We read in Matthew 22:2, “The kingdom of heaven is like to a certain king, who made a marriage for his son..”(Webster)
Have you ever wondered why the kingdom of heaven is likened to the marriage of a king’s son? Often we consider marriage to be a normal part of our lives, but fail to realize that in God’s prospect, marriage holds a prominent place. First and foremost marriage is not man’s idea, but God’s initiative. God perceived that it was not good for man to be alone, and He created Eve as a suitable help meet for Adam.
Since marriage is God’s divine plan, Satan is all-out to destroy this beautiful design of God. More than ever before, we are living in a day and age, where marriages all around us are falling apart. As the enemy is fully aware that God’s great plans can be fulfilled through a godly marriage, his aim is to sabotage God’s purpose and plan for every marriage.
On the basis of God’s word, we will study to understand what marriage is, and what God really intended for it to be.
Marriage is not man’s idea, but God’s idea
We read in Genesis 2:18, “Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to live alone. I will make a suitable companion to help him." (GNB)
We read in Genesis 2:20, “So the man named all the birds and all the animals; but not one of them was a suitable companion to help him.” (GNB)
God in his wisdom knew that it was not good for man to be alone. When God created all of the birds and animals He brought them to Adam, so that Adam could name all of them. As Adam observed all the animals and birds in pairs, he must have felt a sense of aloneness, and the need for a companion. At the end of the naming of all the animals and birds, there was still not one which could be a suitable companion for Adam. The climax of God’s creation was Eve, making Adam and Eve the crowning glory of all God’s creation.
Some young people today for various reasons are opting to not get married, and choosing to live single. What they fail to understand is that marriage was God’s initiative, because He considered it not good for man and woman to be alone. However, a person should get married only when they come to a point of realizing that they do need a spouse, so that together they can live a victorious life in this world to fulfill God’s purpose for their lives. One should not enter marriage because of pressure from society, or as a formality that they are expected to perform.
Many consider their spouses to be a burden, and when any little misunderstanding crops up, they want to leave their spouse, and return to their parents. Often this causes a major rift between the spouses, who do not realize that God has given them their spouse, with whom He expects them to live in oneness and harmony.
The word of God in 1 Peter 3:7, refers to women as the weaker vessel, but isn’t it amazing that it was to women that God gave the ability and strength to conceive and bring forth children. Man would have found it impossible to have the patience or fortitude to bear a child, and that stamina God granted to woman, though she was the weaker vessel.
Men and women are quite different in their personalities, and it is important to accept this fact. In general men have more physical strength, and woman are strong emotionally, but we do realize that there are exceptions. As women are generally emotionally strong they have more of the ability to love, show affection and compassion.
Whom do we take our problems to in marriage?
When there is an issue or misunderstanding between the spouses, many couples make the grave mistake of taking the matter up to their in-laws or others which does not solve their problems in any way, but often makes it worse. Let me explain this with an illustration. If we purchased a new washing machine, and found that it was defective, would we take it to the local bakery and ask the baker to set it right? Sounds hilarious, but in order to get it fixed we have to take it to the manufacturer of the washing machine to get it in order. Many couples who encounter challenges in their marriages, are taking their matters to various people and messing up their relationships further, instead of going to God, who is the author and initiator of marriage. When someone approaches us for counsel in marriage, we should circumspect to not be instrumental in separating them, for God’s word cautions us that ‘what God has joined together, let no man separate’.
If we take our problems in our marriage to God who is the originator of marriage, He will intervene and set everything in order. Sometimes, when we go the Lord, He may convict the one who took the complaint to the Lord to handle issues differently, or may remind them that the problem lies with them, and not their spouse as they imagined. We should never compare our spouse with someone else’s spouse. The grass may look greener on the other side, but we must remember that everyone is human, and no one can truly know all that goes on within a family. If we sincerely seek the Lord in prayer, and beg His mediation, we will find solutions to all the challenges that we face as husband and wife.
The first marriage
We read in Genesis 2:22, “He formed a woman out of the rib and brought her to him.” (GNB)
God Himself initiated and conducted the first marriage ceremony. God caused Adam to go into deep slumber when he formed Eve from the rib in his side. It seems that if Adam was awake he might have tried to suggest to God the kind of companion that God should create for him. But, God in His sovereign wisdom knew exactly the kind of person that he should create to make Adam complete.
It is God who gave us our spouses, and it is good to reaffirm this often to each other that our spouse is the suitable companion whom God has gifted to us. Over a period of time our love for our spouse may diminish, and we could start taking them for granted. We should take time to thank each other or appreciate each other for all the little things that are done in the family. It is easy to find fault with one other, but we must take the extra effort to find the good, and be grateful when things are done well.
The first miracle that Lord Jesus did was at a Marriage at Cana
We read in John 2:11, “Jesus performed this first miracle in Cana in Galilee; there He revealed His glory, and his disciples believed in him.” (GNB)
The very first miracle that Jesus performed in Cana of Galilee was at a wedding. The reason for this was the fact that God sanctifies and honors marriage, and Jesus chose to be present at a wedding.
We too must learn to honor our marriage, and not take it for granted. God is observing the way we treat our spouse. He does not approve of anyone speaking maliciously against their husband or wife, instead we must be kind to one another, and be thankful to the Lord for the husband or wife whom He has given to us.
An Important Commandment for marriage
One of the Ten Commandments that God gave pertains specifically to marriage. We read in Exodus 20:14, "You shall not commit adultery.” (NIV)
We also read in Matthew 5:27-28, “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (NKJV)
The moral laws of God never change with time, and they are applicable to all generations. The law on adultery that was given in the Ten Commandments, was reiterated and explained in further detail by Jesus in Matthew 5:27-28. In the Old Testament God declared that the act of adultery was sin, in the New Testament Jesus interpreted the heart of this command by declaring that the lustful look itself in itself was equal to adultery. God therefore calls for us to grasp this high standard of morality and holiness.
The enemy knows exactly where to attack us, and his clever scheme is to defile our eyes. We don’t have to go looking for obscenity anymore, as it is right there in our homes and in our hands. There’s profanity all around us, in our newspapers, posters, television, cell phones and we are being bombarded on all sides, which is why we must seek God’s help to keep our eyes pure and holy.
When Pharaoh’s officials saw Sarah
In Genesis 12:15, “Some of the court officials saw her (Sarah) & told the king how beautiful she was; so she was taken to his palace.” (GNB)
Also in Genesis 12:17, “Pharaoh took Abram's wife, so the LORD caused Pharaoh and all the people in his house to have very bad diseases.” (ERV)
When Pharaoh’s officials saw Abraham’s wife Sarah, they noticed that she was beautiful and told Pharaoh, who at once summoned that Sarah be brought to his palace. The Lord took note of it immediately. Pharaoh and his house were all afflicted with very bad diseases because of Sarah, Abraham’s wife. It all began when the court officials cast that second glance at Sarah, and noticed that she was beautiful.
Here’s a word of advice to parents too. Many parents make the mistake of handing over their mobile phones to their young children, to keep them occupied with what they think is an innocent game, so that they won’t be a bother to them. When some obscene image props up on the phone, the innocent child’s mind is being corrupted with that indecency. There are other parents who hand over phones to children who are still in school, thereby exposing these children to all forms of obscenity. Most often those who are addicted to pornography, started off browsing various sites as a time pass, and with more exposure they get into bondage with viewing the profane.
The thing about the internet is that it is anonymous, accessible and affordable – not to mention that it is addictive as well, if not handled with care.
Mobile phones and social media have become an addiction to many, whereby people are unable to turn it off even at church. It is therefore, becoming more and more difficult to guard our eyes and keep it pure. Let’s be forewarned that it all begins with the eyes, and let us ask the Lord to give us the grace to watch our eyes, and keep them holy in His sight.
When David’s eyes wandered
We read in 2 Samuel 11:1, “The following spring, at the time of the year when kings usually go to war, David sent out Joab with his officers and the Israelite army; they defeated the Ammonites and besieged the city of Rabbah. But David himself stayed in Jerusalem.” (GNB)
There was only one black spot in David’s life, and it was in the matter pertaining to Uriah’s wife, Bath-Sheba. When it was a time for kings to be at war, David chose to stay back in Jerusalem instead of going along with his men to battle. God chose David from tending sheep to becoming the king of Israel, but David failed in the duty that God had entrusted to him. What happened as a result was that in the evening as David paced on the terrace of his palace, his eyes wandered and rested on a beautiful woman who was bathing. When David was not in the place where he was supposed to be, the consequence was that he got trapped with the lust of his eyes. When David fell into the sin of adultery, he also became a murderer and heaped sin upon sin as a result of it. David is referred to as a man after God’s own heart, but his eyes got him bewitched, and he fell prey to the sin of adultery.
Many husbands and wives try to avoid being at home, and find all sorts of excuses to stay out as long as possible, so they can get home when their spouse is asleep in order to avoid any kind of conflict. If we believe that our marriage is God’s design, and desire for it to flourish the way the Lord wants it to, we must do all that is required on our part. Once married, it is necessary to reduce the time we spend outside with our friends. If our feet are planted at home where they should be, we will avoid all the pitfalls of having an unhappy marriage.
We may think that controlling our eyes, and what we see is a simple matter, but many young people are addicted to the profanity that is freely being shared through the internet. There are many married people who are also caught in this trap. Let us learn to give priority to God and His word and decide that we will guard our eyes to keep them holy before the Lord. Adultery may loom before us like a large sin, but it begins with the lust of the eyes, and takes us down to the very depths, breaking our relationship with our family, with society and with God Himself.
As husbands and wives, each of us has a duty to perform in marriage. May we not fail to fulfil the responsibilities that God has entrusted to us in our marriages. When we faithfully do our part, our marriages will prosper, and we will have strong families as God intended it to be. Our family must be kept safe under God’s protection, and we must give no room for Satan to enter, to destroy God’s beautiful design for the family.
What is the relationship between husband and wife compared to?
We read in Ephesians 5:31-32, “That's why a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will be one. This is a great mystery. (I'm talking about Christ's relationship to the church.)” (GW)
God’s mandate for marriage is that a man will leave his father and mother to be united with his wife, so that they will become one flesh. If they are one flesh, there is no place for abuse of any kind, for when a spouse hurts the other, they are hurting themselves, and no one would want to harm themselves in any way. Confusion and misunderstandings happen only because many have not understood marriage as God meant it to be. That is also why when there is an issue between husband and wife, it is unwise for either spouse to walk out and go away to their parent’s home, as this is contradictory to God’s command that both should be united and live together as one. Husbands and wives have personality differences, but we are expected to understand and adjust to those differences in order to make our marriages work.
The relationship between husband and wife is compared to the relationship between Christ and the church, which is referred to as a divine mystery. If a husband cannot love his wife as Christ has commanded, and take care of his family as he should, and if the wife does not respect her husband as the Lord commands, then there is no point in them being part of the church, which is the bride of Christ. Let us learn to look at our spouse as the suitable partner whom God has given to us. May we never compare our spouse with someone else, but be thankful to the Lord for them. Young people are reminded that marriage is God’s idea and when we leave that choice to Him, He will do the best. Like Adam we need to wait, and the Lord will bring the right person at the right time. Marriage is precious in God’s eyes, and we must decide to be the kind of husbands and wives that God desires for us to be. If we do so, our marriages will be filled with joy, and our families will be a great blessing to everyone around us.
Rev. F. Andrew Dixon
www.goodnewsfriends.net
Transcribed by: Sis. Esther Collins
