THE VASE SHATTERED AGAINST THE WALL AND FELL TO THE FLOOR, AND WITH IT FELL THE HOPES AND DREAMS THAT THEY HAD BROUGHT INTO THEIR MARRIAGE. EVERYONE HAD SAID THAT THEY WERE A PERFECT COUPLE AND THAT THEIRS WOULD BE A PERFECT MARRIAGE, AND EVERYONE WAS WRONG.
SCENES LIKE THAT HAPPEN EVERYDAY THROUGHOUT CANADA, IT MIGHT BE A THROWN PLATE, OR A THROWN BOOK, OR MAYBE A THROWN WORD. BUT EVERY HOUR OF EVERY DAY IN THIS COUNTRY A MARRIAGE COLLAPSES. WHY? WHY DO MARRIAGES FAIL? GOOD QUESTION. WHY DO MARRIAGES FAIL?
IF WE CONSIDER THE QUESTION IN LIGHT OF THE FACT THAT STATISTICS TELL US THAT FOUR OUT OF TEN FIRST TIME MARRIAGES FAIL. THAT EIGHT OUT OF TEN SECOND TIME MARRIAGES FAIL AND THAT NINE OUT OF TEN TEENAGE MARRIAGES FAIL THE QUESTION BECOMES EVEN MORE PRESSING.
HAVE YOU STOPPED ASKING OLD FRIENDS HOW THEIR SPOUSES ARE? THAT HAD BECOME STANDARD OPERATING POLICY FOR ME SINCE WE CAME BACK FROM AUSTRALIA. WHEN I RUN INTO FRIENDS I HAVEN’T SEEN FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS I MIGHT ASK HOW THEY ARE, OR HOW THEIR JOB IS, OR WHERE THEY ARE LIVING, BUT I HAVE EMBARRASSED MYSELF ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER THEN TO ASK HOW THEIR HUSBAND OR WIFE IS. I HAVE HEARD ENOUGH OF "WE’RE NOT TOGETHER ANYMORE" AND "WE SPLIT UP LAST YEAR." OR "WE’RE GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE." IF THEY WANT TO TELL ME THAT’S FINE BUT I’M NOT ASKING.
THE SCARY THING IS THOUGH THAT NOT ALL FAILED MARRIAGES END UP IN DIVORCE COURT. IF YOU THOUGHT ABOUT IT I’M SURE THAT YOU COULD ALL NAME COUPLES WHO ARE STILL TOGETHER BECAUSE OF THE KIDS, OR BECAUSE OF THE CHURCH OR JUST BECAUSE OF PRIDE. THEY OCCUPY THE SAME HOUSE, SHARE THE SAME TABLE AND PROBABLY THE SAME BED BUT THEIR MARRIAGE IS A LONG WAY FROM BEING SUCCESSFUL. KIND OF LIKE THAT MAN WHO SAID THAT HE HAD BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR FIVE YEARS, 1979, 1983, 1986, 1989 AND 1992.
AND IF WE ADD THOSE COUPLES WHO ARE LIVING A LIE IN THEIR MARRIAGE TO THE MARRIAGES WHICH END WITH A DECREE ABSOLUTE THEN WE DISCOVER THAT WELL OVER FIFTY PERCENT OF MARRIAGES CAN BE CONSIDERED AS NOTHING LESS THEN FAILURES.
COUPLE OF QUESTIONS THEN. WOULD YOU LET A DR. PERFORM SURGERY WHO HAD A 50% FAILURE RATE? WOULD YOU FLY IN A PLANE WHICH CRASHED 50% OF THE TIME? WOULD YOU HIRE A LAWYER WHO LOST 50% OF HIS CASES? OF COURSE YOU WOULDN’T YOU’D HAVE TO BE A COMPLETE IDIOT. AND SO I ASK MYSELF, "SELF IF OVER FIFTY PERCENT OF MARRIAGES ARE DOOMED TO FAILURE THEN WHY IS MARRIAGE STILL SUCH A BIG THING?" OR AS ONE MAN SAID "MARRIAGE IS A GREAT INSTITUTION BUT WHO WANTS TO BE IN AN INSTITUTION?"
THE NEXT QUESTION, IS THIS. "IF I CAN FIGURE OUT WHY MARRIAGES FAIL, WILL I BE ABLE TO PREVENT MARRIAGES FROM FAILING?" IT HAS BEEN SAID THAT THE ONE THING WE LEARN FROM HISTORY IS THAT WE DON’T LEARN FROM HISTORY. AND IF THAT IS THE CASE IT IS PROBABLY SAFE TO SAY "THAT THE ONE THING WE LEARN FROM MARRIAGE COUNSELLING IS THAT WE DON’T LEARN FROM MARRIAGE COUNSELLING." WE ARE TOLD THAT THERE ARE SEVEN PROBLEM AREAS IN MARRIAGE AND THEY ARE, SEX, CHILDREN, SOCIAL, RELIGION, FINANCIAL, IN-LAWS AND FRIENDS.
I WOULD GUESS THAT ALL OF THESE PROBLEMS STEM FROM ONE COMMON ROOT, AND THAT IS THAT WHEN WE GET MARRIED WE REALLY DON’T KNOW ANY BETTER. JAMES DOBSON MADE THIS STATEMENT, "YOUNG PEOPLE ARE NOT PREPARED FOR THE REALITY OF TWO IMPERFECT PEOPLE LIVING TOGETHER. THEY TRAVEL FROM ROMANCE TO RESPONSIBILITY OVERNIGHT AND ARE NOT ADEQUATELY PREPARED TO HANDLE THE ADJUSTMENT."
NOW YOU WOULDN’T LET A PERSON WHOSE JUDGEMENT WAS IMPAIRED BY ALCOHOL OR DRUGS TO ENTER INTO A BINDING CONTRACT. AND INDEED THE CIVIL JUSTICE SYSTEM OF OUR COUNTRY WOULD HAVE TROUBLE RECOGNISING A CONTRACT ENTERED INTO UNDER THOSE CIRCUMSTANCES. AND YET WE LET YOUNG PEOPLE ENTER INTO A LIFE LONG CONTRACT WELL THEIR JUDGEMENT IS IMPAIRED BY A FAR GREATER INTOXICANT, INFATUATION.
OVER THE PAST FIFTEEN YEARS OF MINISTRY I HAVE DONE PRE-MARRIAGE COUNSELLING WITH OVER FORTY COUPLES AND I HAVE COME TO ONE INESCAPABLE CONCLUSION. MOST OF THOSE PEOPLE WERE NOT IN THEIR RIGHT MIND. IT DIDN’T MATTER HOW POOR, BROKE OR DESTITUTE THEY WERE, THEY BEHAVED LIKE THEY HAD THE WORLD BY THE TAIL. IF YOU TRIED TO TALK BUDGETS WITH THEM AND EXPLAIN THAT FINANCES ARE THE PRIMARY REASON FOR MARRIAGE BREAK UPS WHY THEY’D LOOK AT YOU LIKE YOU WERE CRAZY. "WHY PASTOR, MONEY MIGHT COME BETWEEN OTHER COUPLES BUT IT WOULD NEVER COME BETWEEN US."
IF ONE OR THE OTHER HAS A FAMILY THAT MAKES THE ADAMS FAMILY LOOK LIKE THE CLEAVERS, "SO WHAT, WE’LL JUST LOVE THEM ANYWAYS."
IF YOU TRY TO TALK TO THEM ABOUT SEXUAL PROBLEMS THEY LOOK AT YOU AS IF YOU HAVE COME FROM ANOTHER WORLD AND HAVE A THIRD EYE IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR FOREHEAD, "WHAT, US HAVE SEXUAL PROBLEMS, I DON’T THINK SO PASTOR." I MUST MARRY A SELECT GROUP OF PEOPLE BECAUSE WHEN I EXPLAIN TO THEM THAT FOUR OUT OF TEN MARRIAGES END IN THE DIVORCE COURTS THEY ALWAYS ASSURE ME THAT THEY ARE IN THE SIX OUT OF TEN GROUP THAT DOESN’T.
SOMETIMES I WONDER WHY I EVEN BOTHER TO WASTE MY TIME IN PREMARITAL COUNSELLING ANYWAY. THEY CUDDLE UP CLOSE, HOLD HANDS, MAKE PUPPY DOG EYES AT ONE ANOTHER GIVE ME ALL THE ANSWERS THAT THEY THINK I MIGHT WANT TO HEAR. WHEN COUPLES ARE DATING AND ENGAGED THEY ARE BLIND TO ONE ANOTHERS FAULTS. YOU’VE HEARD IT SAID THAT LOVE IS BLIND, SURE IS I’M CONVINCED OF THAT. LOVE IS BLIND AND DEAF AND STUPID.
I AM SURE OF THE FACT THAT ONE OF THE MAIN REASONS WHY MARRIAGES FAIL IS BECAUSE PEOPLE DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE GETTING THEMSELVES IN FOR. IF YOU COULD SHOW THEM WHERE THEIR LIFE WILL BE IN FIVE OR TEN OR FIFTEEN YEARS WE COULD CUT THE DIVORCE RATE DRAMATICALLY, OF COURSE THAT WOULD BE BECAUSE FEWER PEOPLE WOULD ACTUALLY GET MARRIED.
ANOTHER OF THE PRIMARY REASONS FOR MARRIAGES FAILING IS THAT WITHIN THE MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP THE COUPLE FAILS TO HEED CHRIST’S ADMONITION IN Matthew 19:55 That’s why a man leaves his father and mother and gets married. He becomes like one person with his wife. SOMEONE STATED THAT DURING THE WEDDING CEREMONY THAT THE TWO BECAME ONE AND DURING THE HONEYMOON THEY DISCOVER WHICH ONE.
THE UNFORTUNATE THING IS THAT TODAY INSTEAD OF THE HUSBAND AND WIFE BECOMING ONE ENTITY THEY REMAIN TWO SEPARATE INDIVIDUALS, PULLING IN TWO SEPARATE DIRECTIONS, AND SEEKING TO FULFIL TWO COMPLETELY SEPARATE SETS OF NEEDS. NOW IT CAN MEAN TWO IN THE SENSE OF ONE MAN AND ONE WOMAN, OR IT CAN MEAN THAT ONE PERSON IS COMMITTED TO THE MARRIAGE WHILE THE OTHER IS SIMPLY COMMITTED TO THEMSELVES.
PROBABLY THE AREA WHERE WE SEE THIS THE MOST IS WHEN ONE SPOUSE ATTEMPTS TO CHANGE THE OTHER SPOUSE. JAMES DOBSON STATES "IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO LOVE AND ACCEPT YOUR MATE IT IS GOD’S RESPONSIBILITY TO CHANGE THEM." WITHOUT SOUNDING SEXIST THE EXPERTS, AND WE ALL KNOW WHAT AN EXPERT IS DON’T WE, "X BEING THE UNKNOWN QUANTITY, SPURT BEING A DRIP UNDER PRESSURE." THE EXPERTS TELL US THAT A WOMAN IS MORE PRONE TO ATTEMPTING TO CHANGE HER SPOUSE THEN IS A MAN. MAYBE WE NEED TO ADOPT THE PHILOSOPHY OF THE WOMAN WHO RESPONDED WHEN THE PASTOR ASKED IF SHE TOOK HER HUSBAND FOR BETTER OR WORSE SAID, "HE CAN’T GET MUCH WORSE, AND THERE AIN’T NO HOPE OF HIM GETTING ANY BETTER SO I TAKE HIM AS HE IS."
WHEN YOU GOT MARRIED DID YOU TAKE YOUR SPOUSE AS THEY WERE OR DID YOU SEE THEM AS A HANDYMAN’S SPECIAL THAT COULD BE FIXED UP. I TELL YOUNG COUPLES, "IF YOU CAN’T LIVE WITH THEM THE WAY THEY ARE NOW, THEN DON’T MARRY THEM." TRYING TO GET YOUR MATE TO ADAPT TO YOU ISN’T INDICATIVE OF TRUE LOVE WHICH SAYS "WHAT CAN I DO FOR THEM" INSTEAD IT IS A SIGN OF CONTINUING INFATUATION WHICH SAYS "WHAT CAN THEY DO FOR ME." YOU SEE MARRIAGE IS THE ART OF SURRENDERING SMALL PERSONAL PREFERENCES. THINGS LIKE HOW YOU SQUEEZE THE TOOTHPASTE TUBE, OR HOW THE TOILET PAPER COMES OFF THE ROLL OVER THE TOP OR BEHIND.
PROBABLY THE GREATEST CONTRIBUTION THAT SOCIETY HAS MADE TO OUR DISMAL DIVORCE RATE IS THIS CONCEPT OF EASY FIXISM. IF SOMETHING ISN’T PLEASING ME THEN I WANT IT FIXED AND I WANT IT FIXED AND I WANT IT FIXED NOW. NOT IN TWO WEEKS, NOT IN A WEEK, NOT TOMORROW BUT NOW. IF YOU ARE PREGNANT AND YOU DON’T WANT TO BE THEN IT’S EASY ENOUGH TO HAVE AN ABORTION, AND IT’S NOT JUST EASY BUT MY TAX DOLLARS WILL PAY FOR IT. AND IT BECOMES INCREASINGLY EASY, WHICH MAY EXPLAIN THE NUMBER OF WOMEN WHO HAVE TWO OR THREE OR FOUR ABORTIONS. AND SO THE FEMINIST TALK ABOUT WOMEN HAVING CONTROL OVER THEIR OWN BODY, SOUNDS OUT OF CONTROL TO ME.
IN THE SAME BREATH IF YOU ARE TIRED OF YOUR MARRIAGE THEN GET A DIVORCE, I MEAN IT’S EASIER THEN WORKING TO KEEP IT TOGETHER. AND ONCE YOU QUIT ONCE IT’S A LOT EASIER TO QUIT THE SECOND TIME. WHICH MAY EXPLAIN WHY THE DIVORCE RATE INCREASES SO DRAMATICALLY FOR SECOND AND THIRD MARRIAGES.
WHY DO MARRIAGES FAIL? BECAUSE PEOPLE WANT THEIR MARRIAGE TO FAIL. DIVORCE MAY BE LEGITIMATE IN THEIR EYES, HE ABUSES HER PHYSICALLY SO SHE WANTS OUT, SHE ABUSES HIM EMOTIONAL AND VERBALLY SO HE WANTS OUT. EITHER ONE OR THE OTHER CHEATS AND SO THE HURT PARTY KNOWS THAT DIVORCE IS THE ONLY ANSWER. LISTEN UP A TRIANGLE OR ADULTEROUS SITUATION MIGHT WELL BE AN EXCUSE FOR A DIVORCE BUT IT IS SELDOM THE CAUSE OF THE DIVORCE. ARE THERE UNDERLYING FACTORS, WHY DO THEY CHEAT, WHY ARE THEY ABUSIVE, PHYSICAL OR VERBAL. THAT DOESN’T JUSTIFY THE SINFUL BEHAVIOUR OF THE OTHER ONE BUT THOSE REASONS NEED TO BE EXAMINED.
A NUMBER OF YEARS AGO I WAS TALKING TO MY FAVOURITE AUNT WHO HAD JUST RECENTLY GOT DIVORCED AND I ASKED HER "WHY DO MARRIAGES FAIL" AND SHE TOLD ME "MARRIAGES FAIL BECAUSE PEOPLE AREN’T WILLING TO WORK AT THEM." SOMETHING HAPPENS AND AT THAT POINT IN TIME YOU DECIDE THAT YOU DON’T WANT TO BE MARRIED ANYMORE. AND RIGHT THERE, AT THAT POINT IN TIME IF YOU AREN’T COMMITTED TO MAKING YOUR MARRIAGE WORK, THEN YOUR MARRIAGE WILL FAIL.
DIVORCE IS A LONG TERM SOLUTION TO A TEMPORARY PROBLEM. YOU CUT OFF YOUR HEAD TO CURE YOUR HEADACHE, YOU SELL YOUR CAR BECAUSE IT RUNS OUT OF PETROL, YOU MOVE SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO MOW YOUR LAWN. THAT LAST ONE HAS POTENTIAL
LET’S BE HONEST, OK. HOW MANY PEOPLE HERE AT ONE OR MORE POINTS IN YOUR MARRIAGE WISHED THAT YOU WEREN’T MARRIED. DON’T RAISE YOUR HAND. IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN FOR A YEAR, A MONTH, A WEEK, A DAY OR JUST A FLEETING THOUGHT. "BOY I WISH I WAS SINGLE AGAIN." THERE WILL ALWAYS BE TIMES IF WE ARE HONEST WHEN IT WILL SEEM A WHOLE LOT EASIER TO THROW UP OUR HANDS AND WALK AWAY THEN TO WORK IT THROUGH. BUT NINE TIMES OUT OF TEN THOSE ARE TEMPORARY PROBLEMS AND DON’T DESERVE A LONG TERM SOLUTION.
RANDOLPH RAY SAID "MARRIAGE IS NEVER FINISHED, THE LESSON IS NEVER LEARNED, THE EFFORT IS NEVER AT AN END. MARRIAGE LIKE LIFE IS A MATTER OF SOLVING THE LITTLE THINGS, THE BIG THINGS GENERALLY TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES." IT’S NOT MARRIAGES THAT FAIL, IT IS PEOPLE THAT FAIL, ALL THAT MARRIAGE DOES IS TO REVEAL THE FAILURE.
WILLIAM PHELPS SAID "THE HIGHEST HAPPINESS ON EARTH IS IN MARRIAGE. EVERY MAN WHO IS HAPPILY MARRIED IS A SUCCESSFUL MAN, EVEN IF HE HAS FAILED AT EVERYTHING ELSE." AND ONCE WHEN ARISTOTLE WAS ASKED BY A YOUNG MAN WHETHER OR NOT HE WOULD RECOMMEND MARRIAGE ARISTOTLE SAID "YES, IF A MAN GETS A GOOD WIFE HE WILL BE VERY HAPPY, AND IF HE GETS A BAD WIFE THEN HE WILL BECOME A PHILOSOPHER AND THE WORLD NEEDS MORE PHILOSOPHERS."
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY? CHRIST TOLD US IN Matthew 5:31-32 31 You have been taught that a man who divorces his wife must write out divorce papers for her. 32 But I tell you not to divorce your wife unless she has committed some terrible sexual sin. If you divorce her, you will cause her to be unfaithful, just as any man who marries her is guilty of taking another man’s wife.
WE’VE LOOKED AT THE SERMON ON THE MOUNT BEFORE AND HOW JESUS TALKS ABOUT CHRISTIANS FULFILLING THE LAW IN MATTHEW 5:17 AND HOW IN VS. 20-48 HE GIVES SPECIFIC EXAMPLES. THE LAW SAID DON’T MURDER, CHRIST SAID DON’T HATE. THE LAW SAID DON’T COMMIT ADULTERY, CHRIST SAID DON’T LUST. THE LAW SAYS IF YOU ARE GOING TO DIVORCE HIS WIFE NEEDED TO MAKE IT OFFICIAL AND LEGAL AND ISSUE HER WITH A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE, CHRIST SAID THE ONLY VALID REASON FOR DIVORCE WAS ADULTERY. THE LAW SAID YOU SHALL NOT BREAK AN OATH, CHRIST SAID YOUR WORD SHOULD BE SO GOOD THAT YOU DON’T HAVE TO TAKE AN OATH. THE LAW SAID AN EYE FOR AN EYE, CHRIST SAID TURN THE OTHER CHEEK. THE LAW SAID LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOUR , CHRIST SAID LOVE YOUR ENEMY.
EACH OF THESE SIX STATEMENTS HAVE A COUPLE OF THINGS IN COMMON. THE FIRST IS THAT THEY DEAL WITH INTERPERSONAL RELATIONS. HOW YOU REACT TO SOMEONE ELSE. THE SECOND THING THEY HAVE IN COMMON IS THAT THEY ARE ALL DIVIDED INTO TWO PARTS. THE FIRST PART IS WHAT THE LAW SAYS. THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT KEEP SOCIETY TOGETHER, NOT KILLING, COMMITTING ADULTERY, MAKING DIVORCE A PROCEDURE, SWEARING OATHS. THIS IS THE LAW AS IT APPLIES TO THE HUMAN RACE AND THIS FIRST PART APPLIES TO BELIEVERS AND NON BELIEVERS ALIKE.
THE SECOND PART OF EACH OF THESE STATEMENTS IS THE FULFILMENT OF THE LAW, AND IT APPLIES TO CHRISTIANS. WHY JUST CHRISTIANS? BECAUSE WITHOUT THE POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT WE DON’T HAVE THE POWER TO ACCOMPLISH THAT WHICH CHRIST HAS SET BEFORE US.
WITHOUT THE POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT HOW COULD WE NOT HATE, HOW COULD WE NOT LUST, HOW COULD WE HOLD TOGETHER THESE FRAGILE MARRIAGES, HOW COULD WE LOVE OUR ENEMIES AND TURN THE OTHER CHEEK. WELL TO BE TRUTHFUL WE COULDN’T. IT’S ONLY WHEN CHRIST GIVES US THAT POWER THAT WE ARE ABLE TO GO BEYOND THE LAW.
AND SO THE LAW IS VERY SPECIFIC. IF YOU CAN’T LIVE WITH YOUR SPOUSE THEN YOU ARE OBLIGATED TO NOT SIMPLY LEAVE BUT TO DO EVERYTHING IN A PROPER AND ORDERLY FASHION. IN JEWISH LAW THAT MEANT FOLLOWING THE GUIDELINES OF Deuteronomy 24:1 IN TODAY’S SOCIETY IT WOULD MEAN GOING THROUGH FORMAL DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS.
HOWEVER CHRIST HAS INDICATED THAT HE EXPECTS MORE OUT OF HIS CHILDREN THEN SIMPLY OBEYING THE LAW, AND INDEED HE STATES THAT IN THE INSTANCE OF A CHRISTIAN COUPLE THAT THE ONLY WAY THAT A MARRIAGE CAN BE TERMINATED THROUGH SEXUAL IMMORALITY, WHICH WAS BREAKING THE ORIGINAL MARRIAGE VOWS.
NOW THERE ARE THOSE IN THE CHURCH WHO WON’T EVEN RECOGNISE ADULTERY AS BIBLICAL GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE, BUT THEY ARE USUALLY PEOPLE WHO HAVE NEVER FACED THAT SITUATION.
AND TO BE TRUTHFUL WHEN A WOMAN COMES TO ME SEEKING ADVICE ABOUT A PHYSICAL ABUSIVE SITUATION I NEVER KNOW WHETHER TO COUNSEL DIVORCE OR MURDER.
YOU SAY THAT’S PRETTY TOUGH ISN’T IT? SURE IS, AS A MATTER OF FACT THAT’S WHAT THE DISCIPLES SAID IN Matthew 19:1010 The disciples said, "If that’s how it is between a man and a woman, it’s better not to get married." BUT WHAT IT DOES IS IT MAKES US SEEK BETTER SOLUTIONS TO THE LESS DRASTIC PROBLEMS IN OUR MARRIAGES.
WHAT IS THE ANSWER? FOR THE NON-BELIEVING COUPLE IT IS VERY SIMPLY THAT YOU OBEY THE LAW CONCERNING DIVORCE, FOR THE COUPLE WHERE ONE PARTNER IS A CHRISTIAN AND THE OTHER PARTNER ISN’T, I DON’T HAVE AN ANSWER, I WISH I DID BUT I’M NOT GOING TO FAKE IT.
FOR THE CHRISTIAN COUPLE THE GUIDELINES ARE VERY PLAIN. IN THE SCRIPTURE THAT WE STARTED WITH THIS MORNING THE BIBLE LAYS DOWN OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO ONE ANOTHER. Ephesians 5:22-33 22 A wife should put her husband first, as she does the Lord. 23 A husband is the head of his wife, as Christ is the head and the Savior of the church, which is his own body. 24 Wives should always put their husbands first, as the church puts Christ first.
25 A husband should love his wife as much as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it. 26 He made the church holy by the power of his word, and he made it pure by washing it with water. 27 Christ did this, so that he would have a glorious and holy church, without faults or spots or wrinkles or any other flaws.
28 In the same way, a husband should love his wife as much as he loves himself. A husband who loves his wife shows that he loves himself. 29 None of us hate our own bodies. We provide for them and take good care of them, just as Christ does for the church, 30 because we are each part of his body. 31 As the Scriptures say, "A man leaves his father and mother to get married, and he becomes like one person with his wife." 32 This is a great mystery, but I understand it to mean Christ and his church. 33 So each husband should love his wife as much as he loves himself, and each wife should respect her husband.
PAUL STATES HERE TWO DISTINCT RESPONSIBILITIES, AND YET ALL TOO OFTEN ONE IS STRESSED OVER THE OTHER. THE FIRST IS WIVES SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBANDS AS TO THE LORD. WE LOVE THAT ONE DON’T WE BOYS THAT IS A SCRIPTURE TO CRACK THE WHIP TO.
THE GREATER RESPONSIBILITY THOUGH LIES WITH THE HUSBAND WHEN HE IS TOLD TO LOVE HIS WIFE AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH. PAUL WROTE 3 VERSES TO THE WIFE BUT HE WROTE 9 VERSES TO THE HUSBAND AND NEXT WEEK WE ARE GOING TO LOOK AT THE OBLIGATION THAT CHRISTIAN HUSBAND AND WIVES HAVE TO EACH OTHER.
