Becoming Your Best ‘Me’ In 2023
MGCC – welcome to the year 2023, I’m glad you made it!
Happy New Year!
AND LISTEN – there is no better place to be to kick off the very first day new year, than in His House... AMEN?!
A few Scriptures as we begin...
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well... Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. – Psalms 139:13,14,16
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. – Jeremiah 29:11
For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. – Ephesians 2:10
QUESTION...
Whose workmanship are you?
Your friends? Your spouse? Your parents? Yourself?
UNDERSTAND B/S – you are not ‘your’ workmanship; your life is not your project. Your life is ‘God’s’ project.
God thought you up. He created you.
And He knows who you are intended to be, and what you are intended to do?
Get It?
NOW – this morning... the first day of the new year (Happy New Year!)... BTW – did you know that the January the first will not be on a Sunday again until 2034...
MGCC – today as we begin a new year together, we are going to unpack a conversation, that I am calling...
Becoming The Best ‘ME’ in 2023
Prayer
QUESTION... – 12 am this morning, when the…
• The ball dropped in Times Square
• The peach dropped in Atlanta
• The giant 400 lb. peep dropped in Bethlehem, PA
• The huge chunk of cheese dropped in Plymouth, WI
• The pickle dropped in Mt Olive, NC
• The massive potato dropped in Boise, ID
• The guitar dropped in Memphis, TN
• The stuffed muskrat wearing a top hot and bowtie named Marshall P. Muskrat dropped in Princess Anne, MD
AND – everyone cheered, shouted and celebrated.
DO YOU - think that anyone who was shouting ‘Happy New Year’ was hoping that their 2023 would be one of their worst years ever? Of course not.
INSTEAD – they (like us in this room/online) were hoping that the year 2023... would be a great year, the best year ever.
QUESTION... of the billions who shouted ‘Happy New Year’ what percentage do you think will actually have one, have a Happy 2023?
NOW – one of the things that people do in an effort to make the new year better, is they make news years resolutions.
Ever made any? Are you making any for 2023?
NOW - the tradition of the New Year's Resolutions goes all the way back to 153 B.C., when Janus a mythical god of early Rome was placed at the head of the calendar.
Janus was the god of beginnings and transitions… and presided over passages, doors, gates and endings, as well as in transitional periods such as from war to peace.
He was usually depicted as having two faces looking at opposite ways, one towards the past and the other towards the future.
Over time Janus became the ancient symbol for resolutions.
OKAY...
BUT - whatever the history is, we all know that January the first, is the time that many people make new years resolutions…. (~ 60% of Americans make them)
So, what are we all wishing for in 2023?
Here are some of the top New Year's resolutions according to a recent survey….
QUESTION – are there any of yours on the list?
NOW - statistics indicate that…
• 60% of Americans will make them
• after only week, almost 25% of us have bailed out on whatever it was we had resolved to do;
• after a month, more than 80% have given up;
• and by years end only 8% actually kept them.
Reasons for failing to keep them
• 35% set unrealistic goals
• 33% did not track progress
• 23% forgot about them
• 10% made too many resolutions
There is an old Irish toast that says, “may your trouble in the coming year be as short as your New Year’s Resolution.”
BUT LISTEN - even though people fail to keep them (at a pretty massive rate) most people still keep making them… Why?
I THINK BECAUSE - there is something in us that looks forward to new beginnings, do-overs and fresh starts, isn’t there?
YEAH - there is something deep within us that...
• desires change, longs to reach higher and
• dreams of a better more fulfilling life
YOU SEE – in most of our lives there is a nagging sense that things are NOT, as they should be or as they could be.
BUT MGCC - this year can be different…
YEAH - this year really can be about you,
‘Becoming Your Best ‘Me’ In 2023.
AND LISTEN – I gotta tell you, this week as I thought about all of the New Years that I have experienced, and all of the New Year’s conversation that I have shared as Pastor...
What hit me was... that time is quickly running out for me to become ‘The ME’ that God created me to be.
HEY – check this out, If you're an average American, using a clock as an illustration of how many years you have left in your life… It’s 12 am when you are born… (80 years divide by 3.33).
• 16 – 4:48 am 18 – 5:24 am 21 – 6:18 am
• 30 – 9 am 40 – 12 pm 50 – 3 pm
• 56 – 4:48 pm 60 – 6 pm 65 – 7:30 pm
• 70 – 9 pm 75 – 10:30 pm
(Me it is 6:55 pm) NOW – if you are over 80, well done!
OKAY - 2 quick points here;
1. Whatever it is that you are going to do with your life, you’d best get moving, because time is running out.
Like sands through the hourglass…
HEY CHECKOUT - how God describes your life and mine in His word…
Why, you don’t even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. - James 4:14
The psalmist writes about the brevity of life several times;
My days disappear like smoke… - Psalm 102:3
For we are like a breath of air; our days are like a passing shadow. - Psalm 144:3
AND Job said it like this;
My days are running out quicker than the thread of a fast moving needle…my life is just a breath… - Job 7:6,7
QUESTION – wouldn’t you agree with me, that life is unspeakably precious and unbelievably short?
I MEAN – the needle of our lives just keeps moving faster and faster.
AND LISTEN – the truth is, we don’t know when our time on this earth will be up... HOWEVER – what we do know is that our thread is quickly running out.
LIKE – it could be next week or next year or it could be decades away. Only God knows. Our lives are in His hands.
HE IS – Sovereign and is in control.
all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. – Psalms 139:16
NOW – King David totally understood this (time is running out thing) that’s why he wrote these words in Psalm 39.
Show me, O LORD, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life. – Psalm 39:4
YOU SEE – David knew that God was in control and that only He knew the number of his days.
AND – you know, as I try to read behind the request of David, I hear him saying,
Lord please continually show me and constantly remind me of how quick (how fleeting) my life really is – because I don’t want to waste it, focusing on things, that in the scope of forever, do not really matter.
THINGS LIKE…
• Being consumed by what other people think of us
• Or getting angry with someone and stewing over it for years and years
• Or just living in a state of constant anxiety about something.
• Or letting fear or doubt, or lust, or bitterness... control and limit us
• Or walking through life wearing the blinders of cynicism and negativity… so that we are unable to see the awesome wonder and beauty that God surrounds us with every single day.
AGAIN
#1 - Whatever it is that you are going to do with your life, you’d best get moving, because time is running out.
BUT HEY – if you are sitting in this room (or watching online) it ain’t over yet, there is still time.
#2 - If you're not doing something significant with your life (if you are not living for the One who created you), it really doesn't matter how much time you have left anyway.
QUESTION...
Would you like the year 2023 to be:
different/better than 2022?
If so would you stand up…
Now look 3 people in the eye
“this could be your best year ever!”
LIKE – who wouldn’t want 2023 to be better, even if 2022 was a great year...
I MEAN – better is always... better.
BUT MAYBE - for some of us, 2022 was not so good…
MAYBE - it was a year of challenges, a year of changes, of pain and of sorrow.
YES – the fact is, that for some, 2022 wasn’t so hot, it wasn’t your best year, it wasn’t what you hoped for…
BUT - the good news is this: A brand new year has begun!
AMEN?!
YOU SEE - God brings us life in bite sized pieces, in minutes and in hours and in days.
YOU KNOW – I think one of the reasons that God divided the days from the very beginning...
Was to teach us: that each day ends, and that as the sun pushes back the darkness a new day always dawns.
AND LISTEN - every year, God says, “Okay guys, it’s time to wipe the slate clean and start over with a brand new year.”
(hand motion, let’s wipe it clean)
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland… - Isaiah 43:18,19
AGAIN – today’s conversation is about, you...
‘Becoming Your Best ‘ME’ in 2023”
AND LISTEN… the first thing that you need to do in order to become your best me is to…
I. Clarify What You Want
One of my top ten books for Spiritual Growth was written by John Ortberg, ‘The Me I Want To Be, Becoming God’s best version of you.’
In the opening chapter Ortberg shares about a time when things were obviously not going so good in his life and in his marriage, and so his wife (Nancy) confronted him about it...
And he responded by saying, ‘I’m doing the best that I can.’
He writes;
“No you’re not” she responded immediately.
That was not the response I had anticipated. Everybody is supposed to nod their head sympathetically when you say, “I’m doing the best that I can.” But Nancy loves truth (and me) too much to do that. So she rang my bell.
No you’re not. You’ve talked about how it would be good to see a counselor, or an executive coach, or maybe a spiritual director. You’ve talked about building friendships, but I haven’t seen you take any steps toward any of that.
So no you’re not doing the best you can.
As soon as she said that I knew she was right.
But I didn’t say that to her immediately because my spiritual gift is pouting, which I exercised beautifully over the next few days. As I did, a question emerged in my mind,
“What is it that you really want?”
I began to realize that what I really wanted isn’t any particular outcome on any project. Those are all just means to an end. What I really want is to be fully alive inside.
What I really want is the inner freedom to live in love and joy.
I’m a grown man. I thought. I do not know how many years of life are before me. I cannot wait anymore.
When I was going to school, I was preoccupied with good grades and getting cute girls to like me. As the years went by, I became preoccupied with work and my circumstances because I thought they would make me feel alive. I can’t wait anymore to be that man. I thought.
I realized this then, and I know it now. I want that life more than I want anything else. Not because I think I’m supposed to, not because it says somewhere that you should. I just want it.
There is a ME I want to be.
Life is not about any particular achievement or experience.
The most important task of your life is not what you do, but who you become. There is a ME you want to be....
END QUOTE
MGCC – here’s the deal...
To become your best ME in 2023, you must decide what's important in your life and what isn't important.
NOW UNDERSTAND - God has given each of us an incredible gift, it’s called the freedom to choose. It’s part of being made in the image of God. IN FACT...
One of the most spiritual activities you will ever engage in is the power to choose…
YOU SEE BEFORE – you pray, worship, serve, celebrate, give, forgive, share, sin, turn away from God…
UNDERSTAND BEFORE – any of those actions come to pass, you have to choose.
BUT LISTEN – you can't choose what's important until you clarify what's important.
AND B/S – if we don’t clarify what we want in 2023
WE ARE - going to be pushed and tossed around by the pressures of life... doing this and that, going here and there…
AND THEN – before we know it, 2023 will be gone (just like 2022) and we'll be left feeling like we didn’t really get anything done, because we are still be stuck in the same old places.
A few years ago, George Gallup did a survey and discovered that the number one stress factor among people today…
• is not that we don't have enough time,
• it's not that we don't have enough money,
• and it's not that we have relational conflicts, but rather
The number one source of stress is "incongruent" values.”
IN - other words, we say we believe one thing, but we act in a very different way.
AND LISTEN - this gap between what we say is important in life and how we are actually living, causes stress.
For Example…
WE SAY - "Family is important to me."
BUT - do we put work and everything else ahead of it?
Do we give our marriage & family the time and attention they need?
WE SAY - "Health is important to me."
BUT – do we watch our weight? Eat right? Exercise? Practice good health habits?
WE SAY – “materialism is bad”
BUT – are we saving anything? Are we spending all we get?
Do we give generously or are we simply storing up our own treasures?
WE SAY - "God is first in my life,
BUT - do we take the time to know Him personally - do we consistently read our bibles and pray... spending time with Him seeking and studying to know Him better.
Do we spend any time praising Him and thanking Him.
WE SAY – “His church is important to me”
BUT - do we ‘really’ give the church (this church Maple Grove) the first fruits (the best) of...
• our time (do we attend regularly),
• talents (do we serve),
• energy and financial resources (do we give a tithe/offering)...
OR - do other things and other pursuits get our best.
YES - many of us (in fact most, if not all of us) have some incongruent values... AND MGCC – here’s the deal...
WHEN - you have incongruent values
WHEN - what you say is important to you, does not match how you live…
IT - causes problems... IT - creates stress...
IT – leads to: inner turmoil, discouragement and depression.
AND... AND – not only that, but you will find yourself at a destination you never intended to go.
REMEMBER…
Direction not intention, determines our destination
IN OTHER WORDS – we will always end up, where the road we are on is taking us, regardless of our intentions.
LIKE – if you leave here today, intending to go to NOVA, but you take a left at Proffit and Hwy 29…
You are not going to get to NOVA.
No matter how sincere and heartfelt your intentions were.
NOW – that seems so obvious when we are talking about driving our car... BUT – somehow we can’t see it when we are talking about living our lives.
Andy Stanley (The Principle Of The path)
My observation (and experience, for that matter) indicates that humans have a propensity for choosing paths that do not lead in the direction they want to go…
They’ve come to believe the popular notion that as long as their intentions are good, as long as their hearts are in the right place (whatever that means), as long as they do their best and try their hardest, it doesn’t really matter which path they take. They believe somehow they will end up in a good place… But life doesn’t work that way…
OKAY – here is what I am trying to say...
IF YOU - want to become your best ME in 2023 you need to clarify what you really want… you need to clarify what is of ultimate importance in your life…
GET IT?
OKAY – here is how it works….
FIRST – we need to define and clarify our values, what’s important to us
SECOND – we adjust the direction of our life such that it aligns with what our – values and intentions.
THE RESULT - your stress level will go dramatically down; and your peace of mind will go dramatically up…
AND... AND – you will actually arrive at the destination you intended to go, becoming your best ME in 2023
OKAY – so here is what I want to challenge all of us in this room to do...
AND LISTEN – doing this will not be easy.... because the evil one is terrified of you becoming who God made you to be.
AND SO – he will do everything he can to keep you...
from embracing the challenge to spend some time this week with this paper and a pen...
Asking God to help you clarify what is really important and aligning your life to those values.
What is important to me, what are my core values?
Maybe it’s: family, relationships,
Maybe it includes virtues like: faith, kindness, compassion, love, generosity, loyalty
What type of person do I want to be?
Not what do you want to achieve or accomplish but what kind of person do you want to be.
What adjectives would I like to define me?
What would I like people say in my eulogy?
You know the things that will be said about you at your funeral.
And one we all will have one
NOW THIS WEEK - I listened to a ‘TED Talk’ (by David Brooks) and read a few articles that posed the question…
Should you be living for your resume or for your eulogy?
QUESTION...
Have you noticed that when people die, their eulogies celebrate the person very differently from the way we define success in our everyday life?
I MEAN - it’s as though, at the end, we realize what really matters.
• They were a loving husband/wife/parent/friend
• They always went out of their way to help others
• They were kind, courageous, compassionate, honest, generous, wise, fun to be around
• They sacrificed a promotion to spend more time with family
• They consistently put the interests of others above their own interests
• They cared deeply about a particular cause and volunteered time
HOWEVER – if we are not careful much of our daily lives are spent in pursuit of resumé virtues – achievements, popularity, job titles, material possessions, impressive salaries and so on.
Resume virtues aren’t necessarily bad in themselves, but when we step back from the hustle and bustle, when we quiet our mind and soul, we feel a vague sense that something is missing… Resume virtues, by themselves, leave us feeling empty, fragmented, disconnected, and sometimes seriously physically compromised. We may achieve external success, but at the cost of a deeply meaningful life and the capacity to thrive.
Eulogy virtues, as David Brooks calls them, foster meaning in a fragmented world. These are the virtues that lead to a life well lived—kindness, compassion, love, humility, wisdom, courage, and integrity to name a few.
Resume virtues are good when they are pursued with wisdom—in the right way and for the right reasons. But they must be built on a foundation of eulogy virtues.
UNDERSTAND - no matter how much a person spends his or her life burning the candle at both ends, chasing a toxic definition of success and generally missing out on life, the eulogy is always about the other stuff: what they gave, how they connected, how much they meant to the lives of the real people around them, small kindnesses, lifelong passions and what made them laugh.
So the question is:
Why do we spend so much time on what we do not want our eulogy to be, things which are gone as soon as our heart stops beating.
Does the direction of my life (how I use my; time, efforts, energies, actions, money...etc) reflect that these are what is most important to me?
What in my life is TRIVIAL and what is ESSENTIAL, what should I hold onto and what should I let go of in my life?
So, will you take the time to fill out your values survey? Yes/no
Write it down. Pray about it…
Review it often during 2023...
Share it with someone
Then watch God unleash His supernatural power and finish the good work that He began in you, helping you become your best ‘ME’ in 2023.
SO...
Clarify what you want, next...
II. Don't Wait To Begin
Ecclesiastes 11:4 “If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done.”
UNDERSTAND - a turning point in your life and mine is when we come to the realization that life must be lived under imperfect circumstances. (Repeat)…
NOW - here is what usually happens…
WE HEAR - somebody say something like I’m saying today
(or we are actually the guy saying it)
AND WE - get a little motivated – (and we start thinking)
• I'm going to do that this year.
• I'm going to write down some goals,
• I'm going to make my life count,
• I'm going to use my time wisely,
• I’m going to take some time this week to plan for 2023… so that the way I live out my life will have an eternal impact.”
HOWEVER - those best intentions fade away rather quickly. Because for many of us the moment we walk out of here, we're going to get distracted by something “L.I.F.E”
YEAH – it seems like before we even can blink our eyes…
It’s March or April and we still haven't set any goals yet.
DO – you know what’s crazy?
MOST – people spend more time planning; vacations, road trip, events, dinners and parties…
THEN – they spend planning their life. That’s crazy!
BUT B/S - this morning we are going to want turn back the tide on this insanity…
AMEN?!
EVEN IF – we have failed at this countless times before.
John 10:10
Ephesians 2:10
Jeremiah 29:11
Clarify what you want,
Don't Wait To Begin, and next...
Set Some 252 Goals
AND LISTEN - if you're a Christian, your ultimate goal is to become like Jesus Christ.
For God knew His people in advance, and He chose them to become like His Son, so that His Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. – Romans 8:29
So how did Jesus develop and grow?
WELL – there is a verse in Luke chapter 2 that answers that for us...
Jesus grew in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and favor with man. – Luke 2:52
AND IF - we want to become like Christ, we must GROW in the four ways Jesus developed…
• He grew in wisdom – that's intellectual development.
• He grew in stature – that's physical development.
• He grew in favor with God – that's spiritual development.
• He grew in favor with man – that's relational development.
SO IF WE - want to be well rounded and balanced, then we need to set at least one goal in each of these four areas.
I would say no more than 3.
NOW – those top resolutions for 2023 that I shared earlier are really more of purpose statements than goals.
YOU SEE – a purpose statement is much broader.
It’s more vague.
It carries with it the idea of, “Well, I hope to accomplish this.
I want to get fit. I want to eat healthy. I want to reduce stress.” But it doesn’t really quantify what’s going to have to take place for that to happen.
But a goal…a goal is much more specific.
Perhaps in some seminar in the workplace maybe you learned about making or setting “smart goals.” You know what a smart goal is. It’s an acrostic there.
The “S” is for “specific.”
The “M” is for “measurable.”
The “A” is for…it’s “attainable.”
The “R” is that it is “relevant.”
And the “T” is that it’s “time-bound.”
And that’s what I want you to do. I’m gonna challenge you this week, to prayerfully come up with four different goals…
YES – this year can be different, if we grow like Jesus.
A) ‘Prayerfully’ Set A Few Intellectual Goals
Jesus grew in wisdom
Ask yourself, “What do I want to learn next year?”
God gave you your mind. It's a gift. It's like a muscle.
If you use a muscle, it gets stronger. If you ignore a muscle, it gets weaker. Same thing with your brain.
As a Christian, you must constantly be challenging yourself to grow and to develop. Ask yourself, “What do I need to learn this year?”
MAYBE - you set a book reading goal and say you're going to read a certain number of books this year.
MAYBE – if you are in school… it’s I am going to make the dean’s list or honor roll
MAYBE - it’s taking a class over at a college or online
Maybe – it’s learning a new skill or language.
MAYBE – it’s doing some studies or watching some conferences on right now media
B/L - we need to set some kind of intellectual goals that will challenge and stimulate us so that a year from today we're smarter... LIKE - we know some new stuff.
STUFF – that God can and will use for His glory and our good.
B) Physical goals
Jesus grew in stature
UNDERSTAND - we are a nation of extremes, and so we choose to camp out in either one end of the spectrum or the other—either worshipping the body or neglecting the body—and God wants us to be somewhere in the middle.
NOW - we’re all at different when it comes to setting a physical goal. BUT - this week prayerfully figure out how you can develop some physical goals.
AGAIN - a purpose statement might be: “I want to get in better shape.” But we’re not looking for a purpose statement.
We want to set goals..
SO MAYBE - a physical goal for you might be:
• “I want to walk ten thousand steps a day.” Or,
• “I want to work out for at least 20 minutes three days a week.”
• “I want to lose 20 pounds by April 1st.” Or,
• “I’m not gonna eat anything after eight o’clock at night.”
• Or maybe, “I’m only gonna drink sodas on Monday and on Friday.”
• Or, “I’m only going to eat desserts on the days that end in ‘y.’”
C) Spiritual goals.
Jesus grew in favor with God.
ASK YOURSELF - what will deepen your relationship with God? What one or two things would make the biggest difference in my relationship to God in 2023?
Not ten things – a couple of things.
MAYBE - your spiritual goal should be…
• Turn away from a sinful attitude or behavior
• To join a life group...
• I’m gonna be in church every Sunday
• Decrease your media diet... SM/conventional. Especially at the start of your day. LIKE – why let SM and the negativity in the tone for your day. Why invite the lion into the world when you start the day... and instead maybe play some praise music...
• Start tithing
• Start having a regular time alone with God. (FCFH)
• Memorize a certain number of Scriptures or a long passage
• Serving in the church
• Share your faith with someone, to really commit in 2023 to Pray For One (Lord, give me one person that I can share your love with today)
This year set something specific, write it down so that you can become your best me in 2023.
Fourth set some
D) Relational goals
Jesus grew in favor with man
THIS – is where you ask yourself….
How will I deepen my relationships with other people?
Understand - relationships have always been at the top of God’s list…So what can you do in 2023 to help others and to deepen some relationship…
• Set aside a specific time to be with individual members of your family
• Start meeting regularly with other believers who are on the same path as you are (you know, running buddies) and together sharpen and be transparent with each other
• Join a life group
• Find someone that you can mentor and pour your life into
• Ask someone who is a few steps ahead of you, if they would help you in your journey
• Help someone in need in the church
• Have people over to your home for a meal
• Make an effort to get to know a few neighbors or co-workers, church members
Just set some relational goal so that you can become your best me in 2023.
AND HEY - as you think of relational goals - if you have a broken relationship - maybe a good goal in 2023 will be to fix it… As God says; “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” – Rm 12:18
B/S – this year really can be different…
IF YOU…
• clarify want you really want
• don’t wait to begin
• set some 252 goals (intellectual, physical, spiritual, relational)
