ILLUSTRATION:
I’m sure most of you have heard of the Hatfields and McCoys, two famous (or infamous) FEUDING FAMILIES from the hills of Pikesville, Kentucky. (Actual photo of the Hatfields taken in 1897.) Now, what you might not know is this famous FAMILY FEUD lasted for a DECADE—and it started over a stolen PIG! History’s not sure who STOLE the PIG, but we do know both of
these families were SERIOUS about their PORK.
The FEUD began with WORDS and BLOWS from the PATRIARCHS of both families, William Hatfield (aka as Devil Anse) and Randolph McCoy, and the BATTLE LINE was drawn
between these two FAMILIES.
They fought over the Civil War—the Hatfields fought for the South, the McCoys fought for the North. They fought over the COURTSHIP of a Hatfield boy and McCoy girl. Later the FEUD went to COURT over TIMBER RIGHTS and the tension escalated between the CLANS until BULLETS began flying in 1888. Before it was all over, at least 12 people were dead.
The FEUD finally ENDED in 1891. Since then the Hatfields and McCoys have gotten along pretty well—they even have FAMILY GET-TOGETHERS. All that changed in January of 2000. There was a news story, which reported the descendants of the Hatfields and McCoys were at it
again—and this time, it was over “TOURISM”.
The McCoy family wanted to run PAID TOURS of the “FEUD SITES”. And to do this, they needed public access to a GRAVEYARD where 3 of their BULLET-RIDDEN ancestors are BURIED. The problem was, in order to get to this particular cemetery, TOURISTS would have to walk or drive over HATFIELD LAND—and this is something the HATFIELDS didn’t want!
That FEUD went on for three years, until finally on June 14, 2003 Reo Hatfield and Bo & Ron McCoy drafted a TREATY that proclaims: “The Hatfield and McCoy families: Do hereby and formally declare an official end to all hostilities, implied, inferred and real, between the families, now and forevermore.” Both families SIGNED it on CBS’ The Saturday Early Show. Now Pikeville, Kentucky is at PEACE once again.
A. FAMILY FEUDS didn’t start with the Hatfields and McCoys, nor will they end with them.
1. Family feuds have been going on since the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve started the BLAME
GAME over who was at FAULT for eating the FORBIDDEN FRUIT.
a. Then sometime later their son Cain MURDERED his brother Abel out of JEALOUSY.
b. Thus, FAMILY FEUDS continue to this day.
2. You may have seen a few FEUDS in your own FAMILY.
COMMENT:
I don’t think there is a FAMILY in this CHURCH, nor in the entire WORLD that is FEUD FREE—FREE of any CONFLICT. Now, granted, most of these FAMILY FEUDS don’t end up with BULLETS FLYING, but they do often end up with VERBAL VOLLEYS that cause WOUNDS that takes a long time to HEAL.
B. In our text James is referring to FAMILY FEUDS among brothers and sisters in Christ—CONFLICT
among CHURCH MEMBERS. Can you imagine?
1. He explains that there are three different kinds of CONFLICT going on among them.
2. Then he turns right around and tells us how each one of them can be STOPPED.
MESSAGE:
I. THE CAUSES OF CHURCH CONFLICTS
A. WE ARE AT CONFLICT WITH EACH OTHER- James 4:1, 11-12 (READ) (“Royal Law.”)
1. The New Testament has a great deal to say about CONFLICTS—FIGHTING among fellow
Christians.
a. 1 Corinthians 1:11- “My brothers, some from Choe’s household has informed me that there
are quarrels among you.”
b. 1 Corinthians 3:3- “You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among
you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere men.”
c. A few months later Paul was planning to VISIT the Corinthian church and he WRITES in 2 Corinthians 12:20- “I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you… I fear that there may be quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip,
arrogance and disorder.”
d. Galatians 5:15- “If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be
destroyed by each other.”
e. Paul had to beg the “Ephesian church to come back together and be one”- Ephesians 4
f. Even his favorite church, “the great congregation of LOVE in Philippi, was suffering from a devastating FAMILY FIGHT that started with two sisters in Christ who couldn’t get along”
- Philippians 4.
COMMENT:
The first century churches are not UNIQUE. There are many churches even today that are in the midst of INTERNAL FEUDING and FIGHTING. You may know a few—you may have been in one or two.
ILLUSTRATION:
Years ago, Leslie Flynn wrote a book entitled, Great Church Fights. In it he chronicled the way people in different churches would go after each other—all in the name of Jesus Christ. He told about a young father who heard a commotion out in his backyard, he looked outside and saw his DAUGHTER and several her FRIENDS in a heated ARGUMENT. When he intervened, his daughter called back, “Dad, we’re just playing church!”
2. Seriously, it is a GRIEVOUS UGLY thing when the BODY of Christ is at WAR with itself.
a. Leader against leader . . . church against church . . . brother against brother.
COMMENT:
During my 35 years of preaching I have seen churches FIGHT and some DIVIDE over KITCHENS, SUNDAY SCHOOL CLASSES, CARPET COLORS, BIBLE TRANSLATIONS, MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS, WORSHIP STYLES, PRAISE TEAMS, the PLACEMENT of the COMMUNION in the SERVICE—before or after the SERMON, the use of the words “THEE” and “THOU” in PRAYER, and a number of other PETTY ISSUES. (These church fights prompted Marvin Phillips, a well-respected minister among both the Church of Christ and Independent Christian Church fellowships, to write the book: “Don’t Shoot, We May Both Be On The Same Side”.)
b. Sadly, the WORLD watches these CHURCH FEUDS and says: “WHO NEEDS IT!”
c. No wonder Jesus prayed so desperately in the garden: “May they all be one, Father, even as You and I are, so that the world may BELIEVE that You have sent Me”- John 17:21.
COMMENT:
So, why do God’s people fight with each other? We belong to the same family, we serve the same Lord, and we are indwelled by the same Holy Spirit. And yet all over the world we still fight with each other. Why? It brings me to my second point.
B. WE ARE AT CONFLICT WITH OURSELVES- James 4:1-3 (READ)
1. The reason there are FIGHTS and CONFLICTS in churches is because of SELFISHNESS.
a. The words “desires” in v. 1 and “pleasures” in v. 3 are the same Greek word, and it’s where
we get the English word “HEDONISM”
b. The word HEDONISM means to be so ABSORBED in the pursuit of your own PERSONAL
PLEASURE that you will do what ever you have to in order to PLEASE yourself.
COMMENT:
It’s the mentality that says that all that matters is ME—what I WANT—what I LIKE. “My MINISTRY or INTERESTS must be ADVANCED.” “My PRIORITIES must take PRECEDENCE.” “My PERSPECTIVES are most VALID.”
Such people will do what they can to make themselves HAPPY no matter the COST—no matter who gets HURT in the PROCESS.
2. We often see this in CHURCHES, especially when it comes to WORSHIP STYLES.
a. We have been FIGHTING this BATTLE since the 70’s.
b. Let’s face it, there are GENERATIONAL DIFFERENCES when it comes to different styles of
WORSHIP—especially regarding MUSIC.
COMMENT:
The YOUNGER GENERATION usually wants to sing the more CONTEMPORARY PRAISE SONGS while the OLDER GENERATION loves the more TRADITIONAL HYMNS.
This often causes FACTIONS in many churches, especially when one group wants the KIND of MUSIC they like at the cost of ALIENATING the other GROUP.
c. But it shouldn’t be that way. To me, the most obvious solution is to have a BLENDED WORSHIP, where both TRADITIONAL and CONTEMPORARY music is SUNG during the WORSHIP SERVICES. This is how both generations are HONORED and RESPECTED.
3. If we can be less SELFISH at HOME, at WORK, at CHURCH, and in our COMMUNITIES, there would be a lot less FIGHTING in the WORLD.
C. WE ARE AT CONFLICT WITH GOD- James 4:4-6 (READ)
1. The root cause of every CONFLICT, every FEUD . . . inside and outside the church. . . is
REBELLION against God.
a. Specifically, James is talking about CHOOSING the WORLD over God. James describes such
people as “ADULTEROUS”—cheating on God with the WORLD.
COMMENT:
We often find our WORLDLY DESIRES at conflict with God’s DESIRES. We want what
we want because we think that it is BETTER than what God has for us.
b. Everyday we choose to CHEAT ON God or we CHOOSE NOT TO. We either satisfy the DESIRES of our FLESH or of our SOUL.
ILLUSTRATION:
You choose PORNOGRAPHY over God, you’re CHEATING on God. You choose PRE-MARITAL or EXTRA-MARITAL SEX over God, you’re CHEATING on God. You choose ALCOHOL or DRUGS over God, you’re CHEATING on God.
You choose your JOB over God, you’re CHEATING on God. You choose your POSSESSIONS over God, you’re CHEATING on God. You choose your FAMILY or FRIENDS over God, you’re CHEATING on God. You choose YOURSELF over God, you’re CHEATING on God.
2. God DEMANDS and DESERVES our UNRIVALED LOVE and ALLEGIANCE.
a. Luke 14:25-27, 33 (READ and COMMENT)
b. The word “HATE” is a strong word, and, yet, Jesus chose that word to make a point that our LOVE for Him is not to be RIVALED by anyone or anything—not even OURSELVES.
ILLUSTRATION:
When I was about 5-years-old we had a neighbor lady who would often come over to our house for a VISIT. Mrs. Bosky was her name. One day as Mrs. Bosky was about to leave she grabbed me by the cheeks and said, “You are the cutest thing! One day I’m going to CATCH your Mom ASLEEP and SNATCH you AWAY from HER.”
I HATED that WOMAN! I thought she was trying to take my MOM’S PLACE. I had an UNRIVALED LOVE for my Mom, and I DETESTED anyone who tried to take her PLACE. Whenever Mrs. Bosky came over to VISIT I made sure that my MOM stayed AWAKE.
c. We are to allow NO ONE or NO THING to TAKE God’s PLACE in our LIVES.
II. THE CURE FOR CONFLICTS- James 4:7-10 (READ)
A. REPENT- “Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
1. “Repent” is a word that Satan despises. Because he knows along with REPENTANCE is a
deep GODLY SORROW for the SIN in your LIFE and the DESIRE to CHANGE.
a. 2 Corinthians 7:10a- “Godly sorrow brings REPENTANCE that leads to salvation and leaves
no regret…”
COMMENT:
Godly sorrow creates a DEEP, WOUNDING remorse for the SINS you and I have COMMITTED to the point that we’d never want to COMMIT them again. Our SIN should HURT—it should bring a SEARING PAIN to our SOULS.
b. This is why James tells his readers who are involved in sin to “Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts you double-minded. Grieve, mourn, and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom.”
2. James is telling his readers to “repent of your SELFISHNESS, repent of your QUARRELING and FIGHTING among YOURSELVES, repent of your HEDONISTIC—PLEASURE SEEKING ways, repent of your PRIDE that places you ABOVE others.”
COMMENT:
Where there is REPENTANCE in a FEUDING CHURCH there you will find the MENDING of RELATIONSHIPS, the HEALING of WOUNDED HEARTS, and the ONENESS and UNITY that God DESIRES and for which Jesus PRAYED.
B. RETURN- “Submit yourselves to God . . . Come near to God and He will come near to you.”
1. We need to realize that when we are involved in FIGHTING and FEUDING among ourselves in our CHURCHES, in our HOMES, on the JOB, in our NEIGHBORHOODS, we have MOVED AWAY from God.
a. The last thing listed on God’s HATE LIST is: “A man who stirs up dissension among brothers” - Proverbs 6:19b.
COMMENT:
God HATES it when fellow-Christians cannot get along. Where there are churches who are FIGHTING and FEUDING, God is not in their MIDST.
b. That’s why James says, “Submit yourselves to God.”
COMMENT:
The word “SUBMIT” means: “Get into a proper rank” or “Get back in line.”
2. James is exhorting his readers to GET BACK IN LINE with God—to leave the RANKS of Satan and rejoin God’s RANKS—God’s ARMY.
a. God wants those who have gone AWOL—those whom have gone over to the side of the ENEMY as seen in their SELFISH, HEDONISTIC LIFESTYLE—to RETURN to Him.
b. When we humbly DRAW CLOSER to God, He will BRING us closer to His side where we will find LOVE, JOY, and PEACE that are so NEEDED in our CHURCHES and in our COMMUNITIES..
CONCLUSION:
A. During the past weeks of this study, I have had to EXAMINE myself many times and CONFESS many SINS in my own life before I could stand and deliver this message to God’s people.
B. This study should hit home to many of us, and drive us to our knees.
C. Pray for Garfield Christian Church, pray for our LEADERS, and please PRAY for me your preacher, that God will continue to BURDEN my heart for His WORK, His WORD, and His WORLD.
