Ian Russell McEwan, an English novelist and screenwriter once remarked: “When it's gone, you'll know what a gift love was. You'll suffer like this. So go back and fight to keep it.” 1 Corinthians 13:1-5 reminds us: “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.”
Love is defined as an intense feeling of deep affection. It can take many forms and includes such attributes as tenderness, interest and concern for or from another, a close proclivity for life in general or perhaps special feelings for a specific animal regarded as a sole life companion.
God’s love remains ceaseless and unconditional, no matter how we may be feeling. He does not expect constant attention, incessant hugs or kisses, as some humans may count on, to show that we care about Him as He cares about us. Everybody experiences good and bad days which may significantly affect mood or temperament. Unkind words may be uttered in the heat of the moment which may result in a damaging or lasting effect. This, in turn, can create deep regret or contrition. God, Himself, is not absolved from harsh comments when things in life do not go our way. Verbal abuse or cynicism are not precluded just because He is of divine nature.
Life with another is never easy. One has to remain constantly mindful or appreciative of their inner feelings or emotions. Pain or hurt are too easily inflicted, but always difficult to retract or forget. Love is an extremely important factor in any person’s life. Without it we have little. It can provide hope, self-esteem, confidence and a host of other possibilities. Ephesians 4:29 reminds us: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”
A story is told of a man who sincerely believed that he had never experienced any form of love in his entire life. If he ever revealed this fact to another, as he often did, they would look at him in disbelief. Some would ask the question: “What about your childhood, did your parents never show love to you?” “Not really,” he would reply, “Yes, they clothed and fed me and brought me up, but they really did not have that much time for me. I was not planned and felt unwanted for much of the time. I don’t remember being constantly hugged or kissed. When I reached the age of maturity, they could not wait to get rid of me and encouraged the fact that it would be good for me to stand on my own two feet in life, and refrain from being dependent on them.”
On a particular day, when he was out shopping in a local town, he saw a girl sitting by herself in a coffee shop window. He decided that he was in need of a drink and entered the café. He purchased a cup of coffee at the counter and looked around for a vacant table.
The two looked and smiled at each other as he walked past her table. He found an empty adjacent table to hers and sat down. She was the prettiest girl that he had ever seen in life and he felt compelled not to lose this possibly once-in-a-lifetime opportunity of at least making himself known to her. He kept looking at her incessantly and from time to time she would glance at him in return. This gave him intense hope and encouragement. She appeared to be on her own and eventually he plucked up enough courage to speak to her. He began: “Excuse me, but do you come here often?”
She looked at him and smiled. She then replied: “I think that your remark is about the oldest cliché I have ever heard. Can you not think of anything more original to say?” It was obvious from her remark that she was an extremely confident and self-assured person who freely spoke her mind. The man’s face turned red in embarrassment. He retorted: “Sorry, but I am not used to speaking to pretty girls. It is the first thing that came into my head.” She smiled and responded: “That is clearly evident.”
The girl relented and suggested that he might like to give her some information about himself. He immediately gave a brief outline of his life to date and included the usual repertoire of not having experienced any form of love. While he was speaking and telling his tales of woe, she kept shaking her head in disbelief. Eventually, she responded: “I don’t think that you have any idea as to the true identity of the meaning of love. By what you say, you have obviously experienced love in your childhood, but not accepted it as such. If your parents had not loved you, then you would have experienced a totally different upbringing. You would not have been clothed or fed as your appearance clearly indicates otherwise, and you would have been a different person than you are. Did you try returning the love that your parents clearly gave to you? Love works both ways, you know. What is given also needs to be returned for mutual benefit.
Love creates love, it is not inequitably sided. You display unrequited love and obviously internally rejected the unreserved love given to you by your parents. This would have provoked much hurt and pain. Whether you were intended or not is irrelevant, more to the point, you were their offspring and a product of conception. By what you have told me, it is evident that you have falsely conjectured the loving intentions given to you, which displays not only a lack of understanding but also a selfish and demanding character.” Psalm 139:13-16 reminds us: “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”
In certain cases, unplanned pregnancies may be considered a special blessing from God and can sometimes derive more love in appreciation than those which were schemed. They can not only create an opportunity to bring new life, faith and hope into a world that can be both humbling and exciting at the same time. Moreover, not only is new life breathed, but a new unforgotten love is also created. 1 Corinthians 13:13 confirms: “So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love."
Amen.
