AIN’T NOBODY GONNA STEAL MY JOY
By: C. Mason Davis
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The plaque was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The seven-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside him, and said quietly, “Good morning, Alex.” Good morning, Pastor,” replied the young man, still focused on the plaque. “Pastor McGhee, what is this?” Alex asked. “Well, son, it’s a memorial to all the men and women who have died in the service.” Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque. Little Alex’s voice was barely audible when he finally managed to ask, “Which service, the 9:00 or 10:30 service?”
TODAY’S SCRIPTURE
James 1: 2-3; “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.”
Have you ever had a time in your life when you were happy, even if not all in your life was good or favorable? Right now, as you sit there listening to me, think about those times when you felt like everything was going to be okay no matter what you were going through. Think about times where you were happy and nothing bad or negative seemed to be going on in your life. It felt like a great life when you have no worries or stresses in your life that keep you from being happy, positive, and motivated to spread your happiness.
Ask yourself these questions and put some deep thought into the responses to these questions. What makes you happy? What makes you unhappy? Who makes you happy? Who makes you unhappy? What causes you to worry and gives you stress? Who are the people in your life that seem to steal your joy? Are you keeping a positive attitude even when there is negativity all around you? One of the most important questions to ask yourself is, “What would Jesus do?” Are you living the life, walking the walk, and talking the talk in your life that would make Jesus proud? If not, what can you do to change? What can you do to be better, to think better, and feel better? Remember that life will give us lemons and it’s up to us, not other’s, to make lemonade out of those lemons. Something always tries to pull you down. Traffic, pain, robocalls, bills, tv, news, and somebody can bother you to the point that you lose yourself. We just need to choose to live in the way the Lord has made for us. We need to draw that line in the sand and tell ourselves not to allow anyone to steal our joy.
Today is a day that the Lord has made. Don't let anything that is happening in your life steal your joy. The more you thank God for what He has already done, the more God will change your life. The Holy Bible says in Nehemiah 8:10: " Then he said unto them, go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our LORD: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the LORD is your strength." The Bible says that God gives us joy and peace. It’s there for everyone, but everyone has to make the decision to put to use this joy and peace. This is a gift from God and costs you nothing. Don’t put it in your pocket and pull it out only when it’s convenient. Don’t keep this gift on a shelf like you would a picture or a vase. Keep this gift in your heart, your mind, and your soul so you keep your joy at all times, no matter what or who tries to steal that joy from you. One of the most dynamic ways to keep our joy is to allow the Holy Spirit to lead us in the way we should go. Proverbs 16:9 says: “A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps..” One of the hardest things in the world for people is to walk away from something they’ve done for a long time. If we do the same thing the same way too long, it becomes old and stale, and it means nothing. However, the Holy Spirit will lead us to change something on purpose to make us pay attention to Him. Don’t keep doing things the same way if you’re no longer joyful when you do them. You will lose your joy if you’re not willing to expand your horizons.
I wonder if you’re doing like I did by letting insignificant things such as your grouchy boss, the person talking behind your back, a child getting on your nerves, steal your joy. Life is going to throw you curves. There will be disappointments and things that aren’t fair. Make this decision every morning, “I will be joyful today." When you’re tempted to get upset, remind yourself that you have the power to remain calm. Keep your joy. This day is a gift. Honor God by living it with a grateful heart and to the fullest.
Do not allow negative people to steal your joy. In life, you will meet a lot of people. Not that you just meet positive people, but more often, you are going to come across negative people as well. It is important to understand that you should not allow anyone to take control of your life. Too often, we start living our lives, just as others want us to live like! You need to understand that it is none other than you who should be having control of your life. You are going to decide what makes you happy, and what makes you sad. No one else is reliable to do it for you, and you ought to remember that. You must have the potential to understand that you should not allow negative people to steal your joy. You cannot stop them for what they do, but it is you who is going to decide about whether they are allowed to make entry into your life or not. Whenever you happen along these kinds of people, make sure that you are refraining yourself from being swayed by their ways and their mindsets. Never allow negative people to steal your joy. You might find it difficult to counter such people in your life, but you have no other choice but to do so.
Know that it is you who is going to decide things for yourself, and thus, you must be doing it at your own pace of life. You must never allow such negative people to interfere in your life. Be very clear in your perspective, and make sure that you are not allowing any of those kinds of people to stay in your life. These people will never do good to you, but they are always going to affect your productivity taking you down a wrong path. Why allow such people to do so? It is essential to realize that you are the decider of your own home, of your own life, and it is none other than you who is going to decide your areas of joy, and strength. It is your happiness that allows you to stay strong, so make sure that you are able to hold on to it. You should never allow someone else to steal your sanity, your happiness, your zest for life, or your joy. When your happiness is your strength, it is the thing that keeps you going! Your happiness will attract detractors who want nothing more to make happy people feel as bad as they do. When you trouble your heart and mind with negativity, you are left with no direction in your life and that is going to affect you in the long run.
Negative people love to spread hate. They love to make you agree with their hate, believe in their hate, and jump on the bandwagon with them. They want you to be just as hateful and negative as they are. They are a sad bunch of people. Non-believers. Not believing that there is any good in this world or in their lives. A label has been put on them and today they’re now called, “Haters.” Haters hate to be alone. Haters disguise themselves in many ways. They’ll convince you they have your best interests at heart, or society’s best interests. But they barely ever care about either of these things, if ever. Most Haters will try to steal your joy because they have none. They desperately wish they had the joy you have. In many cases, they wish they were living the exact same life as you. Some Haters are good people who are hurt. Now that you know this, perhaps you can find it in yourself to forgive their unsupportive ways and continue your joyful and happy life. Don’t fight your haters’ hate with anger. This fuels toxic people. Respond with love instead. Thank them for their concerns. Empathize with their anger. Give them compliments. Then, continue living your best life. This will completely disarm them. It’s the best way to show them that they can’t steal your joy. If you have online haters, block them. Sometimes, it’s better not to engage at all, especially on the internet. Remember, there’s no rule saying you must deal with toxic internet trolls, or even to continue reading their hateful anger-fueled words and posts. If you’re living a good life, dealing with haters is inevitable. This is out of your control. Happy and joyful people are like magnets to haters. Haters constantly seek out happy and joyful people so they can fill you with the bile that is their agenda. They will especially criticize you and never stop. It’s their way. It’s who they’ve become. Haters feel that you’re not allowed to be happy and joyful because they aren’t. “There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing,” but that’s not living your best life. Don’t allow negative people to steal your joy. When you lose your joy, you lose your strength.
Do any of you remember singing this song when you were kids, for your kids, or with your grandkids?
I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy;
down in my heart;
down in my heart;
down in my heart;
I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy;
down in my heart;
down in my heart to stay.
How long has it been since you’ve thought about that song? Heard that song? Sang that song? Would thinking about that song, whenever you feel less joy or happiness, help you to get some of your joy and happiness back? Maybe when you’re feeling low you can sing this song as a reminder to not lose your joy? Think about that. Zephaniah 3:17, “The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.”
For those of you who believe that you can’t feel joy in life unless you have a love interest, have your kids with you, have a dog, a best friend, money, a better job, a better car, etcetera, you’re wrong. Joy is not just a feeling, but a state of mind also. It’s a state of mind that can also fill your heart. You can find joy in yourself with the help of others. I have to admit that my life is never joyful without a dog, especially an Irish Setter. When I lose one, I’ll move heaven and earth to find another. Not as a replacement, but because I’ve come to be so dependent on their unconditional love. Don’t rely on anyone else for your happiness. This is obviously easier said than done. The truth is, all you need is to keep Jesus in your heart and trust in him completely, that all will go well in your life. That you’ll be able to handle any situation and won’t let anything negative take over, taking the joy out of your life. We feel that we have to have a lot of friends to validate who and what we are to make us happy. If we don’t have enough “in person” friends, we turn to social media on the internet. We are social creatures. Being socially excluded is painful. Approval and validation feel good and can feed your ego, make you feel good about yourself, make you feel important, and that how you feel and what you believe in matters. Haters can use these tactics to suck you into their world then start indoctrinating you into their hate, their beliefs, and their dark world. Still, we must all avoid an over-reliance on other people’s validation for our happiness. What makes you feel like you have value and worth? We are designed to want validation, the feeling of significance. The problem is that we try to get validation from what we think we can control or mange. We avoid mystery and things we can’t control. The problem is we keep God at arms-length and try to appease Him with church attendance and trying to be nice. God’s love and acceptance is the key to value and significance. The journey of believing brings freedom and renewed energy. How does God validate you? Have any of you ever asked yourself that question? Perhaps making a list of His validations of you that you realize and know of can bring you more joy. Perhaps that will make you more appreciative towards feeling, living and sharing your joy.
This is validation. God really does love you and is crazy about you. In Psalms 17:8, “Keep me as the apple of the eye, hide me under the shadow of thy wings,” You really are the apple of His eye. We seek validation from people, work, friends, accomplishments or our spouse. They become the barometer of our feelings and worth. The treadmill of acceptance can wear us out. Always trying to please people or control situations. The solution is that we kill our heart or hyper control our world. We stop believing that we have value or significance in the world. This will kill your heart, Proverbs 4:23, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” The wellspring of life. Or we control the people in our world by killing them with kindness or managing everything by ourselves. This will flat wear you out. Don’t be the student studying accounting just because it would make his parents proud. Don’t be the wife who needs her husband to tell her she’s beautiful every day. Build your self-esteem, so you don’t need anyone to tell you how awesome you are. Romans 8:31, “What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?” Find a passion or hobby that makes you so happy that you’d dedicate your life to it, even if everyone thought it’s wrong for you. Romans 12:6, “Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, whether prophecy, let us prophesy according to the proportion of faith.” He has given you unique gifts, talents, and strengths, whether you know it or not, or whether you believe it or not.
You also need to realize that most people don’t care what you do, or who you are. Let’s assume you’re broadcasting the best parts of your life on social media (as most people do these days). Even if you lead a super-exciting and unique life, I doubt that 95%+ of people who see your posts won’t care for more than a few seconds, if at all. You would think that you could post comments about anything and those who don’t like your thought or belief that they’d just keep scrolling. This is not normally the case. Social media is full of bullies and abusive people who will not agree with you then all of a sudden, it’ll become their life’s mission to bring you down. Even if you were to delete the post or take it back, you are already on their radar. This means you cannot live your life free from the fear of ‘what other people will think’. They will do anything to steal your joy, your freedoms, and your voice, just because they think they can. Perhaps they’ve already stolen the joy from other’s and having done that feeds their appetite for more. It becomes more of a game of competition to them to keep stealing joy from others. Social media tends to facilitate the comparison trap. I’d urge you to do a quick audit of the accounts you follow. How do they actually make you feel? Do they inspire you or are they creating an uncomfortable feeling of inadequacy you feel about yourself. Are these accounts giving you joy or stealing it? How much is enough for you? When will you start pulling the weeds out your garden of joy so you can begin to enjoy it again? Perhaps an unfollow spree is in order, both in person and online?
Another trap to avoid is comparing yourself to others, both in person and online. People can also steal your joy if you compare yourself to them. Why? How? If you’re comparing yourself to someone, you must be doing so for one of two reasons. Either you feel your above that other if a person or you feel that this person is better than you, has better than you, or has more than you, it will be easy for you to fall into this trap. The fact is, that God created us in him image as equals. Galatians 3:28 says: “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.” So, avoid the comparison game altogether. Yes, the thought of overtaking someone can inspire people to improve faster, but even if you do bypass your rival, there will always be someone else above you ready to make you feel small again. You’ll never be the richest, the strongest or the most-followed as social media influencer. So be yourself and not what other’s think you should be. The comparison game is a comparison trap that you can’t escape. So, move past it. Don’t play at all. Compare yourself to your past self and no-one else. Only then, will you be in complete control of your happiness and joy. John 15:11, says: “These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.”
We all have had issues with family and friends. I’m sure that there has been a time in your life when you’ve had to assess your family and friends. A lot of times it is people who are closest to us who get in our ways of joy and happiness. Some people are stealing your joy in subtle ways. They may not be doing it on purpose, but it’s up to you to address it. Because they are so close to you, you may not have set any boundaries in your relationships with them. Setting boundaries with really close family or friends will be very hard, but if they are responsible for robbing you of your joy and happiness, something has to give. Either you give up your joy and happiness, or they give up whatever it is that breaks your boundaries. Perhaps they won’t understand or agree with what you’re telling them. You’ll have to make some very hard decisions. This is going to be hard, but necessary. Necessary for your mental well-being. Necessary for your sanity. Necessary for your happiness, and necessary for your faith. If you explain your reasons from your heart, the outcome will hopefully be easier to come by than you may fear. If you need boundaries of any type for a family member or a really close friend, they should know why so they can respect your wishes. Make your personal boundaries and stick to them. If you don’t, then no one will take you seriously about them from then on. If you focus on living the life that makes you happy, no-one is going to steal your joy. If someone is stealing your joy or doing anything that breaks your personal boundaries, tell them to stop. If they ignore these warnings, you may have to remove them from your life, if even just for a little while. Yes, some people are more difficult to remove from your life than others. Are these people a net positive or a net negative in your life? Sometimes, the answer isn’t immediately obvious. Teach them to pray. John 16:24, “Hitherto have ye asked nothing in my name: ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full..” Some people aren’t receiving from God what He wants them to have because they won’t ask boldly of Him. Hebrews 4:16 tells us to “Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.” Many Christians feel like they need to clean themselves up before coming to God in prayer. However, our righteousness is in Christ alone, and no amount of good works will make us right with God. If we are in Christ, God sees us as righteous right now. Be bold and confident in God when you pray. Just ask for what you need, boldly and in faith, without wavering. Help them become closer to God by accepting Jesus into their life and heart. John 15:7, “If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.” Show your trespassers of your boundaries that there is a better life out there and you’re living it because you have given your heart and soul to Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Teach them that there is a better life out there and they too, can live it when they turn their life and love over to Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Perhaps then the fence your boundaries have built can be torn down by both of you together. The Scripture of Habakkuk 3:17–18 says: “Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labor of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls: Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation.” When you stay full of joy despite what’s come against you, God says that salvation is coming, breakthroughs are coming, healing is coming, success is coming, but only if you believe. Even in the worst of times, in our efforts to keep up with the Jones’s we buy the things we think we need to be happy. It’s easy to get caught up in the rat race and spend all our time working. Yet, time is our most valuable resource, not money. Working too hard is one of the biggest regrets of the dying. None of them say they wish they had worked harder. So, when I say, “don’t let anyone steal your joy”, I’m including your boss. I’m also including whoever is convincing you that you need a flashier car or a bigger television. Many people would lead more joyful lives if they had less liabilities and more time doing what they loved. I’m sure that you have heard the saying, “Don’t let anyone steal your joy?” Our joy is precious and must be protected from others stealing it. When people are mean to us or talk bad about us, it hurts our feelings and ruins our day. However, with the right mindset, you’ll be able to brush them off and keep your joy. Your happiness and joy depend on you, and no one else’s words matter. It’s their problem, not yours. You can still enjoy your day and choose joy over everything else no matter what. As hard as it can seem sometimes, your emotions are in your control.
Don’t you hate it when you lose something important? Folks are always losing things like their keys, money, homework, glasses, umbrella, or the most annoying, yet most important things we lose…the TV remote control and your cell phone! Then there are other less tangible things that people lose – their cool; their temper; their patience; their memory; their blessings, their reputation, happiness, joy, and most importantly, God. All I can say about this is that you can’t let anything stop your belief in God. You may be lost, may feel lost at times, but never lose faith. With faith comes Amazing Grace. I once lost, but now I’m found, was blind, but now I see. But how do you keep the faith when all seems lost? Try keeping a gratitude list. A daily gratitude list helps you retain your joy, regardless of who is trying to steal it. At the end of each day, write down at least 10 things you are grateful for. If this sounds like a lot, it’s supposed to be. A long list will inspire you to focus more energy on the smaller positive things in your life. The first flowers of spring, the surprisingly mild autumn weather, or the relaxing hot bath after a winter hike. Just as there is always someone better off than you, there are usually millions who have it worse. So, why not take some time to appreciate the small luxuries you do have. This exercise really will help to make you feel happy as you end your day. Being mindful in keeping yourself at peace with happiness and joy is the ability to be fully present in what you’re doing. This skill helps us notice the beauty of the world around us, rather than being trapped by thoughts at all times. Meditation and prayer are useful practices that help to increase mindfulness, spirituality, joy, and happiness. They can also improve your mental health in general. In fact, many who frequent these practices help themselves to feel joy without any external stimulus.
None of this is possible without having faith. Faith is the unwavering belief that everything is going to turn out perfectly. Billions of people tie their faith to a God who is looking out for them at all times. Many more believe that the universe has its best interests at heart. Faith allows you to trust that everything happens for a reason, whether positive or negative. You learn to see obstacles not as threats to your happiness, but as opportunities to grow as a person. How could you allow anyone to steal your joy at this point? At times it’s hard to keep your faith in a world that presents one difficult situation after another. Walking in obedience with God is one of the best ways to have a joyful, blessed life. Every day we need to submit our will and our plans to God. We need to learn to wait on Him, listen to what He’s telling us to do and then obey Him. God knows what’s best for our lives, and He will lead us into His perfect plan if we permit Him to do so. As our love grows, we will want to do what God wants us to do, and our obedience will give us great joy.
There are a lot of different ways someone can steal your joy. Some of them may seem obvious, some less so. Still, even the obvious ones can be less obvious when it’s someone you’re used to having in your life. Someone you’re now less discerning with or more comfortable being around. There may be some critical people in your life where nothing you do is good enough, and they poke holes in everything you do, even the tiny things. You may also know some show boaters who always think they could have done something better or would have done it another way or flaunt their successes over yours. Uncompromising people refuse to see your point of view or back down from a disagreement. Finally, the overly negative people never see the silver lining and seem to go out of their way to bring up the negatives. It’s not that these people are evil, nor do you need to demonize them. These joy stealers are probably not doing so intentionally. However, that doesn’t mean you have to suffer the distress they put you through. They deserve happiness, but so do you. Joy isn’t just a happy feeling based on our circumstances or things. It’s unshakeable stability in our inner spirit that can range from a calm delight to extreme hilarity, and it’s the joy of the Lord that is our strength.
Joy is restored to your life when you learn to forgive and forget, and these two virtues go together. God tells us He forgives our sins, puts them as far as the east is from the west, and remembers them no more. Frequently, we try to forgive people, but forgiveness can’t do its redemptive work because we want to remember what they did to us. Why do we need to forgive people? Because our faith won’t work if we don’t. A lack of forgiveness blocks our fellowship with God, and that prevents our spiritual growth. Holding grudges is like taking poison and hoping your enemy will die. Have you lost your joy because of a lack of forgiveness? If so, you should start forgiving people right away.
Keeping your joy in a world filled with negativity can be challenging. However, we must remember that our joy is the most precious asset we have, so we must cling to it with all our might. The worst thing we can do is put our joy in the hands of someone other than God. No matter the circumstances, don’t let anyone control your emotions in your daily life. I believe many today across America have lost their joy in the midst of current issues. The good news is that joy can be restored. Psalms 51:12 states, “Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.” He’s the ultimate source of our joy, and He will keep us on the right path. The best way to keep our joy despite any circumstance is to keep our eyes fixed on God. And this, I pray will be possible for all of us. Amen
