Every young person wants to be attractive. Teens suddenly discover
that they are drawn to each other because of their attractiveness, and they
want to be attractive themselves. It is then that the mirror, mirror on the
wall become the idol of them all. They become very sensitive about their
body, and if they are slow in development they worry about being
different. Teens don't want to be different. They all want to be beautiful
and handsome, and in every way attractive.
This is not only natural, but it is also wonderful. It can lead to vanity,
but it is also important for maturity. God loves beauty in the physical and
spiritual realm. He is the author of all the beauty in creation as well as the
beauty of holiness. Jesus was attractive in His humanity. He had all the
qualities of a man that every teen dreams of having. He was attractive to
men, women and children. He was powerful and yet gentle. He was
forceful and yet kind. He could melt hearts with His love, but also throw
fear into hearts with His anger.
Jesus, no doubt, took good care of His body, and was always pleasant
in appearance. This was not the essential ingredient of His attractiveness,
however, for He urged His followers not to be overly concern about the
external to the neglect of the internal. Solomon in all his glory was not so
beautiful as the lily, which does not work at being attractive at all. It just
grows according to its nature. Jesus said we too can become attractive on
the same principle. It can be a natural process if we do as He did and
taught. He said, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness
and all these things shall be added unto you." The key factor in becoming
attractive with eternal beauty is obedience. Nature simply obeys the laws
of God for it, and it produces beauty.
You may be asking, what does this have to do with the text in Proverbs
where the theme is obedience to parents? What is the connection between
obedience to parents and obedience to God? The connection was one that
was important in the life of Jesus, and is important in the life of every
young person who desires to be all that God wants them to be. You recall
how Jesus remained in the temple when he was 12, and he caused quite a
scare on the part of Joseph and Mary. When they asked Him why He did
it He told them that He must be about His Father's business. But then
Luke tells us, "He went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was
subject onto them." All we know about Jesus from age 12 to 30 is found in
that statement and one other. We only know that in those 18 years He was
obedient to His parents, and that He increased in wisdom and stature, and
in favor with God and man.
Jesus lived through His teens and 20's as a youth who was attractive.
He had favor with both God and man. He experienced what every teen
wants, and that is attractiveness and acceptance. All of this took place
after He said He must be about His Father's business, and I can't help but
see that the Scripture is making clear that learning to obey one's parents is
God's business. One can never be a mature servant of Christ until he
learns to obey authority, and even Jesus in His humanity needed to be
trained in obedience. This played a major role in His attractiveness as a
man.
Young people seem to feel that rebellion is the real way to maturity.
To ignore authority and be indifferent to standards of morality is their
goal. They gain attention by this, but it is not lasting or satisfying as a
pattern of life. The only adequate pattern is that which Christ established.
Men through the centuries have demonstrated this by growing up with
respect for authority, and especially the authority of parents, which is
essential preparation for obedience to the authority of God.
Our goal as believers is obedience to God, but one of the basic means
to this end is obedience to parents. George F. Knight wrote, "The
responsibility of being a Christian is appalling. The Christian is called not
primarily to being good, nor to rejoice in a self-conscious faith, nor even to
a search for holy living. The ladder may even turn out to be the ultimate
form of selfishness. The Christian is called to obedience, utter obedience to
the voice of God. And it is as he obeys the voice that goodness, faith and
holiness come to him." That which made Christ attractive, and that which
has made every person in history who has been spiritually attractive is that
which is still essential to be an attractive youth today, and that is
obedience.
Having established the goal, let us now consider the wisdom of
Solomon as to the means. This verse tells us a great deal about what God
expects of parents as well as youth. The assumption on which the proverb
is based is that the parents are both godly and teachers. This is not
unconditional and absolute wisdom. I know of young people whose lives
are repulsive, and whose characters are ugly because they have followed
their parent's teachings. This proverb is only truly wisdom when applied
to the homes, which fulfill the conditions, and that is where the parents are
teaching and training their youth to live godly lives.
This means that a young persons spiritual attractiveness can be
marred or hindered by parents who are not living in obedience to God's
will. The tragic truth is that few parents are playing the role that the Bible
assumes that they will. Young people are left on their own to learn by trial
and error. This is especially true in the whole area of sex education. We
read a great deal about sex in the Proverbs, and there are many frank
warnings of the dangers. Studies indicate that parents in America are
doing next to nothing to give guidelines to youth in this area. Even
Christian parents seem to be caught up in the cloud of indifference. We
wouldn't think of letting our children run about poorly clothed and poorly
fed, for care of the body is in harmony with the materialism of our age.
But we neglect the minds and souls of our children, and we leave them at
the mercy of the perverted influences of the world.
This proverb is worthless to the millions of teens whose parents are
not giving them guidance and instruction. The best thing the church can
do for the home is to seek to make it what the Bible assumes it will be and
that is a place of learning where parents are preparing their children to
walk in obedience to God. Where this is true Solomon says in verse 8,
"Listen, my son, to your father's instruction.." The problem with young
people is often that they just will not listen. They get their mind set and
will not take the time and effort to listen and think through the instruction
of their father. This is just as wrong in the parent, of course, and we see
here that the father is to instruct and not just demand blind submission.
Often young people do not listen because it is not instruction they hear,
but only the sound of opposition. Teens are yet immature in many ways,
but they are rational and are the peak of their demand for reason and
logic. If parents seek to guide them by emotion and poorly supported
opinions, they will have none to blame but themselves if they create
rebellion. Look at how you get fed up with the superficial arguments of
public leaders. Young people expect sound evidence and good sense to
support the guidance received from parents. Everything that is truly
biblical and Christian can be taught with this being true, and when it is,
young people have the same obligation to obey their parents as they do to
obey God.
Fear of God is the principle part of knowledge, and respect and
obedience to parents is the path that most young people take to reach that
goal. It is rare, and maybe even impossible, to find a young person who
has no respect for his parents who has reverence for God. The facts of life
and your own experience will tell you that obedience to God and parents
are closely related, for young people's attitude toward one is usually the
same toward the other. This is why it is so important for both parents and
young people to work at building up a relationship of teacher and student.
Notice how Solomon includes both parents and adds, "And do not forsake
your mother's teaching." Mom and dad are equal partners in this
business of teaching, and again, we see that the piety of the parents is
assumed.
Often, even in biblical times, the mother had the largest responsibility
in teaching. Men had to work and go to war, and the result was that the
burden fell on the mother. Jesus likely learned most of his basic
knowledge from Mary, and we know this was the case with Timothy,
whose mother and grandmother instructed him in Bible knowledge when
he was only a little boy. A Chinese proverb says, "When you educate a
man, you educate an individual. When you educate a woman, you educate
a whole family." The essential thing to see here is that the home is a unity,
and children are obligated to obey both parents and walk in the ways that
they guide. There are many exceptions to this ideal, and homes are not
always characterized by this kind of unity. Even so, young people are
obligated to obey their parents teaching as long as it conforms to the will of
God.
Solomon goes on in verse 9 to say of the parent's teaching, "They will
be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck." Here is
the kind of jewelry that God approves of. In other words, obedience to the
wise teaching of your parents will do for you what it did for Jesus. It will
cause you to grow in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.
It will attain for you the very thing your heart desires, and that is to be
attractive. A youth who is obedient and respectful of authority is a gem,
and they are soon appreciated and loved by all who come to know them.
These ornaments of character will last when all else decays, and when
all the fads are faded. With these one is always in style, and at the same
time always in step with the Savior. The necklace that obedience will place
around your neck will make you more attractive than all the diamonds in
the royal crowns of Europe.
