We read in Numbers 24:5, “How beautiful are your tents, Jacob, and the places where you live, Israel.” (GW)
These are the words that were declared by the Prophet Balaam as he beheld the people of Israel from the top of a mountain. We studied that every one of these words that were spoken by Balaam can be appropriated for us believers because the words that Balaam spoke were not his own but the very words of God. While Balaam looked at the Israelites through his physical eyes, he realized that God opened his to see things differently.
We read in Numbers 24:4, the oracle of him who hears the words of God, who sees the vision of the Almighty, falling down with his eyes uncovered: (ESV)
Balaam realized that his eyes were opened to see things from God’s divine perspective. When we look at anything we can either look at it from a physical point of view or we can look at it with a spiritual angle. Often we are trained to perceive all the hardships, struggles, and difficulties that come to us, and to our families merely through our physical eyes. If we can learn to see things from with our spiritual eyes we will be able to discern the cause for these situations that come our way.
Balak the king of Moab thought that he could allure the Prophet Balaam to curse the Israelites and hinder their progress, but suddenly Balaam’s eyes were opened to see that God was in control.
We too must ask God to open our eyes so that we can understand things from God’s divine perspective, and this alone will prevent us from reacting in the flesh.
With Balaam’s eyes saw what God saw it was then that he declared, Numbers 24:5, “How beautiful are your tents, Jacob, and the places where you live, Israel.” (GW)
There is beauty in orderliness. This is the testimony that God should give about us, and our families when He looks at us, that there is beauty and orderliness in our homes. We live in a hill station and we may not value the beauty of the parks and gardens in our town. Have you observed how when outsiders and tourists visit this place they are in awe of the beauty in this place?
A beautiful family
We read in Proverbs 24:3-4, By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.(ESV)
A home is not built with bricks and cement, but with wisdom and understanding. This means that there is good understanding between the husband and wife. Only when this understanding is there, the family is beautiful, and a beautiful family pleases the Lord.
Let us look at two families that were a great example in the bible of families that were beautiful.
Family of Ruth and Boaz
Ruth was non-Jewish woman from Moab who came to Israel. The reason Boaz married Ruth was not her beauty or wealth or her background, but because of her faith in the Lord. Ruth willingly left behind her country, her family and her gods, and went with her mother in law Naomi. Remember that Naomi had nothing in her hands when she returned back to Israel, but Ruth understood that Naomi’s God was a faithful God.
Those who are not yet married, and looking out for a life partner must have the same outlook that Boaz had to not just go by outward appearance, or wealth, or education, but to value the faith that is in the person.
No wonder then that the family of Boaz and Ruth was a beautiful family who had the honor of being the ancestors in whose line Jesus was born. God was with them, they honored God with their faith, and therefore God honored them.
Family of Mary and Joseph
There was something special about the characters of both Joseph and Mary. If you read about them, both of them never spoke or acted hastily in any situation.
Many of us get so agitated even over simple matters, and we say or do things that we often regret later. Just imagine if we heard the news that Joseph heard about Mary before they were married. I am sure that many a groom would have made a huge issue, and shared this information far and wide. However, both Joseph and Mary kept all of this in their hearts, and Joseph was calm and patient. Joseph waited patiently and when the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, and assured him that the child that was conceived in Mary was of the Holy Spirit, he willingly accepted it. Mary too we read kept many things in her heart, and pondered about it.
It’s really important that we don’t share every issue and problem with others, but must keep some things in our heart. Instead of sharing it with others, we can go to God and seek Him to reveal to us solutions for every problem, be it with the family, among our children, in our education or even at our work place. As children of God we should not react, and make big every little issue that comes up in the family. For every issue that arises between husband and wife, both must be willing to be calm, sort it out, and come up with an amicable solution.
Understanding is necessary for a beautiful family, and I want to place before you three things that can hinder this from happening.
1. Sin
We read in Genesis 3:12-13, The man answered, "The woman you put here with me gave me the fruit, and I ate it." The LORD God asked the woman, "Why did you do this?" She replied, "The snake tricked me into eating it." (GNB)
When God created Adam and Eve He did so with much expectation from them. God placed them in a beautiful garden where they had everything they ever wanted. They also enjoyed God’s presence there. However, when sin entered there, the good understanding that was there between them was messed up.
If sin were to enter either the husband or the wife, there will surely be misunderstandings.
Don’t play the blame game
As Adam hid from God, He confessed to God that he was hiding because he realized that he was naked. God immediately asked Adam if he ate of the fruit that God had forbidden him to eat. The answer to that question should have been a simple, ‘yes or no.’ Note how Adam immediately blamed his wife Eve for his condition, and Eve blamed the Serpent for her disobedience.
Adam when he first saw the woman whom God had created for him reacted quite differently.
We read in Genesis 2:23, Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”(ESV)
As God presented Eve to Adam for the very first time, he fell in love at first sight and exclaimed in wonder that ‘she was bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh.’ This same Adam when confronted by God, did not take the responsibility for his actions, but blamed his wife Eve.
An engaged couple are usually so in love that they are in constant communication and exchange gifts and greetings, but so often after marriage this is not the same. We should be sure that we develop a good understanding after marriage too, and grow in that love that we had before marriage.
In a family sometimes husband or wife will suggest a plan for the good of the family, and when the plan succeeds there will be no praises, but if the plan should fail, the spouse who suggested the plan will duly be blamed by the other. This should not be so, as any plan that is made is for the welfare of the family, and we should therefore take full responsibility for the consequences that come from the same. Husband and wife should support each other, and every plan before it is implemented should be thought through, discussed and prayed about. All decisions should be taken together, and the outcomes should also be handled together.
Sin can come into a family either through the husband or the wife. Sometimes it could be because of some unhealthy relationship or friendship. When this happens, there is room for misunderstanding between the spouses. As couples we must try to be on the same page, and function with the same frequency so we can have a beautiful.
When God created Eve, He did so because God decided that it was not good for a man to be alone. Many young people are choosing to be single because they have seen unhappy marriages at home, and are averse to the thought of marriage.
Eve was to be a helper to Adam, and we must confess that God has given us the right person to be our partner in marriage. There are some people who after many years of being married, look back, and wish they had married someone else. We should not entertain such thoughts as God has brought us together in marriage, and we should honor this, and work towards being more understanding towards each other.
In a Christian marriage we have this unique practice of taking vows at church before God and the congregation. This traditional vow shared by both husband and wife declares that they will have and hold on to each other for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do them part. It is good to remember this often so that we stay by each other no matter what life brings our way.
2. Difficulties
The second thing that causes lack of understanding is when a couple are challenged with financial crisis, sickness or weakness of any kind.
A good example is of Job. This was his wife’s retort when Job lost everything, and was going through unbearable sorrow coupled with physical ailments.
We read this in Job 2:9, His wife asked him, "Are you still holding on to your principles? Curse God and die!" (GW)
Job and his wife had ten children, and they were all grown up. They even had their own houses which means that Job and his wife must had been married for around 30 to 40 years. It was after all these years of living together with a big family, much wealth and prosperity that when Job and his wife lost all of it, his wife was so frustrated that she asked him to ‘curse God and die.’ It is one thing when someone from outside says something, but it must have hurt Job a lot to hear such a statement from his own wife. Job’s wife could not understand how her husband could hold on to his faith in spite of all the calamities that came upon them. When things were going good Job’s wife enjoyed all of it, the wealth, the name, the children, and the blessings, but when everything was lost, she was dejected, and could not stand by her husband.
It is God’s grace we have a family and children, and we should keep thanking God for the same. When trials, difficulties and sickness come, we should not speak negatively, and give room for misunderstanding.
This was Job’s response to his wife in Job 2:10, But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips. (NKJV)
Job realized that his wife spoke foolishly without any understanding. After this rebuke by her husband, it seems that Job’s wife remained silent all through.
Let us thank God for our spouse, and when things get tough we must learn to stand together. When we are faced with all sorts of challenges, we must encourage one another and say, ‘together with God’s help, we will overcome these.’ None of us should ever say things to our spouse in times of crisis as Job’s wife did to him. Whenever we face hardships, we must not hurt each other or blame one another, but together try to see how we can overcome every challenge that we encounter.
3. Children
We read in Genesis 25:28, “Because Isaac liked to eat the meat of wild animals, he loved Esau. However, Rebekah loved Jacob.” (GW)
Isaac and Rebecca were blessed with two sons, the older one was Esau, and the younger one Jacob. Sadly, one was the father’s favorite and the other the mother’s favorite.
There are some families where each parent will favor one child over the other. If this were to happen you can be sure that there will be no proper understanding, and the family will not be a beautiful family. No matter how many children we have, we have to treat all of them equally. Sometimes, if a mother is unhappy with her husband, she will tend to throw all of her anger on the boy who resembles or behaves more like his Dad. Let us remember that every child is God’s gift to us, and we must make sure we bring them up with love and in the fear of the Lord.
We must pay much attention to the way we bring up our children, or else they are sure to go astray. In our country there is a stigma against the girl child, and there are many who ignorantly blame the woman if she gives birth to a girl child. Irrespective of whether we have boys or girls let us be reminded from God’s word that ‘children are a gift from God.’ There are many women who are fearful when they conceive a girl child, and sadly, this has some adverse effects on the child in her later years. We must bless our children because they are God’s precious gifts to us and we must learn to value them.
Hannah and Elkanah’s problem
There was another couple in the bible, Elkanah and Hannah who also had an issue. Hannah was childless, and this created issues between them, because Hannah brought up this matter often to her husband. One fine day, Hannah decided that she would take her problem to the Lord and poured out her heart to God. The Lord answered her prayer and gave her a son, whom she promptly dedicated back to God just as she had promised. What happened afterwards was that Hannah was blessed with five more children.
No matter what our situation, we should give no one the right to cause misunderstandings between us as husband and wife. So also children should learn to be children, and must not interfere when parents are making some decisions. Often parents make all decisions based on their children, and this often causes differences between them. It is also wise to discuss some differences privately rather than in front of the children.
No room for favoritism
Isaac loved his older son Esau because he was a good hunter, and brought home delicious meat which he also cooked for his Dad. Rebecca on the other hand loved her younger son Jacob, because he loved to stay at home and spend time with his mother. This verse in Genesis 25:28, “Because Isaac liked to eat the meat of wild animals, he loved Esau. However, Rebekah loved Jacob.” (GW) is probably the one reason for all the confusion in this family.
We should never encourage favoritism, and should never ask a child who is their favorite, Dad or Mom. These should be totally avoided, and we should encourage children to love both parents. So also parents should love every child impartially. In some families, one parent who is bitter against their spouse, will turn the child against the other parent. This should never be done and we should never sow seeds of hatred in the hearts of our children against our spouse. Children should be taught to respect both parents, and differences between parents should be sorted out between them without the children being influenced in this process.
As husband and wife we must make sure that nothing should come between us, not even our children. Only then God will make our families beautiful families. The Lord should be pleased with our families, and should be orderly in every way.
Even if there are numerous problems and issues in your family, you can pray and ask the Lord to change all of it so that your family is a beautiful one, where God rules, where God is present, and He is glorified in every way. All situations that come our way cannot be handled with our own wisdom and strength. We must go to the Lord for everything when things are fine, and not do so only when things go bad.
May our families be beautiful as God desires them to be. When families are beautiful, churches are good, good churches make up for a godly society, and a godly society helps build a strong nation. Remember that families are the building blocks for a happy and healthy society. Let’s set right every misunderstanding that exists between us, and prayerfully let us desire that our families are beautiful and pleasing to God.
Rev. F. Andrew Dixon
www.goodnewsfriends.net
