5 Love Languages - Gifts
May 8, 2022
I think we all enjoy receiving gifts. Some though like it more, in fact, they live for those gifts. They don’t have to be super expensive, just something which says I was thinking about you. Of course, if you don’t know that someone craves receiving gifts and you don’t give them, then you’re missing out on a way to love someone who is very close to you.
That’s what we’re talking about this morning. It’s Mother’s Day. To me, it’s ladies day. It’s a day to honor the ladies in the church. It’s a day to use all of the love languages, to know the love language of the ladies in your life, so you can say thank you for the difference they have made in your life. I also think it’s fully appropriate to give thanks in memory of those who made a difference, but are no longer here.
We may look for that perfect card, when the words are already in our hearts. And sometimes our gifts can cross over and be 2 love languages in one. Making a card with your own words and then giving it to that special someone would be an example of words of affirmation and giving gifts. And our love language today is just that . . . giving gifts.
We’ve been looking at the 5 love languages and so far, we’ve talked about two of them.
Words of Affirmation - using words to encourage and build up another person. It could be writing them down, saying them, singing them - - - but it’s letting a person know they are loved through words. Words are very powerful, so say them with kindness.
Last week we looked at Quality Time. In our busy lives, I believe this is one of the easier love languages to mess up on. Someone wants us to give them our undivided attention. Not to look at the phone or do the dishes while they’re talking to us. They want us to be present with them, focused on them.
If you haven’t taken the love language quiz, to figure out your love language, you can do it at the website that’s on the screen. It only takes 15 minutes and you’ll have an idea of your primary love language. It’s great for adults and kids as well.
Remember, this isn’t just about relating to a spouse, but relating to kids and others we’re closest to. Isn’t that the goal in every relationship . . . how can I fulfill you? How can I show God’s love to you? That should be an over-arching question we’re asking.
With this in mind, I want to look at one of the most extravagant, maybe the most extravagant gift which is given in the Bible. The time is drawing closer for the death of Jesus, and in Mark 14, we read - - -
3 While Jesus was in Bethany, reclining at the table in the home of Simon the Leper,
a woman came with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, made of pure nard. She broke the jar and poured the perfume on His head.
4 Some of those present were saying indignantly to one another, “Why this waste of perfume?
5 It could have been sold for more than a year’s wages and the money given to the poor.” And they rebuked her harshly.
6 “Leave her alone,” said Jesus. “Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me.
7 The poor you will always have with you, and you can help them any time you want. But you will not always have me.
8 She did what she could. She poured perfume on my body beforehand to prepare for my burial.
9 Truly I tell you, wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.” - Mark 14
There’s a lot of speculation about who this woman was, but that really doesn’t matter. She gave a gift to Jesus, she poured perfume over Him, unknowingly preparing His body for His death and burial.
Everyone around her was indignant. They could have served the poor. Given lots of meals to the homeless and sick. In their eyes, she was wasteful. But Jesus didn’t think so, and her memory, her good deed of love is still remembered.
You see, this woman speaks to the motivation of giving. It’s a matter of the heart. It can be expensive, it can be inexpensive. It can be big or small. None of it matters accept the heart.
What was she wanting from Jesus in return from her gift? What did she ask Jesus to do for her? And here’s where we see her heart. And this is most important!
She wanted absolutely nothing! She didn’t expect anything in return. That’s the sign of a gift given from the heart. We don’t give just because it’s Mother’s Day, we give because we’re blessed to give. We give because we’re honored to show our love for another person.
She didn’t want anything from Jesus. That should be the entire focus of giving and receiving gifts.
Too many times we give gifts in a perfunctory manner. We give because we’re supposed to. It wouldn’t look good to walk into someone’s home without a gift, so we rush to the store and buy a gift we really don’t care if they like, and we hope it’s on sale, which is even better.
The attitude behind the gift is so important. This woman came to the house with a plan in mind. This was a premeditated act. She was filled with love and adoration for Jesus. She had an attitude of love and giving.
Her gift was also personal. It was her alabaster. She could have sold it to pay the bills or get food and clothes or given it to the poor, but to her there was no better gift to give to Jesus, than to give Him an offering, not out of her plenty, but one that was sacrificial.
Think about it . . . this was a year’s salary. Whatever you make in a year, think about giving it away. That’s what everyone else was thinking. They’re outraged! Yet, Jesus fully understood. She blessed Him because it was so personal and generous.
Remember, gifts don’t have to be expensive, but when you do it right, there’s always a sense of generosity behind it. If you stop at the dollar store and pick up something you know your loved one likes, there’s meaning behind it because you had to make a special trip, or at least stop somewhere you didn’t have to in order to bless them.
Get a drawing from a child, whom you know worked on it especially for you and you cherish it. You put it on your refrigerator. You tell everyone who comes over ‘look what this child drew for me.’ It’s a gift from the heart, even if you don’t even know what the picture is, you still love and cherish it.
When you give a gift, part of the fun in giving can be how you do it. We used to and sometimes still do, tell one another to close your eyes and hold out your hands. It was always fun, even when it was a silly nonsensical gift. It was exciting
And that’s how we often do gifts in our house. They’re often fun and silly. One of the my boys, I won’t tell you who, will find things in the house, wrap them and give them as presents. We know it’s coming, but we can’t help from laughing and having fun. We give the same presents for different occasions. We make it fun. Yet, none of us has a primary love language of receiving gifts, but we make it fun.
And you never give a gift by throwing it at someone. You give it with pride and joy, if it’s not done this way, it diminishes the love which is behind the gift; and that has an entirely different meaning. So, giving gifts in the right way is really important to the person receiving the gift.
Ultimately, we’re called to give gifts, because we first received the gift of life and faith from God. James tells us - -
17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. - James 1:17
We give because God the Gift Giver is at work in us. 1 John tells us we love because God first loved us. We give because God first gave to us.
Jesus used all five love languages and undoubtedly, He was a master at matching them with people appropriately.
Some of you may be thinking, “If I get this right for my spouse, maybe they’ll love me how I want to be loved.” But a word of caution, learning someone’s love language is never for your benefit, it’s sacrificial like Christ.
Jesus never asked for anything in return, even as He poured out His life. He gave freely with no strings attached - - - and we’re to follow His example as well.
While the actual gift might be great, for people with this love language, it’s more about the thought behind the gift. The present serves as a tangible, symbolic reminder of the love shared. It shows you placed thought behind it. That means most last minute gift buying isn’t going to work.
If someone has that love language, you may want to write it down when you hear them say they want a certain item. You can write it as a memo on your phone. It’s too easy to forget what they say. When you give a gift, you’re investing in the relationship, filling their love tank.
For example, maybe your girlfriend mentions she’s been homesick and craving her mom’s snickerdoodles. The next week, you surprise her with a plate of freshly baked cookies. It costs a few dollars for the ingredients, but the fact that you remembered her comment, reached out to her family for the recipe and baked them, would probably mean more than a present you bought because it seemed flashy or impressive. Or you can have her to your home and bake them together as a surprise cooking adventure.
Also note that people with this love language usually love to give gifts as well. And chances are, they’re pros at it since they put a ton of thought and meaning into the presents they give. So, if that’s low for you, it could create some tension when your loved one is stewing over what gift to give, when you just want to run to the store and buy anything.
Now, let’s look at how this makes a difference in our relationship with God. The first thing we need to talk about is the fact that God is a giving God. One of the greatest passage we can look at is from Paul in Romans 6:23 - - -
23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. - Romans 6:23
Talk about an amazing gift!! Even though we’re sinners and the result of our sin should be death apart from God, God gives us this amazing free gift of eternal life in Jesus. What a great gift that God gives us.
Consider what Paul tells us in Ephesians 1 - - -
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places,
4 even as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him. In love
5 He predestined us for adoption to Himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will,
6 to the praise of His glorious grace, with which He has blessed us in the Beloved.
7 In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace,
8 which He lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight - Ephesians 1:3-8
This is a gift we’re receiving from God. He lavishes His love on us! He adopts us as His kids. Giving us all the benefits. He chose us! He gives us every spiritual blessing!! We’re redeemed by His blood, we’re forgiven.
No greater gift has anyone ever given than that which Jesus gave. He gave His life for us, He’s given the gifts of forgiveness and eternal life to us, and offers this gift to all who will come to Him in faith. Think about the great statement by Jesus in John 3:16 - - -
16 “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. - John 3:16
So, how do we respond to the gifts that God has given us? And I’m not mentioning every gift we’ve been given by God. If we started we could keep going on and on. The gifts of life, grace, mercy, love, His Spirit, His strength and power. His healing. His presence. Hope and more.
We respond by giving back to God as we seek to build His kingdom. That’s how we make a difference in the world. We show the world who Jesus is by using the gifts God has given us. God has given us many spiritual gifts, which every believer has. Nobody who claims Jesus is Lord and Savior goes without them. We ALL have gifts. We need to discover them. If you’re not sure, let me know and I’ll help you discover how you’re gifted by God.
We have the opportunity to serve. That means we get involved in the local church as a volunteer. Let me tell you the church could not be what it is today, if it weren’t for you . . . the people who are willing to help and serve.
We also have the opportunity to give back financially. We recognize God has blessed us so much financially. So, we give back as we use the blessing of receiving financially from God, so we give back to the church in order to build His kingdom on earth.
We give ourselves to one another simply by coming to this building to worship together. We seek to connect together in online worship. We form a community of believers. When someone is struggling, we’re there to help one another.
We give of our time and money and servanthood.
We can give back to God simply by worshiping Him. Leaving ourselves open to experience His power and grace so that we receive gifts from God as we seek to give the gift of ourselves to Him.
Well, I think I’ve hit what we needed to hit. The love language of giving. And it’s not being a master regifter either. It’s knowing someone has that love language and you seek to help them know they are loved, through gifts.
And we also see how we can give gifts back to God, which builds His kingdom, but it also changes us. When we give, when we do it cheerfully, gladly, with joy, that changes us. Trust me, it does and always will.
Would you pray with me.
