Man, is it not easy to get lost in the world view of Christmas, the presents, traditions, the hustle and bustle. The busy malls, the bony music, and Mariah Carey music fill everywhere. I wonder if you can relate to this video because I believe that sometimes, even for us, we miss what Christmas is about. We got so used to the Christmas story. , the manger, the angels, Mary's vivistiation of the angel. The virgin birth, how she and Joseph walked to find a place to stay.
But we sometimes need to catch the story's finer details, and the birth of Jesus is way more intricate than what we are used to. And this is what we are looking at in the series, on how the Grinch stole certain aspects of our lives. Last week, Ryan spoke about persecution, and I was so happy to hear that I am not the only one who, when at a braai, can't make it awkward so quickly. You know Jesus turned water into wine? Well, we can do the opposite, turning beer into Coke Zero.
We all have family in some way, shape, and form, but the thing is, we do not get to choose them; yes, you choose your husband or wife, but you do not get to choose your siblings, mom or dad, the uncle we do not speak about, the cousins. But we all have them. You see, I think that has been happening over the last few years is that the devil has come for men with masculinity issues; we see it with women(what is a woman) and men in women's sports, but the devil is after something God created the most and is trying to destroy it while we are looking the other way.
There is a story in the bible where a family did not even have a chance of being a family because of strife. Now strife means angry or bitter disagreement over fundamental issues; conflict.
You see, right at the beginning of the Christmas story, we see this: Luke 1:26-30 (HCSB) In the sixth month, the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a town in Galilee called Nazareth, 27 to a virgin engaged to a man named Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin's name was Mary. 28 And the angel came to her and said, "Rejoice, favoured woman! The Lord is with you." 29 But she was deeply troubled by this statement, wondering what kind of greeting this could be. 30 Then the angel told her: Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God.
So Gabriel tells her hey, you going to have a son, and a child will be born. And Mary asks this question: Luke 1:34-35 (HCSB) Mary asked the angel, "How can this be since I have not been intimate with a man?" 35 The angel replied: "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore, the holy One to be born will be called the Son of God.
So for us, this is like, yes, it makes sense, easy peasy lemon squeezy, but I want you to understand what is happening here. The Holy Spirit was not present like He is now. He was there only in instances, so for a human like Mary to first see an angel is a big thing, and now she will be pregnant, and no man will have touched her. Come on, what would you say if your friend or child said? Guess what, guys? I am pregnant by the Holy Spirit, not by my future husband. What would your reaction be? How would you respond?
Now, you need to understand the cultural perspective of what was happening this year and the implications of what could have happened. Jewish society was deeply rooted in Mosaic Law, which had clear stipulations regarding marital fidelity and sexual conduct. An engagement or betrothal was a binding agreement, and any sexual relations outside of this were considered a breach of this covenant.
The Cultural and Social implications were this.
In Jewish culture, betrothal (kiddushin) was almost as legally binding as marriage. It was a formal and public declaration of intent to marry. Breaking a wedding required a formal divorce process and carried significant stigma, especially for the woman.
Mary's pregnancy during the betrothal period would have been perceived as a grave violation of social and religious norms. It could be seen as an act of infidelity, bringing shame not only to Mary and Joseph but also to their families. The potential accusation of adultery was serious. Adultery was condemned in Jewish law and could lead to severe social ostracization.
This would already be created from the start. What the angel was asking here from Mary was already a massive undertaking for her. But I love Mary's response.
Luke 1:38 (HCSB) "I am the Lord's slave," said Mary. "May it be done to me according to your word." Then the angel left her.
You might think Joseph accepted her, and they worked things out. Still, there is a passage that we read so fast over that we read to our kids when we read the Christmas story, but it has real significance to this story, and we find it in Matthew:
Matthew 1:18-19 (HCSB) The birth of Jesus Christ came about this way: After His mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, it was discovered before they came together that she was pregnant by the Holy Spirit. 19 So her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her publicly, decided to divorce her secretly.
Man, again, talked about strife; here Joseph was like, no, I am out; I am tapping out, and wanted to divorce her. They are not even married yet, and now he wants to divorce. Can you imagine what would have been going through their minds? I can only think Joseph's heart and mind were going insane, and you need to understand that this is important: Joseph, the righteous man.
Joseph, described as righteous, was likely deeply troubled by the situation. His initial decision to divorce Mary quietly (as mentioned in Matthew 1:19) was significant. Joseph was trying to avoid public disgrace for Mary by choosing a quiet divorce. A public divorce would have exposed her to severe social and possibly legal repercussions.
Talk about family Strife. It came to the point where God intervened. We read this:
Matthew 1:20-25 (HCSB) But after he had considered these things, an angel of the Lord suddenly appeared to him in a dream, saying, "Joseph, son of David, don't be afraid to take Mary as your wife, because what has been conceived in her is by the Holy Spirit. 21 She will give birth to a son, and you are to name Him Jesus because He will save His people from their sins." 22 Now all this took place to fulfil what was spoken by the Lord through the prophet: 23 See, the virgin will become pregnant and give birth to a son, and they will name Him Immanuel, which is translated as "God is with us." 24 When Joseph got up from sleeping, he did as the Lord's angel had commanded him. He married her 25 but did not know her intimately until she gave birth to a son. And he named Him Jesus.
Here, in an instant, as he woke up, he made his decision; he did not doubt, he did not question. He went out, and he married her. And he did not even consummate the marriage after they got married. Remember Joseph's characterization as a 'righteous man' in the Gospel of Matthew indicates his adherence to Jewish law and customs. But twice, he needed to follow the custom. He chose God. I want you to see this today. I want you to understand this today. Mary trusted God and did not conform to the culture. She did not try to hide; she did not try to lie; she went to Joseph and spoke the truth. I want you to see how Joseph, a righteous man, went against religion and customs twice by not divorcing her and marrying her, and also not consummating the marriage.
So, how does this play out in our lives? How does this story be so relevant to us in our lives? Where do we see family strife? Well, I have seen during the years in a few ways :
The most significant way I saw it was with me and my side of the family. You see, because of issues, problems, and miscommunication, my sister and I never met for over 12 years for Christmas, or we went to different times so that we did not bump into my parents. I saw in my own life that I never reached out because of my offence with them and that I know or think I knew I had every right to be upset with them. I mean, our kids, both of ours, are in the same school and grade, and they did not know each other until I told my kids this is your cousin.
I was so poisoned by the devil and my pride and my righteousness that they were wrong, and I was right. I used the idea that they knew where to find me if they wanted to say sorry. We even stopped saying happy birthday to each other.
The amount of strife I have seen as a pastor over the years has been insane. I have seen it.
Disagreement Over Inheritance:
Disputes over inheritance or family property can lead to significant strife within a family. This situation often brings underlying tensions to the surface, causing rifts and long-standing disagreements between family members.
Parents Opposing a Child's Marital Choice: A child in the family chooses a partner the parents disapprove of, possibly due to different cultural backgrounds, financial status, or lifestyle choices. This can lead to family conflict, with the child caught between loyalty to their partner and their family.
Sibling Rivalry Leading to Family Discord: Intense rivalry or jealousy between siblings, possibly fueled by perceived favouritism from parents or competition for attention and resources, can cause significant strife within a family. This situation can lead to lasting bitterness and division among family members.
Financial Strain and Stress on Family Relationships: Economic hardships or financial disagreements within a family can cause significant stress and conflict. Debt, unemployment, or differing spending habits can strain relationships and lead to enduring strife.
So, what can we take away from this? What can we learn from Joseph and Mary's story?
"Talk It Out, Understand Each Other":
James 1:19 – "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and become angry."
Wait, can I get honest with you guys. Can I step on some toes today? I am frustrated and grieved that families wait too long to resolve things, and you might say, like I did, I am right. I am not going to be begging for a sorry. I am done, and I am out. You know when you will get together when a loved one dies.
I was saddened this year when I sat with families and heard we should have met more. We should have done this more, but it is too late. For me, The main reason why me and my mom sorted our things out is because my dad passed away, and I had to jump in and help. Going to Ermelo in the same car and talking. My sister and I are doing Christmas together mainly because of my reaching out but because of her reaching out to us. But this also happened only after my dad passed.
I want to ask, guys glory, we have a family this year that is not having Christmas because they lost a loved one and regretted not sorting things out." Don't Wait Till Death Brings You Together, Unite Now Because Jesus Is The Reason We Need To Get Together!"
Encourage every family member to express their thoughts and feelings. Active listening and trying to understand different perspectives can prevent misunderstandings and strengthen family bonds. You need to know that you can be right and win the fight but lose the relationship, or you can swallow your pride and have a relationship.
Practice empathy in your family.
Philippians 2:4 – "Each of you should look not only to your own interests but also to the interests of others."
Verse encourages us to consider others' needs and feelings as much as our own. We live in a selfish generation; everything is about me, myself and I. Let us be honest: we live in a world where we care more about the present than God's presence. We forget that the reason we celebrate his birth is because God loved us so much that he sent His son as the ultimate gift. And with that gift, we must show empathy. It's about putting aside selfish thoughts and focusing on what others might be going through. In a family setting, this means caring for each other's well-being and understanding that everyone has unique thoughts, feelings, and experiences. So it is to call that family member that wronged you and say hey, let's meet up, let's get together. Instead, it means to put our differences aside and come together to celebrate Jesus and what He did for humanity. In this season, can you look at the other person's journey instead of the faults? Can you look at how Jesus would look at him? That brings me to my next point.
Support each other in difficult times.
Bible Verse: Joshua 24:15 – "But for me and my household, we will serve the Lord. This verse is about commitment to your family's values and beliefs, regardless of external influences. It's a declaration of unity and dedication. In modern terms, it means standing by each other and upholding the values necessary to your family, despite what others may think or say. As families, we need to be different to the world's idea of family. We should not be so quickly influenceable. As a family, we need to create values and beliefs and stick to them. We should embrace those who are not yet believers and love them; we should bring up our children to understand Christmas's real reason is because of what we believe. We must raise a generation that will love their neighbour and Honour God. We need to be more like Joseph and trust in God's plan for our family, no matter how outrageous it sounds. This brings me to my last point.
Keep the Faith and Hang Tight
Romans 12:12 – "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."
Can we pray more, read the bible more as a family, and do more bible study as a family. Can we look at the hope Mary and Joseph had for Jesus? Can we be patient like Joseph was with Mary? It suggests that joy can be found in hope, patience is critical in difficult situations, and faithfulness in spiritual life provides strength. This can mean finding comfort and unity in shared faith and hope for families, especially when facing trials and challenges. Can we embrace our families and make sure nobody is left behind.
"As we reflect on the story of Mary and Joseph, we see a timeless example of love, understanding, empathy, and faith. Their journey teaches us invaluable lessons on handling family strife. They remind us to communicate openly, empathize with each other, prioritize our family unity, and find strength in our shared beliefs and values. Each family faces unique challenges, but the essence of overcoming these struggles lies in the principles that Mary and Joseph exemplified.
Remember, the true strength of a family doesn't come from being perfect or without conflict. It comes from how we handle these challenges, support each other, and stay united in the face of adversity. As we move forward and face our family challenges, let's keep these lessons in our hearts and strive to embody the spirit of understanding, compassion, and unity."
Closing Bible Verse: Colossians 3:14 – "And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
Wrapping Up:
Let this verse be a reminder to us all. Love is the bond that holds a family together through thick and thin. It is the force that overcomes strife, heals wounds and builds bridges. As we go forth, let us wear love like a garment, visible in our actions and words, binding our family together in perfect unity.
May our homes be places of love, understanding, and peace, just as Mary and Joseph showed us through their enduring faith and love for each other. Amen."
