INTRODUCTION
“Romeo, Romeo, where Art thou Romeo?”
“Here I am!”
- They use to call me Romeo (Romeo Baumgartle) Because I was so cute... until puberty
- My OLDER SISTER told me I drove all of her friends CRAZY
- I read Romeo & Juliet (the Clef Notes) . I don’t get it - Boy meets girl... Falls in love....
she plays dead... he kills himself... she kills herself...
A. LOVE IS A SICKNESS…
Love makes you do stupid things... It’s a disease... a sickness... that’s why they call it the “love bug”
ILLUSTRATE:
A girl came home from school - hot… light headed… butterflies in her stomach…
weak in the knees… Do you know why???? She had the flu.
But her friend came home the same way -- hot… light headed… butterflies in her stomach…
weak in the knees… Do you know why???? She was in love!!! (Same Symptoms)
The girl with the flu... lasted 24 hours. The girl in love… lasted 24 hours
IT’S A SICKNESS!
B. AND IT MAKES US DO STUPID THINGS…
Elvis sang, “I CAN’T HELP FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU”
ILLUSTRATE:
1. “FALLING” - nobody means to fall… Everybody laughs at you when you fall…
You always get hurt when you fall
2. “I CAN’T HELP” - I bought Steph a leather coat, a camera, and a watch our first Christmas (We had only been dating for 2 weeks!)
- I knew a girl who fell in love with a boy. The Boy borrowed her credit cards.... maxed them out! You know what she did? She GOT MAD.... Then, she GOT A SECOND JOB... Then she got another credit card - And HER BOYFRIEND ASKED TO BORROW IT! You know what she did? She said, “You be careful this time.”
(TS) So if Falling in love is a disease that makes us do crazy things, why do so many of us want to do it?
C. LOVE IS FUN
- Because it’s fun!!! It’s fun to fall.... It’s fun to be helpless... to lose control... to be lost in the clouds… It’s exciting... it’s exhilaration (Like riding a roller coaster)
I know that falling in love is EXCITING… but I also know that falling in love is DANGEROUS!
MY GOAL: TO HELP YOU FALL IN LOVE WITHOUT FALLING OUT OF GOD’S WILL
- Roller coaster has safety features
- Parachuting out of a plane. KNOW THE BOUNDARIES!!! (Get lost in the clouds - but make sure the cloud is over a safe target - not power lines, or a war zone!)
1 Corinthians 6:14-15
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?
Someone once said, “If you are a child of God... and you marry a child of the devil... You’re going to have problems with your in-laws!”
ILLUSTRATE: I Visited a local neighborhood and asked, “Do you go to church? If not, why not?”
One lady answered with tears, “Because I grew up a Baptist, and my husband grew up a Jehovah Witness. And we can’t agree on which church to take our children - so we don’t take them anywhere.” (SAD)
Zig Zigglar said,
“You can marry the right person, and treat them wrong. And they will become the wrong person.
Or you can marry the wrong person and treat them right - and they will become the right person.
Then he said, “More important then marrying the right person is BEING the right person.“
I believe it is so important that you BE the right person. But I also believe you need to marry the right person! And how do you do that?
D. THE LIE
First of all, let’s talk about... THE LIE. The way THE WORLD has taught us to fall in love
STAGE 1: ROMANCE
- Did you know that romance is a $1 billion business? 53% of all paperback books are... Romance. Romance Novels bring in more $$$ in USA than baseball (which is suppose to be our national pass-time) AND what about MOVIES? “Sleepless in Seattle” to “Snow White” are all about falling in love (Romance). And in the movies - they all lived happily ever after.
Most all the movies we watch come from HOLLYWOOD. They are setting the standards for the rest of our nation. They are telling us what is acceptable… what is right… what love is. But has anyone told you that HOLLYWOOD has an 80% divorce rate?
STAGE 2: TRANSITION
- The adjustment stage (Their expectations... their habits... their values)
STAGE 3: REALITY
- In the “Romance Stage” - the love of your life can do no wrong!
- In the “Reality Stage” - they can’t do anything right!!!
STAGE 4: RETALIATION
…cold nights... no kiss... no phone call .... your boyfriends pays more attention to his dog than you
STAGE 5: REJECTION
Falling in love HURTS when you fall outside of the boundaries... outside of God’s will. (So don’t get your philosophy on romance from Hollywood)
E. GOD’S WAY
Galatians 5:1says, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a YOKE OF SLAVERY. (the world’s view of marriage)
…5:7... You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth? That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you. ‘A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough.’ I am confident in the Lord that you will take no other view. The one who is throwing you into confusion will pay the penalty, whoever he may be.” (Hollywood?)
…5:13... You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature… (Sexual immorality)
…5:16... So I say, LIVE BY THE SPIRIT, (How do you marry the right person? How do you fall in love without falling out of God’s will?) …LIVE BY THE SPIRIT, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.
…5:19... The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
…5:22... But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.
GAL 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
1. GOD’S WAY IS LOVE
“But the fruit of the Spirit is LOVE“ (Agape Love)
- "This is my COMMANDMENT that you love one another"
You say, “I don’t want to love someone because I HAVE to.” ... because I’m COMMANDED to... (Where’s the romance?)
Did you realize that most arranged marriages report greater satisfaction with marriage than Americans have with their marriages
Agape love is what gets you through the bad times
Ephesians 5:25-28
Husbands, love your wives, JUST AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. IN THIS SAME WAY, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Ladies - how are men instructed to love you? The way Christ loved the church (Sacrificially)
But, if you don’t marry a strong Godly man - what’s the chances your husband will love you in this way?
The fruit of the Spirit is love - and the only ones who can love in this manner are people who have the Spirit of God living in them...
This is a love that Brittany Spears can’t sing about...
Hollywood can’t make movies about it... They don’t understand it.
- It is a love full of JOY! Full of PEACE!
The love the world offers doesn’t include long lasting joy... long lasting peace…
2. GOD’S WAY IS PATIENCE
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, PATIENCE…”
Those who are led by the Spirit of God must wait upon God!
- “Trust in the Lord with all your heart... Lean not on your own understanding”
- Don’t get ahead of God... don’t take matters into your own hands
I don’t know how many times I’ve met 18 year olds who think they are half way through their child bearing years…
I was 25 when I married Steph. I was lonely before I met her. I could have taken matters out of God’s hands. But I was patient - And God blessed me for waiting on him
3. GOD’S WAY IS SELF-CONTROL
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and SELF-CONTROL.
- teenage pregnancy
- sexual diseases
- No pregnancies... no diseases - BUT a lot of guilt
- Emotions outside of boundaries
2 Timothy 3:3 says, “But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, WITHOUT LOVE, unforgiving, slanderous, without SELF-CONTROL, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, LOVERS OF PLEASURE RATHER THAN LOVERS OF GOD-- having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.
GET SELF-CONTROL! PRAY for SELF CONTROL!
2 Peter 1:5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, SELF-CONTROL; and to SELF-CONTROL, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.
Galatians 5:25... Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.
Pete Baumgartle,
First Capital Christian Church,
Corydon, Indiana
heypastorpete@hotmail.com
