December 6, 1998
INTRODUCTION
A little boy and a little girl were singing their favorite Christmas carol in church the Sunday before Christmas. The boy concluded “Silent Night” with the words, “sleep in heavenly beans.”
His sister elbowed him, and said, “No. Not beans, peas!”
The way many of us feel by the time we are ready for Christmas, the song might just as well end with beans or peas instead of peace. Because sometimes in the frantic rush to get everything done the peace of the season seems to elude us.
I’ve tried to compile a list of potential things that happen at this time of year which may contribute to increased stress during the holiday season. See if any of these ring a bell, no holiday pun intended.
Shopping for gifts
Getting to the necessary holiday parties
Putting up the decorations
Cooking a meal
Wrapping the gifts
Making enough cookies and breads to give away
Buying a tree
Fighting the traffic
Having enough money to buy gifts
(If married) Figuring out when to celebrate at both sets of parents without offending either
All the stores are out of the gift you’re looking for
Three frightening words – Some assembly required
Having the right clothes for social occasions
Gaining weight
Christmas programs for the kids at school and at church
Untangling the strands of lights
Sending out Christmas cards
Hearing “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer” for the 150th time
Cleaning the house
Forgetting someone for whom you should have purchased a gift
Feeling the pressure to make a memory
Knowing the year is coming to a close and you didn’t accomplish what you intended to
Facing relatives you don’t get along with
All of your work is due on a rapidly approaching December 25 deadline
Knowing that maybe you’ll spend Christmas alone
Three often overlooked words – batteries not included
Being a part of a family that celebrates separately because of a divorce
Christmas lights that won’t work
Arranging travel schedules
Missing loved ones who have passed away
Paying off the credit cards
Weeding through crowded stores
Members of your family who find where you hid their presents.
When you compile a list like this, it’s easy to see why Christmas is a major period of increased stress for many people.
Does Christ have anything to say to us in the midst of this season of hurry and rush? I believe he does. After all, it’s his birthday party, so what does he think about all of this?
There’s a humorous little story in the Gospel of Luke that shows how busyness and stress gets in the way of what matters most. It wasn’t his birthday, but it was a party, and Jesus was the honored guest.
READ LUKE 10:38-42
38As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
41“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Understanding what Jesus said to Martha about Mary, it’s easy to see that…
THESIS: We will enjoy the season much more when simply focus on what is “needed.”
I. WHAT IS STRESS?
A. Martha said, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” (Luke 10:40)
I think Martha was experiencing some stress.
Rushing around trying to get everything ready – after all Jesus was in her house!
“Doesn’t anyone care how busy I am?” she thinks. She comes in the room with hors d’oeuvres, “Oh, Mary, dear sister, there you are! Don’t bother getting up. And, Jesus, I wish I could stay and chat like SOME people, but you’ll all be wanting freshly crushed grape juice soon, so I guess I’ll just go back to the kitchen where I’m working ALONE.”
B. Stress is your body’s alarm system.
1. “No one can live without experiencing some degree of stress. You may think that only serious disease or intensive physical or mental injury can cause stress. This is false. Crossing a busy intersection, exposure to a draft, or even sheer joy are enough to activate the body’s stress mechanism to some extent. Stress is not even necessarily bad for you; it is also the spice of life, for any emotion, any activity, causes stress.” (Hans Selye, in The Stress of Life)
2. Stress can be caused by anything that creates a state of arousal or alarm in our systems - by anything that mobilizes our bodies defenses against hostile, threatening or even challenging events in our environment.
Stress can result from anything that:
Annoys you
Threatens you
Prods you
Excites you
Scares you
Worries you
Hurries you
Angers you
Frustrates you
Challenges you
Criticizes you
Or by anything that reduces your self-esteem
It can be caused by almost anything pleasant or unpleasant.
The experts say that getting married is actually more stressful than getting fired from your job. And retirement is more than twice as stressful as moving to a new residence.
Illus – Think about this rubber band. If stretched, it will return to its normal, relaxed position when the external force is removed.
The body’s stress response is also stretched whenever it is subjected to any emergency or demand. It ought to return to a normal, relaxed state when the demand is removed.
If stretched for a long time and held, it loses its elastic properties and will eventually snap.
I was going to actually snap this rubber band, but when I practiced it hurt worse than I thought it would!!
C. If our bodies are repeatedly held in a state of alarm, they will show damaging consequences.
Some symptoms of stress are:
Frequent headaches
Stiffness in the neck, shoulders, jaw, arms, legs, hands
or stomach.
Irregular heartbeats
Getting dizzy or lightheaded
Suffering from colds, flu or hoarseness
Indigestion, nausea or discomfort in the stomach
Difficulty falling or staying asleep.
Waking up feeling tired
Cold hands or cold feet
Excess perspiration
Anger or irritability
The holiday season can be a period of major stress. The rubber-band gets stretched pretty far and held there. Maybe some of you are feeling the effects.
I wouldn’t be too surprised this morning to find out that a number of you have exchanged heated words with people you care about in the midst of holiday preparations.
I wouldn’t be too surprised if a few of you said you are actually dreading instead of looking forward to the next three weeks.
I wouldn’t be too surprised if some of you are mentally arranging your “to-do” list right now while secretly pretending to listen to a sermon.
It’s a difficult time of year.
TRANSITION: So we’ve seen what stress is, but what about its cure?
II. WHAT IS THE HOLIDAY CURE?
I love this verse…
A. “Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.” (Luke 10:40)
Doesn’t that sound like us sometimes?
1. Like Martha, we can get so distracted by all the seemingly necessary things that we miss the point.
2. Peter Drucker in The Effective Executive says for most of us the problem is not “priorities” as much as it is “posteriorities.” By this he means what we choose to “leave out.”
Isn’t that the real problem? Some of the things that we make priorities aren’t really the priorities. By focusing on these things of lesser importance we miss what’s most important.
B. The answer is to be like Mary.
Look what Jesus tells Martha…
1. “Only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better…” (Luke 10:42)
2. She realized spending time with Jesus was more important than external preparations.
Martha’s choice had not been bad. The things she was working on were all good – it simply wasn’t the wisest choice at the moment. Why? Jesus was there!
3. All the Christmas preparations are good, but there is “only one thing” that is “needed.”
And that thing that is needed this Christmas is spending time with Jesus in a personal, intimate love relationship.
4. We must never get so busy with the outward things that we neglect the quiet and peaceful worship of our Lord.
Illus – Lucinda Norman wrote an article in Lookout magazine for December 15, 1996 called “An Atmosphere of Calm.” She describes her Christmas shopping experience at a busy mall. People have been pushing, elbowing and cutting in front of her all day. Hardly able to take it anymore, she says,
“During a 10-minute special (10% off the already 25% discount), a woman grabbed a lace tablecloth from my hands. I looked her straight in the eye and grunted, “Mine!” and yanked it back. I won. By 4 o’clock in the afternoon, my mood was belligerent.”
At a mall restaurant she met some friends and flagged down a server and said, “I need hot tea, now!” The lady snapped at her and said, “I’m not your server. Wait your turn.”
She said, “Lady, I’ve been waiting my turn all day, bring me some tea!” But the waitress ignored her.
A few moments later, a friendly young man came to her table smiling and said, “I’m Rob, your waiter.” After he took their order she noticed that Rob stopped to help the rude waitress with her tray. He greeted the other customers and staff.
In the midst of dozens of hurried shoppers and restaurant staff he conducted himself in a polite, unhurried atmosphere of calm. When he refilled her tea, Lucinda noticed a silver ring on his right hand made of connected letters. After he walked away, she said to the other ladies at the table, “Did you notice that our server is wearing a ring that spells Jesus?”
From that moment her attitude changed. This one young man’s example had reminded her of the peace that Christ came to bring. He had apparently spent time with the Lord. For the rest of the day, she enjoyed shopping, opened the door for others, let people in front of her at the check-out-line. In an atmosphere of calm.
How can we be calm in the midst of stress all around us at this time of year? How can we be like Mary, and simply focus on what is needed?
C. Here’s a good place to start: Cross out everything that takes away from the real meaning of Christmas.
For instance, if it’s really stressing you out, do you absolutely have to make those special cookies that take a whole afternoon to make?
Or, do you absolutely have to put up all the lights on the house that you did last year?
Then…
1. Lay out a plan
State your expectations up front (What is the main thing that needs to happen this Christmas?
Plan ahead
Share the load with others (other family members can help)
Lighten the calendar (Which events are optional?)
Respect your budget (Have you determined how much you will spend before you go shopping?)
2. Put your most significant relationships first
Christ – spending personal time with Him and worshiping Him at church
Spouse – make a date night in December
Family – Don’t neglect them for what seem like other obligations. You’ll regret it later in life, and you honor Christ by honoring your family.
Closest friends who feel like family
3. Look for the spiritual dimension in everything (house cleaning is like preparing our hearts for Christ to welcome him, gift-giving is like the wise men giving to Christ, the colors of the holiday season, etc.)
4. Focus on those who are in need
TRANSITION: The holidays don’t have to be the most stressful time of the year when, like Mary, we only focus on what is needed.
CONCLUSION
Illustration – On Wednesday I noticed that I only had 4 free evenings between now and Christmas. I knew that if Kim and I were going to put up the Christmas tree and decorate with the lights, that Wednesday night (that night!) was our chance. When I got home I found out that Kim had a practice for the drama she was in this morning. I wanted to get the house decorated. You know, like men sometimes do, I had focused in on the task at hand and I was ready to conquer. But she wanted to help with the decorating too. I’ll admit, at first I wasn’t too sensitive to this need. Pretty soon we both were feeling stressed – her because she wanted to help and couldn’t. Me because I needed her help and wasn’t going to get it.
As it turned out, I rearranged some things for Thursday night, got some work done Wednesday night, and we put up everything together on Thursday.
A. On the night Jesus was born, angels from heaven announced, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.” (Luke 2:14)
B. Don’t let the celebration of the most peace filled night in earth’s history turn into the most stressful time of the year.
READ SILENT NIGHT
Silent Night, Holy Night
All is calm, All is bright
Round yon virgin, Mother and child
Holy infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly PEACE
SLEEP in heavenly peace
