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Due to the large amount of sermons and topics that appear on this site I feel it is necessary to post this disclaimer on all sermons posted. These sermons are original to the author and the leading of the Holy Spirit. While ideas and illustrations are often gleaned from many sources including those at Sermoncentral.com, any similarities and wording including sermon title, that may appear to be the same as any other sermon are purely coincidental. In instances where other minister’s wording is used, due recognition will be given. These sermons are not copyrighted and may be used or preached freely. May God richly bless you as you read these words. It is my sincere desire that all who read them may be enriched. All scriptures quoted in these sermons are copied and quoted from the Authorized King James Version of the Holy Bible.
Pastor James May
The Father Figure
June 17, 2001
Father’s Day Sermon
For centuries the devil has attacked the family in every way possible. Beginning in the Garden of Eden, when Satan first planted the seed of destruction into the family unit and continuing into our present time where the forces of evil are rampant in every facet of society, Satan’s ultimate plan has been to completely destroy the family unit.
His first attack was against woman, who was created from man to be a helpmeet or equal to man but yet submissive to the will of her husband under God. That attack upon woman intensified to the point that the world denigrated women mercilessly. Satan wanted to ultimately punish woman for bringing the Savior into the world.
In recent years I have noticed a change in Satan’s tactics for destruction of the family. After failing to totally destroy the family through attacks against woman that still continue as intense as ever, then attacking our children through drugs, illicit sex, and violence, Satan has now begun to intensify his attacks against the family through the God ordained head of the family, the man or father.
Just watch movies come out of Hollywood as they depict the man of the house as some weak-kneed, emaciated, effeminate, lazy, ignorant man who doesn’t have the knowledge, desire or ability to lead anyone and you will see what I mean. TV shows are no better. One program that I have seen called “Married With Children” is a prime example and has done much to relegate the father of the family to a subservient position. As his wife is continuously putting him down, as his children constantly outsmart him and he is heard to confess over and again how little he cares for his wife or for his family, I am sickened to see the picture that is portrayed as a normal family atmosphere when that is so far from what God has planned.
When you take into consideration the depiction of the father figure in movies and television programming and then add the effects of drug addiction, immorality and homosexuality, its no surprise to see the absolute disrespect and rebellion of our children against their fathers. I don’t blame the children as much as the father for it is he who has been given the authority, under God, to rule the home and if he won’t fulfill that role then why should he get their respect and admiration.
There is no excuse for any man to shun his duty to be the father to his children and the husband to his wife that God commanded him to be.
God help us when the “normal” family unit becomes perverted to include same sex marriages whose “mother and girlfriend” or “father and boyfriend” then adopt children and raise them in that degenerate environment. What chance do those kids have to ever know what God has ordained as a true family unit with one mother, who is a woman, and one father, who is a man, who will live together in Holy Matrimony for a lifetime.
The world’s picture of a perfect family is not God’s idea and the picture of what a godly and loving father should be is nearly non-existent in society anymore.
Much has been said about the difference in the way that a father shows love and the way a mother shows love. Today I would like to give you a picture from the Scriptures of what a loving and caring father really is.
First, I want to point out that fathers act differently toward their children than mothers but that does not negate the love that fathers feel for their children.
Illustration:
I remember one of comedian Bill Cosby’s comedy routines in which he tries to explain just a few of the differences in how a mother and father would react to a child. In this specific incident, the child picks up a piece of dirty driftwood out of the gutter and brings it to mother saying, “Look Ma, I picked this up just for you.” Well, Mom will Ooh and Ah over that piece of driftwood like it was made of gold because she is a nurturer and doesn’t want to hurt the child’s feelings. But, you let that same child bring that same piece of driftwood to Dad and say the same thing and Dad will tell him to get that nasty thing out of the house and throw it outside. Dad cares about the child and loves the child deeply but Dad isn’t a nurturer, he is a hunter and he is very logical. It just wasn’t logical to have a dirty piece of driftwood in the house and the child may as well grow up and face the fact that the world won’t always treat him with tender loving care.
2 Samuel 7:14-15 says it this way; "I will be his father, and he shall be my son. If he commit iniquity, I will chasten him with the rod of men, and with the stripes of the children of men: But my mercy shall not depart away from him, as I took it from Saul, whom I put away before thee."
Fathers are to exhibit the office of priest, judge, guardian and provider for their family. Just as in this passage from 2 Samuel, a father is to be a father to his children. By that I mean that he must act and react in the same fashion in which our Father in Heaven reacts to us as His dear children.
God in Heaven does not overlook the wrong that we are doing nor does he try to make light of it or excuse our sin. God has promised that, if we do wrong, He must and will correct us with a rod. In the case of 2 Samuel, God promised to send a “rod of men” or an army of the enemy against Israel to correct them. That army would be given the power to defeat Israel and to bring punishment upon them. God does promise mercy upon Israel even in the midst of correction.
Father, when your children go astray or behave in an unacceptable manner, its your duty as the judge, priest and father to correct them in an appropriate fashion.
There are times when I have heard my father say to me, “This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you”. I didn’t believe it then and it took me a long time to understand what he meant. I have had to say those same words to my own children. Yet, I must correct them. A father cannot allow his children to grow up without discipline because God has commanded that discipline be applied. We should not allow uncorrected misconduct to continue any more than Jesus can allow sin to continue within us.
Father, learn to temper your rod of correction with mercy. Mercy does not always mean that you won’t use the rod or punish for misbehavior. Mercy means that I will stop short of the punishment that is deserved. Mercy also means that I cannot allow that child to continue as they are going for that would be unfair to them since they don’t know what is the proper behavior.
Sometimes, as a father, we have to take a stance of “Tough Love” and learn to say no when it would be easier on everyone to say yes. All to often our youth, and some adults, are convinced that the world owes them everything and they don’t have to work for anything. That is their father’s fault for making life too easy.
Just as a butterfly gains its strength to live and to fly by struggling within its cocoon, a child must face the battles and unfairness of life and learn to struggle to survive if they are to be strong model citizens.
Isaiah 64:8 puts it this way, "But now, O LORD, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand."
A father is to take the young life that God has entrusted him with and begin to mold that life and character to become a useful vessel unto the Lord. If you want to see what kind of father you have been, just look at the finished vessel of your children’s character and you can see whether you were a good “potter” or not.
Of course, there are children who will not be molded by anyone and will rebel against any and all authority in their lives. In those cases we cannot blame the father. Just as God will mold us and make us into His image and then allow us to destroy ourselves if we want to do so, your children have that same power of self-will and we must allow them to make their own choices and mistakes.
In those cases, we show mercy by standing by, watching them make a mistake and then helping them to pick up the pieces.
Jesus told us in Matthew 6:8, "… for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him."
In like fashion, a true and caring father will know the needs of his family and will do all within his power to supply their every need before they have to ask.
One friend of mine puts it this way, “A Father’s job is to Pay!” In many ways this is the truth because whenever the family is in need, whenever there is an emergency, whenever there is a desire for something that is justified, a father’s job is to provide for his family. Of course this obligation should diminish more as the children grow older and begin to have the ability to help themselves. Sometimes, too, they need a gentle nudge, and sometimes and big shove out the door to learn to make their own way in life.
In Matthew 16:27, Jesus makes a point to say this, "For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and then he shall reward every man according to his works." In 2 Thessalonians 3:10 Paul says, "For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat."
The idea of allowing grown kids to hang around the house without getting out and earning their own way is a fairly recent phenomenon and one that is a stink in the nostrils of God. God still has laws of reaping and sowing and He commands us to earn our own living by the sweat of our brow. If we are allowing our kids to do nothing and supplying their every need, we are doing them a vast injustice. One day, the hard facts of life will ultimate overtake them and we may not be around to help then.
This may all sound hard but a father’s job is not easy. Sometimes we must be hard because we know that if we aren’t hard, our children will be weak and the world will destroy their lives and futures. We don’t want to see that happen because like Jesus, in
Matthew 18:14, "…that not one of these little ones should perish."
A Godly father will want to raise godly children who will duplicate the commitment that he has for Christ. The most rewarding part of fatherhood and raising of children is when we see them strike out on their own, make it through the struggles of life, keep their faith in Jesus and serve the Lord through it all. That’s the moment of triumph for a father and the moment when he can take some degree of satisfaction in the job that he has done for his children.
John 5:19-20, "Then answered Jesus and said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, The Son can do nothing of himself, but what he seeth the Father do: for what things soever he doeth, these also doeth the Son likewise. For the Father loveth the Son, and sheweth him all things that himself doeth: and he will shew him greater works than these, that ye may marvel."
While a father cannot control the lives of his children completely, neither does Jesus attempt to control our lives as though we were robots. Fathers, like the Father in Heaven, are looking for those children who will willingly submit to authority and learn to be accountable for their own actions.
As you can see, a father’s love is shown in quite different fashion from that of mothers. This doesn’t mean that the father loves his children any less. Quite the contrary, it means that he loves his children so much that he will do whatever it takes for as long as it takes to build the children in strong citizens.
Father may be using the rod of correction on his children and be hard on them to try to get them to submit to authority but don’t make the mistake of attacking the children that he is correcting. A father will lay down his life for his children and no one had better raise a hand against them or they will face the father’s wrath.
As I come to the close of this sermon I want to make a few final points. So many of the youth that I come into contact with have little or no respect for parents or adults simply because they perceive those adults as weak leaders who really don’t care. Our society is so caught up in earning a better lifestyle or doing our own thing that we don’t take time to raise our children. They are treated as possessions that we can either enjoy or neglect and not as living, breathing human beings.
The root of bitterness that has risen in the heart of the youth and younger generations of America are a direct result of fathers who just don’t care anymore. I know that this is just a sign of the times in which we live but that doesn’t negate the fact that many families are in ruin because of the lack of love and concern. If you want your children’s respect then do your job as a father and correct them. Train them in the ways of the Lord. Training requires work and commitment and integrity. None of these things are easy but the end result of a child that loves God and serves God and man is worth the effort many times over.
James 1:17 says, "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning."
As natural fathers, we should be striving to fulfill this role in the lives of our children just as God fills it for His children. We must ever be conscious of the things our kids are doing and endeavor to provide only those things that are good and perfect in the sight of God for our kids.
We must work daily on maintaining integrity with our children. They should know where we stand on every important issue of life and spirituality. They should know that Dad will always give the same answer to the same question every time it comes up. Kids should also know that Dad and Mom will not be coerced or manipulated because both parents will stand together in unity..
In summary, we must realize that God’s idea of a successful father and that of the world are vastly different. We must also realize that being a father is our most important job in this life next to our commitment to Christ and His work. Our children are the only thing in this life that we can take with us to the next.
The last point that must be made is this. Father, your children will learn far more about how to behave from your actions than they will from your words. If we want our children to grow up to be a model citizen who loves God, is faithful to the work of the Lord, is faithful to his family, is supportive of his children, who is a great provider of the necessities of life for his family, who is a contributor to the community good and who stays on his knees before God in intercession for family, church and friends – then that’s the father that you need to be right now. The children will learn from your example more than from the sermons you preach.
