’re perfect. It’s me and all my problems causing this not to work.
Realist: It’s totally, utterly and 100% you.
It’s not you; it’s me.
That is what I want us to talk about today, and you may be wondering…
Why I spent so much time talking about break up songs and break up lines.
Because… I want you to remember what we talked about today… Like – maybe, you leave here this morning with one of the songs I mentioned in your head… or another break up song that came to your mind…
AND THEN – you will remember today’s conversation about the ugliness and destructiveness of division, and the beauty and power of unity.
UNDERSTAND – around 932 BC, the nation that God established 1000+ years earlier is about to experience a major and destructive break up…
The kingdom is about to be torn in two.
Division among God’s people is a heartbreaking tragedy. To see those who love and serve the same God rent asunder by bitterness and strife is enough to make the angels weep. 1 Kings 12 relates a sad story. It speaks of animosity, bitterness, insensitivity and outright hostility among those who were by birth and belief one people. - James Smith
UNDERSTAND MGCC…
DIVISION - is never what our God wants to see happen, anywhere…
DISUNITY - is never what the Sovereign King of the Universe wants to see go down.
BECAUSE – God knows as His son said when He wore flesh and walked on this planet…
Every kingdom divided against itself is headed for destruction, and no city or house divided against itself will stand. – Matthew 12:25
LISTEN, LISTEN - God’s will is for people to live in harmony and peace, to live without tension and alienation, without dissension and division…which always leads to destruction.
WHICH IS WHY – our God wants us (He wants you and He wants me) to strive (to exert every effort) to make unity happen, wherever we can, whenever it is possible.
GET IT?
How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity! – Psalm 133:1
Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife. – Proverbs 17:1
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. – Romans 12:18
As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
Spoudazo - To be eager; To exert oneself; To give diligently; To make haste; To be zealous; To see a need and promptly act on it. In essence, Spoudazo combines thinking, acting, planning and producing. The word covers inception, action and follow-through.
AND – Paul says here is why we should spoudazo to see unity happen, because…
There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. - Ephesians 4:1-6
QUESTION…
Do you agree with the following statement
Unity matters, pretty much… everywhere!
YEAH – me too.
UNDERSTAND - unity matters…
• In the home
• In marriages
• In relationships
Have you ever been part of home that was divided?
Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife. – Proverbs 17:1
YES - the psalmist was right it is good and pleasant when everyone gets along, BUT - when they don’t… it can be bad, ugly, miserable and extremely destructive.
YES - unity matters…
• In the home
• In marriages
• In relationships, and unity matters
• In a workplace
• In the church
• at MGCC
• in a country
• among our elected government leaders
AND – I do not need to tell you how divided we are as a nation right now…
NOW – I have been around a few years
AND – I have NEVER seen this country more divided.
AND MGCC – this division has not come without great cost and destruction.
AGAIN - about 3000 years ago…God’s kingdom was divided. AND – the devastation of that division is incalculable
• 2 nations destroyed
• Tens of thousands dead
• Homes and lives destroyed.
AND LISTEN
SINCE – scripture tells us that the things that were written down in the past, were written down - to warn us, to teach us and to give us hope and encouragement as we wait for God’s promises to be fulfilled…
THEN – I am convinced that there must be some truths for us tucked away is the story of this 2900 year old break up.
AND SO - my goal today is pretty simple…
I want us to learn a few things from their story (from this break up),
THAT - can help us become more united (@ home, @ work, in the church… where…ever, like maybe even empower us to be an instrument of unity in our so deeply divided nation.
I don’t know… BUT - I think this conversation is well worth pursuing for us this morning…
What say you, Maple Grove?
NOW – I’ve broken down our conversation. ’It’s Not You; It’s Me” around a few key thoughts…
The Breakup, The Causes, The Results and The Cure
Prayer
I. The Breakup
OKAY – right after Solomon dies (his son Rehoboam becomes king), and the break-up goes down and the nation of Israel is divided.
NOW – in just a moment, we will talk about some of the what causes for this break-up.
(MAP)
The ten tribes that were in the north aligned themselves under a guy by the name of Jeroboam, AND – they became known as Israel (The Northern Kingdom).
AND - the tribes of Judah and Benjamin down in the south were loyal to their leader Rehoboam (again the son of King Solomon), who and that area became known as Judah (The Southern Kingdom).
Okay, that’s the break-up… and it was a very big deal
I MEAN - the family of Abraham, the people of God (who had been together since Genesis chapter 12) are divided.
No longer united. No longer one. No longer together.
AND THIS – was…
Not at all what God intended.
Not at all what God had wanted.
HOWEVER… - it was not unforeseen by the Sovereign King of the Universe
AND – it was not at all able to - stop, thwart or hold back His ultimate plan of redemption.
AND MGCC – that is good news, right?
Early Friday morning… - I felt (after reading Revelation 3) compelled to write these words in my journal and on my Facebook wall…
When so much is out of control in and around my life, I need to remember that God is always in control!
#Sovereign
UNDERSTAND – in spite of whatever is going down at the six foot level…
AND MAN – I am with you, the view of life from the here and now… can get pretty ugly
NEVERTHELESS – our God is always Sovereign…
AND - His will, will always be done!
OKAY – the breakup between the ten tribes in the north and the 2 tribes in the south goes down around 932 BC.
II. The Causes
A) Issues in their walk with God
UNDERSTAND – the reality is this, whenever God’s people are not doing so good with HIM more often then not they will not do so good with each other.
Question - do you agree?
I MEAN – have you found that to be true in your own life?
That when you and God are not right, that things don’t really seem to be right with pretty much everyone else…
OKAY – here’s the deal…
BEFORE - the breakup occurred in 930 BC…
God’s people were no longer walking with God or following after Him with all their heart.
AND UNDERSTAND – part of the reason for this was that their leader King Solomon, was no longer following after God.
AND LISTEN - Solomon’s negative influence (his idol worship, his following after other gods) resulted in countless people throughout the nation breaking and continuing to break again and again and again, the very first commandment, thou shall have no other God’s before me… - Exodus 20:3
IN FACT – listen to how Scripture summarizes the life of King Rehoboam,
Rehoboam did what was evil, because he did not determine in his heart to seek the LORD. – 2 Chronicles 12:14
SO - what led to the breakup, to the division, to the disunity? WELL - one of the primary causes was that God’s people in both the north and the south had major issues in their walk with God.
They did not fear Him.
They were not obeying His commands.
BOTTOM LINE
Having issues with God, often leads to having issues with other people.
Being good with God, often leads to being good with other people.
B) Unresolved petty jealousy
NOW – throughout the OT we see many examples of jealousy and rivalry between the various tribes of Israel.
UNDERSTAND – jealousy between Jacob’s offspring did not end with the coat of many colors.
INSTEAD – it continued for generations.
HERE – is just one example that is found in 2 Samuel 19.
SO - David and the royal family are being escorted across the Jordan River, Returning to Jerusalem after successfully turning back Absalom’s rebellion.
AND – the tribe of Judah is out in front leading the way.
NOW – the return of the King to his palace seems like a pretty awesome moment.
I MEAN – everyone should be happy?
HOWEVER – such was not the case.
UNDERSTAND – what was happening does not sit well, with the tribe of Ephraim.
YOU SEE – they felt like they should be the tribe out in front…
“Hey, it’s not fair… how comes you guys get to be the line leader and not us, after all there are 10 tribes up north…”
“YEAH – that may be true but the king’s family line is from Judah… so we should be the line leader.”
“No we should…”
“No… we should”
QUESTION – do you know what the root problem is here…?
BOTH – the tribes of Judah and Ephraim are only thinking about their position and their honor… rather than focusing on and celebrating the honor and position of the king!
AND LISTEN – that’s usually where jealousy comes from…
FROM - a mindset that is consumed and focused on self. AND THEREFORE – feels threatened when someone else experiences something, or receives something that they feel they deserve more.
QUESTION – have you ever seen this kind of mindset destroy unity and create division?
“Hey what about – ‘my’ position, ‘my’ honor, ‘my’ way, ‘my’ wants and needs, ‘my’ glory… what about….’ME’
YET – God says…
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
C) Foolish decisions made in the past
UNDERSTAND - during Solomon’s reign he was a man on a mission and he become very aggressive about that mission.
He took on massive building projects all over the nation, projects that required huge chunks of cash…
AND SOLOMON – funded those projects the old fashion way, he raised taxes… (and no one wants to pay more taxes).
AND – not only that, but he also forced tens of thousands of his own people into working on his building projects,
AND HERE’S THE DEAL…
Those decisions (he made in the past) put a huge burden on the people, a burden that would play a significant role in the future break up of the nation.
UNDERSTAND MGCC - the decisions that we make today and the way we live our lives will affect generations to come in either a positive or a negative way. That’s true in our home.
AND LISTEN – that’s true at work, tt’s true in our relationships, and it’s certainly true in our country…
Think of it this way:
Our present decisions will one day be the past to which future generations will be able to trace either their blessings or hardships.
UNDERSTAND – the pain, the hardships and the destruction that God’s people will experience after this breakup….
ARE – a direct result of foolish decision they made in the past…
D) Bad counsel that led to wrong actions
UNDERSTAND MGCC - the advice that we are given and accept, can either help or hurt the cause of unity.
NOW WHEN - Rehoboam sought the counsel of the elders about whether to continue the hard policies of his father Solomon in ruling the people, he said, “What do you think I should do?”
They all said, “You know what? Your dad was really tough on the people, probably a little too tough. You should give the people a tax cut.
Lighten things up a little and then they will always be loyal to you.”
NOW - I don’t think that was the advise he was looking for.
BECAUSE - the very next thing that Rehoboam does, is…
to go to his young buddies and he ask them their opinion.
And their opinion was the exact opposite.
“Hey bro the last thing you need to do is to back off. Now is the time to step on the gas. It’s time to really grind these people down, show them who’s boss.”
AND - that’s exactly what Rehoboam did… “You think it was bad before?...”
My father laid heavy burdens on you, but I’m going to make them even heavier! My father beat you with whips, but I will beat you with scorpions!” - 2 Kings 12:14
QUESTION – have you ever seen, received or were given counsel – that actually lead to disunity or made a current division even wider?
MAN – this is happening all over our country.
Influential people in government and in the media, stirring things up.
It’s wrong!
May that not be said us.
E) They forgot their ultimate purpose
I will make you into a great nation. I will bless you and make you famous, and you will be a blessing to others. I will bless those who bless you and curse those who treat you with contempt. All the families on earth will be blessed through you.” - Genesis 12:2,3
UNDERSTAND - God was using the nation of Israel to reveal His character to the rest of the world, so that they would want to do life with Him.
As we have said several times throughout this series…
Being God’s people was never about geography, instead it was always about becoming a people who would reveal, reflect and display God’s person, power and purposes throughout the world.
LISTEN – if God’s people had remembered their purpose before the breakup, they would have kept asking themselves the following question…
Is what I am about to say or do, going to help or hurt the cause of revealing God’s glory and character to the world.
• Issues with their walk with God
• Unresolved petty jealousy
• Foolish decisions made in the past
• Bad counsel that led to wrong actions
• Forgetting their ultimate purpose
WERE – all causes that led to the break up.
III. The Results
Okay… so were the results of this division and disunity among God’s people. HERE – are 4 pretty significant negative consequences.
A) Lost influence
Question how well do think God’s people were doing at reflecting HIS - character, person, power and purposes to the world, while they were living jealous, divided, walking away from God, purposeless lives?
B) Diminished power
UNDERSTAND - as a result of this division the powerful Davidic kingdom was shattered and the mighty military power that had won so many victories was no more… Subject nations regained their independence.
AND – tiny Israel and Judah were pretty much helpless to defend themselves against the mighty armies of Assyria and Babylon… who would come in and ultimately destroy them.
YES – the kingdom was divided and it did not stand.
• Lost influence
• Diminished power
Are 2 results of disunity, division and breakups.
AS IS…
C) Bitterness, hardship, pain and destruction
QUESTION – would you agree that these things are often the results of breakups and division?
UNDERSTAND – the nation of Israel break up in 932 BC led to pain, bitterness, hardship and destruction that lasted for centuries…
The northern kingdom would eventually be destroyed by Assyria in 722 BC.
The southern kingdom (Juda) would be crushed by Babylon in 586 BC.
AND LISTEN – it did not have to end that way… that did not have to become their story. BUT – it did.
4th disunity resulted in…
D) Entrenched separation
UNDERSTAND – once division and a breakup has occurred, it is often extremely difficult to heal.
SURE - there were those who tried to bring the two kingdoms back together… but all of those attempts failed.
A bad break up is just hard to come back from.
• Lost influence
• Diminished power
• Bitterness, pain, hardship and destruction
• Entrenched separation
IV The Cure
AND LISTEN – the actions I am about to mention not only will help cure division and disunity but will actually prevent breakups from happening in the first place.
A) Prayer
I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me through their message. I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me.
I have given them the glory you gave me, so they may be one as we are one. I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me. – John 17:20-23
QUESTION…
What is Jesus doing? (praying) why, because prayer matters
What is Jesus praying about?(unity) why, because unity matters
WHAT IF - we prayed for unity with the same passion that Jesus prayed for unity?
And what is prayed not only when things fall apart but before they do fall apart?
B) Draw Closer To God
UNDERSTAND – our God is the great unifier!
For Christ himself has brought peace to us. He united Jews and Gentiles into one people when, in his own body on the cross, he broke down the wall of hostility that separated us.
– Ephesians 2:14
LISTEN – GOD can break down ‘any’ wall of hostility.
C) Seek ‘godly’ counsel
AND LISTEN - Good counsel…
• BEGINS - with seeing what the Bible has to say.
• It’s followed by praying to God and asking for His wisdom.
• It’s then followed up by talking to Godly people that you respect, who know you and know your situation,
AND – love God and His truth MORE than they love being your friend.
OKAY… so see what the bible says, pray and ask for wisdom and seek godly counsel…
BUT LISTEN - it doesn’t end there.
YOU SEE – the key then is to follow through on that advice.
TOO MANY TIMES - we pray, we read God’s Word, we seek godly advice and we get it (I need to stop that behavior, to ask for forgiveness, I need to make that phone call…)
AND THEN - we say…
“Nah! I don’t think I want to do that, at least not right now”
Neo, sooner or later you’re going to realize like I did, that there’s a difference between ‘knowing’ the path and ‘walking’ the path. – Morpheus (The Matrix)
Proverbs 15:22 says, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisors they succeed.”
NEXT…
INSTEAD – of having the attitude of petty jealousy where we are focused and consumed with ourselves and with our position and honor we need to
D) Put on the attitude of Christ
WHO – though he had both position and honor did not demand or cling to either.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same attitude as Christ Jesus…who made Himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant. – Phil 2:3-7
QUESTION – do you think those things would both help prevent and cure disunity?
E) Make wiser decisions
KNOWING – that our present decisions will one day be the past that will determine whether future generations will experience blessings or hardships.
OKAY – will this decision that I am about to make result in greater unity… or will it sow the seeds for a future breakup.
F) Always remember your ultimate purpose
UNDDERSTAND – just like with the Israelites God is using us to both reveal and reflect his (character, person, power, and purposes) to the rest of the world, so that they will want to do life with Him.
You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. – Matthew 5:14-16
Go out into the world uncorrupted, a breath of fresh air in this squalid and polluted society. Provide people with a glimpse of good living and of the living God.
Carry the light-giving Message into the night so I’ll have good cause to be proud of you on the day that Christ returns. You’ll be living proof that I didn’t go to all this work for nothing. – Phil 2:14-16
UNDERSTAND – when we remember our ultimate purpose.
We will make every effort to be united.
BECAUSE – nothing makes God looks worse than division and fighting among people who by new birth and belief are one people.
• Prayer
• Draw closer to God
• Seek godly counsel
• Put on the attitude of Christ
• Makes wise decisions
• Remember our ultimate purpose
HEY
Do you remember the U2 song - “With or Without You”
You know – I thought of those words… as I watched this breakup unfold…
UNDERSTAND…
God’s plan, God’s purpose, and God’s redemptive plan
IS - going to happen, it will take place, nothing can stop it…
AND – it will happen with or without (you or me)…
YES - Jesus is going to build his church… demonstrating the good news that everyone from the human family – all races, all colors, all nationalities, male and female, young and old, rich and poor… is invited into the perfect community He is forming.
