Let Me Explain
(Romans 15:14-33)
1. Some people are not honest with themselves and cling to excuses. Here is a true account:
In our younger days, my husband and I sign up for a“boot camp”fitness class. This class costs $300 per person for ten classes. At the start of the first class, our instructor. Tara, does a quick roll-call. She frowns and comments:
“Hmm, Susie isn’t here. That’s a shame; attending the first class is pretty crucial, because I go over some important techniques. Oh, well. I’ll call her later and see what happened.”
At the start of the second class, Susie is once again a no-show. Someone asks Tara, our instructor, if she’d gotten hold of her. Tara said,“Oh, yeah. She told me that she got super busy and was unable to make that first class, but she swore she’d be here today. I reminded her that she’d spent $300 and asked if another class time would fit her schedule better, but she said no.”
Third class, still no Susie. Fourth class, ditto. And so it went. She never did show up, despite Tara bending over backward to try to accommodate her. Susie always had an excuse:“I got busy,”“I forgot,”“I got stuck in traffic,”etc.
As for my husband and me, we enjoyed the class so much, we signed up again for the next session. So did Susie. And you can probably guess what happened.
I guess some folks just have money to burn! [edited, I suppled fictious names; story from: notalwaysright.com].
2. People like that ruin it for the rest of us. You cannot explain circumstances to some people – they view explanations as excuses, perhaps because of experience with people like Susie.
3. Paul did not wield his authority over the Roman believers and expect their unquestioning cooperation, but he was transparent and carefully explained his choices and decisions to them. He was forthcoming to the Romans because he knew they had listening ears.
4. They did not confuse explanations with excuses. There is a difference between an excuse and an explanation. An explanation gives others the relevant facts and shows what caused a choice or happening. An excuse is designed to push the fault for that thing away from oneself. Impatient and judgmental people often view explanations as excuses, and this mentality, besides being rude, can be very aggravating.
Main Idea: Blessed are the forthcoming, and blessed are those who intelligently listen and seek to understand. Others might turn a deaf ear because they judgmentally equate explanations with excuses.
I. Note What Paul EXPLAINED (14-33).
A. Paul explains why he WROTE Romans (14-16).
1. It wasn’t that he thought they were immature; they were capable to counsel one another in the things of God.
2. He viewed them and all gentile believers as his domain, and he wanted to bring them to maturity so that the offering would be especially pleasing to God.
3. The people we lead to Christ and nurture are, in a sense, an offering to God.
4. In the O.T., offerings were deliberate and took sacrifice; they followed God’s directives.
5. Same thing when it comes to discipling others: it has to be deliberate, takes time, involves sacrifice, and must be in accord with God’s directives. God gets the glory.
B. Paul explains why he hasn’t VISITED them yet (17-21).
1. Paul had been busy reaching people.
2. He is celebrating not what he did, but what God did though him.
3. But the indirect point is that he has been very busy in ministry and couldn’t do everything.
4. Now that he has started churches at strategic points, he can make time to visit the Romans.
5. This was not an excuse, but an actual reason.
C. Paul explains what he has to do BEFORE he can visit them (22-29).
1. He is on a project to deliver funds to the Jerusalem church.
2. He is hinting that they should contribute toward supporting the Jerusalem church.
3. Paul here teaches that we share in the blessings God gave to Israel, and so we have a debt of sorts to the Jewish believers.
4. The covenants of the Bible are the major structural points of Scripture. They exist to clarify the oaths God takes. They are not subject to future redefinitions since their purpose is clarity, nor are the meanings of their words changed. God will not take away from them, but He can add to them graciously.
D. Paul explains why he needs their PRAYER support (30-33).
1. He was in danger and needed protection.
2. Indeed, he did come to Rome, but in Roman custody. He did not arrive as he thought he would at this time, but he did arrive; and his prayer for protection were answered in a different way.
3. He wanted to do a good job in representing Jesus Christ.
4. 2 Corinthians 3:5, “Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God,”
II. What Challenges Do WE Face with Listening and Being Forthcoming?
A. PATIENCE
1. We can help others listen to us be getting to the point.
2. Learn from a newspaper article. Start with the point and then fill in details.
B. FOCUS
• Sometimes we have assumptions that keep us from hearing what is actually being said.
I do a lot of writing. One problem is proofreading. My mind automatically corrects errors, I don’t see them.
C. RESPECT
1. It is frustrating to explain something that matters to me when my explanation falls on deaf ears.
2. When someone doesn’t put in the effort to listen, it can easily harm or end a friendship. People resent it and usually don’t forget it.
3. Conflict is always lessened when people show respect, one to the other.
D. We should listen to UNDERSTAND, not necessarily fix the situation.
Illustration: nearly two decades ago, I was super busy counseling; one session 5 hours.
I had time to go to the bathroom between sessions, and that was all. A lady came by…
E. The habit of listening and being FORTHCOMING are important to relational skills.
1. One of the funniest movie clips is form Peter Sellers as the Pink Panther.
2. He speaks to a man with a heavy accent who is the clerk at a lodge, checking in.
3. Mssr., does your dog bite?
4. Why was this man not forthcoming? Why did he not offer the fact that was not his dog? Some people refuse to offer helpful information. They just answer questions.
5. We have to ponder when to be quiet and when to contribute unrequested – but helpful – information.
CONCLUSION
1. Let’s listen to what people have to say for themselves, and give them a fair shake before we write off their explanations as excuses. At the same time, we need to wise up when it comes to the Susies of this world!
2. And let’s judiciously offer helpful information instead of forcing others to extract it from us as a dentist extracts a tooth.
