Tragedy so often leads to bitterness against God. Mark Twain
had a daughter who died at the age of 21 because of diphtheria. His
wife also died young. He became so angry and bitter that he lashed
out at God with the very gift that made him famous, his pen. He
wrote and imaginative tale about Noah's Ark. Three days out of
port in the flood Noah discovered he had left behind the tsetse fly,
and had to go back. Mark Twain comments on how thoughtful God
was to make Noah go back for this creature, so that men could be
afflicted with its dreaded disease for all these centuries. The story
was such a bitter and sarcastic slam at God that his relatives would
not allow it to be published until 50 years after his death.
Job was not so direct in his bitterness over tragedy. He avoids an
attack upon God, but he curses his birth and his life, and complains
that God allows life to go on in such misery. It was shocking to Job's
friends to hear him expressing such bitter emotions. The way he was
handling his emotions was not pleasing to them, and they could no
longer sit in silence and let his outcry against God go unchallenged.
Chapter 4 is the beginning of the speeches of Job's three friends,
and his responses. Eliphaz is the first to speak, because he is the
oldest, and has seniority. The three speak in the order of their age.
The speeches get more and more radical, as they go from mild
rebuke to vicious attack, because Job refuses to respond to their
advice as they expect him to do. These three men were true friends
of Job, and not enemies. They traveled far, and stayed long, to
comfort Job in his misery. We have to commend them for their
effort. The reason they failed is because they were ignorant, and not
because they were evil. They were just like all of us tend to be,
inadequate of our understanding of how to help the grief stricken
suffer.
As we commend their heartless attacks on Job, let us keep in
mind, they represent us, the majority of well-meaning people who
make life's burdens heavier, because we do not understand
sympathy. We will learn little from the study of Job's friends, unless
we see ourselves in them. The most caring and compassionate of us
make some of the same blunders they did. The closer we are to the
sufferer, the more likely we are to be as foolish as they were. We
need to learn from their mistakes how to be true comforters. This
means we must learn what sympathy is all about. For the basic need
for all who suffer is sympathy. This is a neglected virtue in the
Christian life, because we think of it as a sort of weak second rate
virtue, unworthy of major attention.
This is a tragic attitude, and it leads Christians to be no better
prepared than Job's friends to meet the deepest need of the sufferer.
We handicap ourselves by failing to develop the capacity for
sympathy. There is no way to become truly Christlike without this
virtue. Jesus became a man to make sure He had the powers of true
sympathy, and that is a primary basis for our comfort. Heb. 4:15
says, "For we have not a high priest who is unable to sympathize
with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted
as we are, yet without sinning." The sympathy of Jesus is the key to
His ministry of His intercession on our behalf, and the key to our
security. We know that even if nobody else understands us, Jesus
does. That is what sympathy is all about. It is the ability to feel
what another feels, and to be able to understand why they feel the
way they do.
Sympathy is one of the key ingredients to being a blessing. Listen
to Peter as he makes it one of the links in the chain of successful
Christian living. He writers in I Peter 3:8-9, "Finally, all of you,
have unity of spirit, sympathy, love of the brethren, a tender heart
and a humble mind. Do not return evil for evil or reviling for
reviling, but on the contrary bless, for to this you have been called,
that you may obtain a blessing." Peter would agree with Edmund
Berke who said, "Next to love, sympathy is the devinest passion of
the human heart." This is what Job's friends lacked, and what all of
us lack so often, to be the blessing Peter says we are called to be.
Job's friends did just what Peter said to avoid. They responded to
Job's negative emotions with their own negative emotions, instead of
sympathetic understanding.
Chapter 4 shows us three approaches that Eliphaz took to Job,
which he apparently thought would be helpful, but which are
contrary to the true spirit of sympathy, and thus, must be classified
as sinful sympathy, for they do more harm than good. The first
thing we see is-
I. HIS ACCUSATION.
Eliphaz starts off by saying he hopes Job will not be offended, but
he just has to respond to Job's negative emotions. When you have to
apologize for what you are about to say, you can count on it, you are
not on the right track, for like Eliphaz, you are more concerned
about getting something off your own chest than about lifting the
burden of another. Eliphaz had to get out what was on his mind, at
the expense of Job.
In verses 3-5 he says, you are always such a good counselor to
others in their trials, but now when you suffer, you go all to pieces.
He is saying to Job, why don't you take your own medicine. He
accuses Job of not being able to practice what he has preached to
others. You have helped others be submissive in suffering, and now,
you become a rebel in your own. You tell others to seek the silver
lining in every cloud, but you seek only the escape of death. Shame
on you Job, for your inconsistency.
If you look back at chapter 3, you have to agree with Eliphaz. He
has accurately analyzed Job's cry of anguish. It is nearly pagan, if
not clearly pagan, in its view of life. Eliphaz was right, for Job was
not on the level where a godly man ought to be. If he was right, then
why was he so poor a comforter? Because, Eliphaz, like so many
people before and since, had the mistaken idea that what is true
must always be good. If Job is being inconsistent, let him know. If a
Christian brother or sister is being sub-Christian in their emotions,
point it our right away. Such is the role of the analyzer, but it is not
the role of the sympathizer.
A truly sympathetic friend is not concerned with setting you
straight, but with understanding why you are so crooked. Eliphaz
should have said something like this: "I understand your feelings
Job. I would feel the same in your shoes." He would not have to
give up his convictions about how people ought to respond to
suffering. He could say, "I know it is not right to feel as you do, but
I would probably feel the same, if I were in your shoes." Sympathy
always comes through by saying, "Even if I don't like how you feel, I
accept you as you now feel."
Job did not hear that at all. He heard only an accusation
designed to shame him back on the right path. Eliphaz was using
his wisdom and energy to push Job, rather than help him lift his
burden. When you have sympathy, you don't tell the sufferer to get
rid of his burden, you help him carry it, and feel something of the
load he bears. Charles Parkhurst put it, "Sympathy is two hearts
tugging at one load." Eliphaz only added to Job's load with his
accusations. He is a mirror, however, in which I can see myself. He
is not a bad, or cruel man, he is just stupid about human nature.
Put yourself in the shoes of Eliphaz, and imagine that you witness an
outstanding Christian going to pieces. I am sure one of the first
responses in our minds would be, "Why doesn't he practice what he
preaches."
Like those around the cross, who said of Jesus, He saved others,
let Him save Himself, so we look at the strong and godly in suffering,
and expect them to set the example, and save themselves. We
certainly don't expect them to be depressed, and cry out in despair
as Job did. We would be embarrassed by such a lack of faith. We
would probably seek to shame them back into their senses by some
form of accusation. "What will people think?" "You have told
others how to handle grief, now practice what you have preached."
Let's face it, it is a fact of which we are all aware, it is easier for
us to preach than to practice. It is so much easier to know what is
right, than to do what is right. Paul experience this, and writes in
Rom. 7:15, "I do not understand my own actions, for I do not do
what I want, but I do the very thing I hate." All of us will have
times when we cannot do what we know to be best, but we will do
what we know to be folly. Thomas Boston preached that failure to
sleep soundly was a great waste of time. Then he fell into a state of
restlessness, and could not avoid the very thing he condemned. He
preached on the text, "Be content with such things as ye have," and
then later found himself seized with dissatisfaction.
Every Christian fails at some time to practice what he has
preached. Eliphaz made a big deal of pointing out to Job his
inconsistency, and by so doing, missed his chance for being a
comforter. Job was not so stupid he did not know he was being
inconsistent. He did not need a lecture on his defects at this point.
They were already crushing him. The suffering saint who feels
depressed and angry at life, is fully aware of his inconsistency, and
that is why guilt is one of his heaviest loads. What he needs is
someone who can sympathize. He needs someone who can say, "You
are not the worst sinner who ever lived, because of your negative
feelings."
True sympathy recognizes it is no sin when you can't feel like
you ought to feel. Jesus said to His disciples, "Let not your hearts be
troubled," and then went into Gethsemene where His heart was so
deeply troubled it almost broke. Jesus did not sin by this
inconsistency. He experienced what we all do, and that is why he is
the perfect sympathizer. He knows that there are griefs and
sufferings and trials that come into our lives that make it impossible
for us to feel the positive emotions of life. We do not have to feel the
death of the negative emotions like Job, but we do have to
understand that they are legitimate, and there is no call for
accusation about not practicing what is preached. Job needed a
word so sympathy, but he never got it. The second approach of
Eliphaz was equally empty of comfort.
II. HIS ARGUMENT.
In verse 7 we see just what every sufferer needs, and argument
that shows them they are wrong to feel as they do. Eliphaz says to
Job, think now, who that was innocent ever perished? Or, where
were the upright cut off? The wicked reap suffering and judgment
from God, and the righteous reap reward from God." The
argument of Eliphaz is a classic case of oversimplification. It does
not deal with life as it really is, but only as his theology says it should
be. Eliphaz is trying to give Job a snow job. He is trying to
whitewash over the blackness of Job's tragedy, by pretending that
there is no real evil for the man of God. Only the wicked suffer. The
good guys never suffer, and what seems so is really good for
discipline, and other values. So cheer up Job, if you are truly
righteous, your suffering is no tragedy at all. Some may get comfort
from this type of argument, but many see it as rejection, as Job did.
How can there be any real sympathy if you are convinced there is
tragedy. You do not accept the sufferer's feelings, when you try to
show them they are foolish for their feelings, because they are based
on a false view of suffering. I enjoyed Iona Henry's book, Triumph
Over Tragedy. She shares of how she reacted to some of the
arguments of her comforters. She lost her daughter in surgery, and
then her son and husband, a week later, were killed in a car
accident, which put her in the hospital for months. Some of the
arguments she wrestled with were these:
1. There is a purpose in all of this. This traditional Protestant way
of coping with tragedy gave her some comfort in her deepest pain,
but lost its power when she recovered. It just did not fit the facts of
life. Pete, Jack, and Jane, all had more talent to contribute to the
cause of Christ than she had. The idea that there was a mysterious
hidden purpose in saving her out of the holocaust brought her up
against a brick wall. If there was any purpose, why didn't God
reveal it? A hidden purpose is no better than no purpose at all. It
just left her empty, and explained nothing. She could not buy that
argument.
2. One of her friends, on a similar track of Eliphaz, told her that
God loved her in a special way, and that is why she had to suffer so
much. Those who suffer most in this life will be so much happier in
the life to come. Suffering was a sort of merit, and, therefore, it
really is not evil, but a blessing in disguise. Iona could not buy this
one either, for it made no sense. Some of the finest Christians did
not hardly suffer at all. Why would she be selected out of all
humanity for this special suffering. Did God love her more than He
loved most of His children? She writes, "I couldn't believe that! My
faith had taught me that God has no caste system, that He plays no
favorites and has no pets, that He sends His blessed rain upon the
just and unjust alike..." She could not believe she was a privileged
character for her great suffering.
Other friends tried the fate approach, or the Pollyanna approach,
but none of them met her need. The approach that did work was the
sympathetic approach of her father-in-law. It was his son and
grandchildren who died, so he also suffered deeply with Iona. His
attitude is summed up by one paragraph from a letter he wrote to
her. He said, "God is as sad over this as you are. It is not God's will
that such things happen. Amid the many circumstance of life, some
things happen because we belong to a human society. But God's will
is for life to be lived to its fullness. When it isn't, He stands as of old,
weeping with us." This view met her need, and strengthened her
faith. This is what Job needed, but he got an argument instead. The
third approach of Eliphaz is common, but cruel.
III. HIS ASSUMPTION.
In verse 12 Eliphaz really comes on strong, as he relates to Job
the frightening vision he had one night. God gave him a special
revelation that no man, no angel, nothing or no one, is pure before
God. All need the discipline of suffering to be worthy, and only the
wicked resent it. In other words, "Watch your tongue Job. God
revealed to me that you deserve what you are getting, and if you
keep up your rebel spirit, you will get even worse."
Eliphaz could not have planned a less sympathetic approach.
The assumption that his dream became the standard by which all
men's experiences are to be measured, would make any man angry.
Whenever you attempt to impose your experience, however
spectacular it may be, upon others, and especially others in their
suffering, you cannot escape being guilty of sinful sympathy.
John Wesley was going to sail from England to Georgia, but George
Whitfield, the great evangelist of the day wanted him to stay in
England. Before the ship sailed he went to Wesley and said, "God
spoke to me in a dream and told me you were not to go." Wesley
said, "If God does not want me to go, He will speak to me in my own
dream."
Few things are more aggravating to a sufferer than a non-sufferer
who has a text, or a theory, or a vision, or whatever, that
wraps it all up in a nut shell. Eliphaz was saying, "I got my idea
direct from God, and so you have to swallow it or else you are
rejecting God's word." This is the method by which strong leaders
control the weak-minded masses. Many sufferers would have
submitted to such impressive arguments. Job, however, was no
ordinary sufferer. He would not submit to any argument that did
not fit the facts of reality.
Job's response to Eliphaz in chapter 6 is one of total
disappointment. Job needed his three friends, just as Jesus needed
His three closest disciples in Gethsemane, but in both cases they
were let down. In both cases the three friends were good and godly
men, yet they failed in the crisis, because they lacked sympathy.
Cannon Farrar wrote, "A man may lose position, wealth, and even
health, and yet live on in comfort...but there is one things without
which life becomes a burden-that is human sympathy.
We will find a lot of truth in the speeches of Job's three friends,
but it is all in vain, for even truth is empty of value and meaning
when there is no sympathy. Any theology that drives the springs of
sympathy, however true, is of little or no value to God or man. H. C.
Trumbull preached to the inmates of a prison, and he said, the only
difference between himself and them was the grace of God.
Afterward, one of the prisoners came to him and said, "Did you
mean what you said about sympathizing with us, and that only the
help of God made you differ from us?" When Trumbull replied,
"Yes, I really meant it," the prisoner said, "I am here for life, but I
can stay here more contentedly now that I know I have a brother
out in the world."
This prisoner was so changed by the power of sympathy that he
received the Christ that enabled Trumbull to express it. The
changed life lead to receiving a pardon. Instead of sinful sympathy,
he experienced sin-freeing sympathy. Philip Crownell said, "None
will deny that the one thing supremely characteristic of Jesus, Son of
God, is his sympathy. For that is what he is, God's incarnate
sympathy." Sympathy is thinking with the mind and heart of
Christ, and this is what every sufferer deserves to experience from
Christian friends.
