Spiritual Discipline: Silence and Solitude
August 1, 2021
I don’t think I need to tell you how crazy life is. We all have pressures and demands. They come in all different shapes, directions and sizes. Some are the result of our jobs, or are due to family situations or obligations. They come in the form of health issues and simply day to day demands.
We all go through them! One thing I’ve learned is that nobody really trains us in how to deal with the difficulties of life. I mean, there’s no manual called - - “Michael’s Book!” It would contain everything I need to know and do. It would tell me how to uniquely raise two different boys, how to treat Debbie the right way, how to pastor, how to be a friend, how to return an item to a store when they are not agreeing with me, how to grow older with grace and dignity, how to better connect with God . . . and more.
YET! There is a book that helps with all of that and more . . . it’s called the Bible! We’ve been looking at spiritual disciplines since April 11, with a few interruptions along the way. And we will finish on August 29.
Spiritual disciplines are designed to help us grow to become more Christ-like. We learn how to manage, change, adapt and handle the different situations in a manner which honors and glorifies Jesus. We’ve looked at a number of disciplines there are more external disciplines like worship and celebration. Today and next week, we’re going to look at 2 very internal disciplines. Today, we’re talking about silence and solitude.
Most of us don’t like silence. The SOUNDS OF SILENCE can be deafening. Because once it becomes silent and we’re alone, our voices start. And many times, we don’t like to hear our voices, because there can be a lot of negativity in our own voices AND the problems of life roar at us.
I know I’ve woken up in the middle of the night, and within moments, literally seconds, my brain has kicked into high gear and I’m thinking about an issue. Not what I want at 2 or 3 AM.
If you’re at home with the kids, finding quiet time is even more difficult. There’s homework, play time, being a playmate, hunger, household chores and more . . . and it can get pretty overwhelming.
So, let’s look at some biblical examples of silence and solitude, then we’ll talk about how we can begin to practice them.
After Jesus fed the 5,000 in Matthew 14, Matthew tells us --
22 Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of Him to the other side, while He dismissed the crowd. 23 After He had dismissed them, He went up on a mountainside by Himself to pray. When evening came, He was there alone. - Matthew 14:22-23
Jesus was alone on that mountainside, He went there to pray. There were so many people He had contact with that day, He needed the time and space not just to get away, which isn’t all that bad, but He wanted to be alone with the Father.
In the same way, in Mark 1, Jesus had just healed many people when we read --
35 Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where He prayed. 36 Simon and his companions went to look for Him, 37 and when they found Him, they exclaimed: "Everyone is looking for you! - Mark 1:35-37
I love this! Simon and the disciples go looking for Jesus and they couldn’t find Him because He went off to pray. Jesus wanted and needed to get away by Himself and pray. Everyone was looking for Him, people wanted Jesus to touch and heal them.
Jesus helps us see that prayer does NOT have to come at one particular time. In the first scripture Jesus was alone on the mountain in the evening. In the second, Jesus was alone early in the morning. Whether you pray in the morning or at night, find the time that works best for you.
There are the passages which remind us Jesus went off into the desert wilderness for 40 days, to spend time with God. The passage in Luke is interesting because when Jesus goes into the desert, we learn - - -
1 And Jesus, FULL of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit in the wilderness . . . - Luke 4:1
After Jesus withstands the temptations in the wilderness, Luke now tells us - -
14 And Jesus returned in the POWER of the Spirit . . . - Luke 4:14
Do you see what happened? Jesus went into the desert FULL OF THE HOLY SPIRIT and Jesus returned from the desert IN THE POWER OF THE SPIRIT.
I believe that’s a significant change. It tells me that when we take the time to connect with God, maybe in the desert or wherever that private space is, wanting and willing to hear the voice of God - - - then we can move in spiritual growth, from being filled with the Spirit of God, to gaining power from that same Spirit.
If Jesus sought times of silence and solitude and believed He needed to connect with the Father, than so should we. In order to be more like Jesus, to draw nearer to Christ, we must discipline ourselves to find times of silence and solitude. This helps us gain strength to face whatever comes our way.
So, what exactly is silence and solitude?
Silence is the voluntary and temporary abstention from speaking so that certain spiritual goals could be met. Silence allows us to do a few things,
1.) We begin to learn to quiet the world around us. When I worked as a chaplain, I would come home from work at the end of the day and as soon as I walked into my apartment, I would walk into the living room and turn on the television, then I would walk into the bedroom and get changed. I was surrounded by talking all day, yet, the first thing I would do is turn on the television. We don’t like silence.
One of the worships I really like to watch has moments in their worship where there’s silence. Sometimes it’s just background music. There are times it lasts for 10 or more minutes. When I’m watching, I want to fast forward, because that makes me uncomfortable.
When we practice silence, we begin to learn to turn off all of the noise around us. We realize we don’t need the noise which comes from social media, television, music and more to fill our background noise. We become comfortable in silence.
2.) Silence also helps us learn to listen. This is a huge one! One that’s so necessary. That’s not something people are very good at. We forget listening is an active adventure. And sometimes we shouldn’t speak.
James reminds us - - -
6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person . . .
8 no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. - James 3:6-9
In silence, we learn we need to control our tongues, and because we control our tongues, we become a better listener, an active listener.
3.) So, what happens when we control our tongues? When we honor the other person by being silent and listening? Oh, so much happens.
One of the great Scriptures to help marriages and any disagreements you have comes from James 1:19, he wrote ---
19 take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. - James 1:19
You hear what James is telling us? Be quick to listen; and the word quick really means just that . . . be quick, fast, swifty. Be swift to listen, then be slow to speak. The word slow means to be deliberately slow. In other words, you intentionally keep your mouth shut.
You see, when someone is talking to us, especially disagreeing with us, we’re coming up with our response while they’re talking. We’re not really listening because we’re planning our attack. So James helps us to know the first thing we should do is listen, listen, listen. Be silent! That is great advice.
The quicker you are to listen, and deliberately don’t talk, the better you will understand the other person, which leads to not being as angry, because now you understand them. It doesn’t mean you agree, it means you have a better grasp of what they are trying to convey to you.
Another thing we gain from silence in this passage from James is the fact that we should listen and not interrupt others. Does it ever happen to you, that you’re telling a story and someone interrupts you with their own story. They believe they’ve heard you, but they haven’t. Eventually, you just stop talking and walk away. You know that you were not heard . . . . at all!!
Often times, solitude and silence, go together. We learn how to become more comfortable with ourselves when we’re alone, and we learn how to enjoy ourselves and experience God’s presence when we’re in crowds.
Dallas Willard reminds us there is a risk in solitude, as in any discipline which leads us to spend time alone, reflecting on God, life and ourselves. He wrote, “we confront our own soul with its obscure forces and conflicts that escape our attention when we are interacting with others. Solitude serves to crack open and burst apart the shell of our superficial securities.”
As in Christian meditation, when we are alone with God, it is just you and Him. If it gets a little intense, there are no phone calls to make, no emails to check; it’s just the two of you, and that can be a little scary, but the rewards are great.
To hear God’s gentle whisper, we need to do what the Psalmist said in 46:10 --
10 Be still and know that I am God. - Psalm 46:10
The image of the word STILL is that we can relax, take a deep breath before God and know that He will not fail us. So, when we stop, we turn our attention on God. Then comes the promise of verse 11. Catch this great news - - -
The first part is great, be still and know God is God! Then we read - -
11 The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.
It’s the call of God to stop and be still . . . so that we can experience the power of the Lord of hosts. Which by the way literally means the God of the heavenly armies. We learn that when we can stop, and be still before God, we can meet God and know and trust that the God of the heavenly armies will be with us.
That God is our fortress. This gives me great comfort to know that when I STOP and know, trust and believe, when I can honestly and faithfully proclaim I know God, then the LORD of Hosts, the God who controls the heavenly army will be with me and will be my fortress. That is great news.
So, how do we make silence and solitude a real part of our lives?
So, make time this week to sit in silence. Turn off all gadgets, if you need, turn on a timer, because 5 or 10 minutes of silence for someone who has never tried it may feel like an eternity of silence. Just try 5 or 10 minutes. No talking, no noise, just you sitting and trying to open your heart, spirit, mind and body to listen to God.
You may even find yourself really relaxing through this. I’ve done this and started to doze. I think that’s great! Being relaxed in the presence of God -- is good.
When we try silence and solitude, we need to make the time. Just thinking you can do it at any time, usually does not work, so make an appointment with yourself, just like you would a doctor’s appointment.
Some of you may wonder, how am I going to find time for solitude and silence? My life is packed from 6 a.m. to 8 p.m. caring for kids and working. I hardly have time to breathe. Here’s my advice: set your sights really low.
Each day may only give you what one author called “crumbs of wasted time” — a minute of silence here, a few minutes of silence before bed. Take those crumbs and offer them to the Lord, knowing that’s the best you have for now. The Lord will celebrate those crumbs because He sees your life. Don’t under-estimate the beauty and power of those crumbs.
Find a special place where there are no interruptions. It may be at home, at a park, it could be coming to church, or somewhere where you can find quiet. You can be silent and still be doing a task. You can do the dishes, take a walk, cut the grass, vacuum, or whatever and still talk to God and listen to God.
There are lots of ways to practice silence and solitude, but you must start. To say, “I’ll do it later, never works.” Later never comes. One final caution, don’t always expect that every time you engage in silence and solitude there will be a life altering encounter with God. More often than not, our times with God are not intense, but they are emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically good for you. They bring renewal, just by taking the time to be alone with God.
We get a number of messages to hurry in our lives. The best thing we can do for ourselves, our family’s and our God is take the time to connect to Him. You won’t be sorry. Slow down, deep breath, and find peace in His arms!
