Telling Someone Something You'll Never Do
It can be dangerous to tell someone something that you'll never do. Have you ever heard someone say something like (or maybe you've said it yourself), "I'll never let my kid play with that kind of toy," or "I'll never let my kid say things like that," or about yourself, I know I have - "I'll never spend that much time watching Netflix." Realizing about 3 hours later that I've wasted my day as I'm eating my own words. But, I know an insane about 72 dangerous animals in Latin America. So in the words of Carl Spackler, "I've got that going for me, which is nice."
Or how about this, are you the type of person, like me, who will mentally plan out how you will handle potential circumstances or scenarios before they come up?
"Okay tomorrow, when I see so-and-so, I'm going to say something to him. If he says this, then I'm going to do that."
I know I'm guilty of this. For instance, and I don't know if this is lunacy or wise preparation - but sitting in restaurants I don't like my back to the door. I've already decided this long ago. I sit down and I've already planned my escape - just in case something goes haywire. Those of you who have seen my office here, I rearranged it pretty early on into moving into it so that my back wasn't sitting to the door. As safe as New Hope is, in my mind it's a safety concern. Already planned out. I'm looking at the door.
The problem with these kinds of things is that we rarely know how we're going to respond to specific scenarios when they arise. We don't often know exactly how an event is going to transpire, and therefore we don't know exactly how we'll respond. In our wisdom we'll tell people things like, "oh, my kid will never do something like that" or, "when I get promoted or when I'm the manager I won't make mistakes like that..." Okay.
"I would never do what that person did."
Now before we really dive in this morning, let's go back to the night of the last supper. Jesus has taken the bread and broke it. He's taken the cup, gave thanks, and gave it to the disciples. We see in Matthew 26:30 that they had sung a hymn and then went out to the Mount of Olives.
Peter's Denial of Christ
Then Jesus told them, “This very night you will all fall away on account of me, for it is written: “ ‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.’ But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you into Galilee.” Peter replied, “Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will.” “Truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” But Peter declared, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” And all the other disciples said the same." - Matthew 26:31-35 (NIV)
Peter heard Jesus just a few verses earlier when He predicted that one of the group would become a traitor (Matt. 26:21), and now even more recently he's heard that all would "fall away" that very night (Matt. 26:31). You know, I can't help but notice that what we see here is this incredibly emotional response from Peter. And I say that because where in this prediction does Jesus ever condemn the disciples? He doesn't. Rather, what we see is a promise that they will be reunited after He is resurrected (Matt. 26:32).
See this is a huge moment. Peter's saying, even if all these guys disown you - I won't. Not me. Never. I never will. It's almost like he stops listening as soon as Jesus says that all of the disciples would "fall away" that night. And how relatable, right? He heard something that was mind-blowing, and quite frankly something that struck his ego. And then we see that with the same confidence that would eventually help contribute to Peter's strength as a leader, in this moment it takes the reins and his response is an emotional one driven by pride.
It reminds me of the following verse:
"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" Jeremiah 17:9 (ESV)
A pastor, Jason Fritz, from Illuminate Community church in Scottsdale, Arizona, applies this verse wonderfully, saying:
"What we believe about ourselves, and what is true about ourselves - very often that's two totally different things."
In other words, many of us, myself included, have a tendency to overestimate ourselves.
I can tell you that in my work as a Graphic Designer, and at other previous roles like as a Project Manager for web and software developers, it's timelines. We always think things aren't going to take as long as they do.
They do.
Illusory Superiority
This is a real thing called illusory superiority. I'll explain it by asking you just one question, "are you a better than average driver?"
I would bet that the vast majority of us here in this room didn't hesitate to answer "yes." Even if you answered internally.
In fact, there's a statistic I read that said something along the lines of 80% of people believe that they're an above-average driver, which living in Middle Tennessee means to me that only 20% of the people here tell the truth.
But also - 80% believer they're above-average. That's a statistical impossibility.
On a more serious note, on May 1, 1991, a book was published titled, "The Day America Told the Truth."
2,000 Americans were surveyed - they were asked the question, what would you do for 10 million dollars?
25% said that they would abandon their church.
25% said that they would abandon their families.
23% said they would become a prostitute for a week.
16% would give up their American citizenships.
16% would leave their spouse.
10% would withhold testimony and let a murderer go free.
7% admitted that they would murder a stranger.
3% said that they would actually put their children up for adoption for $10 million.
Do you think that our culture as a whole has become morally better in the last 31 years? What if the question was, what would we do if we knew we wouldn't get caught?
I don't share all of this to bring you down this morning, but to illustrate that the prophet Jeremiah hit the nail on the head: The heart is desperately sick.
"But above all things, the heart is deceitful."
"Even if everyone else fails you, I never will!"
"I never knew the man."
But like we see in Jeremiah 17:10, as well as throughout Jesus' ministry on earth and to this day, Jesus knows our hearts. And likewise:
He knows Peter's heart.
Given that, He knows the root of Peter's confidence in himself. He knows Peter's confidence in his own strength.
But what's more, He knows that Peter's confidence won't be enough in the coming hours.
But as we'll see, Peter will eventually learn that Jesus isn't interested in followers who derive their strength from themselves, and thank the Lord for that. Instead He's interested in followers who derive their strength from Him.
So what happened to Peter?
"Then they seized him and led him away, bringing him into the high priest's house, and Peter was following at a distance. And when they had kindled a fire (anth-rak-ee-ah' in the original Greek) in the middle of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat down among them. Then a servant girl, seeing him as he sat in the light and looking closely at him, said, "This man also was with him." But he denied it, saying, "Woman, I do not know him." And a little later someone else saw him and said, "You also are one of them." But Peter said, "Man, I am not." And after an interval of about an hour still another insisted, saying, "Certainly this man also was with him, for he too is a Galilean." But Peter said, "Man, I do not know what you are talking about." And immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how he had said to him, "Before the rooster crows today, you will deny me three times." And he went out and wept bitterly." - Luke 22:65-62 (ESV)
Again - "the heart is deceitful above all things."
Peter said the words earlier that night, "Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you."
Then a short while later, the words "I do not know him" leave his mouth.
What do you do when you've done something you said you'd never do?
Or perhaps an even bigger question, what do you do when you're confronted about it?
The Redemption of Peter
"When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you." He said to him, "Feed my lambs." "He said to him a second time, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you." He said to him, "Tend my sheep." He said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?" Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, "Do you love me?" and he said to him, "Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you." Jesus said to him, "Feed my sheep." - John 21:15-17 (ESV)
Jesus is eating breakfast with some of His disciples after the resurrection on the shore of the Sea of Galilee. They're sitting around a fire, specifically the greek phrase used here, anth-rak-ee-ah', a fire of coals like the one Peter found himself standing beside as he denied Christ. This is the only other place in scripture this phrase is used. Then, breakfast was finished, and Jesus spoke.
Can you imagine Peter's emotions in this moment? I can imagine that his heart must have skipped a beat when he heard Jesus's words breaking the silence, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?”
He was asking, “Simon (using his original name), do you truly love me? After all that's happened, and you know what I mean, can you truly say you love me? And do you love me more than these other disciples do?” Now we don't have in Scripture exactly what was running through Peter's mind at this moment, but from our own emotions, and from our own experiences I'm sure we can start to imagine a fraction of what it must have been like.
His heart probably began to race
his stomach churned
his cheeks burned
Maybe his eyes even began to water.
This was a tense moment, and for good reason.
"Simon (Peter's name before He met Christ), son of John, do you love me more than these?"
With this one question, He's taking him back to a couple of places.
"Simon, son of John, do you remember what you were like before I met you? Do you remember your human weakness?” This question from Jesus, though motivated by love, was a highly calculated one. Jesus is also asking Peter if he loved Him more than the other disciples did, "do you love me more than these?".
"Do you remember when I said that you will all fall away on account of me? Do you remember me saying that you should all wait for me in Galilee after my resurrection? Do you remember saying, even if all fall away, I never will? Do you still love me more than these?"
Peter's sitting there, the painful aroma of the same kind of fire, anth-rak-ee-ah', from the night he denied Christ, looking into His eyes, the same eyes from that night. Phrases like, "more than these," "I will never fall away," "do you love me?"
The power of this question is just mercifully brutal.
Agape Love & Phileo Love
There's something that I want to point out this morning and that's the Greek words that are used in this conversation between Jesus and Peter. I'm doing so because this conversation has an incredible flow between Jesus and Peter that gets lost in the English translation that we have. So let's look at this briefly.
See, this first time Jesus asks, "do you love me?" The Greek word agape, is used. If you've been around church for some length of time, this is a word that isn't probably all that new to you. It's the deepest word that could be used when describing love. The richest word you could use when describing your love for someone. Unconditional.
"Simon, son of John, am I the object of your highest affection?"
"Yes, Lord, you know that I phileo you."
That Greek word, phileo, means a brotherly type of love. It's the word from which we get Philadelphia.
We see the word deliberately changed here. Peter doesn't respond with "I agape you," rather, "I phileo you." He doesn't use the same word that Christ uses.
So what does this interchange read like with this in mind?
"Peter, am I the object of your highest affection? Do you unconditionally love me?"
"Jesus, you know that I care about you."
"Feed my lambs." Or in other words, "Then serve me."
Jesus asks him again in verse 16:
"Peter, do you agape me?"
This time Jesus drops the comparison. There's no, "do you love me more than these?" Just: "Do you love me? Do you agape me?" The question really is, "do you really love me? Unconditionally. That's the bottom line of what I'm getting at."
"Yes, Lord. You know I care about you."
Again, a gentle response from Jesus, "Tend my sheep."
Now the third time, the question changes: "Peter, do you phileo me?"
The Greek word changes here. From agape that's being used the first two times by Jesus, to phileo this last time He asks the question.
"Simon, son of John, do you really have the affection for me that you're claiming?"
See, this conversation and the weight of it isn't lost on Peter. It's a heavy conversation and rightfully so. Verse 17 tells us that he's grieved by the third time Jesus asks this question.
For Peter to be able to say, "You're really the object of my highest affection" would that be really true? The point isn't for us to make that call, but to see here that Jesus is getting Peter to really think deeply about this.
Again, I mentioned it earlier and I'll say it again - how relatable is Peter?
Have you been in a conversation before in which you are being asked something, and you want to be honest in how you answer? But in order for you to be really honest, something is going to have to come out, something will have to be revealed.
You get question after question. You know the answer, but it's painful.
See, for Peter, the last time he was standing around a charcoal fire he was asked three questions about whether or not he knew Jesus.
"I don't know him."
Now he's by a charcoal fire being asked three times by Jesus, "do you love me?"
Jesus is leading Peter to a type of recognition and repentance of his sin that isn't one of saying, "I regret doing that because I got caught."
"I regret denying you because you noticed."
Not that.
The Top Priority
The type of recognition of our sins that we're called to have as Christians is, "I'm sorry that I did that. I'm sorry I hurt you."
I'll be the first one to tell you that I have regrets in life. I've sinned. Some of those sins, probably most of them hurt someone else to some degree. I regret that I've done that.
Or to put it in other words, when we recognize our sin, when we're repentant not because God knows, and we regret that we're caught, but when we're truly repentant, it's like saying, "I did that. I'm sorry that I did that. I regret that I did that. I own it." Because if I don't "own it," then I'll never "grow out of it."
You're here right now. Sitting in this sanctuary. Or maybe you're watching this on in your living room, or on your phone, and maybe you're caught up in something. Maybe you've been accused of something. Maybe it has to do with a relationship you're in or a friendship or lack thereof.
Now I know that there's two sides to everything, but my question for you this morning is this: Is there something that you need to own? Is there something that you need to recognize your part in the situation?
"Those accusations aren't fair, but I do know that here's what I did wrong."
"Maybe I can/could/should do something to make it right."
And again, I'll be the first to tell you - it starts with repentance. It starts with the primacy of our love for God.
See, at the end of verse 17 I don't want you to miss the beauty of this passage.
The restoration of Peter was accomplished, and the disciples there had seen it. Again, the denials happened before a charcoal fire, and now as we come full circle, Peter's confessions were before a charcoal fire.
There were three denials, and now there are three confessions, but there are also three gracious commissions.
Feed my lambs
Tend my sheep
Feed my sheep
Christ is saying to us that the greatest priority in our lives should be our love for God.
Peter loved God with all his heart. He was affirmed in that love each time before being commissioned. Some of us love him dearly, others may not. But the message remains the same. Before all things, we must love Him with all our hearts.
This question, "do you love me" isn't reserved solely for Peter. Yes, Christ asked it directly to him, but it is also the number one question for every single one of us who want to please God.
As Christians, we are called to serve, to feed the sheep. Babies have almost no influence in a culture. We are to feed, nurture, and fill others with the strength of Christ through and of His Word, so that they can then do the same for others. but how easy is it to put our primary priority on that service rather than on where the desire for that service comes: loving God. That's the priority.
I'll leave you this morning with this:
In this present darkness we see in our world, it is far better to be a light, that others may be shown the way. And the wonderful, awe-inspiring thing is that it's not through our own strength that we be a light in a dark world, but through the strength of Christ.
It can be so easy for us to look at Peter and think, "I would never deny Him three times like he did right in front of Jesus."
But instead, what an incredible example and admirable trait to be able to say when Jesus asks, "do you love me?" to be able to say, "Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you."
