Opening: A husband always carries a photo of his wife in his wallet. Whenever he faced a difficult situation, he opened his wallet and saw the picture of his wife. When his friends saw what he did, they said, "You love your wife so much, don't you?" He replied, "When I saw my wife's picture, I said to myself, "If I survive being married to this woman for twenty years, I can survive anything!" The husband used his situation to encourage himself.
Since two more days is February 14, I will talk about how we can be like 'Valentine this afternoon.
Did you know that seven in ten people in America celebrate Valentine's Day? According to the National Retail Federation (NRF), Americans spent more than $21 billion on Valentine's Day in 2021; the amount was 20% less than the $27.4 billion they spent in 2020. Giving something to someone we love on Valentine's Day is good. But as Christians, God wants us to do more than that. Let's go back to the history of Valentine's Day, learn from it, and learn what the Bible teaches about loving others.
Approximately 250 years after Jesus was born in Bethlehem, there was a priest named Valentine. He lived in Rome. At that time, Claudius II was the Emperor of Rome. Some people called him 'Claudius the Cruel.' Claudius wanted a big army. He thought men should volunteer to join, but many men wanted to stay home and go off to fight in wars. They did not want to leave their girlfriends and wives. So, only a few men volunteered for the Roman army. That made Emperor Claudius very angry. He had a crazy idea that if men were not married, they would be more inclined to join his army. So, Claudius decreed that there would be no more marriages. Young people thought his new law was ruthless. Valentine thought it was ridiculous! One of his favorite duties as a priest was to marry people. After Emperor Claudius passed his law, Valentine kept performing marriage ceremonies – but secretly. He would whisper the words of the ceremony while listening for soldiers on the steps outside. What can we learn from this story?
1. Stand up for the truth and share God's love.
Sometimes it is dangerous to stand up against injustice, hatred, and prejudice. Sometimes it is difficult to oppose the world's view of things. Sometimes it's difficult to proclaim the truth of God's love. But that is what Valentine did! And that is what we are called to do! Acts 5:27-29 says, "The apostles were brought in and made to appear before the Sanhedrin to be questioned by the high priest. "We gave you strict orders not to teach in this name," he said. "Yet you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching and are determined to make us guilty of this man's blood." Peter and the other apostles replied: "We must obey God rather than human beings!" In 1 Cor. 1:18, Paul says: "For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing." So, we can expect opposition from the unsaved! Our message is foolishness to them! It can be challenging to stand up for Jesus! It won't always be easy to tell of His love! But that doesn't give us an excuse for remaining silent! The Gospel is a message of love! God loves the sinners! Jesus loves them so much; He was willing to die for them! Let's get back to our story about Valentine! One night, he did hear footsteps at his door. The soldiers came. The couple he was marrying escaped, but he was caught. He was thrown in jail and told that his punishment was death. And that brings me to the next point of this sermon!
2. Die to self for the sake of others.
In John 15:13, Jesus says, "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends." Jesus says genuine love is seen in a person willing to lay down his life for his friends. According to tradition, all Jesus' disciples except John died horrible deaths rather than denying their Lord. They all went out under dangerous conditions to spread the Gospel and were willing to die because they loved the lost souls. When I give premarital counseling, sometimes I ask the couple if they would die for the other, and they say, "Yes!" They would die for the one they love. But in our daily lives, not many ever face a life-or-death situation. We may never get a chance to die for another person! However, every day we do get opportunities to die to ourselves. We are presented with many situations to sacrifice our wants/desires for someone we love/care for. Sadly, many marriages have been ruined because they were unwilling to die for themselves. Instead, they demanded their spouse to listen, understand, fulfill their needs, or 'sacrifice/die' for them.
Illustration: Someone wrote this: "Dear Abby: "Do all marriages go stale after 25 years? Ours has. My husband and I don't talk much anymore. We used to talk about our kids, but now they're grown and out of the house. I have no major complaints about my husband, but the old excitement is gone. We watch a lot of television. We read books. We have friends. But when we're alone, it isn't exciting. We even sleep in separate bedrooms now. Is there a way to recapture the old magic? Signed, The Song Has Ended."
To make our marriage strong and happy, we should love our spouse as Jesus loves us. Leighton Ford states, "It is said that marriage is a 50-50 proposition. Don't you believe it! A good marriage includes giving in and adjusting to each other. But at heart, marriage isn't a 50-50 deal; it's 100 percent both ways! How much did Christ love us? 50%? 75%? No! He gave Himself 100% for our salvation. So must we to our spouses!" Because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for our spouses and others. It doesn't have to be confined to dying for another person, but placing other people's needs above our own!
Galatians 2:20 says: "I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." Paul explains further in we cannot "walk in love" and be selfish at the same time! Someone said, "Often, in the first year of marriage, the man speaks, and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks, and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak, and the neighbors listen."
We should be willing to sacrifice what we want for what our loved one wants. Let's get back to our Valentine's story! Valentine tried to stay cheerful. Many young people came to the jail to visit him. They threw flowers and notes up to his window. They wanted him to know that they, too, believed in love. One of these young people was the daughter of the correctional officer. Her father allowed her to visit him in his cell. They often sat and talked for hours. She believed he did right by ignoring the Emperor and performing marriage ceremonies. Let's move on now to the next point of this message!
3. Believe in Jesus and love one another.
1 John 3:23 says, "And this is His commandment: that we should believe in the name of His Son Jesus Christ and love one another, as He gave us commandment." God wants us to believe in Jesus as the Son of God who came to save us through His death on the cross and to love one another! This "love" that the Bible talks about is the sacrificial "agape" love. Those desires are nothing but the best for others! God is love and the source of true love. Well, let's see how our Valentine's story ends!
On the day Valentine was to die, he left her a note thanking her for her friendship and loyalty. He signed it, "Love from your Valentine." That note started the custom of exchanging love notes on Valentine's Day. It was written on the day he died, February 14, 269 A.D. Now, every year on this day, people remember. But most importantly, they think about love and friendship. God wants us to love our spouses, parents, children, and others every day, not only on Valentine's Day. Illustration: One little girl said to her mother, "What do people say when they get married, Mother?" "They promise to love and be kind to each other." The child said naively, "You're not always married, are you, mother?" The daughter said that because she saw her mother didn't always love and be kind to her father.
When we hear the verse "love one another," we often forget that that verse is for the context of the family too. Sadly, we find some men known as loving and kind by their friends, but they mistreat their wives. I see a man who I thought was a kind, mature Christian (a worship leader at his church) and a very friendly person. But one day, in tears, his wife told me that he was a different person at home: he was so sensitive, dominant, controlling, and abusive. That saddened me!
To love one another also means to forgive each other. When we practice this, no matter how difficult our marriage is, God will help us to restore it. Illustration: In a survey of 65 couples married 50 years or more, Ralph Harris asked them to relate a fault of their spouse which aggravated them. 25% left it blank, and 22% said, "None." One wrote, "Love covers a multitude of sins." So, 48% had learned to overlook their spouse's faults. The key to a happy and strong marriage is forgiving and forgetting our spouse's mistakes or flaws.
As a closing, I want to share this true story to show how often we don't realize and appreciate our spouses' positive or good things because we only focus on their weaknesses. Suleyman Guresci of Izmir, Turkey, divorced his wife of 21 years after a bitter six-year court battle. To find the ideal woman, Guresci turned to a computer dating service. Ironically, from a list of 2,000 prospective brides, the computer selected his former wife as the best choice for him. He responded to this information by remarrying his wife just nine months after their divorce. He said, "I didn't know that my ex-wife had been the ideal counterpart for a marriage. I decided to give it another try by being more tolerant toward her."
As Jesus forgave us, let's learn to forgive others. As Jesus always loves us and has died for us, let's celebrate Valentine's Day every day by dying to ourselves, our egos, self-interest, and self-center mindset. Let's show God's love through our speech and deeds! May God help us love our spouse, parents, children, siblings, and friends more. Happy Valentine's Day!
