Would [the parents of the bride], and [the parents of the groom], please stand.
You have acknowledged that your children are a heritage from the Lord, and you have faithfully given of yourselves to bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Now, they have come to a time of mature Christian faith, and they are prepared to enter into responsible union as husband and wife. Do you now recognise the leadership of the Spirit of Christ in their lives, and do you now enter into their joy, giving your blessing to their marriage?
If so, would you please say, “We do.”
Happy and holy the hour when a man and a woman come together to seek the blessing of Almighty God on their union as husband and wife. Blessed and beautiful the day when that man and that woman share their commitment of love and faith with the people of God. And we are privileged to share in the public avowals of commitment and love shared by [the bride and groom].
[The groom and bride] will this day exchange vows, openly pledging and promising to share the future together, accepting whatever may lie ahead. They are convinced that they did not meet by change; they believe God directed them to be in the centre of His will, and it is His will that has helped them find one another.
As friends, as family, as well-wishers, it is a privilege to be here this day. However, our privilege also confers responsibility. You join in this celebration because you affirm this union, and you want to bless the new relationship formalised in these rites. You are saying, in a most tangible way, that you are willing to share yourselves in loving friendship, and that you will support them in time of need when they seek your help. Please be seated.
MEDITATIONS ON MARRIAGE
For an old man such as myself, this is a strange day in which we live. I am old enough that I can remember when everyone in our society stressed the permanence of the marriage union. Did married people never have a problem in those halcyon days that seem so long past? Of course, couples had conflicts and experienced tension. You can’t rub two hands together without generating heat. And two people moving in opposite directions can’t live together without generating heat. However, in the used-to-be time of which I am speaking, couples were encouraged to work through their differences. And they were assured that if they just hung in there, things would get better—and they did.
I recall a day, not that long past, when almost everyone living in our culture understood that stability in the home was necessary for a strong nation. That view of the stability of marriage flowed from a morality that was based upon an accepted faith that the teachings of the Word of God were valid and necessary for the endurance of the nation. Again, almost everyone understood that the nation was greater than themselves, and they weren’t willing to inflate their own importance at the expense of the nation.
But things have changed. It is a new day, and now the base desires of a distinct minority are callously imposed upon society. Our culture promotes a new morality that has no relation to that which marked us as a nation in earlier days. Now, the couple that holds to a view of marriage that reflects what is written in the Word of God are an exception. In this new cultural norm, the couple that refuses to give credence to the new morality, holding rather to their determination to honour the Risen Lord of Glory through their lives are the exception. Through their determination, they demonstrate courage and valour that once characterised Canada nationally.
Perhaps we should ask what the Bible does say concerning marriage. To make this determination, we will need to go back to the creation of our first parents. God has brought all things into being through His Word. The Lord GOD concluded creation week by creating the man Adam and the woman Eve. God gives a summary view of their creation saying. “‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.’”
“So, God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.
“And God blessed them. And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.’ And God said, ‘Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food” [GENESIS 1:26-30].
The man, untrammeled by the baggage of society rushing toward cataclysm, learned his uniqueness as God guided him to think through his situation. Quickly, the man realised his loneliness, opening the way for the Lord God to create one who was a complement to him, ensuring that his life would be complete.
Again, the Word instructs us in what took place at that time when it says, “The LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’ Now out of the ground the LORD God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said,
‘This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.’
Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed” [GENESIS 2:18-25].
That this is the understanding of the Faith of Christ the Lord becomes evident when Jesus responded to a challenge from some Pharisees. They had a question concerning divorce, to which Jesus answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” [MATTHEW 19:4-6].
The two shall be one flesh. Clearly, the Master spoke of the physical aspect of marriage. Adam recognised this when God brought the woman He had made to the man. In effect, God performed the first marriage ceremony. The purpose of the marriage ceremony in all cultures that are established is to recognise the commitment of the man and the woman. Whether in an elaborate ceremony, or whether in a simple declaration of commitment, the two declare their commitment before those who witness the testimony.
Today, we depreciate the open commitment in part because we train our youth that the physical union is all there is to marriage. And if that is all there is, then why worry about propriety and societal approval? Why not just begin living together? And the answer lies in the fact that man is more than just a fortuitous concurrence of atoms arising from some distant gemish of primordial molecules.
According to Scripture, and as is obvious from even a casual consideration of our existence, we know that we possess a body, but each of us is a living soul. And we have a spirit which must one day return to God Who gives it. Therefore, a marriage is the union not only of the bodies of the man and the woman, but it is a union of the soul. As time together extends, husband and wife grow ever closer in their interests and in their personalities. This accounts in part for why marriage requires that the couple work together. They are two independent people who are growing together. And just as they are growing together in their souls, the husband and the wife will also grow ever closer in spirit as they share in worship and in spending time in the presence of God Who gives them life. Together, they will learn from the Father what it means to be alive in Christ.
This becomes evident when the Apostle instructs us as followers of the Saviour, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Saviour. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendour, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. ‘Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” [EPHESIANS 5:22-33].
Therefore, for a marriage to be all that God intended, both wife and husband must recognise the essential role each plays and work to fulfil that God-given role. A wife is to respect her husband, exhibiting a submissive spirit. And a husband is to esteem his wife, surrendering his desires to ensure that her needs are fulfilled. Thus, God is glorified and our house becomes a home that honours the True and Living God. Amen.
And now, we invite [the bride and groom] to recite their vows in the presence of these assembled guests and before the Living God, Father of all who believe, and in the presence of the Risen Son of God, and in the power of the Spirit of Christ.
OUR VOWS
BRIDE:
[Groom], with joy and with deep devotion, I confess before God the Father and our Lord Jesus Christ, and in the love of the Holy Spirit, that I receive you as my husband. As the Church responds in love to Christ Jesus, so I will always respond to the love you have shown to me. I will always respect you as one who gives himself for my benefit, and I will ever willingly submit to your loving care for me. I pledge that I will always seek to maintain the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, as God intends that a wife should reveal. Together, I know that we shall make the home we shall build an outpost of Heaven itself. All who know us will know that our love finds its genesis in the love of God which we have received through faith in Christ Jesus our Lord. May God the Father be honoured through the life we shall share together. Amen.
GROOM:
[Bride], I know that since you came into my life, God has blessed me with one who is good. I receive you as an heir of the life Christ gives, knowing that we are stronger together because of the love Christ has given us. I promise to be the protector of you and of our home that God intends I should be. I will always honour you, seeking to bless you by considering your needs as of greater importance than my own desires. I promise that I will esteem you above all others in this life, seeking your welfare always. As Christ loves the Church, so I shall always love you, seeking to glorify Him through treating you with the respect you deserve as my wife, and as the wife whom God has blessed me to receive. I joyfully commit myself to care for you and to cherish you, declaring that nothing shall separate us except for death. May Christ be glorified in our life together. Amen.
