Last week in looking at the importance of being a part of a local church, we read from Ephesians 4 where Paul speaks of the privilege and responsibilities of church membership. In our text today, we find Paul admonishing the church to be a safe harbor where one can find shelter and solace. Many come to the church seeking acceptance, empathy and concern only to find, criticism, condemnation, and cliquish coldness. I believe that it is God’s desire for the church to be a true safe harbor where anyone saint or sinner can come and be touched by the very presence of God in the midst of the family of God. The church should be….
I. A place where hypocrisy is avoided and transparency is encouraged.
A. Ephesians 4:25 "Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbor: for we are members one of another."
B. Who will listen to the message of God’s understanding and love when the messengers of that God are examples of anything but that?
C. Titus 1:16 "They profess that they know God; but in works they deny him, being abominable, and disobedient, and unto every good work reprobate."
D. Southern Californians are always saying that they can ski on snow in the mountains in the morning and ski on water on the ocean in the afternoon. But the reality is that very few have actually ever done that? Sometimes we Christians do the same thing. We talk about Christ controlling our lives but in fact, we do as we please.
E. Some time ago, I was in an Italian deli. I noticed a plate of fettuccini Alfredo on the counter along with a salad and a beverage. It looked very appetizing. The next time I went to the deli I noticed the same meal at the counter. I finally realized and came to the very correct conclusion that I had found a very well disguised hypocrite. To the eyes it appeared to be the genuine article but was in fact a ceramic imitation. It looked good on the outside but had no real substance. We find people of this sort in our churches, looking extremely like what they should be, yet having little if any substance in them.
F. The inconsistent Christian is one of the devil’s best workers.
G. James 5:16 "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much."
H. The Bible is a remarkable book. All its heroes are flawed (except one)
I. In the parable of the Publican and the Pharisee, the Publican was no more righteous in himself than the self-righteousness of the Pharisee. In the parable it is not the Publican as such but the repentant Publican who is praised.
J. I think we are unreal about ourselves, even as Christians, because we are afraid that if people find out what we are actually like inside, behind the mask, they will not accept us.
K. Psalms 34:18 "The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saves such as be of a contrite spirit."
II. A place where sin is the object of our hate and souls are the object of our love.
A. Ephesians 4:26-27 "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: neither give place to the devil."
B. There is a right or justifiable anger. We must be angry with sin
C. Dr. David Seamands - "Anger is a divinely implanted emotion. Closely allied to our instinct for right, it is designed to be used for constructive spiritual purposes. The person who cannot feel anger at evil is a person who lacks enthusiasm for good. If you cannot hate wrong, it’s very questionable whether you really love righteousness."
D. A person who is angry on the right grounds, against the right wrongs, in the right manner, at the right moment, and for the right length of time deserves great praise.
E. Hate the sin but love the sinner.
F. D L Moody said, "Show me a church where there is love, and I will show you a church that is a power in the community. In Chicago a few years ago a little boy attended a Sunday school, I know of. When his parents moved to another part of the city the little fellow still attended the same Sunday school, although it meant a long, tiresome walk each way. A friend asked him why he went so far, and told him that there were plenty of others just as good nearer his home. "They may be as good for others, but not for me," was his reply. "Why not?" she asked. "Because they love a fellow over there," he replied. If only we could make the world believe that we loved them there would be fewer empty churches, and a smaller proportion of our population who never darken a church door. Let love replace duty in our church relations, and the world will soon be evangelized." Moody’s Anecdotes, pp. 71-72
G. Too often churches are filled with petty jealousy, hurt feelings, and wrong anger.
H. While there is a right anger there is also an unjustifiable or wrong anger.
1. Anger that flares up when one does not get his/her own way
2. Anger that holds contempt, scorns, despises, ridicules, curses, harbors malice, or seeks revenge.
I. Alan Redpath, Leadership, Vol. 3, no. 2. The secret of every discord in Christian homes and communities and churches is that we seek our own way and our own glory.
J. Philippians 2:3-4 "Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others."
K. "People need loving the most when they deserve it the least."
III. A place where selfishness is abandoned and selflessness abounds.
A. Ephesians 4:28 "Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labor, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needs."
B. The word steal (klepto) means to cheat, to take wrongfully from another person, either legally or illegally.
C. Stealing stems or springs out of the deep selfishness of the heart.
D. Romans 13:10 "Love works no ill to his neighbor: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law."
E. Meister Eckhart (C. 1260-C. 1327) He who withholds but a pennyworth of worldly goods from his neighbor, knowing him to be in need of it, is a robber in the sight of God.
F. A selfish heart loves for what it can get--a Christlike heart loves for what it can give.
G. 1 John 3:17 "But whoso hath this world’s good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?"
H. Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910) - My piece of bread only belongs to me when I know that everyone else has a share and that no one starves while I eat.
IV. A place where negativity is deplored and positive speech is adored.
A. Ephesians 4:29-30 "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption."
B. Corrupt = rotten, foul, polluted, putrid, obscene, offensive, discouraging
C. James 3:6 "And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell."
D. Mary Stewart Van Leeuwen - It’s difficult for men and women alike to be transparent in an evangelical church. You put something on the prayer chain, and you never know when your next door neighbor is going to be talking about it.
E. "There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, that it hardly becomes any one of us to talk about the rest of us."
F. Don Basham - Sometimes I think the whole Christian world is made up of just two groups: those who speak their faith and accomplish significant things for God, and those who criticize and malign the first group.
G. Billy Graham, The Secret of Happiness, p 65. "You have a tongue and a voice. These instruments of speech can be used destructively or employed constructively. You can use your tongue to slander, to gripe, to scold, to nag, and to quarrel, or you can bring it under the control of God’s Spirit and make it an instrument of blessing and praise."
H. Titus 2:7-8 "In all things showing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine showing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity, sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you."
I. Furthermore, in Ephesians 5:4 the Christian is commanded to abstain from "filthiness (immoral conversation), foolish talking (idle, thoughtless speech), and jesting (poking fun, suggestive speech, off-colored conversation)."
J. In a lesson on Ephesians 4:29, junior church children were asked, "How can we make our words good for others?" They answered, "Say nice things. Give out compliments. Be cheerful. Tell the truth." Then a little girl piped up, "Our words should be like little silver boxes with bows on top." (Florence Littauer, Silver Boxes. Today’s Christian Woman, "Heart to Heart.")
V. A place where harshness is not acceptable and kindness is a way of life.
A. Ephesians 4:31-32 "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice. And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you."
B. Oswald Chambers (1874-1917) - If there is the tiniest grudge in your mind against anyone ... your spiritual penetration into the knowledge of God stops.
C. I John 4:20 "If a man says, I love God, and hates his brother, he is a liar: for he that loves not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?"
D. An evangelist assisting another pastor in a revival meeting visited a man who had been active in the church, but, due to a dispute with a fellow member, had quit attending church. They reasoned with him at length about the need for forgiveness and returning to church. Reluctantly, he agreed, and they had prayer together. When they were leaving, he followed us to the car and said, "Now, I’ll forgive him, but all I want is for him to stay on his side of the road, and I’ll stay on mine."
E. We are to be tender hearted - show compassion, mercy, understanding, love, and warmth, forgiving as we have been forgiven.
F. A man by the name of Isidore Zimmerman served 25 years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit. Because of false testimony, he was convicted of killing a New York policeman. In time his innocence was proven, however, and in 1962 he was released. One of the sad elements of his story is what happened after that. Even though innocent all along, he could not escape the stigma of being an ex-convict. What few jobs he could get didn’t last long when employers learned he had served time. His record was cleared, but he was not fully accepted by society. How different this is from the unconditional forgiveness God offers to us! Although we are guilty, God forgives us unconditionally when we accept Jesus as our Lord and savior.
G. Colossians 3:13 "Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye."
