Betrothed to God
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Today, we’re continuing this journey we started at the first of the year as we begin the transformation that God has called us to. Last week we looked at who we are in Christ, and that is, children of God. This week we’ll be looking at being the Bride of Christ, and the betrothal process which is key to God’s transformative work in our lives and in the church.
Weddings are celebrated in almost every culture around the world. They normally follow a period of engagement where lifelong plans of love and family are made. And then the day arrives, and the two become one.
This is a reflection of Christ and his church. We are told in Ephesians 5:31-32 that it is for this reason that a person will leave their parents and be united to their spouse, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery, Paul said, as he was speaking about Christ and His church
When we realize what the Father and Son did for us through the ancient Hebrew betrothal process, then this whole transformational/change we’ve been talking about gets a little bit easier and will make sense, because we’ll see how much Jesus loves us, and how much He and the Father gave up for us.
In Hosea 2:19-20, the Lord says, “I will betroth you to Me forever; Yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and justice, in lovingkindness and mercy; I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness, and you shall know the Lord.” (Hosea 2:19-20 NKJV)
Hosea said this to his brethren, the Jewish people, but earlier in verse two He brings charges of harlotry and adultery against Israel saying that she is no longer the Lord’s, that is, God’s wife, and He no longer was her husband.
But in His mercy, God would bring them back, and in the valley of trouble and the valley of weeping would now be a door of hope, and a well of living water, where the Jews will once again call God the Father their husband, as they turn away from their adultery and harlotry to other gods. And then comes our verse that He will betroth Himself once again, thus making them His wife and He, their husband.
Now, why is this significant? Because from this relationship would come the Messiah, Jesus, where He, as the bridegroom, would take for Himself a bride, the church, which is now made up of both Jew and Gentile, that is, you and me.
This is how much God loves us and cares for us, that He has betrothed us to His Son, who paid the bridal price with His own blood so that we who are His church, who believe in Him, would now live with Him forever. (Now, we’ll talk more about the bridal price as we go along.)
I hope this whets your appetite and curiosity for this whole betrothal ceremony that reveals just how much He does love us, and then how through this betrothal process a great transformation can and will take place.
Now, what I have described is a Biblical picture of our relationship to and with Jesus Christ, and one that every Jew would know and understand, and hopefully by the end of our time together we can know and understand it as well.
In fact, this is such a beautiful image of our relationship with God that the enemy, Satan, seeks to strike at its very heart and turn it into something that becomes a mockery and distorts the picture God has given us to understand our relationship with Him.
And to show how serious God takes this betrothal process, consider what the Apostle Paul said.
“For I am jealous for you with godly jealousy. For I have betrothed you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 11:2 NKJV)
Now, the actual term “bride of Christ” does not appear in the Bible. However, the teaching is certainly there. And Paul explained this relationship in Ephesians 5:32, explaining how a marriage looks, but then said, “This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.”
Paul also said in Romans 7:4, “Therefore, my brethren, you also have become dead to the law through the body of Christ, that you may be married to another, to Him who was raised from the dead, that we should bear fruit to God.” (Romans 7:4 NKJV)
Therefore, the church is not a wedded bride but a betrothed bride.
The Proposal
It all begins with the proposal, which begins the covenant of marriage, which is something that lasted for well over a year. Today in our culture we would call it the engagement period, that starts off with the engagement ring. But from then to now, it has changed quite a bit.
It begins with the bridegroom’s father. He’s the one who took control of initiating his son’s marriage. We see this in part in the Abrahamic model, where because he was old and couldn’t travel, Abraham sent his trusted servant in his place to find a wife for His Son Isaac. When the servant got to the land of Ur, he had with him a great many gifts like gold, silver, and jewelry as the bride’s dowry (Gen. 24). He then selected Rebekah as Isaac’s bride.
The Jewish marriage proposal was entered into when both the man and woman were offered and accepted a cup of wine, from which they both drank. (We’ll get more into this in a moment under the “The Betrothal Ceremony.”)
The spiritual contract we have with Jesus took place in the same way, when we, as His bride to be, turned to Him by faith and trusted in the blood He shed upon the cross for the payment of our sins, betrothing us to Him forever, where we eagerly wait for His return. (This we’ll look at further in our section on how the bridegroom fetches His bride.)
Now, we see a picture of this and participate in this exact event every time we partake of communion, where Jesus takes the cup and passes it to us saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood, which is shed for you.” (Luke 22:20 NKJV)
When we accept and partake of the cup of wine representing His blood, we accept our heavenly Father’s payment for our sins. Now, the gift of His Son’s death on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins is the greatest gift and purchase price that anyone could possibly hope for or expect. But the other part of the dowry are the crowns that await our arrival in heaven. These are the Victor’s Crown (1 Corinthians 9:25-27), the Crown of Rejoicing (1 Thessalonians 2:19), the Crown of Righteousness (2 Timothy 4:8), the Crown of Life (James 1:12, Revelation 2:10), and the Crown of Glory (1 Peter 5:4).
Now, catch the love that God has for us, and the fact that Jesus doesn’t pledge His life on the condition that we reciprocate. Rather quite the opposite, instead it was totally unconditional, that is, He offered Himself for us whether we accept His sacrifice or not. In Romans 5:8, is says, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice up front, in hopes that this will win the heart of his potential bride that is, you and me and that we will then reciprocate by saying yes. Christ’s sacrifice is then God’s invitation for us to join Him at The Marriage Supper of the Lamb.
The Betrothal Price
The father of a young man would secure a bride for him. Today we’d call it an arranged marriage, but the choice to marry still needed to be consented to by the couple before it could move forward.
The negotiation between the fathers of both the groom and the bride was not simply a request for permission, but it involved a purchase price.
The groom’s father offered a “mohar” (Mo’-hare), which means “bride price.” This was to secure the consent of the girl’s father to hand over his daughter to the this father’s son. And the groom’s father was expected to offer a substantial bridal price.
In the story of Jacob marrying Rachel and Leah, the “mohar” was a quite substantial. Although Abraham never entered the arrangement, the price for Laban’s daughters were 7 years of free labor by Jacob for each.
Now, let’s see the price that God the Father paid for His Son’s betrothed bride, that is, the church, or better yet, you and me, and that was the death of His Son.
Jesus said, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16 NKJV)
The Betrothal Gift
The betrothal price wasn’t the only thing of value that was given, there was also the betrothal gift given by the groom to his bride.
It was customary for the groom to express his sincerity to his newly betrothed bride by giving her a precious gift. This gift was the bride’s assurance and guarantee that while her groom was away, he would indeed return for her.
Jesus has done the same thing for us and has given to us the greatest and most precious gift we could ever receive. You see, Jesus confirmed His promise and sealed the betrothal with the gift of the Holy Spirit.
He told the disciples, “I tell you the truth. It is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I depart, I will send Him to you.” (John 16:7 NKJV)
And Jesus identified the Helper, or Comforter as He is called in other versions, as the Holy Spirit, or the Spirit of truth (John 14:16-17).
Jesus confirmed the betrothal contract sealing it with the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is Jesus’s seal of our inheritance. We are sealed by the Holy Spirit until the day of our redemption (Ephesians 4:30) when Jesus returns for His Bride.
Jesus knows that on our own we cannot prepare ourselves for His return, so he places within us the Holy Spirit to empower us and teach us how to live in His ways.
Again, He said to the disciples, “However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come.” (John 16:13 NKJV)
The Betrothal Ceremony
When the fathers had come to agreement, and the groom and the bride would give their approval, and the betrothal price was paid, and the betrothal gift was given that the official betrothal ceremony would begin.
When the couple entered this covenant, they are effectively considered to be married, even though cohabitation and sexual consummation are delayed. That takes place later when the bridegroom would later fetch his bride and take her back to his father’s house where the marriage would be consummated.
But in this betrothal ceremony, sometimes a meal was shared by the bride and the groom, but the official sealing of the covenant would be the sharing of the cup of wine where the Rabbi would pronounce them betrothed.
If you haven’t seen the similarities for us as believers, Jesus betrothed Himself to us in what we call the “Last Supper,” or “Communion,” which happen during the Passover meal. This is where Jesus broke the bread and said, “Take eat, this is My body broken for you,” and then He picked up the third cup of the Passover known as “The Cup of Redemption,” and He said, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood.”
Now, the blessing Jesus used over the cup is the same blessing the Rabbi would use over the cup in the betrothal ceremony. “Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech Ha-Olam, boreh p’ri ha-gafen.” OR “Blessed are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe, Creator of the fruit of the vine.”
In short, the partaking of the cup signified acceptance of the covenant, so it became the defining symbol of the marriage covenant relationship.
The man and woman were now regarded as husband and wife. From that moment on, the bride was declared to be holy and consecrated or sanctified, which means “set apart” exclusively for her bridegroom. (Again, we’ll look at this in greater detail in how the bride prepares for the wedding.)
The Betrothal Period
This is the time span where both the bridegroom and the bride would prepare for the wedding. The man would return to his father’s house, and the woman would stay with her father. It was during this time that they would separately perform their required duties, while at the same time get to know each other to an even greater degree.
The idea was that during this time the couple would begin to learn about each other, understand each other and learn to love each other and fall in love where their desire and passion would be for each other, and where both couldn’t wait until that day of the bridegroom’s return.
The picture or image that Scripture gives to us is that while on earth, we are in the betrothal period. Jesus alludes to this in John 14:2-3, saying “In My Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also.”
Isn’t this the picture we get of our time of waiting here upon the earth? We accepted Jesus as our Savior and Lord and are betrothed to Him. We live our remaining days in the betrothal period with Jesus, learning to love Him, spending as much time alone with Him as we can, and just waiting with great anticipation for His return.
So how does this time period look.
a. The Bridegroom
The title “bridegroom” was given to the one who covenanted with the bride to marry her at a later date. Therefore, we must see Jesus in this light, and that is the bridegroom having as a bride you and me (the church) who is now betrothed to Him.
The main purpose of this time of separation was to give the groom time to prepare a dwelling place for his bride and future family to live in. This was typically a construction project where he would build some sort of addition onto his father’s house where he would bring his bride to consummate the marriage. And then, he may even build a separate house where he and his new wife would live.
Jesus alluded to this in what He told the disciples, which I read earlier.
“Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also.” (John 14:1–3 NKJV)
It was during this time of construction that the finish product would be completely in the father’s control where he would say when it was finished and then allow his son to go get His bride. When the father determined the work was completed, and the time was right, and he would send his son to where his bride waited for him. The prospective groom would get his betrothed bride and bring her to the dwelling he prepared for her.
And so, during this time, our bridegroom, Jesus, is preparing that special place for each one of us. But now comes the bride’s responsibility during this time.
b. The Bride
During this time, the bride-to-be would sew her wedding garment, which for us today, would be considered clothing ourselves in the righteousness of Christ. Other preparations were also made for the marriage, including having her friends with her who would accompany her to the wedding feast. And finally she would regularly undertake a ritual cleansing in the mikveh.
This cleansing process is what we need to be doing daily, as we confess and repent of our sins. This is seen in the Bible’s message for us where we are told, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9 NKJV) And then in what Jesus says, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” (Matthew 4:17 NKJV)
And while waiting, the bride would have her friends with her, which Jesus alludes to in His parable of the “Ten Virgins.” Five of which were ready, having their lamps filled with the oil of the Holy Spirit, and five who were called foolish who weren’t ready because they did not having enough oil and were left outside the door knocking to get in (Matthew 25:1-13).
Now, this should make us all sit up and take notice asking the question, “Are we ready?” Remember what Paul said to the church in Corinth, “For I have betrothed you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 11:2b NKJV) And what this says is that these ten virgins in the parable represents the church, and what we are then told by Jesus is that basically half of those who call themselves Christians and a part of the church will be left behind because they are not ready.
Let us therefore remember our duty as the bride of Christ. As we wait for our groom to return, let us continue to gather, serving with the gifts and talents we’ve been given at the same time of keeping ourselves pure, as we prepare ourselves for the life promised as Jesus’s bride. And then, taking that time to get to know and love Him even more.
Fetching the Bride
The father of the groom would determine when the dwelling place was ready for the groom to go back to get his bride and carry her home to complete the marriage.
It was common for the groom to arrive without forewarning at night, so the bride had to be in a constant state of preparedness.
Now, as we saw, the bride was to always to be ready and faithful waiting for the bridegroom’s return. And in keeping with the parable of the Ten Virgins, if we are faithful and ready, there is no fear of missing His return.
The bridegroom entourage was comprised of friends shouting and blowing trumpets, and if at night, carrying torches. As they got closer, messengers ran ahead of the procession to inform the bride of her bridegroom’s soon arrival.
After the groom received his bride, together with her entourage, the wedding party would now return to the father’s house, where the wedding guests were assembled, and the wedding feast would take place.
The ritual of taking the bride into the groom’s home derives from a word meaning “elevation” or “carry.” Today this is the custom of carrying the bride over the threshold. Back in those days, this referred to the traditional practice of the bride being carried back to the groom’s house on an elevated platform.
Now, we see all of this within the Scripture concerning the second coming of Jesus Christ, which He Himself alluded to saying, “I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also.” (John 14:3 NKJV)
When that time will be, no one knows but God the Father. Concerning that day, Jesus said, “But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, but My Father only. But as the days of Noah were, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be.” (Matthew 24:36-37 NKJV)
Although we as Jesus’s bride do not know when He will come for us, He did not leave us without clues. To His disciples who asked, “When will these things be?” Jesus gives many signs which afterwards he said, “So you also, when you see all these things, know that it is near, at the doors!” (Matthew 24:33 NKJV)
And so, Jesus will return, the day and hour we may not know, but what we know is the general time it will take place.
Now, Paul describes Jesus coming to fetch His bride.
“For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord.” (1 Thessalonians 4:16-17 NKJV)
Hopefully your heart is pumping knowing that the time is short, and as you spend more time with Jesus this coming year, you’ll fall more in love with Him, and getting yourself ready for His soon coming.
Let me end this section this with the words of Revelation 19:6-7.
“And I heard, as it were, the voice of a great multitude, as the sound of many waters and as the sound of mighty thunderings, saying, "Alleluia! For the Lord God Omnipotent reigns! Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has made herself ready.” (Revelation 19:6-7)
Conclusion
After the bride is carried over the threshold, they enter the room that the groom had constructed and consummate the marriage, then they come out to the marriage feast.
And John then goes on to tells what Jesus told Him to write. Jesus said, “Write: ‘Blessed are those who are called to the marriage supper of the Lamb!” (Revelation 2:9a NKJV)
Personally, I can’t wait, and I want to continue to change, to continue to trust in Jesus, and continue to allow the Holy Spirit to lead me, so I can be ready for His return.
Now, please understand that this whole process depends on our accepting Jesus as our Savior and Lord, and our love for Him, a love freely given without conditions or constraints. Jesus wants a bride who voluntarily pledges her life to Him in response to His loving sacrifice He made for her.
And so, we belong to our heavenly bridegroom the moment we say “Yes” to His proposal by pledging and surrendering our lives completely over to Him. For you see, not only do we accept Him as being our Savior, but also our Lord Jesus said, “If you love Me, keep My commandments.”
Therefore, in this year of change, this year of transformation where our desire is to get to know Jesus even better than before, we need to change into those men and women of God He has called us to be by getting and keeping ourselves in that constant state of readiness.
And then we need understand is thatt we are no longer who we were, but we have become new creations where we are now His children, that is, children of the Most High God. And that we are also the bride of Christ, awaiting His return where He is coming for us so that we can live with Him forever.
