In seeking God in prayer, we need to know this...God always answers our prayers. Just because we don't see the answer outwardly given or given in a timely manner does not mean He has not answered us. Know that God does answer our prayers, and He does so with three different answers: yes, no, and not right now.
When God answers yes, we are over the moon with joy and happiness. When He answers, not right now, we’re happy but filled with anticipation of when it will happen. But what about the times when God says no? In this case we are left with doubt, fear, and/or concern if God really cares and loves us, and that will bring our minds to this: I know God sometimes says no when we ask for something in our prayers. But if He really loved us, wouldn’t He always answer our prayers with a, yes?
[Title] I asked God, and He said no.
So, today we are going to examine the reasons why God would say no, and what you can do when He does. And I’m here to assure you that God does love us when He says no, and precisely because He loves us, He sometimes says “No” to what we request in our prayers.
As a father I understand this concept of love and having to say no to a request from my children. I have to say no so that they do not get or do something that could harm them. Sometimes I have to say no because they want something they don’t need, but just must have. Sometimes I say no to general principles, so they learn that in the real world they will hear no from others in leadership.
In a much greater way, God loves us and knows what is best for us — far more than we do. And because He wants to keep us from harm, He sometimes says “No.” As I look back over my life, I know God sometimes said “No” to things I asked Him to do, and to be honest, I often was disappointed. But later I realized God knew what He was doing, and by saying “No” He had kept me from harm.
By pride comes nothing but strife, But with the well-advised is wisdom.
Proverbs 13:10
I asked God to take away my pride, and He said, “No”. He said it was not for Him to take away, but for me to give up.
If God took away our pride, then what have we learned? He could take it away, but would it not come back again? This is like the thief that does not get caught, they continue to steal. Pride, as well as stealing, is something we need to learn not to do. God does not take it away because we need to learn to master pride. In the parallel clause ‘pride’ parallels ‘wisdom’. This gives us the idea that pride, which is an abomination to God according to Proverbs 6:17, is the case where a person refuses to listen to good counsel...they rather contend with it. So, right there we have a problem, a chicken and egg situation, which came first? You see, a prideful person will never come to God and ask it to be taken away. You see the issue here; how could God say no to a prayer that was never asked. Well, I can think of two ways: one, someone who cares about the prideful person has been praying for them, to them God said yes. Two, God has a plan for the prideful individual and will allow circumstances to stripe the prideful person of their pride, thus seeking God to help them with their pride, which by virtue of praying for it is already gone. Man, this is like time travel.
Know this, God is in control of all things…there is no karma, there is no coincidence, there is just God’s plan. You see, in the first case, the person praying for the prideful induvial was moved by God to pray for that issue, which caused God to create the circumstance that caused the prideful to rethink their arrogance. For a prideful person to rethink their position in life it takes something major to happen, something being face-planted in the dirt to realize our mistake. This is where the prideful person reaches the bottom of the barrel and realizes that the way to look is up.
And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me.
And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:7-10
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole, and He said, “No”. He said her spirit is whole, her body is only temporary.
Let me say a few words about the chosen Scripture for this…Paul is speaking here about how God was using his affliction to keep Paul from being prideful about how Jesus was using him. But it does have application in the case where pride is not the main point, as given here in this story.
Joni Eareckson Tada suffered a diving accident as a teenager, and for the past five decades she has lived as a quadriplegic. In her booklet Hope . . . the Best of Things, Joni imagines meeting Jesus in heaven and speaking to Him about her wheelchair: “The weaker I was in that thing [my wheelchair], the harder I leaned on you. And the harder I leaned on you, the stronger I discovered you to be. It never would have happened had you not given me the bruising of the blessing of that wheelchair” (Crossway Books, Wheaton, Illinois, 2008).
How can she speak of her “bruising” as a “blessing”? Why were her, her family’s, and her friends’ prayers met with a no from God? It lays in the grace of God, that grace that we sometimes just cannot wrap our minds around. With that sentiment, Joni echoes the apostle Paul who accepted Christ’s sufficient grace for his thorn in the flesh with these words:
I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Although it may be hard for us to imagine God keeping a person handicapped, but the reason that God allows some to be disabled or handicapped is that, in His all-encompassing plan, He has chosen the weak things of this world for a special purpose.
When a person is disabled or handicapped, to whatever degree, it is a symptom of original sin, when evil came into the world. Sin entered the world because of man’s disobedience to God, and that sin brought with it sickness, imperfection, and disease. The world was blemished. One reason God allows people to be disabled or handicapped is that such conditions are the natural result of mankind’s rebellion against God. We live in a world of cause and effect, and it is a fallen world. Jesus said that “in this world you will have trouble”. This is not to say that every disability is the direct result of personal sin, and Jesus countered that idea in John 9:1–3 when they encountered a man blind from birth, but, generally speaking, the existence of handicaps and disabilities can be traced back to the existence of sin.
God doesn’t need human might or skill or fitness to accomplish His work. He can use disability and handicap just as well. He can use children. He can use animals. He can use anyone. Remembering this truth can help handicapped believers, and the ones who love them to maintain focus on who God is. It’s easy to “curl up in a ball” and have pity parties when life makes no sense, but Christ’s power is made perfect in weakness.
But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty;
and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence.
1 Corinthians 1:27–29
I know a handicapped individual, that believe it or not says that I am the one who is handicapped. He says that today where women are refusing to let men open doors for them, these vey same men go out of their way to open doors for him…he says I’m handicapped because I must open it myself. He says that I’m handicapped because I must walk farther in the parking lot to get to the store, while he has a spot with his name on it. He says I am handicapped because I must wait in lines, while he is granted direct access to the front of the line. He is quite happy in life, and in looking at his happiness I am directed to God to also say thank you for my life.
Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,
looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:1-2
I asked God to grant me patience, and He said, “No”. He said that patience is a by-product of tribulation, it isn’t granted, it’s earned.
Although most people consider patience to be a passive waiting or gentle tolerance, most of the Greek words translated “patience” in the New Testament are active, robust words. In our Scripture we see the word "endurance", which in other translations is rendered as "patience," which is what the Greek word for patience means, endurance. How many of you have run a race patiently waiting for slower runners or gently tolerating cheaters? None of have! We ran that race with all we had, sometimes through the pain. A Christian runs the race of life patiently by persevering or enduring through difficulties. In the Bible, patience is persevering towards a goal, enduring trials, or expectantly waiting for a promise to be fulfilled. God does not time-skip you through life, but he helps you at intervals in life, but you must be willing to endure things to make it to that point where He has help for you. In speaking about a race and intervals of help, look at a marathon or a bike race, there are points along the route where there is water and nutrient bars available. If you do not continue in the race, you will not get to that point where help is available for you.
When I met Christ, I was forty-nine years old and had been married to my husband for seventeen years. We had two children and a quiet suburban life. We had built a comfortable life. But I knew that if I fully followed Christ, everything in my life would change. I might lose it all — my marriage, my friends, and my family.
I weighed devotion for Christ against devotion to my kids and family. I asked whether a broken marriage with Christ was better than a marriage without Christ. But gradually, as Christ’s words became my words, his love filled me and poured out of me, even to my husband, who now called me his enemy. I found that I could love my husband with a resolve I had never experienced.
In the eighteen months that followed my full commitment to Christ, Christ has been shaping our marriage in a new way. My husband has changed dramatically from the man he was two years ago. From fighting my church attendance, he now encourages me to go. My children are going to youth groups, and both worship with me weekly. When I asked my husband if he would help my daughter and me to go on a mission trip to Mexico, he said, “We will make it happen.”
I have learned many lessons in these past months, but none so much as loving and trusting my Lord.
Patience does not develop overnight. God’s power and goodness are crucial to the development of patience. Colossians 1:11 tells us that we are strengthened by Him to “great endurance and patience,” while James 1:3-4 encourages us to know that trials are His way of perfecting our patience. Our patience is further developed and strengthened by resting in God’s perfect will and timing, even in the face of evil men who “succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes” (Psalm 37:7). Our patience is rewarded in the end “because the Lord’s coming is near” (James 5:7-8). “The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him” (Lamentations 3:25).
“These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full. This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you."
John 15:11-12
I asked God to give me happiness, and God said no. Happiness is not something I want to give to you; I want to give you joy.
One of the obvious differences between happiness and joy is that happiness tends to be achieved externally and has a short life span, while joy is something achieved internally and lives on forever. For example, we can feel happy when we receive something like a gift or achieve something like awards or honors. These things are external or belong to the surface of our lives. Once we place them on our shelves, the memory of it starts to fade, only to surface again when someone asks about it, and then like a breeze it is gone again. Happiness is not something that lives deep within us but, rather, something superficial.
Joy, on the other hand, is something deeper. It is something we feel internally in our lives as human beings. For example, when we feel great joy when we worship God the Father and when we feel great joy when we remember our Lord Jesus Christ dying on the cross to save us from sins. Joy is something to do with our inner nature rather than the outer nature of our human character. And the Scripture we just read tells us that Jesus wants our joy to be full and complete.
Another major difference between happiness and joy is that happiness is merely bliss while joy is something selfless. When you experience something blissful, it means it is transient or something that can end in an instance. Happiness, therefore, is something that can end once it is felt. It does not sustain. For example, when you feel very happy because someone you like finally said that they like you back. This kind of feeling is fleeting and therefore it’s just happiness.
On the other hand, joy is something more selfless, which means that you have joy when it is not for mere personal gain. When you feel emotional thinking about how Jesus Christ took your place on the cross to save you, and that is joy, and that same joy wells up each time you think of His sacrifice for you. It's the emotion you feel when someone you know finally receives Christ, then that is joy. You see, happiness is just for you, while extends to everyone around you...and that is why Jesus says that you should love one another...in loving others we eliminate hate within ourselves, and we start to experience the joy of not having ill thoughts about our fellow man...the loss of hate is pure joy. God says no to giving you temporary happiness, because that you will get on your own from the things you do, but He wants to give you something that lasts, He wants to change your heart and mind to seek Jesus, and in so doing you get joy.
There are many other situations where God may tell you no, but don’t lose heart and don’t fall into despair, because God dose not tell you no because He has all the power, nor does He tell you no out of spite. The truth is He tells you know because He wants to help you: help you grow, help you find peace, help you to find joy, and He wants us to put in the effort because He knows that we feel our best when we accomplish something. God wants to help us have a better life, and that process starts with Him telling us no from time to time.
I asked God to save me, and He said yes! He told me that I sent my Son to die in your place for the sins you committed. He said that it was a gift to me for the asking.
