2 Samuel 13:23-39
The Rage of David (13:21, 22)
David got angry when he heard about the sin of Amnon but nothing more.
The Request of Absalom (13:23-27)
“And it came to pass after two full years” (13:23). This verse refers to the events recorded earlier in the chapter. Absalom’s sister Tamar had been forcibly raped by her half brother Amnon (13:14). Because of this vile act, Absalom had developed a deep resentment against Amnon and refused to speak to him (13:22). For two long years that bitterness had eaten away on Absalom’s spirit. Thoughts of “getting even” had crossed his mind many times; however, no suitable opportunity had presented itself.
Now Absalom came before the king to make a request. Initially, it seems there were no thoughts of malice or revenge. The feasts associated with sheepshearing were near. Absalom’s sheep were being sheared near the border of Ephraim in the village of Baal-hazor approximately fourteen miles northeast of Jerusalem (13:23). In preparation for the big event, Absalom was hurriedly extending invitations to all the king’s sons. How prestigious if David himself would attend! So Absalom asked his father and his servants to honor him with a royal visit (13:24).
David attempted to excuse himself by saying, “Nay, my son, let us not all now go, lest we be chargeable unto thee” (13:25). “Chargeable” means “to be heavy or burdensome.” The presence of the king’s court might be too great a burden on Absalom and his attendants. Absalom refused to be rejected so easily. Great preparation and planning had been made. Besides, Absalom might have felt his reputation as one of the king’s sons was at stake. Therefore, Absalom “pressed” his father to go. This word for “press” is used of the pressure exerted upon an immovable object such as a wall, with the result that there is a breakthrough. Even after the pressure, David stood firm, and the real reason is revealed. “Howbeit he would not go” (13:25). Literally, the Hebrew says, “And he was not willing to go.” David just did not want to take the time to participate in the interests of his son. This possibly strikes a responsive chord in the hearts of many father who are too busy to take an interest in the activities of their children. Such insensitivity can produce an unwanted reaction. Paul warned,
“Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged” (Col. 3:21).
"And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." (Eph 6:4)
"Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life." (Prov 13:12)
Fathers, we can quickly cause our children to be disheartened by uncalled-for irritation. David’s response to Absalom must have broken his spirit. Then to add insult to injury, David “blessed” his son, which would be like saying, “Have a great party!” How can you have a great party without the king? Maybe David said, “I’m busy I’ve got to go write the 23rd Psalm.” (“Duties never conflict”). David’s boys may have resented the 23rd Psalm. Don’t tell your kids the reason you have to be somewhere else is to write a sermon or prepare a Sunday School lesson they will learn to resent those things, especially when they see you watching three hours of television every night. They didn’t need a king or psalmist, they needed a dad.
Scottish novelist Sir Walter Scott first gained fame with his poems of medieval families living on the English-Scottish border. Although Scott was well known, his son was ignorant of his father’s literary fame, loving and admiring him for reasons closer to a boy’s heart. Once, the younger Scott was in the company of some older people who were discussing his father’s genius. "Yes," put in the boy, "He is usually first to see the rabbit." Apparently Sir Walter spent a good deal of time hunting rabbits with his son. That time together meant more to young Scott than all the novels his father would ever write.
The turning point?
Not willing to leave entirely empty-handed, Absalom made a slight change in his request. This may be the point where Absalom decided to avenge his sister’s shame. He asked if Amnon, as David’s representative, might be permitted to attend the celebration. The king was curious as to why Amnon should go (13:26), but Absalom’s answer is not given. However, he did continue to pressure his father until, in desperation, David yielded to the request and even decided to send all his sons (13:27). (Although it is impossible to prove beyond doubt, David might have thought Absalom would not harm Amnon while in the company of all the king’s sons.) From this incident and what follows, we should learn that hasty decisions made under pressure can lead to disaster. (“Can I dad, please, dad, please!”) We give in when we know we shouldn’t.
The Revenge Against Amnon (13:28-29)
Absalom seized the opportunity before him. Meeting privately with his servants in hushed tones, he ordered them to keep a careful watch over Amnon. When it was evident that Amnon was oblivious to his surroundings, Absalom would issue a command to kill Amnon (13:28). Their faces must have registered surprise and fear, for Absalom said, “Fear not: have not I cammanded you?” This statement was made not only to dispel any doubt but also to assure them that Absalom assumed full responsibility for the deed. Then Absalom said something rather ironic, “Be courageous, be valiant.” These were words normally associated with acts of highest character. Bitterness had so clouded Absalom’s judgment that he called evil good. How do they get to where they justify evil. This is another way father’s provoke their children to wrath.
2 Sam. 13:20-23
2 years went by after Amnon raped Tamar
Who is the father?
Who should establish justice in the home?
What does David do for 2 years? Nothing.
If you want harmony at home you will punish, and make judgments that are fair for everyone.
Absalom gets justifiably angry, 13:22. Justice was in demand, David never satisfied the demand so Absalom took care of it himself. What happens when anger is not dealt with. Bitterness☞murder☞Vigilante Justice
Where does anarchy come from? Bernard Goetz shot four muggers. Anarchy come from a failed justice system
Judg 21:25 In those days there was no king in Israel: every man did that which was right in his own eyes.
When there is no king or father, the kids will make things right in their own eyes.
13:28, Absalom calls them valiant.
Who solves disputes in your home? You dads, or your children?
What do you tell your fighting children? Do you trivialize the problem? Ha ha “say your sorry” or do you make judgments without the facts? “Cut it out you two”
“What happened?” “He hit me first” If you allow that you are reinforcing anarchy.
If there is a problem I want to know about it. So that there is harmony. And I wont discourage them.
Absalom knows how important judging fairly is to the harmony in the land
“When I’m dad” or “When I’m king”
2 Sam. 15:3
When you judge problems in your home you’ll win hearts 2 Sam 15:6
Finally, the fateful day arrived. Absalom and Amnon were seated in the most prominent places surrounded by the other sons of the king. Music filled the air, food was abundant, and wine flowed freely. Everyone was caught up in the merriment of the moment—everyone except Absalom, who scanned the scene with watching eye, waiting to vent his anger on his unsuspecting brother. Then the hour came; the command was shouted. Instantly, Amnon was engulfed by his enemies. When the servants had finished their brutal act, Amnon lay in a pool of blood.
The remaining participants fled in horror. Jumping on their mules, they ran for their lives.
The Remorse at Jerusalem (13:30- 36)
While the king’s sons were in transit to Jerusalem, word came to the king of what had taken place. The report contained the rumor that all the king’s sons had been killed (13:30). David, believing the news tore his clothes and fell on his face in mourning, as did all of his servants (13:31). David’s nephew, Jonadab, stepped forward to comfort the king.
Jonadab believed that only Amnon had been slain in Baal-hazor. His reasoning was clear. He had heard statements from Absalom’s lips concerning his intentions. And it was Amnon only who had defiled Tamar (13:32).
Soon the guard in the watchtower spied a pack of fast-moving mules carrying the king’s sons approaching from the west side of Jerusalem (13:34). It was evident that Jonadab’s words were true. Smugly he remarked, “I told you so.” (Cf. 13:35.) Jonadab was the young man who manipulated others to gain advantage for himself. Apparently, he knew in advance what would happen in Baal-hazor; but did not tell his “friend” Amnon of the danger. Nor did he try to stop Absalom. Absalom was now the heir apparent and could promote a confidant like Jonadab. (Young people, those friends who teach you to sin, cf. 2 Sam 13:3, ff., will drop you when they find someone more popular or who can help them to achieve popularity more quickly. They are not your friend!) Jonadab’s words of “comfort” to David would insure friendly relations with the throne. When he ceased speaking, the sons of David entered their father’s presence and all wept over the tragedy that had occurred (13:36).
Around the end of the fourth century and toward the beginning of the third century B.C., there was a very famous architect by the name of Sostratos. The king of Egypt engaged Sostratos to build a famous light house in order that ships might be guided safely to the port. When Sostratos finished building the light house he chiseled his own name upon a stone that he used in construction. He did not allow that stone to be seen but covered it with mud. As soon as the mud dried, he carved the king’s name on it and painted it in gold in order to flatter him. Sostratos knew that sooner or later one of the waves would wash the mud away and the name of the king would disappear while his own name carved in stone would remain.
Watch those people who, on the surface show a great deal of interest in you and flatter you. It may be just superficial. They may be just writing your name on mud while underneath all the nice words and flattery is their own name carved in stone.
Don’t be a tattle tale, snitch, stoolie, squealer. Was Jonadab Amnons friend, was he Davids friend (he comforted David). Probably didn’t want Absalom to call him a tattle tale. Since when do we allow murders and drug dealers to set the standard for secrecy. Kids went to the river, didn’t want to wear life jacket.
The Retreat Across Jordan (13:37-39)
Absalom knew the gravity of the situation and resolved to hide until things cooled off. Since logically he could not remain within reach of his father, he fled to Talmai, King of Geshur, who was his grandfather (13:37; cf. 3:3). Absalom’s self-imposed exile extended over three years (13:38). During that time David mourned daily over the loss of his firstborn, Amnon (13:37).
2 Sam 13:39 And the soul of king David longed to go forth unto Absalom . . .”
This implies that all was forgiven and that David wanted to mend his relationship with Absalom. However, the context of this statement, with the event of the following chapter, lends credibility to and alternate translation. “And this [Absalom’s residence with Talmai] restrained King David from going forth against Absalom.” In other words, at the time of Amnon’s death, David was prepared to punish Absalom for his crime. As months passed, however, David’s grief began to wane for his dead son.
Punished by grounding. 13:38; 14:24, 28
Absalom is grounded for 2 years
Grounding fails to qualify as an adequate corrective measure for several reasons.
In the first place, grounding is impossible to enforce. If correction is really going to correct, then it must be enforceable.
Secondly, the practice of grounding allows a sinful and unnatural tension to remain between the child and his parents for days or even weeks. Mom and Dad have to maintain a cool and negative attitude toward their son or daughter to even think of trying to enforce grounding.
Thirdly, the Scriptures provide for that situation where physical correction of itself is deemed to be inadequate.
The scriptural principle is not grounding: it is restitution. Restitution is seen, for example, in Exodus 22:1, where the thief who steals an ox and sells it must restore fivefold to the owner. The function of correction is to rescue the child from his wrongful course and to establish him on the proper path wherein he assumes personal responsibility for his actions. Restitution demands an immediate, personal, and proper response, whereas grounding provides only time for thought (perhaps to plot revenge).
The great thing about spanking is you can do it and its over then we can enjoy each other again.
Born in 1765 in France, James Smithson was the illegitimate son of a prominent English duke and a direct lineal descendant of King Henry VII through his mother. Branded as a bastard, James was refused British citizenship and denied a rich inheritance through his true father. Due to this rejection the young Smithson felt constrained to succeed at whatever he did, and he became one of England’s leading scientists and a member of the Royal Society (the chief association of leading scientists) at the age of twenty-two.
In 1829 Smithson, who never married, died and left his considerable fortune to a nephew. Rumor had it that the terms of Smithson’s will stipulated that his entire estate was to go to one recipient upon the nephew’s death. The English scientific community hoped that he had made sizable grants to their favorite institutions. But when the terms of the will were made public they were shocked!
Smithson had written: “Just as England has rejected me, so have I rejected England.” During Smithson’s lifetime, England had fought two bitter wars with her rebellious colonies in America. So, to show his utter contempt for those who had mistreated him, he gave everything to the United States Government for the establishment of a scientific institution in the young nation’s capital. To this day the Smithsonian Institution is recognized as one of the most prominent institutions of its kind in the would. England made the tremendous mistake of thinking that she had no need of this man, from whom she might have benefited greatly.
Let us be careful of saying to some member of the body of Christ, “I have no need of you,” only to find that the same member could have met some of our greatest spiritual needs. —Paul Harvey
